by Lea Coll
“Yeah—that was him. I’m embarrassed that I ever dated him.” My dad would never approve of me dating a contractor.
“Don’t be. We all make mistakes. At least you figured it out before you were married to him.”
I smiled at his attempt to lighten the mood. “Yeah, the proposal made me realize that I didn’t even like Layton as a person. He didn’t see me.”
Cade slowly moved a finger on the inside of my wrist.
I sucked in a breath at the contact. The warmth spread up my arm to my heart. “Why did you come?”
“I wanted to talk to you—”
My eyes moved to his, which were brimming with emotion. I sensed he was here to talk about something personal. “Explain why you seem sad sometimes?”
He smiled sadly. “Is it that obvious? I thought I’d been better lately, but I guess not.”
“You don’t have to tell me.” But I wanted him to open up to me like I had with him.
“I was married before.” His words hung in the air between us.
I had a sense of foreboding that something had happened to his wife. His face was ashen and his eyes filled with sadness.
“We’d been married for two years and we were just starting to talk about the possibility of kids when she started getting headaches. We spent a few months bouncing around from doctor to doctor until we discovered it was cancer. It was an aggressive form. She accepted that quicker than I did.”
“God, I’m so sorry, Cade. I had no idea.” I turned my hand under his so that our fingers were interlaced. I wanted to take the raw pain in his eyes that seemed to weigh him down.
He dropped my hand, leaned forward so that his elbows rested on his knees, and dropped his head into his hands. I couldn’t take the sheer pain etched in the tense set of his shoulders, his back. I moved closer, put my arm around his back, and rested my head on his shoulder.
“You loved her.”
“She was my future and when she died—it was like—”
“Your future was gone.” I tried to put myself in his shoes. What would it feel like if your spouse died? All of your hopes and dreams died with them.
“Exactly.” He lifted his head and our lips were inches apart.
I wanted to ask why he’d confided in me, but when his eyes lowered to my lips, I had a pretty good idea.
My arm dropped from his back when he’d shifted upright, but I wanted to touch his thigh. I longed to lean into his body and feel the warmth. I should pull away and create some distance between us, but I couldn’t.
“I don’t know why I feel compelled to tell you, but I do. You opened up to me last night and I wanted to do the same.”
It was honest. It was real, but I wanted a declaration that I was different. I had an ex-boyfriend causing trouble in my life and Cade was my client. We couldn’t be any more wrong.
“Since I met you, I started to feel things again. I’m not in this never-ending cycle of surviving minute-to-minute and day-to-day. I looked forward to seeing you. I don’t know what that means, and I can’t promise you anything, but I’d like to see where it goes.”
The words spread like liquid through my chest and down my limbs until my body throbbed with the need to reduce the small distance between us. This was my moment to remind him we couldn’t be anything, but if this was the only moment I got with him, I’d take it. My mind was at war with my body because I leaned in closer, erasing the few inches that separated our lips. The touch was tentative as if he was still unsure of himself. Then his hand cupped the back of my head, holding me to his mouth and sending heat to my core.
I moaned and angled my head to explore his mouth. I wanted to tangle my fingers in his hair and tug him closer, but I was scared that any movement would break this moment. His grip in my hair tightened and he shifted to face me. Our legs were in between us on the couch—in the way. I wanted him on top of me and between my legs. “Cade, please.”
But instead of bringing him closer, my words had the opposite effect. He pulled away and shifted away from me on the couch. I felt the loss of his touch and warmth immediately. “What’s wrong?”
The regret on his face was almost too much to bear. He was right to pull away. I was breaking one of the most important ethical rules of my job—the one I’d scoffed at in law school. Who would sleep with their client? It was so unprofessional—so wrong. So entirely unlike me.
“I want to see what this is.” He gestured between us. “But I’m scared. I have all of this baggage you don’t need. You deserve everything. You deserve more than that douchebag who was just here and more than me. I’m not sure I have anything to offer you.”
“Let me decide what I need.” Everything he said was true, but I’d never been drawn to another person. I wanted to erase his pain. It was idealistic. It was beyond the scope of my relationship with him, but I didn’t care.
“Is it that simple?” His expression was hopeful.
Of course, it wasn’t, but I didn’t want to admit that. I dreaded having to tell him the reality. “Technically, nothing can happen between us as long as we have an attorney-client relationship.”
His eyes searched mine for a confirmation that what I was saying was true. “You’re serious.”
My stomach churned because I was torn between what I wanted and what was possible between us. “It’s an ethical violation for us to date while I represent you.”
“Because of that agreement I signed?”
“Yes.”
“Then I’ll rip it up.” The doubt from a minute ago was replaced with his determination.
As much as I loved to hear that, I wanted to make sure he wasn’t making a rash decision. I didn’t want him to keep operating his business without someone following up on overdue payments. “It’s not that simple. You came to me for help and I wanted to help you.”
His hand cupped my face. “You have. You have no idea. For the first time in a long time—I have hope.”
“I’m supposed to help you legally.” My mind had turned to mush as his thumb caressed the sensitive skin on my throat.
