by Sandi Lynn
“Let’s take him to room three,” I spoke. “Dr. Lasher, I want a comprehensive metabolic panel, CBC with Diff and blood gases. Get him on an IV drip and oxygen.”
“Grace, can I speak with you, please?” Tracy asked.
We walked out into the hallway.
“He’s been sick for a couple of months, but he refused to seek medical attention. Do you know what could be wrong? I’m so worried.”
“We have to run some tests. Hopefully, we’ll have some answers soon.” I placed my hand on her arm as we walked back into the room.
“Order an MRI with contrast and get him upstairs,” I spoke to Dr. Lasher.
“This is ridiculous,” Carlyle spoke in anger.
“Carlyle, shut up,” I spoke. “You’re sick and you need medical treatment. So, for the love of God, just be quiet and let us find out what’s wrong with you.”
“I’ve had enough of your mouth, young lady.”
“And I’ve had enough of yours. Excuse me for a moment. I’ll be right back.”
I knew Jamieson was in surgery, so I went up to OR four, held a mask over my mouth, and stepped inside.
“Hello, Dr. Harper. To what do I owe the pleasure?” he asked.
“How much longer are you going to be?”
“I’d say about fifteen more minutes. Why?”
“I need to speak to you when you’re done.”
“About?”
“About a patient down in the ER.”
“Okay. I’ll be down as soon as I’m done.”
“Actually, I’ll be waiting for you in the hallway,” I spoke.
He glanced over at me and our eyes locked on each other’s. He picked up on the seriousness of my tone.
“Okay. I’ll meet you out there.”
As I was waiting in the hall, Renata walked over to me.
“I heard Jamieson’s father is in the ER causing havoc.”
“He sure is.” I sighed.
“What’s wrong with him?”
“I’m not sure yet, but I have my suspicions.”
“Something serious?” she asked.
“Yeah. I think so.”
“Does Jamieson know yet?”
“I’m waiting for him to get out of surgery.”
“Okay.” She heavily sighed. “This isn’t going to be pretty.”
As soon as Jamieson was finished with his surgery, he stepped out into the hallway.
“What’s going on with your patient?” he asked.
“Jamieson, it’s your father. He’s down in the ER.”
“For what?”
“Tracy called 911 and had him transported by ambulance. He’s been in bed the past couple of days with a migraine and vomiting. She also said he fell the other day and he hasn’t been sleeping at all.”
He rubbed the back of his neck as he turned away from me.
“Did you order an MRI with contrast?” he asked.
“I did. He should be in there now.” I placed my hand on his back.
“Then let’s go.”
We walked to the MRI room and Jamieson asked the radiologist to leave. We sat down and waited for the MRI to complete and the scans to produce on the monitors.
“Here they come,” Jamieson spoke.
He sat there in silence and began to rub his forehead.
“Is that—” I started to speak.
“It sure is. Damn it!”
“Jamieson, I’m sorry.”
“We better go tell him. I’m the last person he’s going to want to hear this from.”
Chapter Forty-Seven
Jamieson
I would love to say this was karma at its finest. As much as I hated the man, a sickness tore through me. We walked down to his room in ER.
“Dad. How are you feeling?”
“What are you doing here?”
“I work here, remember?”
“I know that, but I don’t need you down here, so tell your step-mother that she wasted all of our time by bringing me here.”
“Dad, I read the results of your MRI.”
“Why would you do that? You’re not my doctor,” he growled.
“Dr. Harper came to me, not because you were my father, but because she suspected you needed a neuro consult.”
“And? Spit it out, Jamieson.”
I swallowed hard.
“You have a tumor on your brainstem. It’s what we call a brainstem glioma.”
“Brain cancer?” Tracy spoke.
“Yes, Tracy, that’s what a glioma is,” my father grumbled.
“Oh my God, Carlyle.” She grabbed his hand. “Then you’ll have it removed and you’ll be fine. Right?” She looked at me.
“Where the tumor is located on the brainstem, it’s nearly impossible to remove. To be honest, I’ve never seen one in this part of the brainstem. Even a partial resection wouldn’t help. We can try to shrink it with radiation and a chemotherapy cocktail.”
“How long do I have?” my father asked me. “And be honest. Don’t try to sugarcoat the fact that I’m dying.”
“About a year,” I nervously spoke.
My father turned his head away and was silent for a few moments. Grace reached over and placed her hand on my shoulder.
“You’re a world-class neurosurgeon. You’ve removed even the most impossible tumors and you will remove this one.”
“Dad. I don’t think you understand.”
“No! You don’t understand, Jamieson. I’m not ready to leave this world yet and I’m not ready to leave my wife. You will remove this tumor from me and give me more time,” he shouted. “Prove to me that you can do the impossible. Prove to me that this is why you chose neurosurgery.”
“Carlyle, I don’t think you understand the significant risks involved,” Grace spoke.
“I know all the risks and I’m willing to take them. Now I need my son to do the same.”
“You could die on that operating table, or worse yet, come out of the surgery with an impact of deficits,” I spoke.
“Then you’ll make sure that doesn’t happen,” he spoke.
