by Trim, Brenda
“Leggings are the best invention,” Aislinn agreed, then set the wooden spoon down and picked up a pot of boiling noodles. “I hate when I have to work because Bruce wants me in jeans. I’m thinking of getting a pair of jeggings. I need the stretch.” She dumped the contents into the strainer in the sink then added the noodles to the pot on the stove.
Fiona crossed to one of the whitewashed cabinets on the left wall and grabbed some plates. We both laughed at Aislinn’s comments. Fiona handed me three bowls. “My kids told me jeggings were out of style. Every pair I owned somehow disappeared by the time they shipped me my clothing.”
“How can something so classic be out of style?” I held the bowls while Aislinn used tongs to dish a serving of sauce-covered pasta to each.
Fiona grabbed forks and spoons and sat next to me at the island with Aislinn across from us. Aislinn’s island had shelves on the ends but nothing on either side, so she had four backless stools tucked under the thick wood top.
“I’m going to need them soon, in style or not,” Aislinn said while she twirled her fork through the long noodles.
My heart skipped a beat then restarted in overdrive. She was going to tell us what was wrong with her. Suddenly, I wasn’t sure I wanted to know. Fiona’s comment about it being something we couldn’t help her with made my chest tighten with fear.
I couldn’t avoid the topic or pretend it didn’t exist. No matter how hard I wished, I could. “Why are you going to need jeggings?” Besides, I wanted to show her all the support I hoped they’d give me when I worked up the courage to tell them about the curse making my magic malfunction.
Aislinn took a bite and kept her gaze down while she chewed. Fiona and I shared a look, but neither said anything. We needed to allow her to tell us on her terms. After a couple seconds of silence, she lifted her head.
“I’m about to gain ten sizes and will need the flexibility.” She bit her lip and wrung her hands together. I had some suspicions about what she might be trying to tell us. Thankfully, none of them made me want to comb the Earth for a cure for her. “I’m pregnant.”
Fiona and I gasped at the same time, followed by twin squeals. I jumped up and went around the island, and wrapped Aislinn in a hug. Fiona’s arms went over mine. “Holy crap, you scared me to death. I was certain you were going to tell us you were dying,” Fiona blurted into our group hug.
I released Aislinn, which made Fiona do the same. Neither of us went very far as we leaned against the butcherblock on each side of her. “That’s huge. Are we happy about this? I know you’ve never mentioned wanting kids. And midlife isn’t the time most women want to have them.”
“Good questions, but first, we need to know who the father is. I mean, I have an idea, but I would never assume,” Fiona interjected with a nod of her head.
Aislinn rolled her eyes and twirled more pasta onto her fork. “It’s Argies. We slept together when we were in Eidothea, and he got me preggers. And, no. He doesn’t know. I’m early along, and I haven’t decided what I’m going to do yet.”
I went back to my seat. I couldn’t stay on my feet anymore. “You don’t have to decide right now. Either way, we’ve got your back. We both have experience with babies and can help in any way you might need.”
Fiona bobbed her head and sat back down as well. “Violet’s right. Give yourself time to work through the situation. Hormones are running rampant through you at the moment, which likely makes it much harder for you to think straight.”
Aislinn lifted tear-filled eyes to us. “I just found out and have been vacillating between keeping it and not. And crying every time I turn around. I’m a damn mess. I don’t know how I will ever be able to make a decision. It overwhelms me.”
I twirled a bite of pasta and groaned as I ate it. “This is delicious. Are you having cravings already?”
Aislinn bobbed her head up and down. “I’ve never been sick, and for over a week, I assumed I was throwing up as I adjusted to our food after eating in the Fae realm. When I had a craving for lemon tarts while I was hurling, I suspected it was so much more. It took me days to get up the nerve to buy the test and pee on the stick.”
Fiona swallowed the food she was chewing then twirled her fork for more. “But you knew something. You quit your job at your family’s bar to work for Bruce. You’d have had it good working for Phoenix Feathers. They’d have given you any time off you needed.”
