by Marie Force
Ryan stepped into the room. “He is small.”
“Compared to you, he’s a giant.”
“So then why aren’t you sleeping with him?”
She gasped. “You were listening to us?”
“I overheard by accident.”
“You disgust me.”
“Does that mean you’ve already forgotten about me saving your life? I thought my heroics would buy me at least one day of sweetness. I feel cheated.”
She glared at him.
He pushed his hands into the pockets of his jeans. His strapping presence made the small room feel crowded. “So why aren’t you sleeping with him?”
“That’s none of your business.”
“I’ll bet I know why,” he said with a cocky grin.
“I can’t wait to hear this.”
“You’re afraid you’ll be disappointed after me, and it’ll be better if you’re married when that happens.”
Susannah fought to keep the indignation off her face. She wouldn’t give him the satisfaction. “I’m afraid you’re way off, but I wouldn’t even try to explain my relationship with him to you. We both know you’re incapable of real intimacy. All we ever had was sex, not intimacy.”
His eyes flashed with anger. “That’s not true,” he said, stepping closer to her bed. “It was more than that, and you know it.” When his ribs bumped into the bedrail his face went chalky and sweat beaded on his upper lip. He reached out for something to hold on to and stumbled when he came up empty.
“Ryan! What’s wrong?” When he didn’t answer her, she called for a nurse. “Something’s wrong with him!”
The nurse eased Ryan into a chair and checked his pulse. “How did he get hurt?”
Susannah realized she was dealing with one of the three people currently alive in Denver who had no idea who Ryan Sanderson was. “Playing football. Three broken ribs and a concussion four days ago.”
The nurse, who was old enough to be his mother, clucked her tongue with disapproval as she shone a flashlight in his eyes. “He needs to lay down.” She put her arm around Ryan. “Come on, big fella.”
He didn’t resist when the nurse helped him up and led him to the other bed in the room.
“Do you know if he’s taken anything for the pain today?”
“No, I don’t.” Susannah was more worried about him than she cared to admit. “I wasn’t with him earlier. Is he all right?”
“He will be. He probably just overdid it. Concussions can make you feel really sick if you’re not careful.”
“He saved my life earlier,” Susannah said softy, her eyes fixed on Ryan in the next bed.
“I’d say that probably qualifies as overdoing it,” the nurse said with a smile. “I’ll send the doctor in to check on both of you in a few minutes.” She glanced at Ryan who appeared to be asleep. “He sure is a handsome devil. You’re a lucky lady.”
“Yes,” Susannah whispered after the nurse had left the room. “Lucky me.”
“You’re both going to have to take it easy for a few days,” the doctor was saying.
Susannah was still focused on Ryan’s face, which had yet to regain any of its usual robust color.
“You’ve had a bad knock to the head, and broken ribs are nothing to mess around with. If you don’t want me to admit you, you’ll have to promise me you’ll do nothing more strenuous than take a leak for the next five or six days. You got me?”
“Uh-huh,” Ryan said.
“You’re not convincing me. I don’t care who you are, I’ve got a bed with your name on it upstairs if I don’t think you’re taking me seriously.”
“I got you, Doc. I’ll lay low.”
Somewhat mollified, the doctor turned to Susannah. “You should feel much better by tomorrow, but you’ve had a shock to your system. You need to take it easy, too.”
“I’ll make sure she does,” Ryan said.
The doctor raised an eyebrow. “And how do you plan to do that when you’re going to be flat on your back or in the hospital?”
“We’re going to our place in Breckenridge tomorrow morning,” Ryan said.
“No, we’re not,” Susannah said.
“Yes, we are. It’s just what we need: no phones, no visitors, no distractions.”
“That sounds perfect,” the doctor said, seeming pleased his message had gotten through to Ryan. “How will you get there?”
“I’ll get a couple of my buddies to drive us.”
“Have a blast.” Susannah folded her arms across her chest. “I’m not going.”
