“Do you still remember how to horseback ride?” she asked softly.
“It’s been a while,” I admitted. “Why?”
“I was thinking we could use the fresh air. My family owns a couple of private villas out in the countryside. Maybe we can plan a little clandestine meeting.”
I raised my eyebrows at her, amused. “Clandestine, huh? Would I get to have you all to myself?”
She brushed her fingers through my hair and giggled. “Oh, yes. I’d imagine you would. It’s very private out there. No chance of our families finding out.”
“Imagine all the things we could do.”
“Maybe the horses won’t be the only thing I’ll ride.”
Oliver groaned loudly. “Seriously? Right in front of my salad?”
Marina threw her head back and laughed. It was honestly the most beautiful sound on the planet. Anybody who disagreed could fight me on that.
“But seriously,” she continued, “what do you think?”
“My only concern is sneaking in,” I said. “You’re not allowed to go anywhere without your private security detail.”
“I’ll just tell them to wait outside like I always do.”
“You’re going to make old Gary and Harold wait outside the villa for a whole week?”
“A whole week?”
I nodded. “I’ve already got an entire itinerary planned for the both of us. It doesn’t actually involve much outside of the bedroom, so–”
“Jesus,” hissed Oliver. He threw his hands up over his head and rose from his desk chair. He’d been doodling some new designs for an upcoming collection. Judging by the pink flush of his cheeks and his knotted brow, I was fairly certain he’d given up for the day. He turned to us and pinched his thumb and forefinger together. “I’m this close to drowning in all this heterosexuality.”
“Your fingers are touching,” I told him.
“Exactly. I’ll be in the front of the shop doing inventory if you need me.”
“But you hate doing inventory,” Marina teased.
Oliver shot us both a dirty glare. “I know. But not as much as being subjected to”—he gestured vaguely in our direction—“this.”
The moment he disappeared around the corner, Marina and I burst into a fit of giggles. I loved how easy it was to fall back into things. We spoke and laughed and enjoyed each other’s company like our ten years apart hadn’t even happened. I felt at ease around her, completely whole.
It didn’t take very long before Marina started to kiss me again. She cupped my face with her soft, delicate hands as I slithered my arms around her waist and held her close. Marina brushed the line of my jaw with her fingertips, scraping over the stubble of my five o’ clock shadow. Her mouth was so wonderfully soft against mine, and her tongue was devilish in the way it teased. I couldn’t count how many times Marina managed to leave me breathless, heart pounding in my chest like the first night I kissed her beneath the mistletoe.
I could have lost myself in her. Closing my eyes, all I could concentrate on was the smell of her skin, the heat of her body, the softness of her angelically long blonde hair. I wondered what would have happened to the two of us had I stayed in Brooklandia. What would have happened if Father didn’t send me away to Allendes for school? Could Marina and I have gotten together earlier, made use of those ten years to be with one another? Maybe our families could have gotten along for our sake instead of forcing us into hiding.
To be perfectly honest, all of this sneaking around was starting to get to me. I wasn’t going to complain aloud because I was just so grateful to be holding Marina in my arms. But the paranoia was starting to sink in, started eating away at my guts to leave me feeling sick. As thrilling as it was to see Marina, I would have given the world to see her whenever I wanted. We had to jump through all sorts of hoops and hurdles to get to each other without raising the suspicions of the palace or of my parents.
We couldn’t text or call one another because all of Marina’s calls were screened for security purposes, and email was definitely out of the question because that would have left a traceable trail. All it took was one message sent to the wrong person for everything to blow up in our faces. Since Marina was under constant observation from both her security team and the public, it was almost impossible to get a word to her. Had it not been for Oliver going back and forth on our behalf, seeing Marina would have been impossible.
On one hand, I was elated to be with her. I savored every second that I could. But on the other hand, an underlying worry hung over my head and tried to crush my shoulders into the ground. What if we were caught? What would happen to us then? How long were we going to last like this? I didn’t want to say anything, though. It was so obvious that Marina was happy and having a good time. I tried convincing myself that this was more than enough, that we’d deal with everything at a later time. The only thing I needed to do was to focus on her.
She was all that mattered to me.
“What are you thinking?” she whispered against my lips, voice sweet and gentle.
I shrugged a shoulder, running one of my hands up to comb through her long locks. “Just making a list.”
“Of?”
“Of all the restaurants I want to take you to one day.”
“Yeah?”
“Do you remember Old Joe’s Pizzeria?”
She nodded. “We used to go every Friday evening to grab a slice. Best pizza in the entire kingdom.”
I smiled at her, nuzzled the tip of her nose with mine. “You used to always steal my pepperoni slices.”
“I wasn’t stealing. You gave them to me because you didn’t like them.”
“I actually love pepperoni.”
Marina giggled and stroked my cheeks with the pads of her thumbs. “Really? Why didn’t you tell me?”
“I only gave them to you because I wanted to make you smile.”
There was a gleam in her eyes. “You’re so sweet.”
I chuckled. “I do my best.”
“I have a question for you.”
“Fire away, Princess.”
“When did you first start liking me?”