Aislinn’s jaw dropped to her chest. “I haven’t paused long enough to think about the decisions I made when we got back. The smoke in the place made me violently ill the night after we returned, and I quit then and there. Holy shit. My parents must think I’ve lost my mind.”
I chuckled and pointed my fork at her. “They probably already know. Nothing gets past your mum.”
The tears slipped free and ran down Aislinn’s cheeks. “What am I going to do if she knows and I don’t keep it. She will be disappointed in me for losing my chance at children. She’s old-fashioned and thinks that’s what will make my life complete. I’ve been happy without them and haven’t given it a second thought.”
Fiona reached across and squeezed Aislinn’s hand. “Relax, Ais. Let’s talk this through. I’m not sure we can help you solve things in one afternoon, but we can help you sort through some of your feelings.”
Aislinn wiped her cheeks with the back of her hand. “Alright. Let’s start with what the pregnancy could do to my magic. I don’t want to start blowing things up. I remember when you almost burned down Pymm’s Pondside when you were first learning your magic, Fiona.”
The question hit too close to home for my comfort and made my stomach flip-flop. I should tell them what was happening to me. That might make Aislinn feel better and reassure her that she wouldn’t be alone. We could get through this together.
“You already know the answer to that one. What happened when your cousin was pregnant with her son? Did she burn her house down? Or injure her wife?” Fiona had a point.
And she dashed any hope of me finding common ground with her. Only young witches and Fae had trouble controlling their power. It was why we had a special school for the supernaturals. The building and everything in it was spelled to be fireproof. And the instructors were experts at stopping enchantments before they went out of control.
“See,” Aislinn said and waved her hands through the air. “I’m irrational. Our species wouldn’t have survived if our magic went crazy during pregnancy.”
I swallowed the pasta I was using to stuff my disappointment down. I needed to focus on Aislinn right now. She was freaking pregnant and scared. “You aren’t irrational. And saying that perpetuates the misnomer many have that pregnant women are nothing but emotional wrecks. It’s okay to have feelings. Sure, hormones amplify what you’re feeling, but it doesn’t mean you aren’t you. You are one of the strongest and smartest women I know.”
“Not to mention how selfless you are,” Fiona said around a mouthful of food.
Aislinn sounded like herself when she laughed at us. “What if I’m a bad mother? I mean, I don’t know anything about having a baby or taking care of one.”
Fiona got up and grabbed three fizzy drinks from the fridge. “That’s the easiest part about being a mom. As long as you can survive months of sleepless nights when they get up every two hours, you’re golden.”
I chuckled at that. “That’s oversimplified, but Fi is essentially right. Diapers are complicated but easy enough to learn. Breastfeeding is supposed to come naturally. You need to know that for some, it doesn’t. You will need to learn how to do a million things, but you can master each of them. The only thing you can’t be taught is how to survive when you have to get up every two hours to feed the baby and change it. The process takes so long you barely get forty-five minutes of sleep at a time if you’re lucky.”
Fiona popped the tab on her can and sipped her drink. “And we will be here for you throughout all of that. We’ve both been there and done that. No way will we leave you hanging wh
en you need us most. What are some of your other worries?”
“I’ve heard my whole life how you fall in love with your kids instantly when you see them. What if I don’t? What will happen if I have to work at falling in love with my kid.”
I had no experience with that. My heart was lost to my kids before they were ever born. My attachment to them only grew stronger with their births. “I can’t see that happening to you, but if it does, we will help you through that, as well."
“It’s not a matter of not loving your child. It’s not having this overwhelming sense of love for them. I’ve seen it happen countless times when I worked in the hospital. I found the parents with kids in the NICU were more likely to experience this than others. Their kids were mainly in incubators with tubes and IVs and countless other apparatus attached to them that prevented them from holding their kids. What I can tell you is that every parent developed that closeness by the time their kids left the hospital.”
