by Marie Force
“Not that she got from me! I’ve never been engaged to anyone. The only person I want to be engaged to is you.”
At that, Olivia snapped. “She had a key and luggage and your mail! She knew your schedule and that you’d been sick. You expect me to believe there’s nothing going on between you?”
He came over to her and put his hand on her arm. “Will you sit down? Please? Let me explain.”
She shook him off. “What can you possibly say that I’m going to believe?”
“There’s nothing going on with her. Not anymore. Not since I met you.”
“So there was?”
“Sit with me.” He led her to the sofa and sat next to her. “I should’ve told you about her,” he said with a deep sigh. “I know that. I almost did the other night when you asked me, but you’ve been so skittish and things between us were going so well. I didn’t want to give you any reason to have doubts.”
“Well,” she snorted, “that backfired on you, didn’t it?”
“Liv, she’s a total freak. She latches on to guys, and when they break up with her, she goes nuts. I didn’t find out until after I broke up with her that she’s done this before.”
Olivia wasn’t sure she wanted to know, but she couldn’t help but ask. “Done what?”
He ran a frustrated hand through his hair and released a deep, rattling breath from his congested chest. “I met her through some friends about two years ago. We started seeing each other once in a while, nothing major. I told her the same thing I told everyone else—I’m not looking for anything serious, I just want to have fun, I don’t want anyone to get hurt. For a while, things were okay. We were having a good time, you know? Then my mother got sick. Everything happened really fast. She went to the doctor because she wasn’t feeling well. They sent her to a specialist, and the next day we found out she was terminal.”
His pain was so acute, even after all this time, that Olivia wanted to reach out to him but didn’t.
“I was in a big rush to get home to Indiana. I called Natasha and asked her to deal with my fridge and the mail and stuff. I put a key under the mat for her and left town. While my mother was sick, Natasha came to Lafayette a couple of times to bring me my mail and more clothes. She always brought food, too, and was really helpful, which I appreciated. When my mother died, she came to the funeral and everything. It was all such a blur that I hardly remember her being there.
“I stayed with my dad for two weeks after the funeral, and then I had to get back to work. I’d been on a leave of absence for almost four months by then. I was numb, and I really needed to focus on work for a while. Natasha didn’t like that. She had waited months for me and wanted to get back to having fun.
“We were fighting a lot, which I didn’t need just then, so I called it off with her. She totally freaked out. I mean she went nuts, which was the first sign that something wasn’t right with her. I had just lost my mother, and she was making it about her?”
Olivia didn’t want to be moved by his story, but she was nonetheless.
“I stopped taking her calls and ignored her messages. Maybe I didn’t handle it as well as I could have, but I had other things on my mind. A couple of weeks went by without any word from her, and then she started showing up at my house at odd hours. Sometimes she was drunk, sometimes she wasn’t, but it always led to a screaming match. My neighbors called the cops once, and they gave her a warning.
“This went on for months, until I couldn’t take it anymore. I called her parents and asked them to talk to her. They were deeply distressed to hear about what’d been going on. That’s when I found out I wasn’t the first guy she’d latched onto in an unhealthy way. They got involved, and I didn’t hear from her for months. I thought I’d seen the last of her.”
“What happened?”
“When I was home for those two weeks after I got punched in the store?”
Olivia nodded.
“She showed up again, crying and pleading with me to give her another chance. I decided to play hardball this time. I told her I’d met someone else, and I was in love with her.”
Olivia gasped. “You said that before you even saw me again?”
He took her hand, held it tightly. “I already knew, Liv. You were it for me. I knew it then.”
Tears flooded her eyes, but she shook her head. “You’re only saying what you think I need to hear.”
“I’m telling you the truth!”
“How do I know?” she cried, tugging her hand free of his grip.
His teeth gritted with anger and frustration, he was clearly struggling to stay calm. “Let me finish, and then you can decide.”
She wiped at tears and buried her face in her hands. This was the most excruciating thing she’d ever been through in her life.
“The weekend we had dinner at the airport? Do you remember how I didn’t call you until Sunday night, and you thought I wasn’t going to call?”
Looking up at him, she nodded.
“I left the next morning on an eight o’clock flight to Orlando, and all I was thinking about was you and how much I’d loved being with you and kissing you. When I landed, I got an urgent message from the airline representative meeting the plane that Natasha’s father was trying to reach me. I checked my cell phone and found four incoherent messages from her and two frantic messages from him. She was barricaded in her apartment threatening to kill herself if she didn’t see me.”
Shocked, Olivia stared at him. “What did you do?”
“I wasn’t going to have that on my conscience, so I arranged for emergency backup, which did me no favors at work, I might add, and hopped on a flight back to Chicago. I spent the rest of that weekend talking her out of her apartment and into the hospital so she could get some help. Her parents thanked me profusely for coming and promised I wouldn’t hear from any of them again. The first thing I did when I left that hospital was call you.”
“Why didn’t you tell me this?”
