‘There you are. There you are.’ Angus’s arm was extended high above his head. ‘Nerve, he said. And the strength of a bull; and a few hundred. Is anybody more qualified than me?’ He got to his feet and banged his chest with his clenched fists. ‘Oo! Oo!…Oo! Oo!’
The Tarzan call was too much for Emily. She joined in the laughter and she laughed till the tears ran down her face…
But Emily didn’t laugh the following morning when Angus informed her he was going to have a run out with Fred Singleton. But she did not go for him either, she pleaded with him.
‘Look, lad,’ she said. ‘It’s only three hundred and seventy five but it’s taken a bit of gettin’. Don’t be a bloody fool, lad.’
‘Listen, Mam.’ He was speaking as quietly as she was. ‘I’m not bein’ any kind of a bloody fool, I’m not committing meself, I’m just goin’ out to see this lorry.’
‘If Fred Singleton thinks he’s on a good thing why can’t he buy another lorry?’
Angus sighed. ‘Aw, Mam, he’s got a wife and six kids and his widowed mother living with him. It takes every penny. But he tells me at times he can turn forty a week, not all the time, but pretty often. But with a couple of lorries running and the prospect of more there’s no reason why it shouldn’t be forty every week.’
‘As long as it lasts, lad; these buildings won’t be goin’ up forever.’
‘You heard Stan last night, Mam. They’ve got plans out for along the river that’ll take another ten years.’
‘Listen. Listen to me. I don’t want you to leave the yard. There’s a sort of, well, call it status, or prestige or whatever you like, but you’re chargehand of your shop an’ you’ve got it.’
‘God, Mam.’ His tone was scathing. ‘Chargehands an’ foremen, they’re two a penny. As for prestige, that went down the sink years ago. You’re living in the past, Mam. Men don’t look up to them a step above them these days, they spit in their eye. You should hear Jim Taggart at me.’
‘What’s Jim Taggart? Scum. Scum, that’s all he is.’
‘Well, there’s a lot of scum about and you find that out once you’ve been put over them. Anyway, Mam, I’ve got a fancy for being me own boss.’
‘Well, what about all this evening-class business you’ve been goin’ at?’
‘Oh that’ll come in handy, nothin’s ever lost.’
‘And what if you want to get married and your money goes down the drain?’
‘If I want to get married, Mam! Who’s talking of gettin’ married?’
She turned from him and went into the scullery, and from there she shouted, ‘May was round here last night. She had been to the club lookin’ for you.’
‘Oh, aye.’
‘You’re not playin’ fair by May, Angus.’
‘That’s my business, Mam.’
‘It can be your business but I still say you’re not playing fair by her. Three years you’ve known her; you should be married now, with a bairn.’
‘Oh, for God’s sake! Look, Mam, you can stick your finger in any pie that I’m eatin’, but with regard to May, or any other piece, that’s my business. Now, I’m tellin’ you.’ He walked towards the scullery door and addressed her back. ‘I’ll marry when I think fit, May or anybody else I want to, but it’ll be when I want to. Now understand that.’
He went out without saying goodbye, but the frame of his mind was conveyed to her as he banged the door, and she hurried into the front room and watched him go down the street. He was a fine figure of a man, and he was as well put on as any gentleman in the town. He knew how to dress did her Angus. The cut of his overcoat suited his broad shoulders. He was wearing one of those new velour sporty hats. She shook her head. It was a motion of pride, but as she turned from the window she exclaimed aloud, ‘The stubborn bugger.’
Angus went with Fred Singleton in his old car to Morpeth. He saw the lorry that was for sale, but thought they were asking about twice what it was worth, and so they returned the way they had gone, nothing settled.
On the return journey they stopped just before closing time and had a drink and discussed the situation for the twentieth time. ‘I’m not going to jump into anything, Fred; I’ve got a good job as you know, an’ what’s more I’ve got me mam to consider. As I say there’s plenty of time.’
‘There’s not, you know, Angus; there’s not. There’s other fellows borrowing money to start up.’
‘Well, why don’t you borrow to get another lorry?’
