by Marie Force
Caroline got up and went to her. “Mitzi . . .”
Mitzi turned to Caroline, her face a mask of devastation. “Oh, Caroline. It was the real thing, wasn’t it?”
“Yes,” Caroline whispered as her own eyes filled. “Very much so.”
“What are you going to do? We can we do?”
“We have to wait. And hope. Unless he can find a way to forgive himself, there’s nothing we can do.”
Mitzi reached out to wipe the tears from Caroline’s cheeks. “What are you going to do, honey?”
“I’m going to finish my book.” She pointed to number five on the list. “And try to keep busy. Eventually I’ll go back to work.”
“Will you stay here?”
She nodded. “I live here now. Besides, if my husband should happen to change his mind, I’d like him to be able to find me.”
“As long as you want to be busy, I know of some very worthy causes that could use the services of a talented writer,” Mitzi said with a shy smile. “We’re down one Duffy on the charity circuit, so I’d enjoy having you there.”
“I’d like that, Mitzi.” Caroline grasped her mother-in-law’s hand. “I’d like that very much.”
The worst part about leaving Children’s Hospital Boston was leaving the children. By the time he set out for Concord at ten o’clock that night, Ted was drained. He’d had tearful farewells with his coworkers, the kids on the in-patient ward, and with several of the parents he’d become close to. He still felt weepy as he crossed the New Hampshire border. But there was no sense looking back. Now was the time for moving forward.
An hour later, he arrived in the quaint city of Concord and checked into the first hotel he found. He’d have to go back to Boston at some point to get more clothes and a few other things he needed. To do that, though, he would have to see Caroline. Maybe he would just buy new clothes. That would be easier and less painful.
As he lay down on the hard bed in the nondescript hotel room, he wondered how she was doing. He wished he could call her and talk to her about how it had felt to leave his kids. She would understand, and she would know just what to say to make him feel better. But he couldn’t call her. That wouldn’t be fair.
Over the next two weeks, Ted settled into his new job. It was more administrative than he preferred, but it was a challenge, especially overseeing all the pediatricians at the hospital. Fortunately, he had been given a highly efficient executive assistant who handled the worst of the paperwork for him.
On the medical side, he became accustomed to seeing mostly healthy kids with minor illnesses and injuries and realized that once he had removed the word “cancer” from his daily vocabulary, he had also stopped constantly anticipating disaster.
He went to Weston for a somber Thanksgiving with his family—the first without Smitty in more years than he could remember, the first without his grandmother, and what should have been his first with Caroline—and returned to Concord the next day. Only the presence of his baby niece Lilly had saved the holiday from being a total disaster.
On Saturday, he spent most of the day on the sofa pretending to watch football, but all his thoughts were about Chip and Elise getting married in New York and how he was supposed to be in the wedding party. He hoped that Parker, at the very least, was with Chip.
Unfortunately, Ted knew all too well what it was like to get married without his closest friends by his side. He hurt to think of Chip going through the same thing. He hurt to think of them all, and for that one day, he allowed in the pain. If anyone had told him a year ago that Chip and Elise would be getting married and he wouldn’t be there . . .
As time went by, word got out that a nationally renowned pediatric oncologist was now practicing in Concord. Before he knew it, he was treating six children with cancer from various corners of northern New England, in consultation with his former colleagues at Children’s. Ted was satisfied to able to keep a hand in his former specialty and to save their parents the extra travel time.
When he wasn’t working, he ran—usually twice a day—and worked on the old house outside of town he had bought on a whim. He kept his distance from the people in town, especially the women who eyed the new doctor with interest.
He’d called Caroline only once, to give her his new cell phone number and address and to discuss a few financial matters pertaining to the condo in Boston. He’d been in Concord for six weeks when he finally worked up the fortitude to ease the wedding band off his left hand and put it on his dresser.
His parents and grandfather came up for a weekend visit, but Ted refused to discuss Caroline, his friends, his career, or any of the painful memories he had worked so hard to put behind him.
A few days before Christmas, he went into town for dinner at an Irish pub he had heard good things about. He was sick of his own cooking and his own company after a Saturday spent sanding floors. A live band entertained the crowd of locals. Ted recognized a few of them from his practice and nodded to say hello but didn’t encourage anyone to approach him as he took a seat at the bar. He had ordered the roast beef special and was nursing a beer when the band took a break and switched on some canned music. The Lifehouse song “You and Me” filled the pub, transporting Ted back to their wedding night at the Ritz. The pain of losing Caroline shot through him like a bullet, leaving him breathless with longing. He got up, tossed a twenty on the bar, and left the pub.
Because he couldn’t bear another stiff-upper-lip holiday in Weston, he volunteered to cover Christmas Day at the hospital so the other doctors could be with their families. The day after Christmas, he received an invitation in the mail.
John & Marjorie Smith
request the honor of your presence
at a dinner to celebrate their marriage
Saturday, January 9
7:30 p.m.
21 Club
21 West 52nd Street
New York, New York
Across the bottom, in his familiar scrawl, Smitty had written, “I expect you to come. It’s the least you can do.”
