“Okay. But I promise I’ll be fine,” she insisted.
I tilted her chin up and kissed her, and I wasn’t prepared for the floodgate of memories that were unleashed the second my lips touched hers. Was it always going to be like this? Would I always remember every moment, every touch, every kiss, every word we’d said?
I really hoped so. Because I never wanted to forget it. No matter how many times came after this, no matter how much less awkward it would be next time, what we’d shared last night went way beyond just a physical connection. If words existed to describe it, I didn’t know them.
“I love you,” I said, my lips still touching hers.
“I love you too.”
“I’ll be back in a few hours.”
“I’m not going anywhere,” she chuckled. “Go.”
I stole another kiss, then reluctantly stood up and walked out the door, making sure to lock it behind me.
As I got into my car and drove toward the church I’d been attending for as long as I could remember, my chest started to tighten and my fingers gripped the steering wheel so tight that my knuckles turned white. I honestly didn’t know how I was supposed to sit in those pews and look up at that pulpit, knowing that the man who was spouting Bible verses at us had come a hair’s breadth away from sexually assaulting his own daughter last night. I’d barely been able to stomach his sermons since he’d basically admitted to abusing Darla while the whole congregation ate it up with a spoon almost four years ago, but now? Now, it was going to take superhuman strength for me to stop myself from beating the shit out of him in front of that entire congregation.
When I pulled into the parking lot, I saw my parents and Nathan walking toward the building, and inspiration struck. I knew exactly how to bring my girl’s spirits back up.
It had been pretty hilarious – and equally adorable – last year when, out of the blue one afternoon, Nathan told Darla and I that he wasn’t stupid and he knew we were boyfriend and girlfriend. He understood why we weren’t telling anyone and he’d been keeping our secret ever since, so I knew he’d be able to handle not telling anyone about her hiding out at my apartment while we were figuring things out. And if anyone could put a smile on Darla’s face right now, it was him.
I took the key out of the ignition and grabbed my Bible off the front seat, then jogged up behind my brother and caught him in a headlock, giving him a noogie.
“Aw, come on, Brendan!” he complained. “Why’d you mess my hair up?”
“I thought that was the big brother’s job. To mess up the hair of all younger siblings,” I teased as I let go of him.
“No, it’s not!” he groaned, trying to smooth his hair down.
“I see you’re coming to church again,” my mom bit out.
I rolled my eyes. We’d been over this. Numerous times. And I knew it wasn’t really my work hours and lack of church attendance that had her behaving like this toward me. It was the fact that I’d moved out of the house and forced her to start being an actual parent to her son.
“While I’m working on this site, anyway,” I said, using all of my willpower not to turn this into a fight. I wanted something from her, and if I stooped down to her level, the chances of my getting it went down. “Do you guys have plans this afternoon?”
“No. Why?” my dad asked.
“Can Nate come home with me between services? I’ll bring him back to the service tonight myself. We haven’t gotten to hang out in a while.”
Yep. I was subjecting myself to having to listen to Poser – I mean Pastor – Abraham Jones twice in one day just so Nathan could come home with me this afternoon. That was how sure I was that seeing him was exactly what Darla needed right now.
“Please, Dad?” Nathan begged, giving both of them his best puppy dog eyes.
“I guess,” he sighed.
“Yes!” Nathan exclaimed, fist-pumping the air like he’d just won the lottery.
I laughed and ruffled his hair again, and he turned and narrowed his eyes at me as he grated his hand over it to smooth it back down. I tried not to laugh, but I wasn’t entirely successful, and a snicker escaped me. Even at seven going on sixteen with an attitude to match, he was still the only one other than Darla who could make me smile no matter what was happening in my life.
“Brendan,” I heard a breathless voice say from behind me as I was about to open the door to the sanctuary.
I turned around and found a panicked-looking Naomi standing next to Alex, who looked equally as upset.
“Hey, guys. What’s up?” I asked, wishing like hell that we were alone so I could really talk to them.
