by A. L. Moore
"You were busy," I said hesitantly.
He tilted my chin up. It was a struggle to keep my eyes open in the sun. "You aren’t having regrets about last night, are you?”
My face flamed just thinking about it. I shook my head, “No, nothing like that.”
“Then what’s up,” he asked, stuffing his hands in his front pockets.
"It looks like everything’s back to normal with you and Tyler.”
"Pretty much,” he shrugged. “Is that what’s bothering you?”
"So that’s it," I asked failing to hide the hurt in my voice. "He just gets off the hook for what he did...or almost did. How long before I'm shipped off, Liam?"
"I'm not going to let anything happen to you," he promised, though I didn’t see how he could possibly prevent it. "Tyler will get his. Trust me.”
I wanted to trust him, but it wasn't easy. After all, he wasn't that guy.
***
I told my parents I had the flu. It was the only way I could get them to leave me alone. My body ached, so it wasn’t far from the truth. I was spent, physically and emotionally. My mom called Mr. Smith while I spent the next couple of days catching up on sleep. He knew it was a lie, but it wasn't like he could say anything. I kept the curtain pulled tight in my room and didn't even look out when I heard the bikes at night. I felt safe at home, despite the hungry eyes in my nightmares. Tom couldn't get to me here.
My parents found out about Mason, which was why they didn't give me much grief about being sick. They instantly attributed my desolated state to that of a first heartbreak.
"Do you want to talk about it?" Mom asked, sitting on the edge of my bed. I buried my head in the pillow and rolled my eyes. With everything going on in my life, Mason and Anna were the least of my concerns. "Why didn't you tell me?" She asked concerned. "When I saw them holding hands at the movies, I was stunned. I nearly hit that poor girl."
Moving the pillow, I couldn’t help but laugh at the thought of my mom raising a hand to a mosquito much less a person. “Mom, you did not.”
“Okay,” she sighed. “It was still a shock.”
"I really don't want to talk about this. I feel bad enough already.”
"I didn't realize you two were having trouble," she said, stroking my matted hair. I really needed a shower. It had been days since my head had felt water, much less soap. Her babying made me feel worse, guilty for the lying and sneaking around. I jerked away, my head pounding from too much sleep.
"Leave me alone!" I hated to raise my voice, but it was the only way. I wasn’t ready to show my hand yet. I didn’t know if I ever would.
Mom was quiet for a moment. I hadn't yelled at her since middle school. "Fine," she said firmly, hurt evident in her crinkled eyes. "It sounds like you’re feeling better. Mr. Smith said he has you down to open."
I pulled the pillow over my face. "I'm not going back to that stupid job! Tell him I quit."
"I will do no such thing.” Her voice had a finality that told me better than to argue.
"I can't quit?" I blanched.
"That’s up to you, but you will tell Mr. Smith in person, and work a two weeks’ notice," she insisted. “That’s just how things are done.”
"Two weeks?" I asked disbelieving. I couldn't go back there, definitely not for two weeks.
"That's standard notice, Justice," Dad said from the hall. "A job is a responsibility. It's not like when you quit dance. What you do now will follow you for the rest of your life. Besides, Mr. Smith will need time to hire a replacement." They didn’t know what they were saying. If Mr. Smith replaced me, I might not have a life anymore.
I didn’t say anything else. I wanted them to leave me alone, and when they did, I wished they hadn’t. I wanted protection from this mess, but there was no way I could protect them if they were protecting me.
The next time the window rattled, I pulled the curtain aside. There was no need; I could’ve identified that bike blindfolded. The only reason I looked was because the engine continued to growl outside my house, beckoning me to come to it. I peeked through the blind, spotting Liam in all his black clad glory. His eyes were set on my window, motioning for me to come out, but I shook my head. The engine snarled angrily and with a spin of the tires, he took off. I regretted my decision immediately.
