by Rae Walsh
“Everyone needs to be adopted,” she told him.
And so they did, asking Daniel over whenever they had space for a third person. He was quiet, but when he spoke, his thoughts were deep and kind.
Sheldon’s smile wavered. He hadn’t meant to drop the friendship the way he had. But when Theresa left, he didn’t have much heart for anything. He was trying to repair the friendship now, bringing Daniel to backyard night with the other men.
Sheldon glanced back at Daniel and Theresa across the street. It looked like Daniel was turning to walk to the post office, while Theresa was coming… here? Sheldon’s heart began to race.
But then Daniel reached out and squeezed her shoulder, and Theresa laughed up at him and gave him a hug. Sheldon’s stomach dropped. He ducked into the store before they could see him. He felt feverish. He needed to hide, so he hurried into his office, flopping into his desk chair and grabbing the first stack of papers he found, flipping through them.
Soon he heard the bells on the front door, and a clear voice saying, “Hi, Lucy.”
“Well, hello, darling. Oh my, I forgot you were really here now. Hmm. Things are becoming clearer.”
“What?”
“Nothing. Is there anything in particular that you need?”
“Food.”
“Well, we have that.”
“Yes, I see. And I can smell it. Wow, this place is glorious.”
“Thank you. You can tell Sheldon if you like. He’s in his office, right over there.”
Sheldon swore under his breath. Lucy was a meddling, annoying old woman...he held his breath, waiting, looking at the papers that were blurring before his eyes.
Sheldon felt Theresa before he saw her. He could feel her hovering there, like the remnants of an excellent dream.
“Tazzy,” she said in a low voice. He dragged his eyes away from his sheaf of papers and up to her face. No, that was a mistake. He looked back down at his papers. Sheldon wouldn’t have believed that Theresa could be more beautiful than she had been ten years ago—Lord knew Sheldon wasn’t more beautiful—but it only showed the limits of his imagination. Theresa wasn’t quite human. She had come back to Aveline luminous.
“Yes?” he said when he could trust his voice.
He could hear her hesitation when she spoke.
“I wanted to say thank you for yesterday.”
“Oh, no problem at all. Just being neighborly.”
“Neighborly. Right. Well, I’m going shopping.”
“Great,” Sheldon said, his voice flat. He could hear that he had hurt her, and it made him feel angry. Angry with whom, he didn’t know. “Have a good time.”
She lingered. Sheldon looked up at her again. Mistake! He flicked his eyes back down again.
“Do you...is there anything good right now?” she asked.
He groaned inwardly. She had him. Sheldon couldn’t ignore the cry for help of someone who needed to know which vegetables were fresh. He stood up and walked past her, swiftly, making sure not to touch her.
“We have amazing eggplant at the moment,” he said as he walked toward the produce section. He shot Lucy a look from a distance, and she smirked at him. “And the kale is lovely.”
“Mm, kale omelets,” Theresa said, her voice happy again.
She really did want to be his friend, Sheldon thought. Did she have no idea how hard that would be for him? Before Theresa left Aveline, the two of them were the very best of friends, but Theresa had killed that friendship. They were more than friends. Sheldon knew what her lips tasted like, what the nape of her neck felt like under his hand. He had believed he was going to be Maddie’s father. Then the lovely woman beside him had ripped it all away without an explanation.
“Our eggs are over here,” he said, taking a shortcut through the kitchenware aisle.
Sheldon realized Reesey wasn’t beside him anymore and turned back. Green’s didn’t have a large selection of kitchenware, but they carried some mugs and bowls, a few pots and pans, an assortment of utensils. Some towels.
Theresa had stopped by the mugs and stood there holding one of them in her hands, frowning at it. Sheldon sighed, letting his head drop forward. How was it possible to feel so jittery and so tired at the same time?
“This is poorly made,” Theresa declared. “I can sell you better pottery, once I have my studio up and running.”
