by Marie Force
“You’ll embarrass me if you leave me here alone. This is our engagement party, Michael.”
“Our engagement is off. I can’t marry you. It’d never work. I’m sorry.”
“Michael!” she cried as he walked to the terrace stairs. “Michael, please. I’m sorry.” When he didn’t stop, she screamed, “Michael, I love you! I love you!”
Moving through the darkness, his heart raced. After he walked for several minutes, he finally left the sound of her choking sobs behind. Did I really just break up with her? His hands felt clammy, and his stomach lurched. Cutting through the golf course, he recalled making love with her the summer before in a dark corner near the sixteenth fairway.
At the Simpson’s house, he found the key they kept hidden in the lanai that covered the pool. He punched Paige’s birth date into the security system to shut off the alarm. In the great room he poured a shot of whiskey and downed it. After two more shots, the liquor finally did its job, and his heart stopped racing. Reaching up to his collar, he tore off the bow tie and went into the kitchen to use the phone.
Ten minutes later, he slammed the phone down after learning he had missed the last flight out that night and the next day was booked solid. “Shit,” he said on the way upstairs to the guest room where he shed the monkey suit and took a long shower. With a towel tied around his waist, he lay down on the bed. The whiskey and champagne had given him a buzz, and the room tilted in a nausea-inducing spin. He had ended it with Paige, and now he was trapped in her parents’ house. What a nightmare, he thought, resting his arm on his forehead.
Once the shock of the night’s events lifted, the numbness wore off and Michael began to hurt. They’d had their problems, but he did love her, and suddenly all he could think about was just how much he had once loved her.
The Sunday after they met, he went to Annapolis for brunch with her parents. Afterward, they walked through the Academy campus and along the waterfront in downtown Annapolis. On the way back, Michael stopped her on a quiet sidewalk near the state capital.
“What time did I get here?”
“At eleven. Why?”
He looked at his watch. “Three hours ago.”
“Yes,” she said, confused. “Do you need to leave?”
“No, but I can’t wait one more minute for this.” Bringing her into his arms, he kissed her with abandon. He had done more kissing in public with her than in his whole life before her.
She shuddered. “Michael.”
“I love that shudder,” he whispered in her ear. “I love knowing I can do that to you.”
“That’s not all you do to me.”
Michael’s mouth went dry. “What else?”
“My stomach flips, my hands sweat, and I—”
He tightened his hold on her. “What?”
“I ache for you,” she said shyly.
“Where?” His voice was hoarse and rough.
She held his eyes with hers and tilted her hips against his erection. “Here.”
With a fierce groan, Michael buried his face in her fragrant hair. “Come home with me. Now.”
“It’s too soon. We can’t.”
“I’ve never wanted anyone the way I want you. I haven’t slept since I met you, Paige. You’re all I think about. I can’t study. I can’t work. I can’t do anything but want you.” He steered her into an alley between two colonial houses and pressed her against one of them to kiss her again, leaving her with no doubt as to how much he wanted her. “Please,” he said, kissing her neck. “Come home with me. Let me make love to you.”
“Yes,” she panted, clinging to him. “Yes, take me home with you, Michael.”
He kissed her again and took her hand to run back to his car at her parents’ house. They were breathless by the time they got there, and he waited with impatience while she hurried in to tell her mother they were going for a drive. When she got in the car, he broke speed records driving to Georgetown. In the elevator, he was almost afraid to touch her on the way to his sixth-floor apartment.
But once the door closed behind them, they were both hit with nerves they hadn’t expected.
“Can I get you anything?”
“No, I’m fine.”
She startled when he came up behind her. “Relax, honey. I was just going to take your coat.”
“I’m sorry.” She shrugged off her coat. “I like your place.”
“Thanks.”
“You’re a neat-nik.”
He shrugged. “I guess. Law school keeps me disciplined. I’m afraid if I let things slide, it’ll snowball on me.”
She picked up one of the textbooks on his desk. “Is it as hard as they say it is?”
“Harder.”
The word hung in the air between them.
She put the book down and turned to him.
“Come here,” he said. When her cheeks flushed with color, any doubt he had that he’d fallen in love with her faded away as she took the first tentative step toward him.
He met her halfway, put his arms around her, and held her tight against him.
She turned her face up, and their mouths met in a hot and hungry frenzy.
Michael trembled at the feel of her hands on his back under his sweater. When he couldn’t bear the pain of wanting her another minute, he swept her up into his arms to carry her to his bedroom. But as he brought her down onto the bed, something flashed through her eyes that stopped him cold.
He caressed her face. “Paige? What is it? Are you afraid?”
“A little.”
“Of me?”
“No,” she whispered.
“Then what?”
“This. All of it.”
“Why?”
She looked away from him, and his stomach knotted with understanding. With a finger to her chin, he brought her back to him. “Is this your first time?”
Again her cheeks flushed with color as she nodded.