Chapter 14. Getting Out
The items in the bag were a mystery, and I had just rung them up. I handed the man the bag and sat back on the stool. I wasn’t trying to look busy anymore. Tom was hectic on the floor, and for the most part, had left me alone. When he did speak, it was cordial, and that bothered me more than if he’d yelled. I was tired of playing two-faced games. His fake smile didn’t fool me. I knew he wanted to yell. He probably wanted to do other things too, and it was those thoughts that kept me behind the counter.
I was afraid to go into the stockroom, and each time a candy barrel needed refilling, my legs trembled to numbness. Robyn was on the schedule, but since she’d had to cover for me the past few days, she’d taken the day off. It wasn’t so bad when customers were in the store. It was when the bell hadn’t chimed in a while that I wanted to bolt.
“Tom…Mr. Smith,” I started as a family browsed the fishing tackle. “I put my two weeks’ notice underneath the cash drawer.”
“So soon?” he said, feigning surprise. “You’ve barely started.”
I knew he was playing a part, saying what he thought he should in front of the customers. It was easy to see through the façade now that I was a part of it.
“I just don’t think this is the right job for me,” I played along.
Courtney Grant a volleyball player from my school tugged on her dad’s arm excitedly as she listened to our conversation. I felt like I should warn her, but I didn’t. She wouldn’t have listened anyway. I sure hadn’t. Tom went back to sweeping, and I hurried to wait on the customer at the register.
Tom locked the front door earlier than usual. It was barely three, but I went ahead and grabbed my stuff. I wasn’t due off for another hour, but something odd was up. We never closed this early during the week. Tom turned the sign around in the window as I started for the door.
“Just a minute,” he said, stopping me by the elbow. I cringed at his cold fingers. I couldn’t remember him touching me before. “We have a few things to go over before you leave.”
I held my breath. This was what I’d been dreading since I’d walked through the door this morning. Tom started for the stock room and motioned for me to follow. My legs turned to dried cement. I wanted to run out the front and trip the alarm. Instead, I shuffled behind him into the darkness. He closed the door behind me, and for a moment, there was complete darkness. When a light flicked on, I saw Tyler sitting on the single cot, dressed in jeans and his riding jacket, his arms resting on his thighs. I felt the blood drain from my face. I turned to run, but Tom had braced himself in front of the door.
“Calm down, Justice,” Tyler said cautiously, approaching slowly as if I were a caged animal. “I just want to talk to you.”
“So why didn’t you come in the store?” I asked skeptically, clinching my fists.
His long fingers tightly grasped my hand, a sharp pain shooting through my wrist. “And risk you making a scene?" Not loosening his grip, he continued to stare me down. “Tom said you quit today.”
“I did, but it wasn’t because of you,” I lied quickly, fooling no one. They both chuckled.
Tyler gave me a knowing smile and pulled me closer to the bed. “Have a seat, Justice.” He patted the twin sized mattress next to him. “I’m not going to hurt you.”
I wiped a tear from my cheek and took a step back instead.
“If you sit down, Tom will unlock the door and leave,” he offered.
I glanced back to Tom and then to Tyler, debating. I didn’t trust either of them, but I didn’t have much choice. I sat down next to Tyler and closed my eyes. I’d prefer my assault without an audience. To my surprise, I heard the lock click. When I looked up, the
door was open, and Tom was gone.
“I’m hearing some stuff I don’t like,” Tyler said, his fingers pressing into my mid-thigh. “What’s going on with you and Liam?” I despised Tyler so much in that moment. I almost told him the truth. Then, I saw the camera tucked between two cases of boiled peanuts with the lens cap hanging off.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about?” I insisted.
He rubbed his overgrown goatee, debating. “That’s what Liam said, too.
I put my hand on top of his when it inched closer to my shorts. “No,” I said firmly.
“If this is about the thing with Marco,” he started. “I didn’t know anything about it. Liam did the negotiating with Tom, maybe it was his idea.” That was a low blow. I didn’t believe him for a second.
“It’s not that,” I croaked before clearing my throat. “Things are just crazy right now. I don’t know what I want.” It was best to stick with my original story. “It wouldn’t be fair to ask you to wait.”
“I’ve got nothing but time,” he said, snaking his arm across my shoulder.