“Olivia,” he said with an ironic smile that didn’t reach his eyes. “Have you no memory of how it was between us at first? I was so busy trying to convince you the feelings I had for you were real and genuine that I wouldn’t have dared drop this on you then. You would’ve gone running for the hills.”
She couldn’t deny he had a point. “When we were together that first weekend, you got messages from her, didn’t you? I came out of the bathroom, and you were checking your voicemail. I could tell you were troubled, but you said it was nothing.”
He nodded. “She was whacked out on something, so I couldn’t even understand what she was saying. You were upset about what had happened with your parents that day, so I wasn’t going to lay this on you then, either. The night I sent you the text message asking you to call me?” He paused. “I didn’t answer when you called because I got home to find her stretched out naked on my sofa with a red rose between her breasts.”
Olivia gasped.
“That time I’d had enough. I called the cops, went to the station, and pressed charges against her for breaking and entering. But because she had a key, the cops refused to pursue it. I finally got the key back that night, and I was sure I’d seen the last of her. It never occurred to me that she would’ve had others made. I should’ve known. I’d planned to change the lock but never got around to it since I’ve been away so much lately. Somehow she found out you were staying with me. We have a lot of friends in common, and most of them have no idea what she’s put me through. Anyone could’ve told her.”
“She knew things about me.”
“What kind of things?”
“That I live in Washington and I’m an artist.”
“Stuff I’ve mentioned to my friends.”
In a small, dead sounding voice, Olivia added, “She said you’d told her I was your sister’s friend, and I’d be staying there this week while I did a school project in Chicago.”
He hung his head with dismay. “Liv, it’s all lies. I’ve never talked to her about you, except to tell her
I’d met you and was in love with you. That’s it. I swear to God.”
“She said the boxes on the third floor were hers—”
His eyes flashed with rage. “Those boxes are things of my mother’s that my father couldn’t bear to have around the house and we couldn’t bear to part with!”
“How did she know you were sick?” she asked as the awful truth began to sneak past the block of ice.
“She called one day this week while I was sleeping. I answered the phone thinking it would be you. She must’ve heard it in my voice.” He stood, hands on his hips, eyes flashing with anger. “What else? What other lies do I need to defend myself against?”
“Are you serious? If you had told me about her, we wouldn’t even be having this conversation!”
He snorted with disbelief. “If I had told you about her, it would’ve been over between us long before now.”
Something about the way he said that made her heart shatter into a thousand pieces. “I guess we’ll never know, will we?”
“I guess not.”
“So where does that leave us?”
Picking up his coat, he put it on slowly, never taking his eyes off her. “I can’t be with someone who thinks I’m capable of this. It’s not the only time your first impulse was to think the worst of me. Either you trust me, or you don’t. Clearly, you don’t, and I’m tired of trying to convince you that you can.”
“That’s not fair!” Olivia cried, standing up to face him. “What was I supposed to think when she came waltzing in there claiming to be your fiancée?”
“Maybe you could’ve picked up the phone and asked me instead of believing her and running away! Maybe you could’ve had a little faith in me after everything we’ve shared!”
“You could’ve had some faith in me, too.”
“Well, I’m sorry for trying to protect you from something ugly after what you were going through with your family. I’m sorry I put your needs ahead of my own. I won’t make that mistake again.”
Taking her key off his ring, he put it on the counter and went to the door. With his hand resting on the doorknob, he turned back to her. “I wanted everything with you, Olivia. I wanted to marry you, have a family with you, share my life with you. I loved you that much. Congratulations. You’ve finally succeeded in talking me out of it.”
“Cole!” His name caught on the huge lump in her throat. “Please don’t leave.”
He hesitated but only for a moment. Then he opened the door and was gone.
Olivia slid to the floor and dissolved into helpless, heartbroken sobs.
The next day she woke up with the worst cold she’d ever had.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
She’d had no idea it was possible to hurt this much. Over the next month, Olivia slogged through her days without feeling, tasting, or seeing much of anything. School started up again, but for all she cared she might have been back in business school rather than pursuing her dream. Without Cole to share it with, what did it matter?
Most alarming of all, she hadn’t drawn or painted a thing since their awful confrontation. Her talent seemed to have dried up and died right along with their love.
Had she ever noticed before that every song was about heartbreak or lost love? She found herself staring into the mirror with tears rolling down her cheeks at odd hours of the day and night. Apparently, she had lost weight because her dad and Jenny were after her to eat. But nothing appealed to her, so most of the time she didn’t bother.
When she got her period, she experienced a new wave of grief for all the things that would never be. She dreamt of the dark-haired, blue-eyed babies they would’ve had together and woke up heartbroken every time.
Just over a month after their breakup, she received a box in the mail from Cole. Tearing into it, she found the painting she had been working on when Natasha arrived and ruined everything. Also in the box were her paints, brushes, and the headphones he had given her. That was it. No note, no word, nothing to tell her he missed her or was thinking of her.
She tore the painting into tiny shreds and dumped it into the garbage. Not able to bring herself to trash the headphones, she put them in the same drawer where she had stashed the diamond earrings and tried to forget they were there.
