“I’m simply mystified,” he said, when the others had moved away. “How could you betray my trust? You know the rules as well as I, Peyton. No unauthorized material is to be performed.”
“I needed it to illustrate the rank hypocrisy of the ruling class.” “Don’t be pretentious with me, Mr. Crane. You know that I agree with you about many of the problems at this school, but that is not the issue at the moment. I trusted you. No other student has had the autonomy that you’ve enjoyed as director. I thought you had enough character to blossom into a leader.”
“The play is a success.”
“Yes, but a leader tries to do what is best for all. In the end, you made the selfish decision.”
“I don’t regret it.”
“You’ve given the board of trustees all the reason they need to censor student productions.”
“Then we’ll perform in the streets. Creativity will not be stifled.”
“The streets? Don’t make me laugh. You’re a child of extraordinary privilege and I thought you might do something with the advantages you’ve been given, but…”
“But?”
“Never mind. I forget sometimes that you’re only eighteen. That’s a compliment, by the way.”
Peyton pursed his lips. “I’m sorry if I got you in trouble,” he said at last. “I’ll tell the deans that you didn’t know anything about it.”
“That hardly matters. I’m your sponsor; that means I’m responsible.”
“That sucks.”
“Consequences, Peyton. Every action has them. Think about it.”
“The play really was good though, wasn’t it?”
“It was brilliant. Enjoy your opening night party.” Mr. McIntyre turned away.
“Is it a closing night party, too?”
“That remains to be seen.” Peyton shook off the guilt until a more convenient time and went to celebrate with his colleagues and admirers. The performers were vibrant with the charge of enacting something daring and high on the applause of their peers. Peyton could hardly keep his eyes from Blue’s glowing visage and wished for the infinite time that he hadn’t made such an ass of himself in the cab the other night. Blue hadn’t mentioned it, but it hung in the air between them like the diesel fumes of a runaway bus. He’d blown any chance he had of winning Blue’s love; two and half years of ground work wasted in two minutes. Those dark eyes would never look at him with adoration or kindling desire. Those lips would never kiss him tenderly or open wide for his cock. He’d struck out as surely as his rivals had and with less excuse. After all, he knew Blue better than anyone did. Didn’t he? A short while later, as he stood within a circle of admirers and watched Blue slip out with Heydn, he had to admit that perhaps his friend had changed and he didn’t know him so well anymore.
“Are you sure this isn’t a ploy to get me alone?” Blue’s bubbly tone belied his words. “If I’m lyin’, I’m dyin’,” Heydn said, as they hurried toward his dorm. “Allerton gave me a nugget of dank when we got back from that trip to the islands. I never touched it, so I imagine it’s still at the bottom of my underwear drawer sealed in foil and tucked into an empty cigarette pack.”
“It’s been a while since I smoked.”
“We’re celebratin’. Let’s shoot the moon.”
Blue laughed just to let some of the high spirits out. “Okay. Let’s do a couple of swats and go back to the party.”
“It’ll definitely make Peyn’s wallowin’ easier to take.”
“Hey, come on; he earned it.”
“Sorry if I’m just a tidge miffed over the dirty trick he played on me.”
“If he’d told you the new scene hadn’t been approved, would you have refused to do it?”
“Hell no,” Heydn said honestly. “But he should’ve told me.”
“Yes, he should’ve. I’ve noticed that people don’t always do what they should.”
“Fuck you.”
“You wish.”
“With every beat of my heart.”
“Shut up. Hey, there’s a light on in your room.”
“Oh yeah, I kinda forgot that my roommate would be there. I’ll just grab the stuff and be right out.” Blue took off his mittens and made werewolf paw prints in the snow until Heydn came back. Without discussing it, they took the path toward the lake, stopping as soon as they were out of sight of the campus. Heydn used three matches, but finally got the stubby joint to stay lit. He passed the roach to Blue, who inhaled a deep lungful and gave it back.