Chapter Thirty-Nine
On the ninth, Ted caught an early-morning train to Boston where he met his parents and grandfather at South Station. Tish and Steven had been invited to the party but had chosen to stay home with baby Lilly.
The foursome boarded a second train to New York’s Penn Station. During the long ride through Connecticut, his mother tried to engage Ted in conversation, but he preferred to stare out the window. He couldn’t imagine what Smitty was up to and wasn’t sure if he should be relieved or nervous about the night to come. Either way, he couldn’t wait to see his friends again, even if they ignored him.
His father had sprung for adjoining rooms at The Plaza, and his grandfather joked about being Ted’s roommate. The old man seemed to be holding up pretty well without his wife, and Ted was happy to be the butt of his jokes if it kept his grandfather smiling.
Mitzi took off to do some shopping, and Ted went for a long run in the frigid cold through Central Park. He allowed his mind to wander to all the weekends he had spent in the city since Chip and Smitty had moved there after graduate school. They’d had so many good times in so many different places that it was hard to be anywhere and not think of one or all of them. And it was impossible to be back in New York City without thinking about his middle-of-the-night sprint to get to Caroline and their first two magical days together.
That night, Ted dressed in a dark suit and tie and checked his appearance in the mirror at least three times before he went into his parents’ room for a shot of the whiskey his father had brought.
At seven fifteen, they took a cab to the 21 Club and were the first to arrive in the private room Smitty had reserved. Ted realized this was going to be no ordinary evening when he saw the place card next to his on the large square table that read, “Mrs. Caroline Duffy.” His heart was suddenly in his throat. It hadn’t occurred to him that she would be there, but with hindsight, he should’ve expected it since Smitty had unfinished busi
ness with her as well.
A waiter came around to take drink orders, and Ted asked for a beer even though he wanted more whiskey.
The door opened, and Parker came in with Gina and two young boys in dark suits and ties. He greeted Ted’s parents and grandfather with warm hugs and introduced them to Gina and the boys. Ted noticed a huge diamond on Gina’s left hand and was thrilled to know his friend now had everything he’d ever wanted.
Parker shook hands with Ted and introduced him to Gina’s sons, Anthony and Dominic. They politely shook hands with Ted even as the younger one tugged at his tie and fidgeted in his stiff suit. Parker put a hand on Anthony’s shoulder and whispered something in his ear. The boy looked up at him, smiled, and nodded.
Every time the door opened, Ted’s heart hammered as he waited for Caroline. Parker’s father, James King, was the next to arrive with a buxom blond on his arm, followed by Chip and Elise.
Elise launched herself into Ted’s arms. “So good to see you, Duff,” she whispered. “I’ve missed you so much.”
“Me, too.” He kissed her cheek and hugged her again. “How was the wedding?”
“Almost perfect. We missed you and Smitty terribly.”
“I’m sorry, Elise. I really wanted to go, but . . .”
“I know. Where’s Caroline?”
He shook his head and held up his left hand where his ring used to be.
Her face fell. “No.” She looked at him with disbelief. “No. Not after everything you sacrificed, not after everything we all sacrificed . . .”
With a grim expression, Ted shrugged. “Doomed from the start.”
“Duff . . .”
Chip came up to her and put his arm around her. Like Parker, Chip shook Ted’s hand but had nothing much to say to him.
The next time the door opened, Caroline came in wearing a black dress that offset her pale beauty. Her hair was swept up, her green eyes were big with nerves, and to Ted she had never been more lovely. He was surprised when his mother went over to Caroline like she had been expecting her and embraced her warmly. What the hell? Mitzi took her daughter-in-law’s hand and led her into the room.
Before Ted had time to contemplate the obvious change in his mother’s relationship with Caroline, Smitty came in holding hands with two women, one who looked young enough to be his daughter and the other, well, she looked just like him.
“Hello, everyone,” he said in that big booming voice that was all Smitty. “I want to thank you for coming tonight and introduce you to my wife, Marjorie. Her friends call her Margo, and I know she’d be thrilled if you were to call her that.”
Marjorie gave him an adoring look and nodded.
“I’ll bring her around to meet each of you shortly. And this,” he said with a glance at the other woman he had brought, “is my mother, Sarah Beth Smith.”
The room fell completely silent.
Smitty helped both women into chairs at the head of the table. “I know you have a lot of questions,” he said with a gracious smile. “And I’m going to answer them all. But for now, please take your seats, and let’s have dinner.”
Ted stood behind his chair and waited as Caroline crossed the room to him. When she lifted her eyes to meet his, his heart staggered in his chest.
He kissed her cheek. “Hi, honey.”
“Hi, Ted. You look well.”
He held her chair for her. “You look beautiful.”
“Thank you.”
“Happy birthday.”
“You remembered,” she said with a sigh.
“Yes.”
Ted and Caroline whispered about Smitty’s mother and made polite small talk as they were presented with a staggering array of appetizers and numerous entrée choices. He wanted to reach for her hand under the table to help calm the nerves he felt coming from her. But he didn’t.
“You’re not wearing your ring anymore,” she said sadly.