I tilted my head back and thought about her question. Marina took this as an invitation to nuzzle her face in the crook of my neck, holding onto me tight. She pressed light kisses against my collarbone, sighing contently.
“Do you remember that one summer when you pushed me into the fountain?” I asked. “I think we were five or six.”
“The one in the royal gardens?”
“That’s the one.”
“I didn’t push you,” she argued. “You tripped.”
“Over your foot, which you deliberately stuck out.”
I felt her smile against my neck. “I’m still not wrong.”
“Okay, okay. Whatever works for you.”
“So I tripped you and you fell into the fountain. That’s when you started to like me?”
“No,” I corrected. “It was about a week after. I was so mad at you that I refused to come visit for an entire week.”
“I remember that, actually. I spent the entire time pouting in the library.”
“Yeah, well, I remember being so embarrassed that I didn’t want to see you anymore. But I quickly realized that I was super lonely without you. That was when I realized.”
Marina moved to kiss my cheeks, the tip of my nose, my forehead. She left little butterfly kisses everywhere, smiling the entire time. “Did you think about me when you were in Allendes?”
“All the time. Did you ever think about me?”
She nodded. “I did, actually. I wondered what happened to you after your letters stopped.”
“I’m sorry. Life got a little busy.”
“There’s no need to apologize. I could have just as easily reached out to you too.”
I grinned at her. “Have you ever been?”
“To Allendes? No. Father would never allow it.”
“I’ll take you one day. It’s beautiful th
ere this time of year. I can take you sailing.”
“You sail? Since when?”
I laughed. “I learned a couple years back. I even joined my school’s rowing team.”
She reached for my biceps and gave them a squeeze. “That explains these, then.”
“Nah, I’m naturally sculpted.”
“Sure, sure,” she hummed. “Endowed with naturally good looks. Mere mortals tremble before you.”
“You think I’m good looking?”
Marina smiled into the kiss she gave me. “Incredibly.”
Just as I was about to deepen the kiss, I heard the little brass bell above the front door to Oliver’s shop jingle. I normally wouldn’t care. This wouldn’t be the first time Oliver had people browsing around his collection for something to buy. As long as Marina and I stayed hidden in his work studio, our secret would be safe. We’d be perfectly fine so long as we didn’t make a sound.
But today, something was off. I could hear two voices out front. One belonged to Oliver, his charismatic charm and distinguished lilt making it easy to identify. The other voice sounded familiar too, but I couldn’t quite put my finger on why.
“Brandon, what a pleasant surprise,” said Oliver. “I wasn’t expecting you until tomorrow.”
Marina froze against me. We exchanged a concerned glance.
“I know, I’m sorry. I should have called.”
“No, no, that’s perfectly fine,” continued Oliver. “Were you running errands?”
“Yes. I was in the area, so I thought I’d pop by.”
“You’re so cute. Actually, did you want to grab a bite to eat? I’ve been cooped up in here all morning.”
“I could do lunch. You have to promise to let me pay this time, though. I already owe you for two dinners.”
“Oh, stop that. You know how much I like spoiling you. Let me just grab my coat.”
“Okay.”
“Um… Can you stay here?”
“Uh, sure. Why?”
“Oh, it’s just a huge mess in the back. I’ve got everything just so.”
“I promise not to jump your bones again, if that’s what you’re worried about.”
Oliver laughed, sounding the slightest bit nervous. “That’s not it. You’re always welcome to do that. I’m just serious about it being a mess back there.”
“Alright, alright. I’ll wait–”
Marina stifled a sneeze into the corner of her elbow. The look of terror that plastered itself on her face did a fairly good job of reflecting my own fears. If we were caught together like this, there was really no telling what would happen. I hadn’t had the fortune of running into Brandon again since the parliamentary cocktail party, but I wasn’t eager to repeat the experience. He’d been pissed at me then, protective of Marina even before we got together. If Brandon discovered that we’d been meeting in secret for almost a month, I could only imagine the shitshow that would arise because of it.
“Is somebody here?” he asked Oliver, suspicion dripping off of every word.
Oliver chuckled anxiously. “Just the model I’ve been working with. I had him in for a fitting.”
“Oh,” said Brandon, sounding the slightest bit peeved.
“You’re not jealous, are you?”
“What? No,” he said way too quickly.
“I’ll tell him to take the rest of the day. Be right back, alright?”
Marina quickly hopped off my lap and helped me up, standing before me and the door just in case Brandon happened to follow Oliver down the hall. Luckily, Oliver was the only one to pop his head through the crack in the studio workshop’s doorframe. He pointed directly at me and then jerked his thumb in the direction of the back exit. I nodded, scooping Marina’s hand up in mine as we both made haste.
We didn’t make it very far down the back alley before one of Marina’s security detail spotted her. He’d been stationed at the end of the alley to make sure no one could sneak their way in. Unfortunately, that meant I couldn’t sneak my way out.
“Princess Marina?” he called, squinting against the noonday sun.
With more strength than I realized she had, Marina shoved me behind a large stack of cardboard boxes, hiding me from sight.
“Uh, yes. Hello,” she mumbled awkwardly. She stepped forward quickly so the guard didn’t have to approach and accidentally discover me.
