Now the griffin was touching the other nine stone statues arranged on the map with its wings of fire. One by one, each of the King’s Beasts was brought to life.
The statue of the lion burst into flames and roared.
Next, the Unicorn turned from stone to fire and kicked up on its hind legs.
The falcon flapped its wings of fire and squawked.
The stone white horse turned as hot as the sun.
The yale glowed red and gold with the heat and swivelled its horns.
The black bull blistered into being and began charging around the ballroom, bellowing.
The white lion leaped up and roared.
The giant greyhound growled, baring its hideous fangs.
Finally, the dragon of Wales exploded into life, breathing fire from its mouth.
“Mama! No! Get back!” shouted Alfred. “The King’s Beasts! They’re all alive!”
“There is a secret way out of the ballroom!” shouted the Queen. “Mite! Pull the cord on the curtains!”
Mite did as she was told.
SHTUM!
“What’s happened?” demanded the Queen.
“The curtains have closed,” replied the girl, not unreasonably, as that was exactly what had happened.
“THE OTHER CORD!” cried the Queen.
Mite pulled it and to her surprise a mirror in the wall swung open.
SWING!
Alfred, Mite and the Queen all escaped through it.
The three were now in Buckingham Palace’s banqueting hall. Enormous tables were placed in the shape of a U, all laid out for some grand dinner from decades ago. Broken glass and smashed crockery were everywhere, linked by cobwebs that were so huge at first glance they looked like dustsheets.
Immediately, Alfred and Mite went about barricading themselves in by pushing one of the tables up against the mirror.
SHUNT!
Then Alfred whisked one of the tablecloths off the table, and shouted to the other two, “HIDE!” All three huddled together under the long table. Rats scurried around them, looking for scraps of rotten food. It took all their willpower not to cry out as the vermin nibbled at their feet.
SQUEAK! SQUEAK! SQUEAK!
Alfred waved what was left of the sword at them.
“Shoo! Shoo! Shoo!” he said as the rats scattered.
Suddenly there was the sound of a laser blast.
ZAP!
The mirror exploded...
KABOOM!
...and shattered on the floor.
CRUNCH! CRANCH! CRINCH!
From under the table, Alfred and Mite spied the All-Seeing Eye hovering around the banqueting hall. It was searching for them. When it had just passed him, Alfred crawled out from his hiding place, and threw the tablecloth over it.
WHOOSH!
Blinded, the robot went berserk. It zoomed this way and that, desperately trying to shake off the tablecloth. It smashed into the chandeliers…
CRASH!
…scattering shards of glass everywhere.
Then the All-Seeing Eye dropped to the floor.
THUD!
And rolled around.
TRUNDLE! TRUNDLE! TRUNDLE!
In an instant, the tall double doors to the banqueting hall exploded in a fireball.
WHOOMPH!
All ten of the King’s Beasts entered the banqueting hall in a blaze of heat and light.
The griffin with the face of the Lord Protector led the way, with the others fanned out behind.
Perhaps thinking the thing under the tablecloth was the boy, the monster breathed its deadly fire on to it.
WHOOMPH!
The robot exploded.
KABOOM!
Shards of metal shot across the banqueting hall.
TWONK! TWINK! TWUNK!
“I always hated that thing!” hissed Alfred.
As the griffin inspected the ruins of the All-Seeing Eye, Alfred whispered, “Let’s get out of here!”
He stuffed the two pieces of the broken sword under his arm, and he and Mite each took one of the Queen’s hands. Together the three of them scrambled as far as they could under the long tables until they reached the far side of the room. Then they bolted through the charred and smoking opening where the double doors had been.
The ten beasts tore through the tables, destroying everything in sight.
Alfred, the Queen and Mite dashed down the corridor. The two children pulled cabinets and grandfather clocks and suits of armour behind them, sending them crashing to the floor.
The hope was that this would slow down the beasts. However, these things had superpowers, and burned through everything in their path.
WHOOMPH! WHOOMPH! WHOOMPH!
Finally, the three had made their way to the bottom of Buckingham Palace. The vault. They hurried through the door, slamming it behind them.
There they were greeted by the sight of five of the ladies-in-waiting brandishing their weapons. The old dears had defeated every single one of the royal guards, who were all strewn across the stone floor.
“Enid?” asked Alfred.
“She didn’t make it,” replied Agatha sorrowfully.
“I am sorry,” said the boy.
“We need to go,” added Mite. “Right now.”
“Why?” asked Agatha.
Just then the doors behind them burst into flames.
WHOOMPH!
The ten mighty burning beasts burst through.
SMASH!
“That’s why,” replied Mite. “What is the one thing that fire cannot survive?”
