Find Me

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Find Me Page 28

by Tory Jane


  Charlie, awake from his nap, shuffles into the kitchen, clutching Pete.

  “Party?”

  Scooping him up, I dance him around the kitchen. “It is a party. Daddy and I have something to tell you.”

  “Bella.” He cups my cheeks and kisses me. “I know.”

  “What do you know?”

  “I keep secret.”

  “Oh, really? I hope you don’t keep too many secrets. What secret do you know?”

  “We're a family. Daddy ask to marry you.”

  “And how do you think I responded?”

  His face falls. “Bella? Say yes? Please?”

  “Oh, Charlie. Don't worry. Of course, I said yes. I can't wait to be part of your family.”

  He pats my cheek and smiles. “Silly Bella. Be my Mama?”

  “Yes. Will you be my son? I love you, Charlie. To the furthest star and back.”

  Jack joins us and gathers us into a hug. “So, what do you think, buddy?”

  He puts our hands on his heart. “Happy, Daddy. So, so happy.”

  He squirms out of our arms and is off, running through the house.

  My mother, Julia, and Wallace lure me out to the piazza. They hand me a champagne flute and a cigarette. I smoke with my left hand to flaunt the huge freakin' diamond on my finger. Then I see what they've done. Gift bags line the table.

  “What did y’all do?”

  “Darling, we know you lost everything. We wanted to give you some things to help you feel more like yourself.” Mama hugs me and then taps my nose ring. “Good girl.”

  “Y’all, this is too much. Thank you.”

  Wallace starts handing me bags. “Girl, if you’re not going to open them, I’m going to start ripping into them. I want to see everything.”

  There is a massive bag from Sephora filled to the brim with all of my favorite products and make-up. Moisturizers, hair product, eyeliner, mascara, and more.

  “Oh my God, I love you guys. Who would think I’d miss mascara as much as I have.”

  Julia hands me a beautiful bag, and I know what's inside. “I know Allison bought you some nice, sensible white cotton undies, but as you taught me, every woman needs pretty things.”

  I look at Julia and raise my eyebrow. I’m not sure if I’m supposed to open them now.

  My mother, who surprises me every day now, says impatiently, “Well, show us. Stop being such a prude. Do you think your mother wears big white granny panties? Hell, no.”

  Mama. I want to hear the story of her life. What a fabulous, feisty woman she is.

  “I swear you surprise me more every day, Mama.” I pull out beautiful lace panties and bralettes. Ivory and black silk nightgowns, which are supple and slinky. A magnificent black silk robe edged with lace, which must have cost a fortune.

  “Julia, this is too much. They’re gorgeous. Thank you.”

  “Thank your Mama, too. She helped.”

  I kiss them both. “Thank you, Mama. Do you mind if I don’t tell Jack you picked these out?”

  “Shouldn’t my son-in-law know I have great taste in lingerie?” she laughs.

  We all shout, “No.” Even if it’s true. The four of us are giggling and cackling like a group of old hens.

  Wallace hands me the final two bags. They are huge and spilling over with my favorite styles from Anthropologie. They must have bought out the store.

  I hug them to me. “Clothes. I know I’m a shallow, vain woman. I’m going to feel like myself again. I love them. I cannot thank y’all enough.”

  Wallace smiles and squeezes my hand. “As a new convert to the world of fashion—once again, thanks to Annabelle—I completely understand what you mean. You are neither vain nor shallow. You have a style that makes you feel good about yourself. You've taught both Julia and me what that means. You have made us feel beautiful and special. It was our pleasure to be able to do the same for you.”

  My mother adds, “We had a blast. While Jack took you to see the house, we went on a shopping spree. It’s fun to shop for you. You tiny little thing, you look great in everything.

  “I have one more thing for you.” She pulls out a bag from Cos Bar, and I'm so excited I can barely contain myself. Inside is my favorite Tom Ford perfume and lotion. She splurged on the big bottle. This stuff costs as much as gold.

  I whoop with joy and hug my mother. I rip open the packaging and spritz it on, and once again, I smell like Belle.