“Damn,” Blue said in a tight voice. “That tastes like kryptonite. I doubt I’ll need another hit.” “Sure?” Heydn glanced at Blue before he pinched the end off the joint and dropped it in Blue’s jacket pocket. “For later.”
“I think I might be over getting stoned.”
“I never smoked much. It’s a nice buzz once in a while.”
“Mmm,” Blue tilted his head back and looked up at the stars through the winter bare branches. “I like the floaty feeling. Kind of like when you’ve got a fever, you know?”
Heydn was gazing at the line of Blue’s neck. “Yeah. Right,” he said slowly.
“Whoa,” Blue said as he looked back down. “I’m a little high.”
“Yeah.” Heydn grinned.
“Ready to go back to the party?”
“No, but if you leave, I’ll follow you.”
“Damn it, Heydn. Every time it seems like we’re having a nice normal conversation, you have to say something like that.”
“Yes I do.”
“You won’t wear me down with persistence.”
“Doesn’t matter. This is who I am.”
“Are you somehow mocking me?”
“Not intentionally.”
Blue gave the other young man an assessing look. “If I wanted to kiss you, could you let it be just that? A kiss and nothing more?”
“If you’re asking me if I could sleep with you and not let it mean anything, the answer is no.”
“Too bad.”
“I wasn’t finished. It would mean something to me because I love you, but it doesn’t have to mean anything to you. If you’re horny, I’m your man.”
“I am horny,” Blue confessed. “I had sort of an adventure a couple of nights ago and it…”
“Got your motor runnin’?”
“Yeah. Now I can’t switch it off and jerking off doesn’t make it go away.”
“I can help with that. I’m a pretty good mechanic.” “If you say anything about looking under my hood or checking my oil…” Blue let it hang.
“Aw, you’re takin’ all the fun out of it.”
“Then let’s just forget it.”
“No more puns,” Heydn said quickly.
“It was a bad idea to begin with. I don’t know what I was thinking.”
“You were thinking that this feels pretty good.” Heydn cupped Blue’s cheek on his palm and drew his thumb along the silky line of Blue’s eyebrow.
“It really does,” Blue sighed. Greatly daring, Heydn took a step closer and put his other hand on Blue’s face. As though he expected to be caught and taken away in handcuffs, Heydn stole a kiss, brushing his lips so delicately against Blue’s that the touch was almost subliminal. A soft moan escaped Blue’s lips and he looked at Heydn with eyes that were dewy with need. Heydn didn’t ask for any more permission. He covered Blue’s mouth with his and acquainted the other young man with the depths of his desire.
“How do you do that?” Blue groaned as their lips parted. “I want you so much I can’t make it back to the dorm.”
“It’s awful cold out here.”
“Then warm me up.” Heydn took Blue’s hand and pulled him to The Monks. Taking shelter from the wind in the lee of the boulders, Heydn and Blue embraced hungrily, devouring each other with mouths and hands. Kisses were urgent and covered all of the limited skin that was exposed to the elements. Blue slid a cold hand under Heydn’s waistband and took hold of his burning shaft. Heydn groaned into Blue’s mouth, pres
sing him against one of the huge rocks as he worked at Blue’s zipper. Blue pulled Heydn’s hard cock through his fly and slicked it with warm spit. Heydn shuddered as the saliva quickly cooled, but Blue chafed his rod back to quivering life. Clumsy with his gloved fingers, Heydn yanked Blue’s trousers below the bottom curve of his ass. Putting his hands on Blue’s waist, he lifted him to the slight incline of the boulder and held him there with his weight.