“Why are you really quitting the store?” he asked, cocking his head to the side. “Are you talking to the cops?”
I shook my head vehemently. “I’d never do that.”
He considered my answer, his eyes roaming over the small amount of cleavage visible from my white tank top. “So, you’ll still be around?”
“Of course,” I insisted. “I just don’t want to work my last few weeks of summer.”
He nuzzled my neck, the prickly hair on his face like nails on a chalkboard against my skin. “Tyler, please don’t.”
He held his hands up like a bank robber, with a crooked grin. “I wouldn’t be me if I didn’t try.”
Freed from his hands, I quickly stood to my feet. “How much time do I have?” I asked, edging to the door. “Before Marco…”
Tyler brushed off my words with the wave of his hand. “Marco stays so messed up. He probably forgot you the minute he drove off. Jayson blows things out of proportion, he and Liam both. They’re worse than two women. Besides, Marco’s got more than he can handle in that department.” Tyler could’ve been lying. He probably was, but I wanted so badly to believe him. I had to. The truth was too much to deal with.
Liam was in the ally when Tyler opened the back door and let me out. He looked at Tyler questioningly and then hopped on his bike.
“Everything cool?” Liam asked, snapping his helmet in place.
Tyler must’ve agreed because Liam passed me before I made it to the sidewalk. He didn’t even look in my direction. That was probably a good thing. I’d gotten rid of Tom and Tyler. It would be smart to let Liam go, too. I watched the back of his t-shirt ruffle against the wind until he turned at the light.
My mom wasn’t due to pick me up for another half hour, so I started walking. After being in the darkness of the storeroom, the blistering sun was a welcoming sight. The wind was nonexistent, and the asphalt carried a heat that penetrated my thin sandals. I hopped up on the curb, balancing like a gymnast. My house was only fifteen minutes away when the familiar strum of an engine sounded in the distance. I moved a step back to the grass, crossed my arms and waited for him to round the corner. It was better to cut all ties at once. The shiny chrome fender broke through the haze, stopping where I stood.
“Get on,” Liam said without as much as a smile. His hair pulled back at his neck, he held the helmet he’d been wearing out to me.
What was one last ride?
I didn’t hesitate, climbing on behind him and wrapping my arms tightly around his waist. His shirt, warmed from the sun, felt good despite my heated skin. I closed my eyes as the interstate approached. I didn’t care to see where he was taking me. It didn’t matter as long as he was there. I wasn’t worried with Liam. I didn’t know his family, where he lived, or even how old he was, but I felt safe. He wouldn’t let anything happen to me.
The afternoon sun blinded us as we slowed. Liam turned into a gravel drive that led to a small, pale-grey house with a steep roof. It wasn’t as big as my house, and the porch was bare of anything except a crooked number seven hanging next to the door. Liam climbed off the bike and reached for my hand.
“Where are we?” I asked, looking back toward the gravel road we’d turned off. Just like the cabin, there were no other houses in sight. To a passerby, the place could’ve been abandoned.
“My house,” he said, securing the helmet behind the seat of the bike. “I wanted to talk to you. With Tyler snooping, I thought this would be the safest place.”
Following him inside, the house was cleaner than I expected. A bunch of car magazines stacked neatly on a table by the door where he dropped his keys. There weren’t any dishes in the sink of the small kitchen. The living room took up a good part of the house. It was bigger than the outside let on. Like Robyn’s, the walls were free of any personal touches, except for a flat screen television.
A breakfast bar with black topped stools separated the living area from the kitchen. Liam led me over to a black futon sofa along the wall next to the stools. I waited for him to speak, but the moment our eyes locked, his turned to quicksand, and he kissed me instead. That familiar feeling simmered deep, and I didn’t fight it. It was like stepping off the Tilt-a-Whirl at the fair. I couldn’t focus clearly. There was so much out of control in my life. I’d lost Mason. Tyler was never going to leave me alone. Tonya and Marco were after me. Robyn hated me. The only thing I could trust was that I wanted Liam, badly. From the look in his eyes, he felt exactly the same way.