“Naomi,” Abraham’s voice boomed from behind us, so loud that it made me jump.
My heart started racing at a million miles a minute and my hand involuntarily balled into a fist as I turned to look at him. His eyes were hard and angry and his hair was unkempt, like he hadn’t even bothered to take a brush to it when he got out of bed this morning. And the scowl he was wearing made him look like the monster he was.
“Yes, Pastor Jones?” Naomi said quietly.
“Where. Is. Darla?” he growled.
“What are you talking about, sir?” she murmured, putting on a hell of an act.
“You’re her only friend. Do you really expect me to believe she didn’t tell you where she’s gone?” he spat.
“You mean she’s not at home?” she asked innocently.
“You know she’s not. Gloria called your mother last night.”
“Yes, sir. I knew that, and I told my mom I hadn’t heard from her. But I didn’t realize that she still hadn’t come home,” she said quickly. “I’m sorry, Pastor Jones.”
He tore his eyes away from her and looked first at Alex, then at me. His gaze penetrated me like a knife, and somehow, I felt like no matter what I said, he’d see the truth written all over my face.
Please, Jesus, help me, I prayed. I can’t do this alone. I can’t keep her safe by myself. I need Your help.
“Do either of you know anything about my daughter?” he barked.
“No, sir,” I said, surprised at how easily the lie rolled off my tongue.
“This is the first I’m even hearing about this,” Alex added.
His focus returned to Naomi, and she turned slightly toward Alex. He put an arm around her, and she cowered into his side, but didn’t break eye contact with Darla’s father.
“You know, withholding information damns her as much as yourselves.” His voice was ice-cold, and I could hear the veiled threat in his words. The promise that if we knew something and didn’t tell him, he’d make sure we paid for it. “She’s turned from the path of righteousness, and her ways must be corrected.”
With that, he turned around and stormed into the sanctuary.
“Please say she’s with you,” Naomi whispered as soon as he was out of earshot, her eyes wide with panic.
I nodded. “Not here. But yes.”
Her shoulders sagged and she halfway collapsed in Alex’s arms as she sighed in relief. Alex dropped a kiss on her head, then looked at me.
“Someone want to clue me in on what the hell’s going on?” he asked quietly.
I sighed. “He…he saw Frank yesterday. At the job site.”
Naomi covered a gasp with her hand. “Oh, my God. No.”
“You told her about that?” I asked Alex, raising an eyebrow at him.
He snorted. “I might have mentioned it. So, what happened?”
I shook my head. “Not my story to tell. Um, can you guys come by after church? Nate’s coming home with me too. She needs her friends.”
“I’ll have to talk to my mom, but it should be okay,” Naomi said.
“She can’t—”
“Unlike him, she doesn’t ask questions,” she cut me off.
“I’m there,” Alex added. “Whatever you guys need.”
I cracked half a smile. It was actually kind of amazing how much Naomi had changed him. Well, I wasn’t sure if changed was the
right word. He’d always been a good guy, but she just brought it out of him more. Made him not as afraid to show it.
“Come on. Let’s get in there,” I sighed.
A knot formed in my stomach as I opened the door to the sanctuary and walked inside. It felt like I was walking right through the gates of Hell, not walking into a church service. I found a seat toward the back so that I could get out quickly if Darla called me, and Alex and Naomi sat down next to me. Abraham sat in his chair up at the pulpit, like a demonic king on a throne, still wearing the same scowl on his face.
The choir stood up and started singing “Nothing But the Blood,” and I felt bile rising in my throat as I watched the pastor of this church, the same man who’d backed his completely naked daughter against a wall and refused to let her cover herself yesterday – and who I knew without a doubt would have done so much worse if his wife hadn’t stopped him – singing about the blood of Jesus washing away his sins. Nope. There was no amount of holy blood that could wash away the stain on his black soul. Not when he wasn’t really repentant.