“Do it. Do it,” Blue chanted under his breath when he felt the head of Heydn’s cock at his hole. Conscious of the lack of adequate lubrication, Heydn eased the tip of his shaft into the reluctantly yielding aperture. A thin whine emerged from Blue’s throat, but he gripped Heydn by the biceps and let himself sink farther onto the hot length of flesh. Heydn widened his stance as Blue wrapped his legs around him, heels digging into the small of his back. Snow fell around them, but they stood in a blast furnace funnel of wind, swept up and away like cinders from a bonfire, dancing together in the currents of hot-blooded pleasure. Heydn wrapped an arm around Blue’s back and pulled him closer, sheathed to the hilt, Blue’s cock trapped between their bodies, sliding in a slick of its own making. Blue gasped and moaned, pulling at Heydn’s hair, arching his back, pressing the soles of his feet against Heydn’s buttocks for leverage as he single-mindedly sought greater stimulation. Spurred by Blue’s abandoned enthusiasm, Heydn churned his hips and put his mouth to Blue’s neck, placing his own mark on the smooth skin. Blue made a strangled little noise and dug his fingertips into Heydn’s muscles. Heydn shortened his stroke and Blue cried out, his legs tightening around Heydn’s waist. Burying his face in Blue’s neck, Heydn thrust until he felt Blue shudder in the throes of orgasm and then slowed his cadence, sinking deep as the tight passage rippled along the length of his aching cock. Shivering at the exquisite caress, Heydn shifted his rod, savoring the small sounds that Blue made. Blue was wrung out by the powerful orgasm. Dreamily, he clenched and relaxed his interior muscles as Heydn slid in and out of him. In about five seconds of this treatment, Heydn shot his load. He stood on trembling legs, holding Blue up, as his seed spurted out in a seemingly endless stream.
“God damn,” he breathed, as aftershocks tightened his abdomen in waves. “I think my legs are gonna give out on me.” Blue made a sound of protest as Heydn disengaged and set him on his feet. Quickly, Heydn pulled Blue’s trousers up and fastened them before he did up his jeans. Then he swept Blue into his arms and kissed him until Blue pulled away.
“Bow howdy,” Heydn grinned. “That was somethin’ else.”
“You definitely tuned me up,” Blue said.
“Uh, if you don’t mind me askin’, did you cum without touchin’ your dick?”
“Wild, huh?”
“So you came just from me, you know, puttin’ my dick in you?”
“Well, you did have to repeat the action several times.”
Heydn’s grin widened. “No shit. That’s cool as hell.”
“It’s not a miracle or anything. Don’t call Ripley’s or the Guinness people.”
“You’re wrong. A couple as sexually compatible as we are is a genuine miracle.”
“How come sometimes you talk like a country boy and sometimes you sound like a talk show host?”
“I’ve missed your insults.”
Blue took a deep breath. “This was just sex,” he said. “Nothing more.”
“Wrong again. That wasn’t just sex; it was somethin’ a whole lot better that there isn’t a word for yet.”
“I’m going back to the party.” Heydn fell in beside Blue, ebullient with the fact that he was walking next to Blue and with the afterglow of fantastic sex. He stopped at the entrance to the dining hall and pretended to inspect his friend from head to foot.
“What?” Blue asked.
“I’m afraid there’s no way to hide it.” “What?”
“That well-laid look.”
Blue punched Heydn’s shoulder and walked past him into the party.
“I was looking for you,” Astor said, as Blue took a soft drink from the tub of ice.
Blue opened the bottle and took a long drink. “I needed some air.”
“I would’ve gone with you.”
“Thanks.” Blue took another long pull at the soda.
“Did either of your little playmates tell you why they thought it would be a good idea to spit in Mr. McIntyre’s face?”
“No.”
“Did you know about it?”
“No.”
“That’s the only word you have for me now, isn’t it? It doesn’t matter what you say; every word means no. How did we go from making love for hours to this?”
“You know how.”
“This stalemate is driving me crazy.” Tired, sated, and with his inhibitions lowered by the marijuana, Blue’s insecurities spoke for him. “Do you know how much it hurt me when I saw you dancing with that girl? It was like an icicle in my heart. Even if we could be together, you’d have to be with her sometimes, and every time you left me, it would be like that same icicle plunging into my chest. I can’t live like that. Please take that as my final answer.”
“You never cared about me, did you?” Astor whispered harshly. “You used me to get Heydn Case back and it worked perfectly. It probably took longer than you planned, but you got what you wanted.”