He pinched the bridge of his nose. “Yes, I’ve heard that you’ve become quite the potter,” he said. There were layers and layers of meaning in his tone. Theresa had left and found a fantastic new life somewhere else, and that made Sheldon bitter and angry. She blinked at him. He couldn’t tell if she understood the subtext of his statement.
“I’ve heard that you’ve become quite the drinker,” she said.
His jaw dropped. Then he pulled his mouth shut. “Yes,” he said. “Well, I’m working on that.”
“That’s good. Too much alcohol isn’t healthy.”
“Why don’t you put the poorly-made cup back on the shelf and I’ll get someone else to show you the eggs?” he answered. “Lucy!” he called, striding away, angry again. “Can you show Theresa around the store? She seems to need a personal guide.”
Sheldon ignored Theresa’s little gasp as he went back to his office and slammed the door.
Chapter Seven
That evening, Sheldon sat beside the fire in Francisco’s backyard, trying to ignore the fact that Theresa was in a house that was a mere block away. It was nearly impossible.
Sheldon could feel her presence in his bones and muscles, in the skin on his face.
The oak trees rustled, and Sheldon tipped his head back to watch the dancing leaves, breathing in the scent of the charcoal barbecue and the sizzling grass-fed beef steaks that Francisco had layered over it.
“You look haggard today,” Francisco told him conversationally as he passed Sheldon a soda. His tone was much the same as if he’d said: “You look nice today.”
Francisco had soda for Sheldon and beer for everyone else. Sheldon had been drinking more frequently, lately, and he wanted to break the habit, so he had started a ninety-day alcohol cleanse. Today was day five. Sheldon looked longingly at the beer in Francisco’s hand. He may have neglected to think this through properly. With Theresa around, it was going to be a long three months.
“Thanks,” he replied. “Observant of you.”
“Come on, look alive, Sheldon!” George said, leaning forward in his chair. “This is it! Time to officially welcome Daniel to backyard night. We’ve waited a long time for this day.”
Sheldon forced himself to sit up taller and look at Daniel. He smiled at the worried look on his old friend’s face.
“Shall we toast?” Sheldon asked. “Raise your glasses for Daniel, our newest brother.”
“To Daniel!” Francisco, George, and Carlo chorused.
They all drank, and Daniel smiled shyly. “Thanks, guys.”
Francisco’s mom, Lupe, came out with a pan of tamales, his daughter, Rosa, dancing behind her with a basket of napkins. Francisco stood to take the dish, dropping a kiss on his mother’s head.
“Mama, I told you to take the night off,” he said. “You can eat some of what we make.”
“Shush, Mijo!” she said. “Let your mama cook. Hola, Sheldon, hola, George. Samuel is not back from his honeymoon yet? ¡Ay! They must be so tired…”
“Okay, Mamá,” Francisco said, his cheeks turning red, “Here, take some steak for you three. Enjoy!”
“Thank you, Mijo. Thank you, Sheldon, for bringing fancy steak from your nice shop.”
“No trouble at all, Mrs. Rodriguez,” Sheldon said, grinning at the look on Francisco’s face. He had been playing a game of ‘high five, up high, down low, too slow’ with Rosa. The eleven-year-old was so fast that she nearly always got him.
“She loves to embarrass you,” he said as Frankie’s mom called Rosa and then slipped back into the door at the back of their house.
“She wants me to get
remarried,” Frankie muttered, “And thinks embarrassing me into it is a viable strategy. I have no idea why she thinks that will work. I’m not getting married again. Rosa is totally fine. She has all of us looking after her.”
“That’s right,” Carlo said. “What preteen with a father, grandmother, and grandfather would ever need a mother?”
Sheldon inhaled. Carlo was overly direct at times.
Frankie passed his beer from hand to hand, quiet for a moment, then looked at Carlo. “Let’s just say if I could be sure that Rosa would get a mother, not an ambivalent stepmother, like some of the women Mama tried to set me up with, I might be more open to marriage.” He shrugged. “It’s extremely unlikely, but Mama won’t give up.”