“What are you doing out here, Princess?”
“I just wanted a bit of fresh air.” Marina stretched her arms above her head and made a show of yawning. “It was getting a bit stuffy in there.”
“I can send someone to fetch a fan for you.”
“Oh, no that’s okay.”
“Shall I escort you home, then?”
Marina paused. I looked to her, but her eyes were glued to the pavement before her feet. I didn’t want to see her go. Not this early, at least. Every fiber in my body screamed at me to move, to pull her into one last embrace before she was inevitably whisked away.
But I couldn’t. If her bodyguard discovered me, realized who I was, it’d be all over for us.
“Okay,” she said quietly. “Let’s head back.”
Defeated, I could do nothing else except watch her walk away. Every retreating footstep tugged at my heart. I didn’t know how much more of this sneaking around I could take. I was really starting to feel like a dirty little secret.
And I didn’t like it at all.
12
Marina
I didn’t think I’d ever be one of those girls. I was sitting on a pile of soft cushions in the corner of my private library, a stack of books sitting just to my right. But my mind wasn’t on the words. I didn’t care what the authors had to say, or what sorts of adventures my protagonists found themselves on.
All I could think about was him.
Rodrigo.
Sweet, darling, charming Rodrigo. Rodrigo who made laughing easier than breathing. Rodrigo with his beautiful blue eyes that made me want to squeal in delight every time he looked at me. Rodrigo and his big, strong hands and sturdy arms that made me feel safe. Rodrigo with his deep voice that rumbled right through me, made me completely enraptured with the sound of his words.
We hadn’t been able to spend the night together since that early Christmas morning. I didn’t mind, though. I was perfectly happy with kissing and hugging and talking. Rodrigo and I could talk for literal hours, and I would never get bored. He always had something interesting to say. Whether we were reminiscing about childhood memories, or if he was telling me about Allendes and his travels—I just couldn’t get enough. I drank up everything he had to say and still felt inexplicably thirsty for more.
We hadn’t spoken to each other in over twenty-four hours, but I was already going crazy. I wanted to know what he was doing, what he was wearing, what delicious foods he was eating. I wanted to know if he was thinking about me as much as I was thinking about him. Did he miss me as much as I did him? Did he feel as bad as I did that we had to part ways so suddenly yesterday afternoon?
I really didn’t want to go, but my bodyguard was standing right there. Had he taken another step forward, if that pile of boxes hadn’t been in the way for Rodrigo to hide behind, what would have happened? What sort of panic and chaos could have swept through the palace upon learning that the Princess, the heir to the throne, was having an affair with the son of an enemy?
Father would probably have Rodrigo thrown in jail. Father had no discernable cause, but given his team of advisors, I was sure he’d find one. Maybe even make one up if he really wanted to. He was the King, after all. His word was law. And if Father wanted Rodrigo imprisoned for so much as looking at me, it could happen.
Mother would never let me hear the end of it, that was for sure. She’d probably talk my ear off and go on and on about how seeing Rodrigo was a blatant attack on the throne. She’d probably try to convince me to look at all the other suitors I had waiting in line for my hand in marriage. Mother hadn’t exactly been shy before about hiring a ma
tchmaker to set me up with a foreign prince. She’d find a way to talk down to Rodrigo, point out and highlight every single one of his flaws until I could no longer ignore them.
I sighed and tucked my knees close to my chest, my books completely forgotten.
This was all so complicated.
But it didn’t have to be. If only I hadn’t been born the Princess. If only Father and Senator Sabatino were on better terms. If only Rodrigo and I could be together without worry about optics or allegiances or status differences.
Maybe, in another life, I could be born a commoner and enjoy all the freedoms that would bring. I could do what I wanted—slouch at the dinner table, speak as loudly as I wanted, dress in a mishmash of colors and patterns because I didn’t care what the gossip magazines would say about my fashion sense. If I were a commoner, I could travel anywhere in the world. I’d explore the far corners of the globe—from the highest mountains, to the deepest, thickest parts of the jungle.
I could love who I wanted.
That was when I realized just how far gone I was. Rodrigo and I had only been seeing each other for a little over a month, but I’d fallen so hard and so fast that there was no way for me to stop.
Everything about him made me so unbelievably happy. His smile made me smile, his laugh made me laugh. The butterflies in my stomach went crazy whenever I was around him, fluttering about like they were about to explode.
I didn’t care who Rodrigo was. I didn’t care that his father was trying to oust mine. In the grand scheme of things, did I even really want to wear the crown? I supposed every little girl in the world secretly wished they could be a princess, grow up surrounded by the lavish things. But I was the exact opposite. I wanted to be normal, an average citizen. That crown that I’d one day wear would one day be a shackle, keeping me from the things that I truly wanted. Being the future Queen of Brooklandia was as much a privilege as it was a burden. I’d one day be chained down by obligation.
Surely that was no way to live.
Perhaps that was why I enjoyed being with Rodrigo so much. Even when we were children, he rarely treated me like a Princess. He treated me like any other kid, any other friend. Through the eyes of a kid, status meant nothing. It was for this reason that I considered Rodrigo one of my first, truest friends.
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