by Marie Force
Olivia started out the door but stopped to face her mother. “You need help, Mom,” she said softly. “You can’t live like this anymore. None of us can.”
“Go to your boyfriend, Olivia.”
With the heat of her mother’s glare on her back, Olivia went down the stairs and loaded her things in the car. As she got into the driver’s seat, she glanced up to find Mary still watching her from inside the house she had made her prison.
If Olivia had driven home in a dreamlike state, she returned to the hotel in shock. Could her timing for a quick trip home have been any worse? She found a parking space on the street in front of the hotel and rested her head on the steering wheel. The whole situation was so ridiculous, so ridiculously pathetic. She had no idea how much time passed before the driver’s side door suddenly swung open, startling her.
“Baby, what’s wrong?” Cole’s arms slid around her. “What happened?”
Unable to speak, she fell against him but couldn’t find the words she needed.
“Are you hurt?” His hands coasted frantically over her face, almost as if he was taking inventory. “Did someone hurt you?”
She shook her head and held on tight to his hand.
“I walked down to Giant to get some beer, and I was on my way back when I saw you sitting here.” His voice had gone from anxious to soothing. “I couldn’t get to you fast enough.”
“Sorry,” she said, breathing in the clean, fresh smell of him, trying to cleanse herself of the ugliness.
“Liv, you’re kind of scaring me here.”
“I just need a minute.”
“Come on.” He eased her out of the car. “Let’s get you inside, and you can have all the minutes you need.”
“The stuff is in the back.”
“I’ll come back for it.”
He kept an arm tight around her but didn’t say anything as they made their way inside. In the lobby, a woman wearing a predatory smile approached them.
“Not now,” Cole snapped.
“Jeez, what a jerk,” the woman muttered as she walked away.
Once they were in their room, he settled Olivia on the sofa. “Can I get you anything? Some water? A stiff drink maybe?”
Against all odds, she smiled. “Water would be great.”
He disappeared into the bathroom, reappearing seconds later with a glass of water. After handing it to her, he sat next to her.
“Thanks.” She took a long sip and put the glass on the table. When she sat back, he slipped his arm around her and guided her head to his chest.
“Want to talk about it?”
“Not really.”
“Okay.”
Because he didn’t push, because he didn’t insist on knowing, she found herself telling him anyway—from the twin babies her mother lost when Olivia was five to the scene she had interrupted at home. And by the time she finished, the room had grown darker but still he held her.
“Do you know what I wonder sometimes?” she said softly.
“What’s that?”
“What would’ve been different if they had lived? I would’ve had a sister and another brother. I always wanted a sister. I had Jenny, but that wasn’t the same. She had two of her own sisters, and even though she was closer to me, they came first, you know?”
“Yeah, I can see what you mean.”
“I also wonder what kind of mother I would’ve had if they hadn’t died. I remember little snippets from before. There was a birthday party once. I’m not sure if it was for me or one of my brothers. My mother was laughing and carrying a cake that blazed with candles. There were no more parties after she lost the babies. There was no more of anything.”
“Liv,” he sighed. “I’m so sorry.”
“I never understood why the three kids she had couldn’t have been enough. I can only imagine how devastating it was for her to lose the twins, but did she want them so badly that she could just forget about the three of us after she lost them?”
“I don’t know, honey. Grief does funny things to people. I’ve seen that in my own family since my mother died.”
Olivia gasped. “I can’t believe I’m saying all these awful things about my mother when yours died so tragically.”
“One has nothing to do with the other. Everyone has different experiences with their mothers.”
“I was sure lucky to have Jenny’s mom. She’s my father’s sister, and she was always there for me when I needed her. But she had five kids of her own.”
“So you never came first with her, either.”
Olivia shrugged. “It was better than nothing.”
With his hand on her chin, he turned her face up. “You come first with me.”
His eyes were bluer than they had ever been and full of love—for her. She was still getting used to the miracle of that.
“Always,” he added.
How could he know what that meant to her? How could he ever know?
“Thank you,” she managed to say.
“Do you know what you need?” he asked.
She shook her head.
“A swim.”
“Now?”
“Why not? You’ll feel better if you get your mind off this for a while.”
“I’m sorry.” She sat up. “I’m ruining our last day. I didn’t mean to—”
He stopped her with his fingers on her lips. “Don’t do that. Don’t apologize for leaning on me when you needed me. I don’t know what I can do for you, other than make sure you have some fun because I think you need it. That’s the only reason I suggested a swim.”
She caressed the cheek she had watched him shave that morning. “I love you.”
“Good,” he said, his voice heavy with emotion. “Because I love you, too. And I hate to see you unhappy.”
“I’m a lot better now that I’m back with you.”
He kissed both her hands. “Will you be okay for a minute if I run out and get your stuff?”
She nodded, and with a quick kiss, he left her.
While he was gone, Olivia went into the bathroom to freshen up. What am I going to do? She washed her face and smoothed on some moisturizer. You’re going to apply for student loans and get an apartment of your own. As much as it pained her to admit it, her mother was right. It was time for her to be out on her own. A few loans to get her through the last year or two of school wouldn’t kill her.