I’d heard Fiona talk about her patients and their parents many times over the years. Still, I never considered the impact on their relationship because of their situation. Hearing what she dealt with showed me that she was far more than a nurse in her professional life. It’s likely what made her so good at rolling with various situations now.
“What else are you worried about?” I asked Aislinn.
“I don’t want to do this alone. I know I have you, but I want my baby to have a father, and I have no idea how Argies will feel about all of this.” I understood Aislinn’s fear. It was every woman’s hidden terror. We all wanted the other parent there for our kids and worried they’d walk away without looking back.
Fiona set her drink down. “There’s no way of knowing without asking him. I don’t know him all that well, but he seems like a standup guy. I’m sure he will be there for you and your child.”
Aislinn sighed and cradled her head in her hands. “This is where I get stuck and can’t see a way out. I don’t want to tell him and ask him because I know you’re right. He will leave his realm and come here to be a father. But I don’t want him to leave Eidothea when he is needed out of obligation. That isn’t fair to him. He didn’t choose to get me pregnant. He shouldn’t lose his life just because I decide to keep it.”
I didn’t envy Aislinn’s position. I was in knots about telling my best friends my magic was malfunctioning. She was facing far more life-altering issues. "You’re taking responsibility for far too much. By not telling him, you deny him the chance to be a part of his kid’s life. You can run yourself in circles over that. Ultimately, right now, all you need to worry about is whether or not you want this child. You can’t consider anyone else’s opinion until you’ve made up your own mind. The rest of the details like diapers and Argies can be addressed at a later date.”
Aislinn lifted her head and smiled at Fiona and me. “You’re right. I want this baby. It’s my last chance, and I want her. It helps to know I can count on you guys. Oh Gods, am I crazy?”
Fiona chuckled. “You aren’t insane. Every prospective mother goes through similar emotions. Right now, you have to focus on taking care of yourself and getting proper prenatal care. We will help you cross other bridges as they come up.”
“Thank you both. I couldn’t do this without you guys. Can you do me a favor, Fi? Tell Bas not to say anything if he sees or hears from Argies. I will tell him when the time comes, but not right now,” Aislinn asked.
Chapter 13
I wiped the sweat from my forehead as I stopped wiping down the kitchen counters. I looked like a Goth girl dressed up for a night on the town. My eyes were a dark purple, and most of my skin matched. My body still hurt all over, but it was easier to move around than it had been yesterday.
Fiona and Bas stayed with me again last night. They left this morning after I reassured her I would be careful and call immediately if the demon reappeared. I understood my friend’s concern. I jumped at every noise and wondered if the slightest twitch in my chest was a signal my wards were crossed again.
Fiona was the best company. I adored her, but she had become a helicopter friend since the incident, and I needed a break from the hovering. Not to mention I couldn’t be responsible for my friends being harmed. I wasn’t sure we would be able to beat the demon if it showed up at my backdoor again. The power it had stolen from other paranormals made it a formidable opponent.
The questions were getting to be a bit much as well. I didn’t have an answer for Fiona when she asked why I was being targeted. I was pretty sure she sensed I was hiding something. She knew me better than I knew myself.
I loved my friends more than anything. Fiona had been in my life forever, where Aislinn had moved back to Cottlehill after her divorce. We were in different grades, so I didn’t spend much time with her growing up. We never talked or hung out.
But that didn’t make her less of a friend than Fiona. Friendship wasn’t about who’d been in your life forever, but someone that walked into your life and said, ‘I’m here,’ and proved it. Aislinn and Fiona had done that a hundred times over. Now it was my turn to return the favor.
I grabbed my cell phone and dialed my bookstore. My chest and head pounded even more while I listened to the phone ring. “Pleasure Bound, this is Marissa. How can I help you?”
“Marissa, it’s Violet. I have another favor to ask.”
“Violet! How are you? I heard about your accident. Is anything broken?” Fiona had called the Siren I asked to cover for me when I needed help at the bookstore. Our kids were in grade school together, and we got to know one another throughout the years. Given her detailed description, I had to assume there was a mundie in the store.