He pulled me into his lap and skimmed his lips lightly down my throat. “Did Tyler touch you?” he breathed against my skin.
I shivered and shook my head no, not wanting to stir those memories. We needed to talk about last night. I didn’t know how he felt about me. Was he my boyfriend now? Did having sex make us a couple? I was about to ask when he reached over his shoulder and tugged his shirt off in one fluid movement, tossing it to the worn, wooden floor. I ran my hands down his muscled chest and then moved to his arms, slowing over his ink. My hands weren’t shaking this time as I traced the pattern.
His lips inched to my collar as he shifted above me. I could feel his heart pounding against mine. This was wrong. The rational part of my brain was screaming for him to stop. What I was doing was wrong on so many levels, but I didn’t care. I had done nothing but over think everything for the past seventeen years. It was my turn to live, to divulge in the freedom others enjoyed. I ran my fingers through his long hair liked I’d imagined doing since the first time I’d laid eyes on him.
***
When we came up for air, the light coming through the window was only a soft glow giving way to the night. Liam’s chest moved slowly with each breath as he held me, his heated lips against my bare shoulder. “This isn’t why I brought you here.” I turned over and looked at him knowingly. We could’ve talked about Tyler anywhere. We didn’t need to come to his house. “Not entirely,” he grinned sheepishly.
“Good because this isn’t why I came,” I said, wrapping my arms around his neck. “Not entirely.”
“You’re so beautiful, Justice.” He kissed my forehead tenderly, stroking from my hairline down to my cheek. “What the hell are you doing with me?”
I wanted to give him a profound answer to his question. One that would stop the guilt eating away at my stomach that we were doing something wrong. I wanted to tell him how much I cared about him. How much I loved him. But that wasn’t the case. Not yet anyway.
“Are you hungry?” he asked, shrugging into his jeans, not bothering to button them. “I’m starving.” I pulled the patchwork quilt around me and watched as he rifled through the refrigerator. “There’s some left-over Chinese,” he said, holding two small, covered, white boxes.
“How left over?”
“Couple of days,” he said, sticking them into the microwave. “Still smells okay.
In no time, the tangy smell of sweet and sour s
auce filled the room. My stomach rumbled greedily.
“What did Tyler want?” he asked, rounding the futon.
“Just asked me about you,” I said, taking the caving, paper box from his hand and pulling my legs beneath me. “He nearly scared me to death.”
Liam plopped down next to me already chewing. “I would’ve warned you, but I didn’t know he was coming over.
“What did you tell him?”
“Same as you,” I said, burning my tongue on a piece of rice. “That nothing was going on.”
He nodded, “That’s probably for the best, at least until we know for sure what’s going on with Marco.”
Marco’s name alone twisted my insides into painful knots. I sat the box on the coffee table and laid my head back against the comfy, black mattress while he ate.
“What is going on with us, Liam?”
He grinned, dunking the rest of an eggroll into gooey red sauce. “You tell me.”
I hadn’t expected him to turn the tables on me. I had nothing. He chuckled at my dumbstruck expression as I searched for clothes.
“I honestly don’t know,” he said retrieving my shorts from the floor and passing them to me. “I do know I was worried about you this week,” he continued, his lips taking the last of the sweet sauce from the fork as he watched me dress. “I was beginning to think you really were sick.”
Plopping next to him, I crossed my legs in front of me and speared an eggroll. I felt more like eating with my clothes on. “In a matter of speaking, I was,” I muttered.
We finished our old Chinese in a comfortable silence that had taken months to reach with Mason. It must’ve been the sex. Eating didn’t seem as personal after that.
“I quit my job at the store,” I said, dropping the fork into the sink. “Well, I turned my notice in.”
“I remember when I quit the store,” he said as he cleared the boxes. “I packed a bag and took off on my bike.” He ambled into the kitchen and threw the boxes into the trash.
“Where did you go?”
“Not far enough,” he said, dusting crumbs from the futon mattress and drawing me to his side. “I was eighteen and stupid.