“Water!” answered Alfred.
“FOLLOW ME!” ordered Mite.
The unlikely band of revolutionaries charged across the vault. Their destination was the secret passage to the flooded Underground tunnel.
“Please do wait for me, your trusty robo-butler!” came a robotic voice. It was Octobut, or rather Unibut, with its one lonely arm still just intact. If it had lost that one, you’d have to call it “But” and that seems plain wrong. The thing trundled after them.
The beasts gave chase, the griffin burning everything in its path.
WHOOMPH!
WHOOMPH!
WHOOMPH!
All those precious antiques (and some unwanted gifts) exploded in flames.
BOOM!
Mite found the stone in the floor of the vault, and one by one the gang raced down the stone steps and leaped into the water.
SPLISH!
SPLASH!
SPLASH!
Alfred went last, putting the parts of the sword in his mouth like a pirate.
They swam and swam until they reached the submarine. Then they climbed down the rusty old ladder into the vessel. Alfred carried the Octobut, and Agatha carried the Old Queen’s box of matches.
There were just two matches left. Agatha lit the first one…
STRIKE!
…and let it burn slowly down to its very end.
“Mama,” said the boy.
“Yes, Alfred?”
“Father is dead.”
“No!”
Alfred hugged his blinded mother tight as they both rocked with tears.
“He loved you.”
“I know. I loved him too. He died a hero, trying to slay the beast.”
“I always knew, despite everything, that he was a good man.”
“He truly was. He made the ultimate sacrifice for all of us. Now we have to honour him.”
“You are right,” replied the Queen.
“How can we defeat these monsters?” asked Mite.
“Only with this sword,” replied Alfred. “The sword of the first king of Albion. And, look, it is broken in two.”
“We still have one torpedo left!” chirped Agatha.
The boy’s face lit up at a thought. “Maybe, just maybe, if we strap what is left of the sword to the torpedo, then it can deliver the fatal blow.”
“Cool!” said Mite.
“Let’s try,” said Alfred, examining the pieces o
f the ancient sword.
“But the submarine is stuck in this rotten tunnel,” said the Queen. “If we fire the torpedo from here, it will destroy all of Buckingham Palace as well.”
Alfred thought for a moment. “And it will destroy us too.”
“No,” said the Queen. “It will destroy me.”
“What?” asked Mite.
“You two are young – you can help rebuild this once-great country. If you guide my finger to the button, I can press it. Then I can be in the sky with my darling husband.”
“NO!” replied Alfred. “NEVER! I won’t let you do it. I am King now, and I will lay down my life for the people of this country.”
“I will not hear of it!” said the Queen.
“Then let me do it!” pleaded Agatha.
All the surviving ladies-in-waiting were willing to lay down their lives too.
“Or me!”
“Let me!”
“Please, me!”
Apart from one.
“I would rather it wasn’t me!”
“No, ladies!” replied the Queen sharply. “I won’t hear of it. I always swore I would do anything for this country. And I am prepared to make the ultimate sacrifice.”
All fell silent in awe of this great woman.
“I love you, Mama,” said Alfred. “More than anything in the world.”
“I love you too, King Alfred. More than you will ever know.”
Alfred was the name of the first king of England, and this boy was determined he would not be the last.
He took the broken sword, strapped the pieces to the torpedo using some rope and tugged tight on the ends so they would stay in place.
Together the ladies-in-waiting lifted the torpedo and loaded it into the tube.
CLUNK!
Then, with great tenderness, the boy guided his mother’s finger over to the FIRE button.
“There,” he said.
CRUNCH!
The HMS Sceptre sounded as if it were breaking up in the tunnel. It lurched to one side.
TWONK!
Water began gushing in.
WHOOSH!
All those on board were swept on to the floor of the submarine.
“ARGH!”
“HELP!”
“NOO!”
“I don’t think I’m going to be able to keep my finger on the button!” panicked the Queen.
“Then I will keep you company, Your Majesty,” piped up the robot butler.
“Thank you, Octobut!” replied the Queen.
“I want to do something useful,” it said. “Just once in my life.”
“Mite, how long will it take us to swim down the tunnel out to the Thames?” asked Alfred.
“One minute,” replied the girl. Then she looked towards the five ladies in their eighties and nineties. “Actually, make that five minutes.”
“Mama, wait until then, then press the button.”
“I will. Give me a kiss, my beautiful boy.”
Alfred kissed his mother on the lips. Just once. Softly and sweetly.
“Goodbye,” he said.
“Goodbye, Lionheart,” she answered.
“Ta-ta!” chirped the Octobut.