As the stars came out, they sat back in their chairs and grew more relaxed. Sheldon’s stomach felt comfortably full. George had kindled a fire in Frankie’s fire pit, and they all scooted their chairs closer than they had a week ago. Autumn was settling in. The talk ranged from work, to some new discoveries in physics that Daniel and George were excited about, to sports. Then a comfortable silence fell. The fire crackled. Sheldon thought again about how much he loved the smell of wood smoke.
“Let’s talk deeper,” Frankie said. “If you feel comfortable, you can tell us what God has been showing you about his love. What are you learning, lately?”
After a bit of a pause, George spoke. “Every day I’m more firmly convinced of God’s passion for the people in the outer margins of society,” he said. “I feel his love for them when I’m with them. This week Mercy and I worked in Billers, meeting with many clients who are caught in the cycle of poverty and crime. They’re often treated worse if they are black, mentally ill, or a minority in some other way.” He rubbed a hand over his forehead. “It’s hard not to grow bitter, fighting for people and seeing how badly the structure of our society serves them. But Mercy and I are trying to direct our sadness into solidarity. God feels this ache, and we feel it with him.”
Sheldon smiled at his hands. He felt privileged to be friends with George: someone who cared passionately and worked relentlessly for justice.
“It seems like hard work,” he said.
George shrugged. “We’re compelled to do it.” George and Mercy were Aveline’s lawyers, but they also worked in Billers or even as far as L.A. as civil rights or defense lawyers. Francisco and George had been working together on a program for at-risk youth, planning to launch it in the next few years.
Another silence fell. Sheldon heard an owl calling in the distance. Then Daniel spoke, surprising everyone.
“God is showing me love through you four, as well as Sam,” Daniel said. “Many people don’t trust me, but you welcomed me in.”
“Welcomed you?” Carlo yelped. “We’ve been pursuing you for years now! We’re so glad you’re finally here!”
“It took a while for me to feel comfortable,” Daniel said in his soft way.
Ten years ago, just before Theresa had left and Francisco had arrived, someone had gone on a crime spree around Aveline. Daniel had been dragged into the investigation when an anonymous person said they had seen him acting suspiciously. He had been cleared eventually, but some people in Aveline had never really trusted him again.
Sheldon had never known what to think about who had robbed seven homes in Aveline. He couldn’t believe it was Daniel, though. Dan was shy and quiet. He had none of the characteristics of a thief.
George stretched a hand out and patted Daniel on the shoulder.
After a moment, Sheldon spoke. “I felt some of the wilder side of God’s love today,” he said, “when Lucy tore into me for being too hard on my employees.” The other men chuckled.
“Lucy does a good job of demonstrating that particular kind of God’s love,” George said. They all laughed, then silence fell again. They waited.
Francisco spoke next. “I’m feeling God’s love in having a new neighbor,” he said. “It’s good to have change in the neighborhood. We get too stagnant, otherwise. And we need practice because next year we get our refugees.”
Frankie had campaigned for a long time and had finally succeeded in convincing the town council to sponsor a few refugee families. There had been a vote, and though not everyone was for it, they had the votes they needed. More than 70% of people in Aveline wanted to extend welcome to the new refugees. They would be responsible for helping the families settle in, find jobs, and become comfortable in their new home. Frankie was right. They needed practice.
Sheldon chewed his lip, frowning. Something about what Frankie had said didn’t sit right with him. Sheldon didn’t want Francisco to appreciate Theresa too much. He didn’t want Daniel to like Theresa too much, either, for that matter.
He was speaking before he had time to think about the words coming out of his mouth.
“I saw you and Theresa looking pretty chummy this morning,” he said to Daniel. “Catching up?”
George and Francisco burst out laughing. They roared with laughter, leaning back in their chairs and holding their stomachs.
“I’m glad you find this so funny,” Sheldon said.
But Daniel was looking at him with gentle eyes. “I remember,” he said to Sheldon quietly. Abruptly, Francisco and George stopped laughing, still wiping at their faces. “I remember what your love for her was like. You don’t have to worry about me. I would never betray you.”