“Before we begin this morning, I have some distressing news to share,” Abraham said as he walked up to the podium. “I’m sure you all know my daughter, Darla. She’s been straying from the path of righteousness for a very long time, and yesterday, my wife and I were devastated to find that she’d left home.”
Scattered gasps and murmuring broke out all over the sanctuary, and I took a few deep breaths to calm myself as I realized that the highly esteemed Pastor Jones now had an entire congregation of people who would blindly take what he was saying at face value and be willing to do the dirty work to locate Darla for him. Naomi covertly reached over and squeezed my hand, and when I looked at her, she gave me a sad smile. She knew what this meant as much as I did.
“We’ve been praying and looking, but we haven’t been successful in locating her,” Abraham continued. “We love our daughter very much, and I confess that we’re feeling lost at the moment, wondering what we’ve done to cause her to travel down this unholy path. We all know the Lord forgives all of us our sins, even when we stray from His path and His will for our lives. I’m asking all of you to pray for my daughter’s soul, to pray that the Lord works a miracle in her life and leads her back home. And please, if you notice any sign of her whereabouts, let us know. My daughter is troubled, but I still love her very much, and I just want her home and safe with me. Let’s all join together in prayer and ask the Lord to work a miracle in her life.”
Fucking slimy bastard. How could he stand up there with his crocodile tears and fake distress, telling everyone in this congregation that Darla was the one who had done something wrong? Acting like he was scared for her safety because he didn’t know her whereabouts, when I knew the only thing he was scared of was her opening her mouth and spilling her guts about all the horrors he’d subjected her to.
He knew damn good and well that she was safer now than she had ever been. Because safe for Darla was staying as far away from him as possible. And he’d just made that exponentially more difficult.
Chapter 24
Darla
Luv Is a Verb
A lump rose in my throat as I heard the apartment door close and lock. Suddenly, it hit me that I was alone here and that, for the first time since I could remember, I was missing church. It wasn’t so much that I was sad about missing the sermon. I was sad about missing the fellowship. Getting to hang out with Naomi in youth group and seeing Nathan for a few minutes.
Oh, God. I had no idea when I’d see that sweet little boy next. He wouldn’t understand why I’d just suddenly stopped coming to church and, unlike our reasoning for keeping our relationship a secret, this was one thing that Brendan and I couldn’t explain to him. He was way too young to be told about why I’d run away from home.
I took a few deep breaths and forced myself not to cry. I’d cried enough in the past twenty-four hours. And crying wouldn’t change anything or make the tightness in my chest and the knot in the pit of my stomach go away. What I needed was to get my friends over here and try to figure out what in the hell my next move was.
As I went to get up so I could get changed into some real clothes, the twinge of soreness between my legs and the burning in my thigh and calf muscles reminded me of what had happened last night, and I felt warmth radiating through my whole body as I let the memories overtake me. The way Brendan had kissed me, the way he’d touched me, the way he’d put all of his focus on me, even though everything was just as new and intense for him as it was for me…it was everything. Every girl deserved a first time as beautiful and perfect and romantic as that.
I got up and went into the bathroom, grabbing the ibuprofen out of Brendan’s medicine cabinet. Rinsing out his toothbrush glass, I filled it up with some water so I could swallow the pills. And then it hit me. I hadn’t even had time to grab my toothbrush or shampoo or any other toiletries. And I was sure my dad was going to cut my debit card off first thing tomorrow morning, so I couldn’t even get any of that stuff at the store. Even if he didn’t, he’d be able to see where I’d charged the card, which would only make it easier for him to find me. I literally had no way of getting basic supplies and necessities.
Left with no other choice, I used Brendan’s toothbrush to brush my teeth, then grabbed a t-shirt, some yoga pants, and panties out of my duffel bag. After getting changed, I unplugged my phone from where Brendan had left it charging last night and dialed Kate’s number.
“Darla?” she answered on the third ring. “Are you okay?”
“No,” I mumbled.
“What’s wrong, hon?” she asked me. “Ash, stop it!”