Blue could only stare at Astor in disbelief. “If you really believe that…” he began and then gave it up as pointless. “I’m sorry,” he said, as he moved away.
“Why do you keep humiliating yourself?” Peyton said from behind Astor.
Astor turned around. “I’d think you’d have more sympathy for me, considering.”
“Considering what?”
“That Blue has never looked at you and wondered what it’d be like to fuck you.”
“Touché. Feel better now?” “Not really.” Astor took a pull at his nebulizer. “Why can’t Blue compromise?”
“I don’t know, but I think it’s why I fell for him.”
“You know Case has snaked him again. I can’t prove it, but I can smell it.”
“Ew. I think you need a real drink. Come with me if you want to kill a few brain cells.”
“We probably shouldn’t be drinking alcohol on school premises.”
“Granted; now do you want a drink or not?”
“Yeah.” Astor followed Peyton to the kitchen.
Blue saw them leave together and nudged Heydn. “Check it out. Wouldn’t it be ironic?”
“Thanks for putting that picture in my head. How are you doin’?”
“I’m fine.” Blue gave Heydn an odd look. “How are you?”
“Me? Couldn’t be better. Need another soda?”
“I think I’m over the dry mouth. Looks like the party is winding down.”
“What do you expect from a sausage fest like this? The heteros get bored quick.”
“You and Peyton must have been raised in the same gutter.”
“Hey, me and him are the normal ones. You’re a prude.”
“You’re saying this to the guy you just nailed up against a rock in a snowstorm?”
“You do have a point.” Heydn grinned. “I love you,” he added.
“Why don’t you fags make out?” Rhodes said, as he passed by.
“Okay,” Heydn replied. “But if you want to watch, you’ll have to take a number.”
Rhodes stopped and looked back and forth between the other two young men. “What do you get out of it?” he asked.
“The sarcasm?”
“No, the…being queer. I mean, it seems like you take an awful lot of shit for being gay and I was wondering what makes it worth it. Is the sex a lot better or something?”
Blue stared open-mouthed at Rhodes while Heydn tried to control his laughter long enough to answer.
“You don’t get to pick.” Blue recovered first. “I didn’t choose to be homosexual; I just am. The way you’re heterosexual.”
“That just doesn’t make sense to me,” Rh
odes shook his head.
“I guarantee you when I kiss Blue I feel all the same things you feel when you kiss your girl,” Heydn said.
“No shit?”
“I’m crappin’ you negative,” Heydn said. “You can take my word as a bisexual.”
“I still don’t get it. The idea of touching another guy’s dick does nothing for me.”
“What about a guy touchin’ your dick?” Heydn smiled slyly. “Head is head, right?”
Rhodes shook his head again. “Not to me.”
“Hey, I’m just messin’ with you,” Heydn said. “I don’t mean anything by it.”
“For a minute there, you sounded like Allerton King or one of his goons.”
“Just a bad joke, Rhodes.”
“Glad to hear it. Carry on.”
Heydn smiled at Blue as Rhodes walked away. “He thinks we’re together.”
“Yeah, he seems confused about a lot of things.”
“Are you ready to get out of here?”
“I was thinking about it.”
“Come on. I’ll walk you home.”
“Fine, but you’re not getting any.”
“That’s what you say now,” Heydn said, as they left the hall.
“You’re pushing it.”
“What have I got to lose?”
“I guess you could look at it that way,” Blue said as they walked up the path to his building.
“Are you sayin’ there’s a chance you’d take me back?”
“If you don’t think there is, why are you hanging around?”
“Because I made a vow to myself that this time I wouldn’t run away. If you don’t take me back by the time we graduate and go off to college, I’ll admit defeat. Until then, I’m not givin’ up.”
Blue remembered how nice it felt to sleep beside someone, to know they’d be there when you woke up. “I can’t stop you,” he said.
“So,” Heydn said, as Blue started up the stairs. “Do you think we’ll get together again like we did tonight?”
True Blue Page 17