“Legally?” His lips touched the spot his fingers were a second ago, spreading soft kisses down my neck.
“Uh huh.” I nodded, not sure what I agreed to.
“Maybe I need a different sort of help.” He’d lifted his head and cupped my face with both hands.
Goosebumps popped up on my arms from his touch and the intensity in his eyes. “You do?”
He kissed me, surrounding me with his scent and his touch. The reverent way he touched me with his lips and his fingers—I knew he’d be an attentive lover. I’d give anything to find out.
“You’re fired.” He breathed the words across my lips.
A tingle shot through my body. Then his mouth was on mine again, his hands drifted down my back to my ass, as he lifted me into his lap to straddle him. Our lips never moved from each other’s. I wanted to slide into him—I wanted to get so lost in him I’d never find myself again.
Cade
I let all of the feelings crash through me, filling me up with anger, need, and want. Feelings I hadn’t felt since Caroline died. They were somehow more than before. I was numb for so many years, but now every inch of my skin was alive with want. I wanted to be as close as I could get to the person who’d brought me every emotion to the surface—Hadley.
She rocked her core over my cock, her lips on mine, her needy moans filled the air.
I pulled my lips from hers to breathe. “I need you.”
“Yes.” Her acquiescence filled me with relief. This woman wanted me—not the shell of a man I’d been but who I was now and who I could be if I let her in. Everything hummed through my body, my heart beating like a drum, telling me to let this woman be the one.
I should have asked her if she was sure. I wanted to remind her I was no good for her. I was using her body, her goodness, and her warmth, but I couldn’t. I wanted her more than my next breath. She was my key to healing. I knew it with every breath in m
y body and the truth rocked me to my soul. I wanted her slick heat around my cock. I wanted to feel her bare skin on mine, but at the same time, I had to slow this down.
I cupped her face, gentling my kisses until it was more exploration than passion. I needed her to know that anything between us was more than one night. I wanted to do this right. I pulled back slightly, brushing her hair out of her face, and tucking a strand behind her ear. Her face was flush, her lips swollen. She’d never looked more beautiful.
“So, what now?” Uncertainty filled her eyes.
“I guess I need to find a new attorney.” I wanted to lighten the moment.
“Avery could represent you at the same fees I quoted you.” Worry and fear settled in her eyes.
She thought I’d hire a new firm. “That’s perfect. I don’t want you to worry about it.”
She moved to sit next to me on the couch, close enough we were still touching from shoulder to thighs.
“I want to take my time with you.” Shifting to stroke the soft skin of her arm, my lips brushed her temple. I breathed in the scent of her shampoo.
Her body melting into mine. “You still can. We have all weekend.”
“We do, don’t we?” For the first time, since Caroline died, I was content. “Let’s go out to dinner.”
“I’d love to.” Looking up at me, her eyes softened as the uncertainty dissipated.
I didn’t want her to think we’d keep this to her apartment—that she was a secret or something I was ashamed of. She was the best decision I’d made in years.
Chapter Sixteen
Hadley
We walked hand-in-hand through the streets of Annapolis. Cade had a small smile on his face and his shoulders were back and relaxed. He’d let go of everything holding him back and he was with me. This morning, I never thought we’d be here. He was just as attentive, focused, and intense as I suspected he’d be, but so much more.
He was so different from anyone I’d dated. He anticipated my wants and needs. He was attentive, focusing on me as if I was important.
Pursuing something with him would be difficult. He’d probably never get over his late wife. I didn’t delude myself into thinking things would be perfect because he’d kissed me. He hadn’t shown any signs of regret. I was going to enjoy every moment I had with him.
“Where do you want to eat?” Cade asked.
“I haven’t been to many places yet, just the bar we ran into you the other night. Do you have a favorite place?” I tensed, wondering if eating out at his favorite place would bring up memories of his late wife.
“It’s been a while since I’ve been there and I’m not sure even sure it’s still open but—”
“I’d love to try it.”
“It’s a place the tourists miss because it’s not on the main drag.” He gestured up Main Street, where most of the tourist-driven shops and restaurants were.
“Sounds perfect.”
He gripped my hand tighter in his.
We passed by the restaurants, shops which faced the water, the small marketplace buzzing with people, and up a narrow side street where the sidewalks were rough with uneven brick. Each house was unique, a different color siding and style of porch, but almost everyone had window boxes or pots of flowers.
It was noticeably quieter here with fewer pedestrians. I peeked down the alleyways to get a glimpse as to what lay behind the houses, finding wrought iron gates, ornate gardens, brick sidewalks, and water fountains. The small historic homes held a history similar to parts of New Orleans.
“Are you sure there’s a restaurant on this street?”
“The one I remember. The further you walk north, you’ll come to state circle. There’s coffee shops, bookstores, and clothing stores there.”
“I was on state circle yesterday buying things for my apartment.” I hadn’t realized there were so many side streets with hidden treasures.
We finally stopped at a white building with a black hanging sign which read McGregor’s Pub. I liked that we were more alone here than on the main streets the tourists frequented.