I hated interrupting her time with Ashton, but I needed them. Both of them. And I had no idea how to make her understand how bad this was without going into the whole Reader’s Digest version over the phone.
And then I remembered. The day I’d finally broken down and told them about my dad, they’d given me a code word to use if I needed help immediately. I didn’t need them to call the police for me, but I was hiding out at my boyfriend’s apartment because I didn’t feel safe going home. That qualified, right?
“Snickerdoodle,” I sniffled.
“Ohmygod,” she gasped, then took a deep breath. “Ash, get dressed. Now.”
I heard Ashton talking in the background, but I couldn’t make out what they were saying.
“I don’t know. I just know it’s bad,” I heard her say, sounding like she was holding the phone away from her ear. Then her voice was louder again. “What do you need, hon? Where are you?”
“I’m at Brendan’s,” I said as tears started trickling down my cheeks. “I can’t go home, Kate. I can’t. I’m sorry to just call you like this, but—”
“Stop it,” she cut me off. “That’s what friends are for. Is Brendan with you now?”
“No,” I choked out. “He had to go to church so my dad wouldn’t realize I was here. And I really don’t want to be alone.”
“Deep breaths, Darla. We’re leaving in five minutes. I’m going to text you when we’re outside. Do not open that door for anyone until you know who’s on the other side. Okay?”
I took as deep of a breath as I could manage. “Okay.”
“Okay. We’ll see you soon,” she said.
“Kate,” I sobbed, throwing my arms around my friend’s neck the second she walked in the door.
She gave me a tight squeeze, and Ashton walked in and locked the door behind them before joining in on the hug, wrapping their arms around both of us.
“We’ve got you, honey,” they whispered. “You’re gonna be okay.”
“And, even better, we’ve got cookies,” Kate chuckled weakly. “My mom made a batch of snickerdoodles yesterday. I’m not even kidding.”
I couldn’t help it. I snorted.
“Really?” I asked.
“Yep. Breakfast of champions,” Ashton teased. “Your man have any coffee in this place?”
“I think so?” I said,
like it was a question. I honestly had no idea.
They squeezed my arm. “Take care of our girl, sunshine. I’ll go dig through the cupboards and see what I can find.”
“Come on, hon. Let’s go sit,” Kate said, pulling out of the hug and leading me toward the couch.
I sat down, hugging my knees and resting my chin on them as I tried to stop the tears. And Kate didn’t say a single word. She just sat down next to me and wrapped her arms around me, letting me cry.
God, why couldn’t I stop crying? Why couldn’t I stop thinking about what my dad had done? Why couldn’t I forget the way he’d looked at me like I was a piece of meat while I was cowering on the floor without a stitch of clothing on, or the tone of his voice as he whispered that Bible verse to me? Or how dirty and wrong I’d felt as his arousal pressed against my stomach? Why couldn’t I shake the fear that he’d break that door down at any minute and drag me out of here by my hair just so he could do God knew what to me when we got back home?
“You’re safe, Darla,” Kate whispered. “Even if he comes barging through that door right now, he’ll have to get through both of us to get to you. And we both know Ash can throw down. You know, now that they’re a black belt.”
I turned to look at Ashton, who was starting a pot of coffee in the kitchen. “I’m so sad I missed your ceremony yesterday, Ash.”
“It’s okay, honey,” they said. “The important thing is, I’ll knock that motherfucker into the next millennium before he even lays a finger on you ever again.”
That just made me start crying all over again. Strangely, that was almost the worst part out of all of this. The fact that my dad hadn’t physically hurt me this time. It was literally just my word against his. I wished I could call the police about this, but I couldn’t. At least not until I was eighteen and Brendan and I were married, so he’d have no more power over me. After that, I’d tell them everything and let them figure out what they could still charge him with.
“What happened, hon?” Kate asked quietly. “I hate not knowing how to help you.”
My Vows Are Sealed (Sealed With a Kiss) Page 26