Harvey stepped closer to the edge of his boundary. “Please.”
Biting my lip, I was reaching forward as I heard footfalls coming down the stairs. I looked back to see my father looking at me. “What’re you doing down here, Sport? You don’t need to be down in this cold air and we need to get moving. Long drive ahead of us.”
When I turned back to the center of the room, I couldn’t see Harvey anymore. Something about that hurt worse, and my trickle of tears became watery sobs. My father came the rest of the way down the steps and put his arm around me.
“Hey, man. It’s okay. I know you still feel bad. Is that all it is, or is something else wrong?”
Trying to regain control, I shook my head. “I just…I thought I left something down here. But I think I lost it.”
Dad gave me another squeeze and led me back upstairs. As we climbed the steps, I looked back down one last time and saw Harvey watching me go. Mouthing the words silently, I said the last thing I would say to him until I was a thirty-two year old man.
“I’m sorry, Harvey. I’m so sorry.”
****
I never went back to Aunt Karen’s house after that. Not because she was gone—she actually went into remission and lived another fifteen years before the cancer came back and got her like an absent-minded traveler who had temporarily forgotten his hat.
And not because Rusty didn’t go—he actually went back every few months to visit for a few days and took care of Karen during the last year of her life. It made sense that she left the house to him, and while he didn’t live there as far as I knew, I had no doubt he visited it often.
I lost a lot that year. My mother, most of my time with Aunt Karen, and worst of all, my two real friends in the world. Rusty…he was never the same after our time with Harvey. He was never mean to me, and we would sometimes still talk or do things together, but it was always hollow and forced. There was something between us now.
That something was Harvey. I grew to hate myself for not being braver and more trusting when I had the chance. I learned to hate myself even more as months and years went by and I did nothing to correct my mistake.
I think people don’t really know themselves until they have to do a really hard thing that is also the right thing. Their choice holds up a mirror that cuts through excuses and self-deceit, if only for a time.
Well, I had seen myself in that mirror. I saw myself every time I turned down a chance to go to Aunt Karen’s and set Harvey free. Every time I made an excuse or rationalization for my inaction. Every day as I pushed myself further and further away from Rusty rather than ask him the hard questions.
How was Harvey doing? Was he still trapped in that basement? And the hardest question of all: Just what are you doing to him when you go to visit?
By the time I left for college, I barely saw Rusty at all. It made it easier, you see. Easier to not remind myself of the strange and disquieting young man my brother had become and the weak coward I had always been. Easier to half-deceive myself that my memories of Harvey were all just the fanciful fever-dreams of a young boy who was losing his friendship with an older brother.
That’s why I felt a wave of panicked nausea when my phone started buzzing and I saw that it was Rusty responding to my condolences about his girlfriend. That’s why after three days of messages that moved from “Thanks for reaching out” to “We need to talk soon” to “Answer your phone, Tommy”, I just turned it off.
That’s why I didn’t open the envelope I got in the mail until a few minutes ago.
It was a burnable DVD with a sticky note on the front that just said “Watch this and then call me.—Rusty”. I felt like all the air was leaving the room as I put the disc in my computer and hit play. At first I didn’t understand what I was watching. It was a home movie of some kind, and it was in Aunt Karen’s house. Or I guess it was Rusty’s house now.
That’s actually what was being talked about on the video. It sounded like Rusty was recording the video with his phone and his girlfriend—Alice, not Alicia—was being given a tour of sorts. He was talking about the remodeling he was doing and how excited he was about it. At first it seemed normal enough, and I found myself missing my brother as he talked to Alice and joked with her. He sounded more like his old self with her.
But then he said he wanted to show her the basement. She seemed willing enough, but it was clear that she was expecting more than the bare room that the camera was showing. There was no sign of Harvey, but there was an area of the concrete floor that seemed rougher and more worn than the rest.
It was in the rough shape of a circle.