‘Well, as I’ve told you, I’d have to take on another bloke. What I want is a partner, somebody who’ll carry his weight, like you. Tough, with a level head on him. And, I don’t mind admitting this to you Angus, somebody who’ll be able to do the correspondence like, the writin’ and bargainin’. I’m not much good at it. If I did things in writin’ I would get farther, but everythin’ is by word of mouth, you know.’
Angus nodded, then said, ‘I’m sorry, Fred, but I’m gonna leave it for the time being. Not too long; no, not too long, but just for a week or so. I’ve got to consider, you see.’
It started to rain as they left the pub and when they were about two miles outside of Fellburn and taking a side road that was bordered by the open fell, Angus suddenly said, ‘Hold your hand a minute, Fred, stop her!’
‘What?’
‘Stop the car. Stop her a minute.’
When the car had stopped Angus swung round in his seat and looked out of the rear window. Then, leaning across Fred, he said, ‘Pull the window down a minute, I want to see over there.’
Over there was a young girl walking by herself. She had a raincoat on with a collar turned up and a scarf round her head. She was walking with her hands in her pockets and her shoulders hunched.
‘Who is it? Somebody you know?’
‘Aye.’ Angus nodded his head. ‘I wonder what she’s doin’ out up here on her own, in the rain. Hang on a minute, will you?’
Fred grinned and said, ‘Oh aye; I’ve all the time in the world.’
Angus got out of the car and went up the bank onto the fell. The girl had her back to him now, but there was no mistaking Vanessa. He would have picked out her walk and her style from a hundred; but he didn’t call her name until he came abreast of her, about six yards distant, and then she turned and looked at him and he said, ‘I thought it was you. What you doin’ up here in the wet? You lost?’
She stared at him, her mouth slightly open; then she said, ‘Oh, hello, Angus.’
‘You lost? I mean it’s pourin’. Do you like being out in the wet?’
‘I don’t mind. I wanted to have a long walk.’
‘Do you want a lift back?’ He nodded over towards the car. ‘There’s another two miles to go, three to your place.’
She followed his gaze, then said, ‘No. No, thanks.’
He was now standing in front of her and he peered at her through the driving rain for a moment before saying, ‘You all right?’
‘Yes, yes.’
‘You look peaked.’
‘Oh, I’m all right.’
‘Look.’ He came close to her. ‘You’re not tellin’ the truth, are you? You’re not all right. What’s up?’
‘Nothing, nothing.’
‘Mam said you’d been off colour and had a cold, tummy upset; you’d been off school for a week or two.’
‘Yes, I have. I’ve had a cold but it’s better now.’
‘Well, you don’t look better. And you won’t stay better long in this. Come on, get into the car.’ He put out his hand towards her but she shrank back, saying, ‘No, no; I want to walk.’
He continued to look at her for some minutes before he said, ‘All right,’ then turned abruptly away and went towards the car. And there, bending down to Fred, who was sitting smoking, he said, ‘Do you mind finishin’ on your own? I feel I’d better see her home.’
‘Oh, aye. But you’re not goin’ to enjoy yourself very much, it beltin’ like this.’
‘Oh, it’s nothing like that, ma
n.’ Angus put his fist against Fred’s shoulder. ‘She’s the daughter, you know, where Mam works. She’s been ill and I think she still is. She looks odd to me; I think I’d better see to her.’
‘Please yourself. But…but you’ll think about the other, won’t you?’
‘Aye. Yes, I promise, Fred, I’ll think about it. And I’ll let you know one way or the other in a week or two. All right?’
‘All right.’ Fred’s face looked crestfallen as he moved off, and Angus, turning, went onto the fell again. Vanessa was some distance further away now and he had to hurry to catch up with her. When he came to her side he said, ‘Well now, which is the shortest way home?’
She stopped and again she looked at him with her mouth open. Then lowering her head and moving it from side to side, she said, ‘Look, Angus, I’m all right, really I am.’