Ryan dug his cell phone out of his pocket. “We’ll see about that.”
The doctor watched them with amusement, which added to Susannah’s irritation.
“Go ahead and call your damned lawyer. I don’t care.”
“If that’s what you want.” Ryan pressed the number on his speed dial. “This is Ryan Sanderson. May I speak to Terry, please?”
Susannah fixated on a water stain in one of the ceiling tiles as her heart pounded. He won’t do it.
“Hey, Terry,” Ryan said. “A little better. Yeah, it was quite a hit, but we won, so it was worth it.”
Susannah rolled her eyes. Worth a concussion and three broken ribs? Yes, to Ryan it would be. All he cared about was football.
“Listen, the reason I’m calling is I’ve decided to put the brakes on the divorce.”
The doctor signed Susannah’s discharge paperwork, handed it to her, and left the room.
“I know we’re due back in court in nine days, but I’ve changed my mind.” Ryan listened for a moment and then glanced over at Susannah. “She’s coming around.”
Susannah got out of bed and grabbed the phone from Ryan. “I’m not coming around, Terry,” she said, ending the call.
“Thought I was bluffing, didn’t you, darlin’?” he asked with the lazy smile that made her want to smack him. Or kiss him. No, definitely smack.
“You are bluffing. You’re not going to stop the divorce.”
“The judge knew what he was doing when he made us wait six more months before making it final. He could see we weren’t finished with each other, yet.”
“I am finished! What do I have to do to convince you of that?”
“Spend the next few days with me in Breckenridge. You heard the doctor. I need to take it easy, and so do you. We won’t get a minute’s peace if we stay in town. The phone will be ringing nonstop, people coming by—”
“And poisoning me...”
“Susie! That’s not nice. You know it was an accident.”
She sighed as she got up from the bed and slipped on her shoes. “I can’t leave town right now. I’ve got the ball next weekend and a wedding to plan. I’m not going.”
“I’ll have you back in plenty of time for the ball, and you are going. Unless you want me to call Terry back...”
“What am I supposed to tell Henry?”
“I’m sure you’ll think of something.” Ryan attempted to push himself into a sitting position.
Without thinking, Susannah reached out to help him up.
He played the advantage by putting his arms around her. Tipping his head, he kissed her softly and then caressed her cheek. “You’ve got your color back.”
Amazed by his audacity and her reaction to the gentle kiss, Susannah could only stare at him. Why does he have such an effect on me, and why do my knees still go weak when he looks at me that way? I hate that! Tugging herself free of him, she left the room.
Bernie and Darling were pacing in the waiting room.
“Susie!” Darling rushed over to her. “Are you all right?”
“I’m fine.” Touched by the genuine concern on his face, she hugged him. “It was an accident. I don’t want you to give it another thought.”
“I’m so sorry. I had no idea you were allergic.”
“You couldn’t have known.” The hulking football players had captured the attention of everyone in the waiting room. “Let’s forget about it, okay?”
“Um, yeah, sure,” Darling said. “Give me a year or two.”
Susannah laughed and tipped her cheek to receive a kiss from Bernie.
“You look a lot better,” Bernie said as Ryan joined them, sending a buzz through the waiting room. “But he looks like hell—even worse than before. What happened?”
“I guess I ‘overdid it’ today.” Ryan shrugged. “I need a favor, you guys.”
“Anything,” Darling said with an earnestness that amused the others.
“Can you give us a lift to Breckenridge in the morning? One of you can drive my car and the other can follow us so you can get back.”
“No problem,” Bernie said, draping his coat over Susannah’s shoulders. “Come on. Let’s get you two home.”
When Ryan tried to put his arm around her, Susannah scurried out of his reach. She was going to have to think fast because there was no way she could go to that cabin with him. He wasn’t only trying to escape the city by making a plan to go to Breckenridge. No, he knew the cabin would remind her of a time when she had been happy with him, and he hoped it would lower her defenses. She could not let that happen.