“Here it is.” Cade held the door open for me as I walked inside the dark bar.
When he caught the skeptical look on my face, he said, “I promise the food’s good.”
“Two for dinner, or would you like to sit at the bar?” A man appeared at the hostess stand.
“Dinner, please,” Cade said.
The man led us to a secluded booth in the corner.
Warmth flushed through me because this was very much a date—meandering through the streets like tourists and dinner. It was still early. There were only two other couples.
The man placed menus in front of us and left.
“What’s good here?”
“The crab cakes,” Cade said like I’d asked a ridiculous question.
“Is the answer always the crab cakes?” I smiled at him.
“Yes, unless we’re at a place you can order crabs.”
“Taylor used to talk about eating crabs. She missed them.”
“She told you to move here?”
“Kind of. The other attorneys at my firm are her friends from law school. She told me about their plan to open a firm.”
“Is your dad still upset you’re here?”
I didn’t want to talk about my dad. I didn’t want to ruin the high I’d been on since Cade stepped into my apartment. “He’s not happy. I have an event for Kids Speak in a few weeks and I worry he has something planned for it. Something I won’t like.”
“You’re planning to go back to New Orleans for it?” His stance was deceptively relaxed, but every muscle in his body tensed as if waiting for my response.
“Yes, we planned on announcing the expansion into other cities. I wanted to start here, but with his threat to withdraw funding, I’m not sure what’s going to happen.” I was a little worried about dealing with the fallout of the proposal. I was sure there would be rumors and talk about why I’d said no, and I worried Layton would confront me again.
“Layton wants you back.” Cade shifted in his seat and his jaw was tight.
“I don’t understand why he’s so intent on getting me back. He didn’t love me.” He didn’t want me with the intensity Cade did. It was like I was the one who got away and he couldn’t handle the rejection.
“You’re beautiful. You’re kind, caring, and smart. Anyone would be lucky to be with you.”
I chewed my lip. “That’s sweet, but I’m not sure that’s what Layton values or wants in a wife. Reputation and family wealth are the two big requirements.”
“I can’t understand the world you grew up in.” Something pulsed between us and I couldn’t look away from him. Was he disgusted by it, or was he sympathetic?
“It’s hard to imagine anything else when it’s all you’ve ever known.” My voice was soft.
“Hi, I’m Casey. I’ll be your waitress tonight. Are you ready to order?”
Cade’s eyes slowly broke from mine to acknowledge the waitress, ending the connection, but I kept my eyes on him. “The crab cake sandwiches and fries, please.”
Casey took our menus and left.
“I hope you don’t mind that I ordered for you.”
“Not at all. I trust your judgment and I loved the crab cakes Friday night.”
Cade’s shrewd eyes watched me for a few seconds. I suspected he was still thinking about our conversation before the waitress interrupted us. “You’re stronger than you think.”
“I didn’t say I wasn’t.” But he was right. I didn’t feel particularly strong.
“No, but I can see the doubt in your eyes. You’re worried Layton or your dad will convince you to go back. You told him no in front of a room full of your family and so-called friends. That took guts. You’ve moved across the country on your own to start a new business and a new life. It’s because you’re strong.”
I’d viewed it as cowardly, so it was mind-opening to hear his perspective. His words filled the cracks in my con
fidence. “Keep saying that and maybe I’ll believe it.”
“If I were stronger, I would have moved away too. That way, I could avoid any reminders of my life with Caroline and my family who couldn’t give me any space in the beginning, but I didn’t.”
“I think you’re strong for staying and facing it.” I reached across the table, covering his hand with mine.
He cleared his throat, determination filling his eyes. “We’re both strong and we’re both fighters, but I think we could be stronger together.”
His soft words settled into my consciousness, giving me hope that what I’d found with Cade could be my future.
The waitress placed our plates in front of us as I pulled my hand from his.
I focused on Casey, who’d asked if we wanted anything else. I said, “No,” and she left.
We ate in silence while I reveled in the feeling we could be together. We didn’t need to fill the silence. There were no appearances to maintain.
We finished eating then Cade paid the bill. We walked outside where it was dark and cooler than when we’d arrived.
Cade put his arm around me, pulling me into his side. “I loved showing you my town. I haven’t really looked at it in years. I haven’t appreciated the beauty—it’s uniqueness—how lucky I am to live here close to my family who loves me.”
I squeezed his side with my hand, happy for him. “They don’t manipulate you and your feelings?”
“No. They’ve been nothing but supportive—a little stifling at times but supportive.”
“I’m glad I can make you feel better about your situation.” There was no sarcasm in my voice. I was glad I could ease things for him.
“I think you help me to see what I’ve been missing. I’ve taken everything for granted. I lost one person, but I didn’t lose everyone. But if I’d kept going the way I was—I would have pushed my parents further away.”
“I’m sure your family understands that even if it was painful for them.”
“It’s you.” He kissed my temple. “You’re the reason I see things clearly. I want to keep seeing you. I want to be around you. You make everything better.”