  I’m a kid in a candy shop. Wrapping a scarf around my neck, stacking bangles up my arm.

  “This is amazing. You three are the best. This is the kindest, most thoughtful thing you could do.”

  “You do have Jack to thank, as well. He took pictures of everything in your bathroom so we would know what products to buy. He wanted you to feel like yourself again.”

  “He's awesome. Can you believe this ring? It's perfect. I can't believe it. I'm engaged. Me? This is the best engagement party ever. I love y’all so much. Thank you.”

  “We love you, too, darling. We’re so happy for you. I always told you the two of you would be together.”

  “I’m sorry, I almost forgot.” Julia says as she pulls out my iPod and earbuds, and an envelope filled with the pictures and letters I kept with my baby.

  It's too much. I start crying, tears streaming down my face. “I don't deserve all of this. It's too much. I've behaved so poorly these past years. I've hurt you all. I'm sorry. Thank you.”

  “You’ve also brought us great joy and kindness. It’s time to close the door on the dark days. This is about new beginnings.” Julia smiles her new glowing grin. She understands new beginnings.

  “Cheers to that,” my mother, exclaims. We clink glasses. “Now, someone give me a cigarette.”

  Jack steps out to join us. “Look at all of this loot. Some lucky woman made out like a bandit, today.”

  I leap into his arms. “I am that lucky woman.”

  “I know you. You smell like Bella Belle. Hmm…I adore that scent.”

  “Look at everything they did. It’s amazing. Julia found my music and the pictures and letters I kept with Jack, Jr.”

  I ask, “Did y'all go to the carriage house with Julia? Shocking, wasn’t it?”

  Julia shudders. “Belle, I couldn’t believe it. Hearing about it is one thing, but seeing it? Those kids were savages.”

  My mother nods her head. “What happened to smoking weed, listening to music and chilling out? I don’t know what kind of drugs they were on, but I don’t want to be around anyone in that state.”

  “Mama, what do you know about smoking weed, listening to music and chilling out?”

  She winks at me. “The good news is that we think we can salvage some of your favorite pieces. The sofa and the two chairs in the living room can be re-stuffed and reupholstered. There wasn't any damage to the wood or the frames. Most of the artwork that you've collected is in good shape. Your art glass survived. Your fancy coffee maker works.

  “We’re working with movers to clean the house out and move the pieces that we can save. I’ll arrange for the movers to take the furniture to the woman that does my upholstery work. Where would you like to put the other things?”

  Jack wraps his arms around me. “I’m happy to say we can move them to the house in Hampton Park.”

  “I loved it. I cannot wait to move in. I need more help from y’all, though. Will you help me pick out paints and fixtures? It’s huge. We’re going to need everything.

  “Are you kidding? Let’s go now,” my mother laughs. “You know I love a project like that.”

  “I was hoping you’d say that. I took pictures on my phone. I need to show them to you. Jack and Ben have done an extraordinary job. It’s a real home.

  “One thing I'd like to do. I want to go to the storage facility. We can trash most of it. I think we're beyond old mattresses on the floor. There are a few things, like Christmas decorations. What I want most is the first piece of furniture he made for us. That beautiful farm table. It would b
e perfect for the kitchen or the screened in porch.

  “We’ll be hosting dinner parties again in no time.”

  I lean back against Jack and sigh. I feel his whole body stiffen and hear a collective, sharp intake of breath.

  Sofia is strolling towards us with a handsome, impeccably dressed man, the infamous Signor Rossi.

  Once again, I look like a child playing dress-up again and she is the most elegant woman I’ve ever seen. At least I smell expensive.

  Jack murmurs to my mother, “Lillian, will you please get my father?”

  She and Julia both stand. “I’m sorry, Belle. I wish I could stay, but I need to get ready for my event tonight.” She hugs me and whispers, “Stay strong. You’re tougher and way cooler. I love you.” She follows my mother into the house.

  Sofia raises her hands and attempts a smile. “Please. I come in peace.”

  Frasier and my mother step out and stand beside Jack and me. Wallace sits and watches. She picks up her champagne and lights a cigarette.

  “Excuse us for interrupting your festivities. Please, let me introduce my husband, Allesandro Rossi.”