“I’m healing. Thankfully nothing was broken, but the demon left me drained and weak, which is why I’m calling Mari. I need you to cover the shop for me for a couple more days if you can.”
“I’d be more than happy to help. I was going to meet Mae for lunch tomorrow, but I can cancel that. Is this the same one that attacked Faye?” Her voice lowered over the last part, confirming there was a customer there.
“I can say with certainty that it was the same demon because I’m the one that came across it attacking Faye in the park. I just wish I could have arrived sooner. She’d be awake right now if I had.” I didn’t need to tell her the last part, but I wanted my version to spread. It was the only way to combat the council’s lies.
Her gasp was audible through the tiny speaker. “Do you think that’s why you were, um, targeted? I had nightmares thinking it might target any one of us.”
“Your guess is as good as mine, but if I had to guess, I would say he locked on me because he wants me out of the way.” I couldn’t admit it taunted me in the park. I had no idea what his interest in me meant.
“That makes sense. Is there anything else I can do to help?”
I shook my head from side to side even though she couldn’t see me. Habit was a wonderful thing. “No. I’ll be able to get rest and not worry about the store knowing you’re there. Call me if you need anything or have any questions. Two special orders should arrive tomorrow. Thanks again.” I hung up the phone, so she couldn’t keep me talking any longer.
I couldn’t stay in this house a moment longer. The chances of the demon making a move in the middle of the day were low, but I needed to get away from here. I didn’t want to call Fiona and have her return. I didn’t want to stay with her or Aislinn. That would be bringing the demon to their doorstep.
Neither needed that headache. Aislinn was dealing with enough with her pregnancy. It was still difficult to believe she was going to have a baby at forty. Her fortieth birthday was next month. No way was I going to lead that much danger to her house by staying with her.
Fiona had Isidora to think about. She’d inadvertently brought her grandmother back from the dead and made her a ghoul. None of us understood exactly what that means, but according to Sebastian, Fiona’s new beau, the demon could possess Isidora.
We were all supernaturals
of one kind or another and would live longer than mundies, but we were ready to be in the prime of our lives. None of us asked for the chaos and danger we’ve faced the past six months. I knew my friends had my back, but I could give them a break and visit my family’s cabin a couple hours away.
There was no way the demon could track me there. I hadn’t even been there for five years. The kids and I went out there after Dathan left me for a mini-vacation, and we hadn’t been back. I was too busy at the bookstore.
I grabbed some reusable bags and filled them with groceries I would need while I was there. I didn’t feel safe enough staying in the house while I was so weak. Once I healed more and was in better shape to fight back, I would return.
After leaving the bags of food by the front door, I climbed the stairs at a snail’s pace to pack my clothes. It took more effort than I expected, and I had to sit on my bed and rest. This was precisely why I refused to stay and be a burden to my friends.
I sat there, bracing my head in my hands while sucking in short breaths. I’d never had anything like asthma or breathing problems, so I had no tricks to help with the spinning behind my eyelids or the tingling in my fingers and toes. It took fifteen minutes before I could get to my feet again and grab my overnight bag.
The denim tote was as big as a suitcase and would hold everything I’d need. I grabbed three pairs of leggings, some sweatshirts, and t-shirts, then added pajamas and underwear. I contemplated throwing in my boots but decided to stick with my sneakers. I wouldn’t need anything else out there.
I had most of my toiletries on the counter in the bathroom, making it easy to add them to the bag. By the time I was done, the thing had weighed a ton. It seemed that way to me. Gritting my teeth, I lifted it with both hands and headed for the stairs.
A curse slipped from my mouth when I couldn’t keep hold of the thing. I watched as it hit the top of the steps and tumbled all the way down. At least I hadn’t packed enough to fill it up. Usually, I was one to embrace hardships. Ever since my divorce, the universe seemed determined to teach me a lesson in humility.