‘Well, if you’re all right, it’s a poor lookout for the bad ’uns. It strikes me you should be in bed. You look as white as lint and you’re shiverin’.’ He put his hand on her arm. ‘Come on. An’ I’m standing no nonsense; if we’re going to walk we’re going to do it briskly. And you want to get home and get into bed. You shouldn’t pick days like this to take a tramp; although,’ he remarked as if to himself; ‘it wasn’t so bad earlier on. But this is our summer, flaming June. Look, we’ll cross over the top,’ he pointed into the distance, ‘an’ go down by the river and over the stepping stones. That’ll cut almost a mile off and bring us to the end of Mr Brett’s wood.’
When her body jerked he thought she had stumbled, and he put out his other hand to steady her.
They walked some distance in silence, until it became embarrassing to him and he said, ‘Mam tells me you’re leaving school at the end of this term.’
‘Yes.’
‘I thought you were staying on until you were seventeen next year?’
‘I’m seventeen in August.’ For the first time she turned and looked at him. ‘In exactly six weeks and two days I’ll be seventeen.’
He was slightly nonplussed by both her voice and her manner but he said airily, ‘Well, it’s plain to be seen you’ve got it worked out to the hour.’
‘Yes, to the hour.’
What was wrong with her? There was something amiss. He hadn’t seen her for some time, not since that day they had travelled up from Newcastle and he had got himself narked by the way young Brett had looked at him, and he had left her abruptly. Surely, she in her turn hadn’t been narked about his manner…? Could be, could be. What did she expect him to do? Bow and scrape? He said, ‘Haven’t seen you for some time, not since that day when we came up on the train together. I…I had to leave you rather sharp, there was somebody I wanted to see.’
She was looking at him again. She didn’t for the moment know what he was talking about; and then she remembered him walking away and talking to a cheap-looking girl.
CHEAP LOOKING. CHEAP LOOKING. CHEAP LOOKING.
The words were re-echoing in her mind, as words were doing a lot lately. Significant words such as cheap, consequences, retribution, sin, scandal, death, suicide, water. Yes, water. But she would never drown, she was too good a swimmer; and they hadn’t gas in the house, only electricity and the Aga. This only left the aspirins; there were all kinds of aspirins in the bathroom cupboard. If only Brett would come back. If he knew he would do something about it. He would take her away. She hadn’t a doubt but that he would take her away.
For days after it happened she hadn’t been able to think of him without wanting to be sick. For days and days after, she could feel his body on hers; she could see his part-naked flesh as he rolled off her exhausted, finished. When she had finally come to herself she had for the first time experienced loathing, loathing of herself and him. But it was too late, the thing was done, the beastly horrible slimy thing was accomplished.
Some parts of the episode had faded from her mind and there was only a feeling left about them, but she still remembered the sound and sight of his crying. He had started to cry again, he had cried as he had kissed her all over; he had cried until she had kicked herself free from him and run through the wood in panic. And the panic was still with her, and only his presence could ease it.
If she could only hide her panic until he came back then it would be all right, they would go away. He would get a divorce and they would marry. That’s how things were done.
‘What? I’m sorry, I wasn’t paying attention.’
‘I said, had you decided on anything, a job or anything?’
‘No. That is, Mother and Father want me to go to France to stay with a family; my French is weak.’ She tried to put a smile to her words but it wouldn’t come.
He helped her across the stepping stones; then they went up the bank and along the towpath that ran by the side of the river, and fifteen minutes later they came out into the lane where the wire fence that bordered the Brett ground ran down into the river. She had her head down as she walked up the narrow lane towards the road. They were about halfway along the lane, and silent once more, when her name being called brought them both to a startled halt. There were two voices calling, ‘Hi, Vanessa! Hi, Vanessa!’ and the voices appeared to be coming out of the air.
She looked up into the trees, and Angus’s gaze followed hers and he said, ‘There’s somebody up there in the trees.’
She was walking on again. ‘It’s Ray,’ she said, ‘and Michael Brett. They’ve built a platform in the oak.’
‘Good for them. But it gave me a bit of a gliff hearin’ your name being called out of the sky.’ He was looking at her profile, waiting for her to say something, but she didn’t, and when they came to the end of the lane he stopped and said, ‘Well, here’s the parting of the ways. Now you take my advice and go to bed; you look as if you’re sickenin’ for something. Have you had the doctor?’