“No, but you are.”
She shrugged. “Foolish hope, I guess.”
“Caroline . . .”
She put her hand over his on the table. “Let’s just get through this because we owe it to Smitty.”
They were between courses when Smitty brought Marjorie around to meet their guests. He introduced her to each of his friends as if nothing had ever happened between them.
Ted found her accent charming and her obvious love for Smitty a big relief. As Ted talked to her, he realized she was much older than she looked, which was also a relief.
“So after John came back to Sydney to finish the review of my father’s company,” she was saying, “he said to me one night, ‘Marjorie, I think I could do something great with this place. What would you think of taking it off the market and giving me a year?’”
“Were your partners mad?” Ted asked.
Smitty shrugged. “I found another Australian company that was a good fit for them, so we parted on good terms. I decided I have all the money I need. I want to build on what Marjorie’s father started. It’s a lot more satisfying than playing the market every day.”
“Sounds like it,” Ted said.
“I’m still taking care of James, though,” Smitty said with a smile as he shook hands with Parker’s father. “He wouldn’t take no for an answer.”
Smitty and Marjorie moved on to talk to James and his date before dinner was served.
The waiters had finished serving dessert and more champagne when Smitty stood up. “I’d like to propose a toast to my wife, Marjorie. The day I landed in Sydney was the luckiest day of my life, and I’ll be forever grateful to her for seeing the real me, the real John. She’s the only person in the world who really knows me, and she loves me anyway. To you, sweetheart.”
Ted was touched by Smitty’s toast, but confused, too. The only person who really knew him? What’s that supposed to mean? He exchanged glances with Caroline, who shrugged.
“To you, John.” Marjorie looked up at him. “My sweet, gentle giant, the most generous man I’ve ever known. I love you.”
Smitty touched his glass to hers and leaned down to kiss her as his guests applauded.
Ted watched his mother wipe tears from her face before she accepted his father’s handkerchief.
“Next I want to propose a toast to my best friend, Ted Duffy, and his beautiful wife, Caroline.”
Ted felt his stomach drop. Oh, please. Please don’t let him ruin this for his wife by being an asshole. In an unconscious gesture, Ted reached for Caroline’s hand under the table.
She held on for dear life.
“Duff, Caroline, we’ve had a tough year.” Smitty used his eyes to include Parker, Chip, and Elise. “In fact, this has been the best and the worst year of my life during which I lost something I thought would last forever and found something I’d given up on ever finding. I don’t know about you guys, but I’m having a hell of a time enjoying one without the other.”
Ted felt his throat close and tears sting his eyes. He looked down in a desperate effort to control them.
“There’s an old saying that everything happens for a reason,” Smitty continued in a low, soft voice filled with emotion. “I’ve come to see I owe the two of you a debt of gratitude.”
Ted and Caroline looked up at him with surprise.
“I had no plans to go to Sydney.” He paused to let that settle. “If things hadn’t happened the way they did, I would’ve sent someone else. I’d never have met Marjorie and maybe never have found true love and with it, the courage to face all my demons head on.”
Smitty walked around the table as he spoke. “Lillian called me home to ask me to forgive you, Duff. She said if I didn’t, I’d never find room in my heart for love because the bitterness would be taking up all the space.”
By then, all the women and most of the men were frantically dealing with tears.
“Turns out she was right. After her funeral, after that terrible day when I had the chance to say what I needed to say to both of you, I let it go. I forgave you. I didn’t real
ize it at the time, but I figured it out when I got back to Sydney and Marjorie was waiting for me. I knew I’d forgiven you when I was so filled with love for her that there was no room left for bitterness.”
He turned to Parker. “I was unfair to you, and I apologize.”
Parker nodded and wiped discreetly at the corner of his eye.
Gina put her arm around him. Her boys were busy coloring, oblivious to the drama playing out around them.
To Chip, Smitty said, “I was horribly unfair to you, and I apologize for that and for missing your wedding. My wife begged me to go. That I didn’t go will surely go down as one of the great regrets of my life.”
Chip did nothing to try to hide his tears as he nodded.
Elise reached out to both Chip and Smitty.
“I want my friends back,” Smitty said in a whisper as the emotion of the moment finally got to him and he broke down. He swiped a big hand over his face. “Nothing’s the same without you guys.”
Ted was the first one out of his chair.
Smitty lifted him off his feet into a bear hug.
Parker was next, followed by Chip.
Smitty put his hands on the shoulders of Parker and Chip. “If I can forgive him,” he said with a nod to Ted, “so can you. If he has with Caroline even half of what I have with Marjorie then he’s a lucky man, and we all need to be happy for him.”
Parker and Chip hugged Ted, who had given up on trying to hold it together.
Smitty turned next to Mitzi. “I also owe you an apology.”
Perplexed, she shook her head and mouthed the word “no.”
“For the last twenty years, you’ve been my mother, Mitz. You know that. But for all that time, I had a mother. I was dishonest with all of you about her and about my childhood.”
“John.” Sarah Beth held out her hand to her son. “Let me.”
“You don’t have to, Mom,” he said, returning to his seat and taking her hand.