My Vows Are Sealed (Sealed With a Kiss)

by Carmen Richter

  “I mean, I think the job’s a good fit for you. You’ve always been amazing with kids, and all the kids at our church already love you and respect you. So if they’re willing to help you go to school and get your youth ministry degree, at least give the trial run a shot and see if it’s something you can see yourself doing for the rest of your life. I think you’ve spent so long putting me first and just focusing on how you could get me out of the bad situation I was in that you haven’t really taken the time to ask yourself what you want. This is a chance for you to do that.”

  “What I want is you, Dar,” he murmured, his voice thick with emotion as he pulled back to look at me. “You’re the only thing that matters to me. And I almost lost you. I can’t close my eyes at night and not see you curled up on the living room floor, fighting to your last breath to protect our baby. So the only thing that matters to me is making sure that I give both of you the best life I can. A life where you don’t want for anything and where you’re not living in fear every second of every day. This job is a way for me to be able to provide for you and be home with you most nights, and that’s what’s important to me.”

  My heart melted and broke at the same time as I pulled him in for a kiss, pouring everything I felt for him into it. The confusion and uncertainty about the future, but also my faith and hope that God had a plan for us and would provide for us somehow. His hand slid down to the small of my back, pressing me further against him, and I slipped my hand under his shirt, trailing my fingers along his side, his back, and even his abs and chest. He sucked in a sharp breath as he slid his hand up my side, pushing my shirt up with it.

  As I brought my lips back to his, instead of continuing my exploration upward, I slid my hand down his stomach and toyed with the hem of his boxers. I immediately mourned the loss of his hand on my skin as he reached down to grab my hand. I couldn’t explain why, but knowing that he didn’t want me right now the way I wanted him made tears sting my eyes. I knew it was irresponsible and I knew that the doctor had told me to take it easy, but the doctor hadn’t almost died. The doctor hadn’t watched the love of her life get led away from her in handcuffs for a crime he hadn’t committed. The doctor had absolutely no idea what that felt like, so she couldn’t possibly understand my need to be close to my fiancé tonight.

  “Baby, the doctor…” he trailed off.

  “I know what the doctor said,” I whispered, my voice thick with my unshed tears. “But I almost died, Brendan. Our baby almost died. I watched you get led away from me in handcuffs while the police left me with the man who tried to kill me. And even though the danger’s over, everything’s changing all around me faster than I can keep up with. I need the one thing in my life that’s never changed. You won’t hurt me. I trust you.”

  He hesitated for a minute, then rolled me onto my back and gently lifted me up so he could pull my nightshirt off. In the dim moonlight coming through the window, I saw his nostrils flare slightly as he looked down at me with my wrapped abdomen and fading bruises. His fingers hooked in my panties and he tugged them down and pulled them off before shedding his clothes and crawling between my legs, resting his weight on his arms, not letting me bear even an extra ounce of it.

  “Everything in me is saying this is a horrible idea,” he sighed.

  “I know,” I sniffled, unable to stop a tear from leaking out of my eye. “But I can’t help it. I need you.”

  He wiped it away with his thumb and cupped my cheek in his hand as he kissed me with so much love and tenderness that it made another lump rise in my throat.

  “I need you too, Dar,” he murmured against my lips. “More than you know. I’ve never been as scared in my whole life as I was on Saturday.”

  He started to reach toward his nightstand, but I grabbed his hand and stopped him. There was no point in using protection now.

  “I’m already pregnant,” I reminded him.

  That earned me a chuckle and another kiss, and he bent one of my legs up slightly, tilting my hips upward, as he slid inside me. I opened my mouth, but no sound came out as I felt the pure ecstasy of finally being connected to him with no barriers between us.

  “Oh, God,” I whispered, unable to speak any louder.

  “You feel like heaven, baby,” he murmured, claiming my lips again. “I want you to let me do the work, okay? I don’t want to hurt you.”

  “You won’t hurt me,” I insisted. “Make love to me, Brendan.”

  I didn’t have to say that twice. His lips were back on mine as he proceeded to make slow, sweet, tender love to me. And for a little while, it was almost like nothing had changed. For a little while, we weren’t scared kids about to have a baby. I wasn’t scarred and damaged from a lifetime’s worth of trauma, and he wasn’t trying to figure out how to protect and take care of me and our child.

  In this perfect moment, he was just a boy and I was just a girl, and the only thing that mattered was that we loved each other. Maybe we were young, and maybe we didn’t have a clue what the future held for us, but none of that mattered. If God had brought us this far, I knew He’d continue to see us through. He’d created the whole universe, and He’d made Brendan and I specifically for each other, so I knew He’d keep guiding us on the path He wanted us to follow.

  And for once, when I looked down that path, I didn’t see any pain or fear. I just saw the happily ever after that we’d fought so hard for.

  Epilogue

  Brendan

  Cry

  DECEMBER 2001

  A knock sounded on my office door, and Alex got up to answer it. He, Ethan, and I were hanging out in Peter’s old office, which was now my office, killing time until the wedding ceremony started.