As they rode home in the backseat of Bernie’s Mercedes SUV, Susannah puzzled over the situation from every angle. The call Ryan had made to his attorney had rattled her. Suddenly, she was afraid to push him. He had nothing to lose by stopping their divorce, but she did. She had everything to lose—Henry, her sanity, and the peaceful, uncomplicated life she had built for herself over the last year. Her stomach twisted with anxiety when she looked up to find Ryan watching her with amusement dancing in his eyes. In that moment, she hated him for what he was putting her through and for the feelings he was resurrecting in her—feelings she had long ago put away and tried her best to forget.
When their eyes met, her heart fluttered with the startling realization that he and the judge were right about one thing: they weren’t finished with each other.
The next morning, Susannah fumed in the passenger seat of Ryan’s Escalade as Bernie drove them west to the cabin in Breckenridge. Darling followed in his four-wheel-drive truck. Snow had begun to fall as they left their upscale Denver neighborhood of Cherry Hills, and the bleary day was a good match for her mood.
Ryan, who was stretched out in the back seat, talked to Bernie while Susannah relived the huge fight she’d had with Henry over the trip to the cabin. She ignored Ryan’s repeated efforts to draw her into the conversation, preferring to stew about the mess he was making of her new, well-ordered existence.
He has no right to make me go somewhere I don’t want to go! She’d had to turn over the final plans for the Black & White Ball to her committee, telling them she had been called out of town unexpectedly. That was putting it mildly! But she couldn’t very well tell them she’d been blackmailed and virtually kidnapped by her famous ex-husband. A tidbit like that would stir up years of gossip within her social circle. It was bad enough her trip to the hospital had been mentioned in that morning’s Denver Post—and in the sports section, no less. What an insult! She was only news because she was linked to him.
Her day had begun with an irate call from Henry who hadn’t appreciated seeing his fiancée referred to in the paper as the wife of Denver Mavericks Quarterback Ryan Sanderson. “What am I supposed to tell my parents and friends when they see that?” Henry had asked.
Susannah had been unable to give him a satisfactory answer to that question because there wasn’t one.
Henry had gone from furious to ballistic when she told him Ryan was insisting on going to the cabin for the next few days.
“I won’t stand for this, Susannah.”
“What am I supposed to do? If I don’t go, he’ll stop the divorce, and there goes our wedding. What choice do I have?”
“I’m beginning to think you’re enjoying this.”
“Enjoying what?”
“Having two men fighting over you.”
She had hung up on him, and when he’d called back ten minutes later she had ignored the call. At the moment, she had nothing to say to either of them. She was sick to death of all men and their boundless egos.
“I want to ski,” Ryan moaned as Bernie drove through the busy town of Breckenridge. “I wait all year for the off season so I can ski my ass off. But not this year.”
“I know,” Bernie agreed. “What a bummer. Hopefully, you’ll be back on the slopes in a couple of weeks. In the meantime, don’t forget you’re supposed to be taking it easy.”
“Yes, Dad,” Ryan said with a chuckle.
When they arrived at the sprawling log cabin set into the foothills of the mountain, Bernie and Darling wouldn’t let Ryan or Susannah carry a thing.
“Put my stuff in the guest room, please,” Susannah said to Darling.
With a nervous glance at Ryan, Darling reached for her bags.
Susannah took a deep breath before she walked into the house they had bought right after Ryan had signed with the Mavs. She crossed the threshold and was hit with a hundred memories and feelings and scents that, all combined, stirred her to tears. Oh, he knew what he was doing bringing me here. Since Ryan had been living between the cabin and an apartment in the city since their separation, she was surprised to find none of the usual chaos she associated with him. In fact, the place was immaculate. The sound of heavy footsteps on the front porch had her wiping away the tears.
Darling and Bernie came in carrying her suitcases and Ryan’s ratty Mavericks duffel bag. They put the bags in the bedrooms and rejoined Susannah and Ryan in the rustic living room.