Satisfied she had a plan for herself, her thoughts shifted to her father and the enormous task he had ahead of him. Whatever he needed, she would be there for him, she vowed, just as he had always been there for her.
By the time Cole returned with his arms full, Olivia felt a little better. It always helped to have a plan.
“I’m dying to look at this,” he said, holding the bag that contained her artwork. “But not until we have some fun.” He handed her the other bag of extra clothes. “Is it too much to hope there might be a bikini in there?”
She smiled. “Nope.”
Groaning, he nudged her toward the bathroom. “Hurry.”
His playful mood helped to further improve hers as she changed into the skimpy, black crocheted bikini Jenny had bought her as a joke for her birthday the year before. Olivia had never worn it but had brought it knowing Cole would like it.
As she tied the top behind her neck, she worried that maybe it was too skimpy for a hotel pool. With a nervous laugh, she adjusted the tiny triangles that made up the bottom half of the suit, amazed by how uninhibited she had become after only a couple of days with him—albeit a couple of monumental days.
When she emerged from the bathroom, Cole was checking the messages on his cell phone. He had changed into navy-blue board shorts and had a dark T-shirt tucked under his arm. Olivia walked up behind him and kissed his back.
He startled. “Hey, I didn’t hear you come out.” Stashing the phone in his pocket, like he had just gotten caught doing something dishonest, he turned around.
“Everything all right?” she asked.
&
nbsp; “Yeah,” he said, but there was… something… in his eyes.
Her stomach twisted. “Cole?”
“It’s nothing.” His eyes skirted over her as he finally noticed what she was wearing—or what she wasn’t.
“Wow.” Releasing a long deep breath, he added, “Wow.”
“Yes, you said that.”
“Did I?”
She waved a hand in front of his face. “Hello? Swimming?”
“Right. Swimming.”
When he still didn’t move, she wrapped her arms around his neck and went up on tiptoes to kiss him. “Or not.”
He fell into the kiss with abandon that made her head spin. Lifting her to him, he made her breathless with deep, sweeping thrusts of his tongue. Then, all of a sudden, he stopped and pulled away.
“What is it?”
“I’m sorry.” He rubbed a hand over his mouth. “We were going swimming.”
Olivia looked up at him as she laced her fingers through his. “We don’t have to.”
He smiled, but it seemed forced. “I promised you some fun.”
She slipped on a T-shirt and a pair of flip-flops and followed him from the room, still wondering what was going on with him.
The pool was deserted when they arrived.
“Hot tub or pool?” he asked.
Olivia eyed the hot tub.
“Hot tub it is.”
“Oh, I like this,” she sighed, easing into the steamy water.
Cole flipped a switch on the wall to turn on the jets before he joined her.
“Feels good, huh?”
Tilting her head back, she said, “Mmm.”
“Are you doing a little better?”
She opened her eyes and nodded. “Thank you. For listening and everything.”
“That’s what I’m here for.”
“You know…” She ran a finger along his jaw and down his neck. “I’m here, too. For you.”
“I know.”
“You’re sure everything’s all right?”
“Well, let’s see.” He reached for her. “I have you wearing a barely there bikini and a hot tub all to ourselves.” He guided her onto his lap so she faced him. “So yes, everything’s all right. In fact,” he said, cupping her bottom and pulling her tight against his erection, “I’ve never been better.”
As the water bubbled around them, Olivia reveled in the moment. Being in love was a heady rush of emotion: excitement and fear and dread. The thought stopped her cold. Where had that come from? Sitting here, with his arms tight around her, was everything she had ever dreamed of. So why the dread? Because she worried it would end somehow, someday. That he’d find someone he liked better.
Cole rested his head on her shoulder.
She curled her arm around his neck. His hair brushed against her face, and his lips coasted over her shoulder.
“I really, really want to take you out tonight,” he said softly, his kisses sending shivers through her.
“You don’t have to. I’m perfectly content to stay in and do nothing as long as I can do nothing with you.”
“Humor me?” he asked, sliding his hands up over her ribs, stopping just under her breasts.
Olivia clung to him, wanting him desperately. “You really want to?”
“Uh-huh.”
“Okay,” she said with a sigh.
He slanted a crooked smile at her. “You’re not overwhelming me with your enthusiasm.”
“I’ll work on it.”
“While you’re doing that, we also need to work on your portfolio.”
She tightened her arms around him. “Five more minutes?”
“How about ten?”
Chapter Thirteen
Cole held up a painting of cherry blossoms framing the Tidal Basin in front of the Jefferson Memorial. Olivia’s paintings were more abstract than her drawings, but still he could almost smell the blossoms as he studied the painting.
“This one. Definitely.”
She darted around the room, full of nervous energy, while he looked at one remarkable piece after another. He had no idea how she would ever narrow them down to the twenty the school had requested.
“Why not this one?” She held up the same scene done from the other side of the basin that included the memorial.