  Frasier shakes his hand and nods, “Signor Rossi.”

  The rest of us remain silent.

  “I came to apologize for my behavior last week. What I said, what I did…it was unacceptable. I’m sorry I hurt you.

  “Jack? I was unbearable during our last year together. You tried and you did your best. I regret my behavior. I will never forgive myself for abandoning our son and you. You may not believe it, but I have grieved for the loss of both of you.

  “When we planned our trip to meet with the Mayor, I searched for you on the internet hoping you had returned to Charleston. I could not resist seeing you both. Grief has a way of making one pazza di gelosia. Insanely jealous. Allesandro has helped me understand that now.

  “Charlie is a beautiful boy. You have been a good father since the moment you held him. I failed you both. I failed myself. I have to accept that and live with it. I hope that Allesandro and I will have a child of our own.

  “Jack, I will not interfere. I know that I cannot be a mother to Carlo.” She dabs at her eyes with a handkerchief. “I will not fight for custody of him. He is your son. And hers.” She glances at me.

  “Please? Tell him about me one day?” She hands Jack a photograph. It is a picture of them, smiling and embracing.

  “Please tell him there was a time when I loved his father and him. I couldn’t be a mother. I’m sorry. I knew your heart belonged to another.”

  She looks at me. “Annabelle. I have heard about your losses. I promise you, I had no part in what Cecelia did to your house and your boutique. Disgusting.

  “I used Cecelia to help me find Jack and Charlie and to learn about you. I'm sorry to say that I gave her money. I was unaware of her filthy drug use.” She shudders in disgust. “You have suffered, and for that I am sorry.

  Her voice cracks. “Promise me that you will love and care for our son.”

  Surprising everyone, including myself, I rush to her and throw my arms around her. I can't help myself. I understand grief. I know how it can make you insane. I want to comfort her.

  She hesitates, and then clings to me. Tears are trickling down her cheeks now.

  “I promise you, Sofia. I will love him as if he were my own. Believe me; I understand grief. I too lost a son. Grazie.”

  She kisses me on each cheek. “Bella Belle, he is yours already. I saw that when I was here. I apologize for being a jealous bitch. It was painful to realize the consequences of my actions. I was wrong. Please accept my apology.”

  I nod and step back, tears filling my eyes. I cannot feel guilty. I will not allow myself to feel guilty. Yet, I feel guilty.

  “Thank you, Sofia. Please. Wait here for a moment.” Jack walks into the house. What is he doing? He’s not bringing Charlie out, is he?

  No. Thank god. He returns with a framed photo of Charlie and the letters he wrote over the years with pictures of Charlie.

  “Would you like these, now? I believe my father has Signor Rossi's contact information. May I send you pictures? Or would that be too painful?”

  Sofia hesitates. She looks to Allesandro. Is she seeking permission?

  He nods. “You should have them, amore mio.”

  “Grazie, Jack.” She hugs them to herself and then places them in that Prada pocketbook I covet.

  “Thank you for hearing me. We will be flying back to Italy tomorrow. I hope you will forgive me. Good-bye.”

  Allesandro takes her arm and leads her down the piazza. They do not look back.

  Cheers!

  Frasier is the first to speak. “I’ll get another bottle of champagne. I think we deserve to celebrate. That chapter appears to be closed.”

  Wallace relaxes and offers, “Does anyone else think that Allesandro is into BDSM and he’s both the D and the S?”

  My mother and I giggle.

  Frasier responds, “Oh, no question he is dominant. A sadist? Who knows?”

  Wallace blushes and gulps her champagne. She hisses, “How does Mr. Cliff know what BDSM means?”

  “You kids act as if we’re a hundred years old. We know things. Allison and I read the Fifty Shades of Grey books.”

  “So, which letters are you, Mrs. Tucker?”

  My mother laughs. “Touché, my dear.” They clink champagne flutes.

  Allison and my father join us. They bring snacks, more glasses, and bottles of champagne.

  “Mrs. Cliff? How do you like Fifty Shades of Grey?” Wallace asks.