The view of the camera was suddenly jerked away from the room and back to Alice. Rusty was clearly excited now, and as he talked, the camera shifted again as he squatted or knelt down on the basement floor. That’s when I realized he was proposing to her.
She seemed to realize it at the same time, and her expression turned from pleasant curiosity to concerned dismay. She took a step back as she interrupted him.
“Russ, no. You need to stop this. Look, you’re a great guy, but I’m not interested in marrying you. I’m probably never going to get married at all. I thought I made that clear.”
Rusty’s voice was softer when he responded, but the hard, waiting anger coiled underneath his words made my stomach clench. “So you’re saying this is the wrong time or that you just don’t want to marry me?”
Visibly upset, Alice ran her hands through her hair and stared at the ground for a minute before looking back up, her expression sad. “Fuck. I didn’t want to do this like this. Look, we need to stop seeing each other. This isn’t working out for me and I’m just keeping you from…”
Rusty had stood back up as she spoke, and I gasped as his leg flashed into the bottom of the frame as he kicked her in the stomach and cut off her words with an audible whoosh of air. The force of the kick didn’t knock her down, but it did cause her to stumble back into the circle.
The next moment she was silently thrashing and trying to scream as she tried in vain to get more air. Then she was still and Rusty was sitting the phone down as he moved to pick up a wide push broom from where it was propped against the wall. I couldn’t see what was going on, but I could hear the scritchscratch of the broom bristles as he used the wide head of the broom to pull her body back outside the boundaries of Harvey’s prison. I could also hear the last words he said before the video ended.
“That's good, Harvey. That’s a real good boy.”
Part Four
You: So I watched the video you sent. I’m ready to meet and talk.
Rusty: Good. We have a lot to talk about. I’ve been doing a lot of work out at Aunt Karen’s house lately. You want to just meet out there?
You: No. I’m not ready to go back there. Not yet. Let’s meet somewhere neutral and just talk for now. Want to meet at the mall in Glen Cove?
Rusty: Don’t trust me, eh? Well, I get why the video might freak you out a little. But you’re safe with me, little brother.
You: Glen Cove tomorrow at about noon in the food court?
Rusty: Fine. See you then, Tommy. I’ve missed you.
****
Of course, I wasn’t going to the mall in Glen Cove or to Glen Cove at all. I was going to Karen’s house to finally finish this for good. I left home early in the morning, but with the drive time I still didn’t reach it until a quarter til twelve. Parking up the road and out of sight, I walked in far enough to see there were no cars or other signs of Rusty hanging around. I still found myself wanting to hesitate, wanting to wait longer to make sure he had really gone, but I forced myself to stop. The time for excuses and waiting was over. It was time for me to stop being a fucking coward.
The exterior of the house looked the same aside from a fresh coat of paint and some flowers planted along the front of the porch. Climbing those steps was hard, but it wasn’t just sadness that I felt. There was anger there too. Anger at myself for all the mistakes I had made and things I had le
ft undone, but also anger at Rusty. He had betrayed Harvey and me, but what’s more, he had betrayed himself. The version of Rusty that he could have been. A good brother and a good man. For what? Aunt Karen’s house and becoming more of a monster than Harvey had ever been.
It took three kicks for me to get the front door open. Stepping inside slowly, I looked around to make sure I wasn’t walking into a trap. I didn’t know Rusty at all anymore, and I couldn’t assume he wouldn’t kill me just as quickly as he had the poor girl on the video.
But as I walked through the house to the basement door, there was no sign of him or anyone else. Well, that’s not strictly true. Because even at a distance, I felt like I could somehow sense Harvey stirring down in the dark below me.
Blood thrummed in my ears as I opened the door and started down the stairs. The basement was well-lit with fluorescent lights, but at first I didn’t see anything different than what was on the video. A sparse room of cinderblock walls and a concrete floor that seemed peculiarly worn in the middle.
I stood at the bottom of the steps for several seconds before pushing myself closer. I thought I saw a slight disturbance in the air, but I couldn’t be sure. Then I heard a rumble that came and went quickly as a summer thunderclap. It was Harvey growling at me.