“I’m not making any promises. I’m going to order brain mapping tests and we’ll go from there. Until then, Grace is admitting you.”
I walked out of the room and Grace followed me up to my office.
“He’s asking me to do something I can’t do. He’s just doing this so I’ll fail and then he can really hate me for the time he has left.”
“That’s not true, Jamieson.”
“Yes it is, Grace!” I shouted. “He’s a doctor, he knows the risks. He’s doing this to hurt me.”
She walked over and wrapped her arms around me.
“You love challenges. You told me there was no way Justin was ever going to walk again. You shut down my electrode suggestion. Then you researched it more and figured it out. You did what those doctors in Switzerland failed to do.”
“This is different, and you know it.”
“Not really. Just think about it.”
Her pager went off.
“I have a trauma coming in.” She kissed me. “Think about it.”
A couple days later, I sat in the imaging room and had all my father’s scans up from his CT, angiogram, MRI, and PET scan. I stared at them for hours and worked on a brain model to see if what I came up with would work. It didn’t. I was frustrated, and I was tired.
“Dr. Finn, can I speak to you for a moment?” Renata asked as she walked into the room.
“Sure.” I rubbed my forehead.
“I told your father that it is against hospital policy to let a family member treat him, and that I can’t allow it.”
“What did he say to that?”
“He told me that you are operating on him and if I have a problem with it, he will get in touch with his friends on the board and have me fired.”
“Yep. Sounds like him.”
“It’s not fair that he’s doing this to you, Jamieson.”
“He’s never been a fair man.�
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“If you can’t truly do it, then don’t.” She placed her hand on my shoulder. “There are just some things we doctors can’t do and you have to realize that.”
“I know, Renata. Thank you.”
“Let me know what you decide,” she spoke before walking out of the room.
****
By time I got home, Grace was already in bed. I quietly stripped out of my clothes and climbed in next to her.
“Are you okay?” she asked as she rolled over away from me and I wrapped my arms around her.
“I think I figured out a way to remove the tumor.” I kissed the back of her head.
“What?” She quickly turned around and faced me.
“It’s going to take at least twelve hours, and that’s providing there are no complications.”
“Are you sure?” She placed her hand on my cheek.
“Not really, but I have to try. We can tell him tomorrow.”
The next morning, Grace and I went to my father’s room and told him exactly what I was going to do.
“I want Grace in there assisting you,” he spoke.
“What? Why?” I asked.
“Because she’s a snippy little thing and she’ll set you straight if something goes wrong and you panic.”
“Dad, I don’t think—”
“This is my brain you’re cutting into and if I want Dr. Harper in that room, then she better damn well be.”
I looked at Grace, who had a frightened look on her face.
“You heard the man,” I spoke to her.
“Okay. I’ll be in there, Carlyle.”
As we were about to walk out of the room, my father cleared his throat.
“By the way, why haven’t you two told me that you got married?” he asked.
Both of us froze and then slowly turned around and stared at him.
“The nurse told me,” he spoke.
“It’s complicated,” I said. “We were both drunk and it will be annulled in three months.”
“Why three months?” he asked.
“That’s another complicated story. One I’ll tell you after your surgery.”
“Jamieson, can I speak with you alone?”
“Sure.” I looked at Grace. “I’ll talk to you later.”
“Come here,” my father spoke.
I took a seat in the chair next to his bed and he reached over and placed his hand on mine.
“You are a brilliant surgeon and I want you to know how proud I am to have you as my son.”
“Dad—”
“Let me finish. If something happens to me, I don’t want you to blame yourself. Promise me that you won’t.”
“Nothing is going to happen, Dad.”
“Come on, Jamieson. We’re both doctors and we know this surgery has way too many risks. Risks I’m willing to take to give me more time with my family. I want to make right the things I’ve done wrong, especially where you’re concerned. I’m sorry, son, for everything.”
“I’m sorry, Dad.”
“Don’t be. If my father would have treated me the way I treated you, I would have acted the same way.”
Chapter Forty-Eight
Three Months Later
Grace
Jamieson’s removal of his father’s brainstem tumor was a success. It took a total of fourteen hours and there were only a couple complications, but nothing Jamieson couldn’t figure out. He was a rock star, and I loved him more each and every day. His father was undergoing chemotherapy and was doing well. The relationship between Jamieson and him was also getting stronger.
We still hadn’t said those three little words to each other that would change our lives forever. I was positive he loved me, but I didn’t want to put any pressure on him. He needed to say it first. In two days, we were scheduled to go back to court to get our marriage annulled. We hadn’t talked about it at all and, frankly, I didn’t want to. Being with Jamieson was the best thing that had ever happened to me, and I thanked God every day for the circumstances in my life that led me to him. I was getting a little worried since we hadn’t talked about it and what would happen next. I had assumed things would go on as normal, but I was seriously mistaken.
****
Jamieson
I had a decision to make and it was the hardest decision of my life. I had my reasons. Reasons nobody could understand. I had to be one hundred percent sure. Even though I knew I was, I had gotten comfortable with Grace living with me, something I thought I’d never get used to. I know you’re thinking I’m the biggest dick on the planet, and you’re probably right. But like I said, I had my reasons.