  “Everyone we knew was reading the books, and we read them for our book club. Frankly, it’s not an accurate or healthy depiction of the lifestyle. Disappointing. There are better choices out there, particularly if you’re interested in erotica in general.”

  “Your book club read them?” I try to picture this.

  “Really? Will you recommend some to me?”

  “Honey, I’ll let you borrow mine. I’ll send you home with some of my favorites.”

  “Allison is right. Read her recommendations. She has a great collection.

  Jack doesn’t know what to think. “What are you ladies talking about out here?”

  “Wallace was speculating that Allesandro is the D and the S in BDSM. Your father agreed he was the dominant. My mother smokes weed, and chills out to music. And they all like to read erotica. I'm still processing all of this information. I may be in an alternate universe.”

  Wallace distracts everyone. “I want a tattoo and to read sexy books.”

  “I think you’re in the right group for that, Wallace. How drunk are you?”

  Frasier fills her flute, and she sits up and sloshes it on her lap. “I'm not drunk,” she slurs. “I want to be playful and adventurous. I'm tired of being the wholesome, responsible one. I’m so fucking bored with my life.”

  “Julia doesn’t have any tattoos.”

  “That may be true, but she doesn’t wear underwear and she has sex wherever and whenever she can. Also I swear, I think she may have gotten her nipple pierced.”

  “No way.” I love drunk Wallace.

  “I could see the outline of it through her sweater the other day. It looks like a bar.”

  Allison plops down and lights a cigarette. “Go, Julia.”

  “Mother.”

  “Oh son, lighten up and have another drink.”

  Drunk Allison is incredible, too.

  “Yeah, Jack. Lighten up. You’re such a prude,” I laugh.

  “Watch yourself, Missy. I’ll call Signor Rossi for tips on how to control your woman.”

  “Control Belle? Good luck with that, Jack. Her mother and I tried for eighteen years. You’re marrying a mischievous little pixie.”

  Jack leans down to kiss me. “It’s one of my favorite things about her, Thom.”

  Wallace grumbles, “No one ever calls me mischievous. Or little.”

  “Where is Ben?” Jack asks.

  “He’s wit
h the kids. Probably crashed on the couch watching football. The house will be a disaster when I get home. I’ll have erotica from Mrs. Cliff, though. Left to my own devices. Again.”

  “Mama? Aren’t you supposed to be getting ready for a cocktail party?”

  “This is my cocktail party. That was all a ruse to surprise you today.”

  “It worked! I’ve been surprised all day. This conversation alone has been a revelation. What about the Sofia surprise? Do we believe her?” I ask.

  Jack holds my hand and responds, “I think I do. I think we’re in the clear. What do you think, Dad?”

  “I tend to agree with you, son. That is unless she escapes her bondage and acts insane with jealousy again.” Frasier cracks himself up.

  Jack and I look at each other with bewilderment. What in the world is going on? He whispers, “I think we need more to drink.”

  “We have one more surprise for you kids.”

  “I’m not sure I can take any more surprises,” I say. “I’m not that young anymore.”

  “Charlie is staying with Miss Margaret tonight.” Miss Margaret lives in the carriage house behind the Cliff’s main house.

  My mother cackles, “Annabelle, you won’t have to listen for the pitter-patter of little feet. And you can show Jack your new presents.”

  “Feel free to talk about your sex life. Leave me out of this.”

  “You’re going to be a prude, too? Please. It’s your engagement day. Now thank Allison and don’t pretend you’re not secretly thrilled.”

  Jack and I grin, and both say, “Thank you, Allison.”

  “You’re welcome. Frasier and I will sleep with our ear plugs in, tonight.”

  My mother cackles again. “Good one, Allison.”

  “Now, Lillian, don’t you think we should start planning the wedding? I think we agreed on about five hundred guests, right?”

  “I don’t know. Do you think we’ll be able to limit it to five hundred?”

  “You may be right. How would we narrow it down? Annabelle, I think I found the perfect wedding dress for you. It has a hoop skirt and a parasol. Lillian I have pictures on my phone.”

  Wallace laughs so hard she snorts and spits out her champagne.

 

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