  Nathan walked in wearing the tuxedo that Peter and Marie had bought for him because my parents refused to pay a cent for anything having to do with what they called “this farce of a wedding.” Well, that was what my mom called it. My dad just made incoherent grunting and grumbling sounds when I said anything about it.

  “Hey, bud,” I said with a smile as he walked around my desk to hug me. “You’re not wearing your tie.”

  “Dad wouldn’t help me with it,” he mumbled, holding the royal blue tie out to me.

  I honestly didn’t even understand why my parents were still married. My mom was still completely brainwashed and under Abraham’s thumb, and she’d even made trips to the Edgefield Federal Correctional Institution to visit him a couple of times. And my dad…well, he was only slightly more responsive than a ventriloquist’s dummy. Without the ventriloquist attached. My mom had broken his trust and completely humiliated him in front of the entire church congregation, but he claimed he was following the Lord’s path and didn’t believe in divorce. Personally, I thought the more likely scenario was that he just wanted to keep punishing my mom for the rest of her life. But at this point, it was more of a financial arrangement than an actual marriage.

  I didn’t pay much attention to them, though, and the only attention they paid to me was when we were discussing Nathan’s schedule. I forced myself to be civil to them for his sake, because neither Darla nor I could stand to lose the relationship we had with our brother, and we definitely wanted to make sure that he was in our daughter’s life when she was born (yes, we knew that we were having a daughter now – we’d found out last month). And, frankly, they were just glad for the free child care because they knew we’d never say no to spending time with him.

  “I’ve got you covered,” I told Nathan, taking the tie from him and flipping the collar of his shirt up so I could wrap it around his neck.

  “Look at you. You’re a youth pastor for all of three months, and suddenly you’re a pro at tying ties,” Ethan chuckled.

  It surprised even me how close Alex and I had gotten with Ethan since everything went down with Abraham. But after he’d reported his abuse to the police with the sole goal of helping Darla’s case, not realizing that the statute of limitations hadn’t expired and he had a chance of getting justice for him
self too, I couldn’t deny that he’d turned over a new leaf. The troubled boy with the chip on his shoulder had grown into one of the most honest, hard-working, and loyal men I knew.

  “I have to dress for the job,” I reminded him. “I’m just glad they decided to make it official and help me get my degree, because I’ve found my calling. I love working with these kids.”

  “How’s getting your degree going to work with the school year halfway over already?” Alex asked.

  “I’ve started applying to seminaries around the area, and they agreed to let me start college in the fall,” I explained. “Then I can help more with the baby for the first few months.”

  “It’s so weird that you’re gonna be a dad in three months,” Nathan said, flashing a big, goofy grin.

  “Yeah, it is,” I agreed. “But exciting too. You’re still going to help me paint the nursery walls when Darla and I get back from our honeymoon, right?”

  “Yep!” he exclaimed. “Did she pick out colors yet?”

  “She did. Light purple and beige.”

  There was a rap on the door, and Ethan cracked it open so Peter could walk in.

  “It’s about that time, gentlemen,” he announced with a smile. “You ready? Nate, look at you in that suit and tie!”

  Nathan grinned. “Brendan helped with my tie ‘cause my dad wouldn’t.”

  “That’s what big brothers are for,” Peter chuckled. “Everyone else ready?”

  “Yep,” Alex said, coming and clapping me on the shoulder. “Come on, man. Let’s go get you married.”

  “About damn time,” Ethan chortled. “Let’s get this show on the road.”

  Peter led us out of my office and sent Alex, Ethan, and Nathan to meet with the bridal party in the lobby while leading me into the sanctuary through the door in the back of the office alcove so I wouldn’t get a glimpse of Darla before the ceremony. Yeah, I’d woken up next to her this morning, but she still refused to let me see her in her wedding dress before she walked down the aisle. She said we’d done everything else about this wedding non-traditionally, so she just wanted to keep one wedding tradition intact.

  “You ready for this?” Peter asked as we walked up to the altar.

  I smiled. “It feels like I’ve been waiting my whole life for this day. So, yeah, I’m ready.”

  “Do you know how much you remind me of myself at your age?” he chuckled.

  “I’m going to take that as a compliment.”

  “You should. Love like you and Darla have is a rare and beautiful thing. Too many people take it for granted. But you and I know better than most that we should never take the blessings God gives us for granted.”

  Heather, who was studying broadcast communication at college and had offered her services as our sound technician today, changed the music from the mix CD of Christian dad rock that Darla had given her to play before the ceremony to an instrumental version of Jars of Clay’s “Love Song for a Savior,” and the doors in the back of the room opened.

  Ashton and Nathan walked in first. Yeah, Nathan was one of my groomsmen, because he was that important to both me and Darla. Next came Kate, accompanied by Ethan, and Naomi, accompanied by Alex. Darla had chosen blue plaid skirts that looked almost like Catholic school uniforms and lacy ivory-colored tops for her bridesmaids, and Ashton was wearing a more genderfluid version of that. They’d gone with a blue kilt in the same pattern, and instead of the feminine top, they’d worn an ivory suit jacket over a white button-down shirt.