Suddenly Sheldon was on his feet. “Thanks for the great evening,” he said. “I’m pretty tired. Think I’ll head out now.”
He was halfway through the gate when he heard George’s words. “Don’t forget that the love of God takes a lot of different forms, Sheldon. You might open yourself up a little more.”
Sheldon let the door slam behind him, the second he had slammed today. This was becoming a bad habit.
Chapter Eight
Sheldon was too worked up to go home, so he walked the streets of Aveline, stewing over the day, the sound of the men's laughter echoing in his brain, taunting him.
A long time ago, Sheldon and Sam had made a pact to be single, to live the monk life, and to leave the world of relationships in the past. They rashly vowed it back in the dark days when a woman had thrown Sam over, just after Theresa had driven away without explanation, taking Maddie with her and breaking Sheldon's heart.
The vow was nothing flashier than two broken-hearted men, hoping to shift priorities and focus on the spiritual life. Sheldon wasn't even a very good monk. He sometimes woke in the mornings for prayers, but he drank too much and yelled at his employees, and he was obsessed with antiques and Jeopardy.
Still, though, a promise was a promise. Sam had jumped ship, but Sheldon was still sailing. The world needed men who weren't chasing women, right? Who knew how to be people without having to be in a relationship? Sheldon had believed it, back when he, Sam, and Frankie were out on Sam's boat all those years ago.
The reverend hadn't promised anything about monkhood, but he might as well have, for all the attention he showed to women. After losing his wife, it seemed that he simply had no interest in anything other than his work and his daughter.
Besides the promise, there was the matter of Sheldon's heart. He had masked his immense grief for years, joking around, leaning into the dramatic when the sorrow seemed too large. But nothing in life his had ever hurt him as much as Theresa leaving. Not even his mother dying in a mental hospital when he was still a youth, not losing his father years later.
He had wondered at himself for being so desolate. Why had Theresa's disappearance hurt him so deeply? Maybe it was because of all the questions it had left behind. Was it his fault? Why wasn't he enough to make her stay? He had written the questions all through those unopened letters, and he'd still never received an answer. Not knowing tormented him.
And now Theresa was back in this small town where he owned the grocery store, and was her brother's best friend, and couldn't help bumping into her every few days. Sheldon didn't know what to do. Was there a book that wo
uld tell him how this should go? He knew George thought their whole monk life thing was a huge joke that would pass like an identity crisis. Not that George didn't believe in a life dedicated to God. But he didn't think they needed to isolate themselves from love relationships to surrender themselves to God.
"A large part of God's heart is revealed through love for another human being," George had told them. "You might not be able to fully understand all of Jesus’ love for people unless you are confronted with an angry woman and decide to walk into the room and sit down beside her, rather than running away." Then he had clutched at his arms and laughed himself helpless.
But Sam and Sheldon had been caught up by brotherhood and sorrow for the world at war and men who were cruel to women. They didn't want to be those men, so monkhood it was. Until Katie came along.
If Sam was still with him, Sheldon might know what to do. He felt alone, floating in a new sea that he hadn't been prepared for.
Theresa had killed part of Sheldon when she left. She had also taken away something he had come to cherish: a chance to be a father. It had been a terrible, monstrous thing for her to do.
Sheldon paced through the neighborhood toward the lake, muttering to himself. Reesey had wounded him, but still, he was helpless around her. He thought of her in his shop today, asking about vegetables. Theresa knew it was the only subject that would pull him out of his grumpy cloud when he was angry with her. It bothered him and touched him that she remembered.
Her face swam before him, and he sighed. Her face was lovelier than any he had ever seen; so beautiful that modeling agents approached her on the street.
Sheldon had seen her run from one agent, literally sprinting away as fast as she could go.
He smiled, remembering. They had gone to L.A. for an art show of one of Theresa's heroes. Standing outside the gallery, Reesey passionately told Sheldon everything she knew about the artist until a tall, impossibly thin woman had approached them and put a hand on Theresa's arm, interrupting her midsentence. Theresa had blinked up at the woman, clearly taken by surprise and unsure of what to do.