Stepping closer to the edge of the unseen circle, I knelt down. “Harvey? Do you know me? Oh God, I’m so sorry. I’m so so sorry. Do you know me at all?”
There was a thickening of the air just a few inches away from my face, and I could barely make out the flicker of large amber eyes regarding me across the boundary that separated us. I was surprised when I realized I didn’t feel afraid anymore. Just happy to finally see Harvey again.
“Tommy? You came back?”
My hands went to my mouth as my vision started to swim. “Fuck. Yes, yes, Harvey. I came back. I’m so sorry it took so long. But I’m going to get you out of here now. I swear it.” I stood up as my eyes went to the ceiling. I didn’t see any hot water bottles up there or anything out of the ordinary at all. I was taking out a flashlight when Harvey spoke again.
“They’re not up there anymore. He dug a trench in the floor years ago. Filled it with salt and covered it up.”
Heart sinking, I looked closer at the floor and saw he was right. There was a barely perceptible ridge of newer concrete all the way around. That motherfucker had decided to make Harvey’s prison permanent.
Looking up at Harvey’s eyes, I tried to smile. “Don’t worry. I’ll find something and break it up. Be right back.” Just then, my phone buzzed. It was Rusty.
Rusty: I see you at the house, Tommy. Got cameras all over now. Stay away from Harvey until I get there. I fucking mean it.
I gripped the phone tighter before jamming it back in my pocket. “Rusty knows I’m here, and he’s coming back, so I have to hurry. It should take him an hour to get here, so we should be okay.” Looking around the room, I asked, “Do you know where he keeps his tools?”
Harvey’s voice had been very faint and indistinct at first, but this time it sounded a bit clearer, a bit stronger. “I don’t know, but he always brought them from outside.”
The shed.
I ran out the exterior door and around the side of the house to where the old shed still sat lopsided and moldering. The only thing new about it was the padlock on the door. Fuck it. I didn’t have time for this shit.
It only took a few hits to break in one of the rotting boards lining the sides of the shed, and after that, it was short work to pry open a hole big enough for me to climb through. The interior was dark, with only small beams of sunlight poking through between the uneven slats of the roof. When I shined my flashlight around, I saw that the shed was both smaller and more filled with tools and junk than I remembered. It took several minutes of searching to find a hammer and a heavy screwdriver to use as a makeshift chisel, and while they weren’t the ideal tools for the job, I worried that wasting more time searching would be worse than going with what I had.
My first attempts at chipping away at the concrete did very little. First I used big, hard swings that sent the metal tip of the screwdriver this way and that, then I tried smaller taps that were too light. But after a few tries, I got into a rhythm of fast, hard strikes on the same spot and I started making progress. In just a few minutes I was sweating, though I wasn’t sure if it was from exertion and concentration or just my growing fear that Rusty was going to get there before I had cleared enough of the salt away. I let out a little yell as the screwdriver bit deeper. I had broken through to the bottom of the salt trench.
That’s when Harvey spoke again.
“Tommy, he’s almost here. I can sense him. You need to be very careful. He will kill you if you anger him enough.”
I shook my head. “I can handle him. I’m getting you out.”
“You need to understand this. There is no way to handle him. You don’t know the man he has become. If you continue trying to help me, he will try to kill you.”
I stopped for a moment and looked up into Harvey’s eyes. “Why are you telling me this?”
Harvey was silent for a moment as though considering before he spoke again. “Where I come from, there is a saying. ‘Everything is paid for.’”
“Yeah, I’ve heard versions of that here too.”
“Good. Maybe that will help you understand then. Rusty has to pay a price for all that he has done. So must you. So must I. Whether now or later, everything is paid for eventually.”
I went back to digging at the trench. “We can talk more about all that later. For now I need to get you out.”
“It’s too late. He’s already here.”