“I like the one that focuses only on the trees,” he said, quickly adding, “I love them both, but if you can only have one, I’d use this one.”
Rolling her lip between her teeth in a gesture he found completely adorable, she studied the options. “You’re right.”
“I like the way you say that, as if it’s a surprise that I could be right about something,” he said with a grin.
She rolled her eyes at him.
Laughing, he reached for a painting of autumn foliage. “When did you do this?”
“High school. I went camping with some friends at Skyline Drive in southern Virginia.”
“Even back then,” he said reverently. “I can’t believe you were capable of this in high school.”
“This was junior high.” She held up a beach scene. “Ocean City.”
“Amazing.” His mouth watered as he imagined the smell of fried dough and hot dogs wafting from the boardwalk. “You have to include it.”
Studying the painting as if she was seeing it for the first time, she shrugged. “I wasn’t sure.”
“It’s fantastic. It makes me want a hot dog.”
Olivia laughed. “Room service might have one.”
With his hands on her hips, he drew her closer to him. “I’m so proud of you, Liv. For taking this step, for believing in your talent enough to try.”
She combed her fingers through his hair. “I never would’ve done it if you hadn’t given me the push I needed.”
“I have a good feeling about this.”
“Are we still talking about art school?” she asked with a coy smile.
“All of it—art school, you, me, us. I have a good feeling.” Even though her gaze never wavered, her smile faded just the slightest bit. “You don’t?”
The rally attempt was just as obvious. “Of course I do.”
“But?”
She returned the painting to the pile on the table. Glancing back at him over her shoulder, she said, “No buts.”
With his heart in his throat, Cole got up and went to her. “Have you really made the leap, Liv?”
She turned to him, her eyes flashing with anger and emotion. “I’ve been to bed with you, made love with you—only you. And you can ask me that?”
Cupping her face in his hands, he held her still, keeping his own fury in check. “You’re waiting,” he said softly, “and anticipating disaster. You’re waiting for me to turn into a jerk because you don’t believe it’s possible I could love you with no conditions, no reservations.”
“Cole—”
He brought his mouth down on hers in a hard, fast, furiously possessive kiss. He felt her clutch his shirt, but she didn’t push him away. Rather, she kissed him back as if she had something to prove to him—and maybe to herself. Lifting her tight against him, their tongues tangled in a battle of wills.
By the time he pulled back from her, his heart pounded. He finally ventured a glance down at her and was appalled to find fear in her eyes. He hated that he had put it there.
Olivia looked away. “I’m, um, going to take a shower.”
“Liv,” he said, taking her arm. “I’m sorry.”
“For what?”
“I don’t know, exactly. For whatever it is that’s giving you all these doubts.”
“I love you, Cole. I have no doubt about that.” She caressed his face and reached up to kiss him before she went into the bathroom and closed the door.
He watched her go, wishing he felt more comforted by her words.
Olivia stood under the pulsing water of the shower to rinse the conditioner out of her hair. She couldn’t believe how easily he had tuned into the doubts she was working so hard to keep hidden from him. You al
ways have been a terrible actress. Her father used to tell her that she couldn’t lie to him because her face lit up like a Roman candle whenever she tried.
Turning off the shower, she reached for a towel and then the robe she had hung on the hook behind the door. She used the towel to clear the steam from the mirror and went through the motions of preparing for a night out even though her heart wasn’t in it. After she dried her hair, she opened the door to find Cole stretched out on the bed, listening to music and wearing only his bathing suit.
He’s so beautiful, she thought with a deep sigh of pleasure. And he’s mine—for now, for however long it lasts.
She bent over to press a kiss to his belly.
He sucked in a deep breath of surprise.
“Bathroom’s all yours.”
Groaning, he rolled off the bed. “Love your notification system.”
After he closed the bathroom door, she slipped into a form-fitting red dress with a plunging neckline. Jenny always said red was Olivia’s color because of her dark hair and pale complexion. She slid into two-inch heels and checked the ensemble in the mirror.
A few minutes later, Cole stepped out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped around his waist. The steam curled around him. Their eyes met in the full-length mirror. “Wow.”
“Is that your favorite word?” she asked, smiling as she secured the back of an earring.
“When it comes to you, apparently it is. Let me see the front.”
She turned around.
“Wow,” he said on a long exhale, his eyes fixed on her cleavage.
Bending down to meet his eyes, she said, “I’m up here.”
“Uh-huh.”
“Cole?”
“Uh-huh?”
“Up here, honey.” She used her fingertip on his chin to tilt his face up.
“Oh. Right.” He licked his lips. “You were saying?”
“I’m sorry about the doubts. I wish I didn’t have them.” Her hands cruised through his damp chest hair to rest on his shoulders. “I want to close my eyes and just leap. And I thought I could. I really did. But that’s not me. I wish it was, but I’m cautious and plodding and the least spontaneous person you’ll ever meet. I dream about being free and loose and easy. Maybe someday I’ll get there. For now, this is all I’m capable of.” She hesitated before she added, “If it’s not enough for you, I’ll understand if you want to—”