‘No; I’m all right really and…thanks.’ Her voice trailed off, and he added with a smile, ‘For forcing meself on you? But me mam would never have forgiven me if I’d left you up there in the rain all by yourself. You looked lost.’ He leant his head slightly to the side. ‘If you go on this way you’ll be losin’ your looks, you know, an’ you don’t want that to happen, do you? What’s the duke or the count goin’ to say?’
When she swung away from him without a word of goodbye he stood gazing after her until she disappeared into her own gateway; then he turned towards home…
Emily was having her Sunday afternoon rest when he arrived, and he went straight upstairs and into her room. She was sitting up in bed with a cup of tea in her hand and she said, ‘Oh, so you’re back. Well, what’s happened?’
‘Enough of that after.’ He sat down heavily on the foot of the bed and began: ‘Look, Mam, when we were comin’ down the fell lane about two miles out, Fred and me in the car, I saw Van meandering across the fells in the rain and I got out and asked if she would like a lift, but she wouldn’t come, and she was in such a state that I let Fred go on and I brought her back.’
‘Here?’ Emily straightened herself up.
‘No, no. Don’t get yourself agitated. I mean home; we came the river way. She was in a state, Mam. She looks bad.’
Emily lay back and closed her eyes for a moment before saying, ‘Oh, she’s been like that for a week or two. The missis hasn’t known what to do with her, nor me for that matter. We used to have a crack at one time but I’ve not been able to get a word out of her, not for days. It’s exam nerves, that’s what the missis says.’
‘Exam nerves? Good God, is that what it is?’
‘Yes, they all get it when they’re sitting for ‘O’ levels; sick, tummy upsets, the lot.’
‘Christ!’ He banged his forehead with his double fist. ‘Me thinking she was going into the old-fashioned decline or somethin’. Well, I’ll be jiggered. You know, she hardly opened her mouth all the way, and when she did she was so bloomin’ dramatic you’d think she was rehearsing for a play. Once or twice I could have laughed, but then she looked so bad.’
&
nbsp; ‘Oh, they take it seriously.’ Emily nodded. ‘I remember Miss Susan and her ‘O’ levels. She was sick, an’ in the night an’ all, and the lazy little beggar wouldn’t get up. I remember that bed I had to tackle the next mornin’. Well now, tell me what happened about Singleton.’
‘Oh, they were asking too much, far too much. I told them when they came down to practically half I’d think about it.’
‘What did Fred say?’
‘I told him that I’d give him me answer one way or the other in a few weeks’ time.’
‘Well, it’ll be the other if I’ve got anything to do with it.’
He stood up, then poked his head down to her and said, ‘Yes, Mam. Yes, Mam.’
‘Go on with you.’
‘Where’s Rosie?’
‘She’s in her room. There should be some tea in the pot.’
‘I’m not havin’ your leavings, I’m goin’ to make fresh.’
‘You don’t need to make fresh, it’s just been made.’
As he went out of the room he said to her over his shoulder, ‘Don’t be so stingy; you’d think you bought it. I like making fresh pots of God-Almighty Ratcliffe’s tea. Anyway, I brought his daughter home out of the wet.’ He pushed his head back round the door towards her. ‘That’s a good ’un. It’s the title of a story: Out of the Wet.’
‘You’re not just wet, lad, you’re drippin’.’ Emily lay back and gurgled at her own joke; then she emptied her cup, saying to herself, ‘Thank God. But he’s got sense, our Angus. I needn’t have worried.’
Three
‘You’re mad. You must be mad.’
‘Yes, we’re all slightly mad, Mrs Ratcliffe.’
‘But you are.’ She checked herself from adding, ‘or drunk’. It was a well-known fact that he was a tippler; hadn’t Mrs Carey objected to his breath when he visited her? She would change; she had been thinking about it for a long time.
The doctor seemed to read her thoughts, and he buttoned up his coat briskly as he said, ‘Mad, drunk, or daft, Mrs Ratcliffe, your daughter is pregnant.’
The Round Tower Page 9