  Then the music changed to an instrumental version of Switchfoot’s “Only Hope,” and the congregation stood as Gloria and Darla appeared at the back of the room.

  All of the air vacated my lungs as I got my first look at my gorgeous bride. She was wearing a loose-fitting, floor-length dress that looked like a layer of lace over a layer of some silky-type material and had short sleeves made of the same lace. Rather than trying to hide her six-month baby bump in the loose folds of the dress, she’d chosen to accent it with a belt that she’d obviously made herself, which alternated between pearls and beads made of some sort of dark blue stone and was held together with simple silver wire. And she’d chosen to just style her hair rather than wear a veil, which didn’t surprise me in the least. She’d never been one for fluff and frills.

  She was every bit the glowing expectant mother and blushing bride all rolled into one, and for some reason, I was blessed enough to get to keep her forever.

  “You look amazing, baby,” I whispered as Gloria placed Darla’s hand in mine.

  “You don’t look so bad yourself,” she chuckled nervously, turning bright pink.

  “Please be seated,” Peter announced, and the congregation sat down. “Who gives this woman in marriage to this man?”

  “I do,” Gloria sniffled, dabbing at her eyes with a tissue, and then went to sit in the front row.

  “We are gathered here in the presence of God, family, and friends to unite Brendan and Darla in holy matrimony,” Peter began. “Marriage is an honorable estate, and is therefore not to be entered into lightly, but reverently, advisedly, soberly, and with God’s blessing. Today, they will receive God’s greatest gift: another person to share with, grow with, change with, be joyful with, and to stand with as one when trials and tribulations enter their lives. It is fitting, therefore, that we should on this occasion begin by asking for God’s blessing on this marriage. Let’s pray.

  “Heavenly Father, we gather to celebrate Your gift of love, and its presence among us. We rejoice that these two young people have chosen to commit themselves to a life of loving faithfulness to one another. We praise You, Lord, for the ways You have touched our lives with loving relationships such as Brendan and Darla’s, and we give thanks for the lifetime of love and friendship You have put in their hearts. Renew within us an affectionate and loving spirit. Enrich our lives with the gracious gift of Your love so that we may embrace others with that same love. May our participation in this celebration of love and commitment give to us a new joy and responsiveness to the relationships that we cherish. In Your precious and holy Name we pray, amen.”

  Marie stood and walked up to a microphone that was set up on the stage, then opened her Bible and began to read.

  “This is from First Corinthians, chapter thirteen, verses one through eight. ‘If I speak with the tongues of mankind and of angels, but do not have love, I have become a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and know all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith so as to remove mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. And if I give away all my possessions to charity, and if I surrender my body so that I may glory, but do not have love, it does me no good. Love is patient, love is kind, it is not jealous; love does not brag, it is not arrogant. It does not act disgracefully, it does not seek its own benefit; it is not provoked, does not keep an account of a wrong suffered. It does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth. It keeps every confidence, it believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails.’”

  Peter flashed his wife a smile as she walked back down to sit next to Gloria, then went to pull a white sheet off of the amazing unity braid board that Darla had made by hand. It had our names and today’s date painted at the top, and then there were three silk rope strands that we were going to braid together: silver, gold, and white.

  “Ecclesiastes 4:12 says, ‘And if one can overpower him who is alone, two can resist him. A cord of three strands is not quickly torn apart,’” he said as he walked back toward us. “Today, Brendan and Darla have chosen to braid three strands together into a single cord. Each strand has a significant meaning. The gold strand represents God and His majesty. The silver strand represents Brendan and his life. The white strand represents Darla and her life. In braiding these three strands together, Brendan and Darla demonstrate that their marriage is more than a joining of two lives together. It is a unity with God as well. They have chosen to allow God to be at the center of th
eir marriage, woven into every aspect of it.”

  As we walked back toward the board, Heather started to play “Love Song for a Savior,” with the words this time. And because I was a complete idiot, I messed the braid up almost immediately.

  “You should probably just do this,” I chuckled quietly. “It’s going to turn into a mess.”

  “Nope. We’re doing it together,” Darla giggled as she helped me fix what I’d screwed up. “It’s a unity braid, not an ‘I’m doing this by myself’ braid.”

  “Fair,” I conceded.

  “I saw that your dad didn’t stay when he dropped Nate off,” she whispered. “Are you okay?”

  I sighed. “I’m not going to lie and say it doesn’t sting a little, but honestly, if he can’t support us and our marriage, then I don’t want him here. We don’t need his negativity to be part of today. I love Ash’s outfit, by the way. That’s the kind of energy we need today.”

  She snorted as she tied the ends of the braid together. “I know. I would have expected nothing less from them than finding a way to blend a suit and a skirt into a coherent outfit.”

  As we walked back to the altar a couple of minutes later, Heather faded the music out so the ceremony could continue.

  “Marriage is a joyous occasion,” Peter said when we were both standing in front of him again. “It is connected in our thoughts with the charm of love, the warmth of home, and with all that is pleasant, as being one of the most important events of our lives. Its sacredness and unity is the most significant and binding covenant known in human relations.