“Oh.” He fell onto his back when all the oxygen seemed to leave his body in one big rush. “Oh God, and I’ve been like a lunatic with you. Jesus.”
“You haven’t. Don’t say that, Michael.”
Seeing that she was on the verge of tears, he turned onto his side and put an arm around her.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t realize. The way you kiss me—”
She ran a finger over his lips. “I’ve never kissed anyone quite the way I kiss you. It’s like I’m someone else with you.”
And there it was again, the dizzying rush of lust that obliterated every rational thought in his mind.
“How come you’ve never done this before? Surely you’ve had boyfriends. Lots of them.”
She shrugged. “I’ve never loved any of them.”
With his heart in his throat, he asked, “And do you love me?”
“Yes.” Her eyes full of wonder, she reached up to caress his face. “I really do.”
“I can’t believe it, but I love you, too. And I want you so much.” He kissed each of her fingers. “But not until you’re ready. I don’t want you to be afraid.”
“I’m ready, Michael. I want it to be with you. Now.”
“You’re sure?” His heart pounded as he worked to summon the tenderness he would need for her.
Her eager hands moved on his chest under his sweater. “Show me. Show me what to do.”
He undressed her slowly, taking the time to worship each new discovery. Their clothes were soon in a pile on the floor. Her breathless sighs and gasps were driving him mad, but he held back the need to devour. Sliding his fingers through the dampness between her legs, he carefully prepared her and then focused on the spot that throbbed for him.
She came with a shriek that startled both of them.
Gasping, she clutched his shoulders. “God,” she whispered, aftershocks rippling through her.
With a chuckle, he said, “You’re a screamer.”
“That’s news to me.”
He turned away from her to roll on a condom. “I don’t want to hurt you.”
/> “I hear it’s only bad for a second.”
“Stop me if it hurts.”
She tensed as he pushed into her.
“Try to relax, honey,” he whispered.
When she wrapped her legs around him, he again struggled to hold back urges he’d never felt quite so strongly before.
She, on the other hand, held nothing back as she moved beneath him. Before long her breathing became more frantic. “Oh!” she cried. “Oh, Michael, don’t stop!” She came again with another scream that snapped his control and sent him into a devastating release that left him completely drained.
Michael ached when he thought of that first time with her. In the months leading up to graduation, they spent every minute they could in his bed where her eagerness more than made up for her lack of experience. It had been madness and passion and lust. And love. Definitely love. But the madness never really abated.
They hit the first of many bumps the weekend of graduation when Admiral Simpson announced he had arranged a job for Michael with his friend, the state’s attorney in Baltimore City. Michael had been furious, and the moment he was alone in the car with Paige he told her so.
“I just wanted you to stay here, so when Daddy told me about the job in Baltimore it seemed like the perfect solution.”
“Damn it, Paige, don’t give me that pout face. It might work with ‘Daddy,’ but it does nothing for me.”
With a coy smile, she ran a hand up his leg. “It doesn’t do anything for you?”
He pushed her hand away. “Stop.” He’d fumed about the interference for a week before he took the job, which was the only offer he received in the capital area. Truth be told, he wanted to stay near Paige as much as she wanted to keep him close. But the Admiral’s meddling rankled, especially since he never missed an opportunity to remind Michael of how he got his job.
The next bump occurred at graduation when Michael’s mother and sisters took an immediate and intense dislike to Paige—an opinion they never wavered from in four years. “She’s not for you,” his mother had said.
As Michael fell into a restless sleep in the Simpson’s guestroom, he heard his mother saying, “She’s not for you.” He dreamed of Paige, and as usual, they were making love. Her hands and lips were everywhere on his fevered skin. Then he was inside her, moving with the abandon that overtook him every time they made love. Only when he reached an explosive climax did he realize he wasn’t dreaming. He pulled out of her as if he’d been scalded and rolled away. “What the fuck? What are you doing?”
“I love you.” Sobs rattled her petite frame. “I just needed you so much.”
“Jesus Christ, I was asleep.” Another realization settled in on him. “No condom, Paige! What the fuck?” They had never taken any chances in that department. His head spun, and his stomach lurched from the booze.
She reached for him. “Michael, please. Talk to me.”
He pulled away from her, got up, went into the bathroom, and slammed the door behind him. Goddamn it! Splashing cold water on his face, he tried to contain the urge to choke the life out of her. When he came out of the bathroom, he pulled on sweats.
“Aren’t you going to talk to me?” she asked between sobs.
“I’m all done talking. You need to go to your room.”
“You’re not breaking off this engagement, Michael.”
“I’m quite certain I already did.”
“You can’t!” she wailed.
He picked up her robe off the floor and threw it at her. “Get dressed. Right now. I’ve had enough for tonight.” He watched her work up a head of steam as she pulled on the robe.
“I don’t know who you think you’re dealing with, but you are not just walking away from me after four years like I mean nothing to you.”
“I know exactly who I’m dealing with—a spoiled, pampered brat. You’re not going to push me around or push me into a job I don’t want. And you’re certainly not going to push me into a marriage I no longer want.”