****
“Tommy! Tommy, you little shit, get away from him, get up here!” The screaming had started as soon as the front door opened, and he was at the top of the stairs in seconds. “I fucking mean it, Tom.”
I was prying wildly at the crack I had opened up, and a chunk of concrete flew up as Rusty started thundering down the steps. I looked up as he reached the bottom, and I felt my heart sink at what I saw.
He was still Rusty, but there was a wrongness to him now. My brother was always clever, and I’m sure he had learned to hide it well enough when he was in control of himself. But he wasn’t in control of himself now. His expression was wild and crazed, and as he dashed around the perimeter of Harvey’s prison to reach me, I saw the terrible truth of him in his eyes.
He wasn’t just willing to hurt and kill me. He wanted to.
I dodged to the side at the last moment, but he compensated and hit me in the ribs, falling on top of me even as I felt my shoulder crack painfully into the concrete floor. I tried to get away from him, but his hands were clawing at my shoulders and head as he tried to leverage himself into a better position atop me. In a second he’d be on my back and then it’d all be over.
So I did the only thing I had left to do. I took the hammer and swung it hard at his head.
The effect was immediate. His limbs went limp as he started to slide off me. I thought for a moment he was dead, but then his eyes started to flutter open as blood dripped down onto his eyelashes. By the time I was on my feet, his gaze was steady and hot as he started reaching for me again.
Enough of this. It was time to be done. Time to pay.
I stepped behind Rusty and wrapped my arm around his neck. He struggled weakly at first, but then he saw I didn’t mean to choke him out. Instead I was dragging us both inside of Harvey’s circle. He began screaming and wailing then, a newfound strength born out of terror making it harder to hold onto him as I crossed the hidden salt threshold. Gritting my teeth, I clung on tightly and fell backward, using my body weight to yank him the rest of the way inside.
Harvey was over us now, the air darkening as he took shape. He didn’t look like a particular animal now, or perhaps he looked like several. He had the broad, emaciated head of a starving bear perched on shoulders that were almost ape-like—except that they terminated in arms that were clo
ser to entwined branches than flesh and bone. His hands, thin and well-articulated bits of clay and stone, reached out to Rusty’s face even as the man let out a pig-like squeal of terror. I smelled something foul and realized he had shit himself, and I couldn’t help but feel some dark satisfaction at the depth of his well-deserved fear.
I looked up at Harvey and grimaced. “Do it. End him. End both of us if you need to, just let me get you out first. I accept the price that has to be paid.”
Harvey’s gaunt countenance seemed to frown slightly at that. “No, Tommy. You misunderstand. Death is not the price. Death is no punishment at all. And Rusty’s price is for him alone.” Rusty had sank into petrified silence, but his mind wasn’t gone, at least not yet. He was listening carefully to what we were saying.
I looked at Harvey in confusion as I checked my grip on Rusty’s neck and wrapped my legs around his own. “What then? What are you going to do to him?”
Harvey looked almost sad. “My kind call it being made Dim. It is the worst punishment we have. Rusty will be bound to this place forever. Here, but not here. Seeing, but unseen. Knowing, but unknown. A shadow that can never leave, never die, never rest.”
I swallowed. “That’s his price? For all he’s done?”
Harvey nodded. “It is. Can you accept that? It will only take a moment, but I need him held still and I’m still too weak to do it myself.” I didn’t know what to say. I knew he deserved it, but the enormity of condemning someone to that kind of hell…
That’s when Rusty spoke up.
“You can fucking talk? All this time, you could fucking talk? I dedicated my life to you, taught you so much, and you never said a word to me. But you talk to him? Like I’m not even fucking here?”
Harvey’s gaze flared as he regarded Rusty, and I felt him begin to tremble again under the creature's glare. While I wasn’t afraid exactly, I couldn’t help but hold my breath. Even in his diminished state, Harvey looked somehow…regal. “You were never worth speaking to. Never my friend. You were nothing, and you'll soon be less than that.” His eyes went back to me. “Are you able to help in this?”
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