Then the Queen started to count. “One, two, three…”
“Let’s go!” said Mite.
CRUNCH!
The submarine continued to break up.
“Octobut is still holding my finger on the button!” the Queen called out. “Four, five, six…”
As the last match burned down, Alfred, Mite and the five ladies-in-waiting all scrambled up the ladder to the top of the submarine, and then dived into the water.
As bats attacked them from above…
SQUEAK! SQUEAK! SQUEAK!
…the gang swam for their lives. When the two children and the old ladies had reached the end of the Underground tunnel, they dived down through the underwater passage that led out to the Thames.
GASP!
As soon as they came up for air, they could see something terrifying in the distance. Buckingham Palace was illuminated by red and gold light. The ten flaming King’s Beasts, led by the griffin, were emerging from the top of the palace, and letting off their deafening cries.
The dragon was breathing fire at those on the ground.
WHOOMPH!
The poor people were fleeing for their lives as the earth was scorched around them.
The Lord Protector’s airship descended through the clouds and began blasting the revolutionaries as they fled.
ZAP! ZAP! ZAP!
BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!
“Mama! Now!” cried Alfred, even though she couldn’t hear him. “NOW!”
Just then there was an almighty blast.
KABOOM!
Buckingham Palace, the home of the royal family for hundreds of years, exploded.
Shards of the ancient sword glistened magically as they tore into the beasts.
They let out blood-curdling cries.
“AAAAARRRRRGGGGGHHHHH!”
The fire caught the airship, and it burst into flames.
BOOM!
It plunged to the ground.
CRASH!
Thick black smoke billowed up into the sky.
WHOOSH!
For a moment, the shapes of the beasts could be seen within the black clouds. The griffin beat its mighty wings one last time as the Lord Protector’s face let out a silent scream. Then all ten of the King’s Beasts vanished into air.
Into
thin
air.
Mite hauled herself out of the Thames and on to the riverbank, before giving a helping hand to the five elderly ladies and the young King.
Thousands of people were now swarming all over the city, watching the clouds of smoke from Buckingham Palace snake up into the sky.
A sky where now the Queen had joined her King.
The people were dirty and dressed in rags. The young King, his face blackened, and his ripped pyjamas wet through from the river, fitted in perfectly with them. As Alfred had been kept under lock and key in Buckingham Palace for his entire life, none of the people recognised him.
“Your Majesty,” began Agatha.
“Shush,” shushed the young King. “Alfred is fine.”
“Aren’t you going to tell them all who you are?”
“Why should I?” asked Alfred.
“Because we need to rebuild this kingdom,” reasoned Agatha.
“Yes. And we all need to do it together. Everyone equal, and as one.”
“Cool!” remarked Mite.
“Come on…”
The ladies-in-waiting began tending to the sick and wounded, of which there were many. Meanwhile, Alfred took Mite’s hand, and together they clambered over the rubble that was London. They headed towards what was left of Buckingham Palace. Amongst the burning rubble of the palace, Alfred found the remains of one of the revolutionaries’ Union Jacks. The flag was blackened and burned, but still a powerful symbol of a once-great nation.
With pride, he held the flag aloft, and waved it in the air.
swOOSH! swOOSH!
The people stopped and listened to what this twelve-year-old boy had to say.
“This great nation belongs to us all!” he began. “Every single one of us. Every man, every woman and every child. Together, and only together, can we rebuild her. Brick by brick!”
“HOORAY!” cheered the crowd.
At that moment,
the dark clouds parted,
and the sun shone on the lonely island
for the first time in years.
“What is that?” asked Mite,
squinting up at the sky.
“Light,” said the boy with a smile.
“At last. Light.”
Enjoyed this story? Then CLICK on the covers below for more laugh-out-loud reads from your favourite writer!
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Previously written by David Walliams:
THE BOY IN THE DRESS
MR STINK
BILLIONAIRE BOY
GANGSTA GRANNY
RATBURGER
DEMON DENTIST
AWFUL AUNTIE
GRANDPA’S GREAT ESCAPE
THE MIDNIGHT GANG
BAD DAD
THE ICE MONSTER
FING
THE WORLD’S WORST CHILDREN
THE WORLD’S WORST CHILDREN 2
THE WORLD’S WORST CHILDREN 3
THE WORLD’S WORST TEACHERS
Also available in picture book:
THE SLIGHTLY ANNOYING ELEPHANT
THE FIRST HIPPO ON THE MOON
THE QUEEN’S ORANG-UTAN
THE BEAR WHO WENT BOO!
THERE’S A SNAKE IN MY SCHOOL!
BOOGIE BEAR
GERONIMO
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The Beast of Buckingham Palace Page 15