Bernie went out to the porch and returned with an armload of wood that he carried to the stone fireplace. A few minutes later, he had a roaring fire going. “We’re going to hit the grocery store to get you stocked up,” Bernie said. “Any special requests?”
Susannah shook her head.
“She’ll want at least a case of Diet Coke,” Ryan said. “Plus Total Raisin Bran, bananas, French vanilla ice cream, anything that might go in a salad.” He scratched at the stubble on his chin as he studied Susannah. “Oh yeah, tuna, Triscuits, and cottage cheese, too.”
She didn’t want to be impressed by his memory or moved by his attentiveness, but she was both.
“You got that, Bern?” Darling asked.
“I think so.”
After they left, Susannah went into the guestroom to unpack, still fuming that she was even there.
“Are you ever going to talk to me again?” Ryan asked.
She turned to find him leaning against the doorframe. “What do you want me to say? You seem to have all the answers.”
“If I had all the answers, we never would’ve landed in divorce court in the first place.”
“I want to make one thing perfectly clear, Ryan. I’m only here because you bullied me into coming.”
“Bullied is kind of a strong word. Not as bad as blackmailed, but—”
She held up her hand to stop him. “I don’t want to be here. I don’t want to be with you. I want to be with Henry. So I’ll do my time until either you decide you’ve had enough of this silly charade or until our day in court, whichever comes first. Is there any part of that you don’t understand?”
“No, I think I got it. Even a dumb jock can understand plain English.”
Susannah hated that the hurt radiating from him bothered her.
“Since I have no plans to give up on us any time soon, do you think we could be civil to each other?”
She shrugged. “I’m not feeling very civil at the moment.”
“I love you, Susie.”
She rolled her eyes. “Save it.”
“I haven’t given you much reason to believe it, but it’s true. I love you. I’ve loved you for so long I can’t imagine ever not loving you. When I saw you struggling to breathe yesterday, I was reminded again that a life without you is no life at all. So you don’t have to be civil. You don’t even have to talk to me, but I’m going to talk to you. I hope you’ll listen.”
After he walked away, she sat on the bed and wept.
Chapter 6
Bernie and Darling returned from the grocery store with enough food to feed ten people. They put everything away and brought in several days’ worth of firewood from the pile outside. The four of them shared a quiet lunch during which the tension between Ryan and Susannah was palpable.
To fill the awkward silences, Bernie and Darling talked about their upcoming trip to the White House where the president would welcome the Super Bowl winners.
“Doesn’t that usually happen later?” Susannah asked.
“This president is a huge Mavs fan,” Darling explained. “He cleared his schedule so that he could see us before we scatter for the off-season.”
As they prepared to return to Denver, Bernie asked for a moment alone with Susannah.
She tugged on her coat and went out to the porch with him.
“Are you all right?” he asked.
“I will be.”
Bernie glanced at Ryan through the window. “He’s my best friend, and I love him like a brother.” Bernie brought his eyes back to Susannah. “But I love you, too. If you don’t want to be here with him, just say the word, and I’ll take you home.”
“He seems quite determined to play out this last-minute rescue scenario,” Susannah said with a sigh. “I’m not going back to him. He’s going to need you when that finally sinks in.”
“I know he can be a thick-headed idiot at times—hell, so can I. Just ask Mary Jane. But he’s one of the good guys, Susie. I’d trust him with my life, with my kids’ lives. And if there’s anything about him I’m sure of it’s that he loves you. You guys had a tough break, but that doesn’t mean—”
Desperate to stop the direction the conversation was taking, she went up on tiptoes to kiss his cheek. “I appreciate what you’re trying to do, Bern. I really do. Thank you for caring, but I’m going to stay and play it out. He seems to need the closure.”
“What about what you need?”
Her face lifted into an ironic smile. “It’s never really been about what I need, has it?”
“If you change your mind and want to go home, call me, and I’ll come get you. Day or night. If I’m in Washington, I’ll send someone else.”