A week later, she received word through her father that her mother was anxious to see her. Olivia hadn’t seen her mother since the terrible blow-up the previous fall. Mary had been home for a while, and from what everyone had told Olivia, the change in her was quite remarkable. Regardless, Olivia had to work up the courage to go to her parents’ new home.
She almost didn’t recognize Mary when she walked into the orderly, uncluttered house. “Mom?”
Mary stood to reveal a figure that was at least forty pounds lighter than it had been the last time Olivia saw her. There was also a sparkle in her eyes that Olivia had never seen before. She knew she was staring, but she couldn’t seem to help it.
Mary held out her arms to her. “Livvie.”
Olivia stepped into her mother’s embrace and fought the urge to sob. She had cried enough lately to last a lifetime.
“It’s so good to see you,” Mary said as she released her.
“Where’s Dad?”
“Still at work. He’s made three sales this week alone. They’re thrilled with him. He’s right where he belongs, selling Cadillacs.”
“That’s great.” They sat together on the sofa. “You look wonderful. I can’t believe it.”
“I feel pretty good. I go out for a walk every day. Little by little, I’m getting there.”
“I’m happy for you.”
“But you’re terribly unhappy, aren’t you? I can see it in your eyes.”
Olivia felt her chin quiver but refused to give into the despair again. It had to stop. “I’ll survive.”
“I’m so sorry things didn’t work out for you and your pilot.” When Olivia looked up at her with surprise, Mary said, “Daddy told me. Don’t be mad at him.”
Olivia shrugged. “It was my fault. I drove Cole away by not trusting him.”
“He must’ve given you reason.”
“Not intentionally. I was kind of looking for it the whole time we were together, so when something actually happened, I thought the worst. I hurt him.”
“We all make mistakes, honey. If he loves you, he’ll see that eventually.”
She shook her head. “It’s over.”
“Dad’s worried about you. He says you haven’t been eating. I can see you’ve lost weight that you didn’t have to lose.”
“I can’t seem to work up much interest in eating or anything else, for that matter.”
“My poor baby.” She reached for Olivia, who rested against her mother’s chest like she had been doing it all her life. “May I give you some advice I probably have no right to offer?”
Desperate for some relief from the pain, Olivia nodded. “Please.”
“Don’t make the same mistake I did by letting grief destroy you. You’ve had a terrible disappointment, an awful loss, but you’ve got your whole life ahead of you and so much to look forward to.”
As a sob erupted from her throat, Olivia gave up trying to fight the tears. “Not without him. I can’t live without him.”
“Unless you can figure out a way to fix things with him, you’re going to have to.”
“He doesn’t want to fix it. I ruined it.”
“Then you have to learn from it and go on.”
“I don’t know how. It hurts so much that I wonder how it’s possible to keep breathing.”
“Livvie, I’m so sorry. I’d give anything to be able to make that pain go away for you. But since I can’t, you have to try. Focus on the things that give you joy—your art and baby Billy and school. If I had done that, if I had focused on you and your brothers rather than on the babies I’d lost, our lives would’ve been so much different. You have no idea how much I wish I had it to do over again.”
Olivia wallowed in the comfort of he
r mother’s embrace for a long time.
“Do you think you can try, honey? I can’t bear to see you so sad.”
“I suppose there’s no other choice, is there?”
Mary chuckled. “Nope.”
Olivia kissed her mother’s cheek. “Thank you.”
“I’m sorry if it’s too little too late.”
“It’s not too late. In fact, it’s just in time.”
Overcome, Mary clutched her hand. “I have no right to ask you to forgive me, but I hope, in time, maybe—”
“There’s nothing to forgive. It’s in the past now.”
Her father came home a short time later, and they talked Olivia into staying for dinner—the first real meal she could remember eating since that last breakfast at Cole’s house.
By the time she got home, she was surprised to realize she felt a little better. Seeing her mother looking so good and acting for once, well, like a mother, had done wonders for Olivia’s flagging spirits. She wandered over to her easel and picked up a pencil. Flipping it back and forth between her fingers, she studied the blank sheet of paper. After a long while, she lifted her hand to the page. Yes, it was a sketch of Cole, but at least she was drawing. She had to start somewhere.
That same night, Cole arrived home to snow after a fourteen-hour day. One weather delay after another had caused a ripple effect throughout the entire air traffic control system in the Midwest.
He cracked open a beer and flipped through the avalanche of mail that had accumulated on the counter over the last few weeks. Lately, the simplest things seemed to take more energy than he could bother to summon. Work was his primary focus, and when he wasn’t working, he had picked up a few extra Flights for Life—anything to avoid sitting at home thinking about how badly he had screwed things up with Olivia.
He should have told her about Natasha. If he had, maybe she would’ve understood that it was a situation he couldn’t control. At least then she wouldn’t have been blindsided by Natasha showing up and filling her head with lies. If Olivia had known, she could have fought back.
He had heard from his friends that when Natasha’s latest—and most dramatic—ploy to win him back had failed, she decided to move to New York. Cole felt like taking out a billboard in Times Square to warn the men in the city to be on the lookout for her.