She slapped his face. Hard. “You son of a bitch.”
His hand rolled into a fist at his side. “Get out,” he said in a low tone that left no room for negotiation. “Get the fuck out!”
After she slammed the door behind her, he did something he should have done earlier: he reached for his cell phone to call a cab. He threw on clothes, packed his bag, and went down the stairs into the quiet house.
Admiral Simpson appeared in the darkness. “Going somewhere, Michael?”
“I’m going home.”
“Are you sure you want to do that?”
“I’m positive.”
“So when Paige said you’d called off the engagement she wasn’t being dramatic?”
“No.”
“You might want to think twice about that.”
“Are you threatening me?”
“Of course not. I’m just wondering if you’re seeing the big picture.”
“And what would that be?”
“What will Tom Houlihan think of having a man on his team who doesn’t keep his promises? Have you thought about that?”
Michael chuckled. “You know what? I don’t give a rat’s ass what Tom Houlihan thinks about my private life. Feel free to give him a call.”
The cab driver tooted the horn.
The Admiral gave Michael the steely stare that had intimidated legions of sailors, but it had no effect on him. Not anymore. “You’re not the man I thought you were, Michael.”
“That’s funny because you’re exactly the man I thought you were. Take care, Admiral.”
Michael checked into a hotel near the airport and fell into a deep, dreamless sleep. He woke up late the next morning, the events of the day before replaying in his mind. And then he smiled. He was free—of Paige and her parents and their endless manipulation. Imagining his mother dancing a jig at the news of his broken engagement, he laughed.
Chapter Eight
On the way to the airport on Sunday afternoon, Jeremy and Juliana stopped for seafood in Jacksonville Beach. The day was warm so they sat on a deck overlooking the ocean.
After they ate, Jeremy reached across the table for her hand. “What are we going to do, babe?”
Juliana took a long sip of her wine, put the glass down on the table, and met his gaze. “We’re breaking up. For now.” She had promised herself she wouldn’t cry.
“What?” he asked, startled.
“Three months. We won’t talk to or see each other for three months.”
“Juliana—”
“I’ve thought about what you said.”
“I want you to forget what I said.”
“I can’t. And we can’t go forward with it between us. You were right about something yesterday.”
“What’s that?”
“Neither of us has ever been with anyone else, so how can we know for sure that what we have will last?”
“It’s lasted ten years. That has to count for something.”
She squeezed his hand. “It does. But like you said, how do we even know that we’re having good sex?”
He snorted. “You can say that after last night?”
“I’m just agreeing with you, Jer. That’s all.”
“Why three months? Why not one or two?”
“Because anything less wouldn’t be enough time.”
He thought it over for a moment. “Supposing I agree to this, what are the rules?”
“No rules. We’re both single and can do whatever we want.”
He raised an eyebrow. “But you’re not going to, you know—”
“You can, but I can’t?”
“You said you never wanted to.”
“That was before I knew you did.”
He dropped her hand. “This is bullshit. I’m not agreeing to this.”
“Then we’re done. I won’t spend my life with you wondering if you’re unsatisfied or unfulfilled, or worse yet, unfaithful. I watched my father cheat on my mother for years before he finally left. I won�
��t live like that.”
“So either we break up for three months or we break up forever? That’s a hell of a choice.”
“It’s up to you.”
“What would happen at the end of the three months?”
“We either end it for good or we get married.”
“And would we discuss what happened during the three months?”
“Never.”
With a deep sigh, he sat back in his chair. “This is a pretty high-stakes game you’re playing here, Jule.”
“It’s no game, and it’s the hardest thing I’ve ever done. I can’t imagine a day without talking to you, let alone ninety of them. But I don’t know what else to do.” Her stiff resolve crumbled, and her eyes filled.
“This is all my fault.” His face tightened with tension. “The idea of you with someone else…”
“I know.”
He checked his watch. “Damn it. We have to go.”
“So what do you say?”
“You haven’t given me much of a choice. Since I’m not prepared to lose you forever, I guess we’re breaking up for three months.” He threw some cash on the table and guided her from the restaurant.
They drove to the airport in silence, but he kept a firm grip on her hand. He walked her in, and when he couldn’t go any further with her, he folded her into a long hug. “I’ll miss you. Every minute of every day, I’ll be thinking about you.”
The huge lump in her throat made it impossible for her to speak so she just nodded.
“Three months,” he said with tears in his eyes. “Not one minute more.”
“Okay.”
“I’ll call you three months from today.”
She nodded.
He tilted her chin up and kissed her with a fierce, possessive passion that left her breathless and then despondent when it ended. “Don’t go falling in love with someone else.”
“I won’t. I couldn’t. Don’t you, either.”
“Never,” he said, letting her go with great reluctance.
“Three months,” she said one last time as she moved into the security line.
“Not one minute more.” He watched her until she was through to the other side.
She waved, blew a kiss, and walked away.