I told her I’d meet her at the courthouse. I didn’t think it was a good idea that we drove together. I kissed her goodbye at the hospital and told her that I wouldn’t be too far behind her because I needed to check on one of my patients first. I met her in the hallway with my lawyer and we walked into the courtroom. After the judge entered, we took our seats.
“Hello, Dr. Finn. Dr. Harper. It’s good to see both of you again.”
“Hello, your Honor,” we both spoke.
“I was hoping that this court date would be cancelled by the both of you because you decided you didn’t want the annulment. So I’m going to ask each of you separately one question. Dr. Finn, do you still want your marriage annulled?”
“Yes, your Honor. I do,” I spoke.
“Dr. Harper, are you in agreement with Dr. Finn? Do you also want your marriage annulled?”
Grace sat there in silence for a few moments while she stared at the judge.
“Grace?” Tony spoke.
“Yes, your Honor. I do.”
“Okay, then. It is by the order of this court that the marriage between Dr. Jamieson Finn and Dr. Grace Harper be annulled effective immediately.”
She signed the paper in front of her and then looked at both of us.
“I’m sorry for the both of you, but I hope you learned a valuable lesson. Court is adjourned.”
She got up from her seat and went into her chambers. I looked over at Grace and placed my hand on hers. She immediately pulled away from me as she stood up from her chair and walked out of the courtroom.
****
Grace
I had to get out of there as fast as I could before I broke down in front of him. He ran after me and lightly grabbed hold of my arm.
“Grace, I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be,” I spoke as I fought to hold back the tears. “We knew this day was coming. So now you’re a free man. Just like you wanted. If you’ll excuse me, I was paged while we were in court. I have to get back to the hospital. I will have my things out of your house as soon as possible.”
“Grace, please. Don’t leave like this. Clearly, you’re upset.”
“My patients come first. Not you and not this situation.”
I walked to my car with my head held high. As soon as I climbed in, the tears started to stream down my face like a waterfall. The hurt that I felt as my heart shattered was unbearable. I’d never felt this kind of pain before. Not even with Sam. This was something new and unfamiliar and I hated every moment of it. I felt like my life had just been turned upside down and I didn’t know what to do. Clearly, this relationship was one-sided the entire time, and once again, I was blind to it. I lied to him about being paged. I called Renata and told her I wasn’t coming back today and that I’d be taking a few personal days. She said she understood and that she’d check in on me later.
I drove to Jamieson’s house and packed up all my things. Before shutting the door, I stood in the foyer and looked at the home that I had lived in with the man I loved for the past six months. The only person in my life that I was truly in love with. I had finally understood what love was, only to have it ripped from me.
I drove to my apartment and got my new set of keys from the manager. Opening the door, I brought all my things in and collapsed on the couch. I cried myself into oblivion until I passed out. I was awoken by a knock on the door.
My heart jumped into my throat at the possibility it could be Jamieson.
“Grace, open up. It’s Renata, sweetheart.”
I climbed off the couch, my eyes red and swollen from all the crying I’d done earlier. I opened the door, and when she saw me, a saddened look crossed her face.
“Come here, baby.” She hugged me. “I brought you some food.”
“I’m not hungry.” I closed the door. “Can I make you some coffee or tea?”
“No. I will make it for you. Go sit down. I want to make one thing clear to you. You are not quitting the hospital because of him. You don’t give him that kind of power.”
“After everything we’ve been through the past six months, how can he just throw it all away? I was such a fool. I truly thought he loved me. I could feel it. And the way he didn’t even hesitate when the judge asked him if he still wanted the annulment.”
“He’s the one who’s a fool. Not you. You’re going to be okay, Grace.” She set a cup of tea down in front of me.
“I don’t think I will be. Not this time. My heart is so broken, and I don’t think it will ever heal. I have never loved anyone like I loved him. He destroyed me, Renata.”
“Now you listen to me. I’m giving you tough love here. Just like I did when you were my resident. You don’t let any man destroy you. Especially Dr. Jamieson Finn. You are a brilliant surgeon and a kind and compassionate woman. You have so much to offer and he’s the idiot that can’t see it. What he did is a reflection of him, not you. He will be forever working out his mommy and daddy issues. Alone, may I add! You’re going to meet someone special and have a family, and he’ll be sitting in his lonely beach house wishing he’d never let you go.”
“I doubt it. I don’t want to meet anyone else. I really thought we had a future together.” The tears streamed down my face.
“The only future Jamieson Finn has is the lonely path he’s walking. He may not realize it now. It may take ten or twenty years, but he will one day. I could just kill that man!”
Chapter Forty-Nine
Jamieson
I knew what I did, and I wasn’t proud of it. Not in the least. I got tied up in a six-hour surgery. The OR was the only place where I didn’t have to think about her. I went home and there was silence. I walked upstairs and stared at the empty closet. I needed to do this, and I knew she’d never understand. We got married on a whim, a drunken whim, and that was no way to stay married.