“Okay, so you’re not an alcoholic,” Remo said.
“I haven’t had a drink for a year and a half until today.” He lowered the bottle between his legs. “Tell me,” he said, “how come I couldn’t find fingerprints on you anywhere? I mean how did you people hide that?”
“Simple,” Remo said. “I’m a dead man. Remo Williams. Name mean anything to you?”
“Doesn’t ring a bell.” The bottle went up again.
“Policeman executed for a killing in Newark?”
The fat man shook his head. “You really dead?” he asked.
“You might say so. Yeah. It’s a good way not to exist.”
“Couldn’t think of a better one,” Hopkins said. “Say why don’t you let me live until at least I get you guys my notes? What if someone finds my notes and the carbons of the letters?”
“Sorry, pal. There are no notes and no carbons. Only three letters. One I took out of your room. Your aunt Harriet had the second and she lost that one today when she was involved in a terrible accident. The third is with Dr. Harold W. Smith. Your friend. My boss. The head of CURE. You’re out of the game”
“Can I have another bottle? One more. I mean a last drink. Okay?”
Remo reached into the metal container, felt through the ice for another bottle, grabbed it by the neck and hoisted it out as Hopkins made a lunge for his groin. Hopkins found himself suddenly seated right back where he was, with a bottle in his hand. He opened it, tried to catch Remo’s head with the cork, missed, shrugged and said, “You’d kill me anyway, drink or no drink. You know I could nurse this if I wanted to.” He drank deeply. “I’m no alcoholic.”
“If you say so,” Remo said.
It was a beautiful cove he saw, rising dark and green from the clear sweet Caribbean. A paradise. Some people went to this place for their honeymoon and brought their families back later. People who could get married and reproduce their kind.
“Say, you know I was thinking,” Hopkins said. “Why don’t you bring me into CURE. I’m pretty smart. I figured out something was going on. Now you know you could get me anytime, right? You can use a good brain. Look, I’m no alky no matter what anyone tells you. Ask Smith. Well, don’t ask him ’cause he thinks anyone who takes two drinks is an alcoholic. But I’d be good. I would. Real good.”
Remo’s mouth became dry and his stomach felt the slow dissolution of distaste. He did not look down at the man beneath him, but out to the flatness of the sea until it curved round in the distance. People now knew the world was round. And this proved it. It was simple. It’s always simple after someone else does it for you. Hopkins was still talking.
“Okay, I understand why Smith might not want me. But if you control the killer-arm… ”
“I am the killer-arm.”
“Well, if you’re the killer-arm, boy, could you hold up CURE? Huh? What about it? Huh? Like the idea, don’t you?”
“It’s great. Finish your drink.”
“A deal? Huh? A deal?”
“No,” said Remo.
“Ah, you’re probably just some low-rank gunman. There’s gotta be more than one guy in the killer-arm. About as much chance of you being it as me being an alcoholic. Last drink. The last one.”
Remo looked down at the man who looked at his last drink.
“I could take this or leave this, you know. I’m not an alcoholic. Take it or leave it. But I’m gonna take it because you’re going to kill me anyway. Bottoms up.”
When Remo saw the last air bubble stop in the bottle as the last of the champagne drained into Hopkins’ open gullet, he pushed with his right knee, sending the man leftward and with his right hand he reached out, grabbed the fat rolled neck and pushed, out and down into the tepid blue-green water of the Caribbean where he gently drowned the thrashing figure.
If anyone hidden in the cove had been watching, it would have appeared that Hopkins fell over the side and Remo reached for him but it was too late. Even though Remo reached into the water all the way up to his armpit, he was unable to reach him, and was able to grab him into the boat only three minutes later when the man floated up. But it was too late. He was dead. Well, the coroner said, every alcoholic drinks himself into the grave if he thinks he’s not an alcoholic. “They just can’t take a single drink, can they, sir?”
CHAPTER THREE
FOR WESTERNERS WHO GET HANGED, or shot, or cut to death or freeze in passes that are unpassable in winter, there are mournful ballads sung from generation to generation.
For Vinnie the Rock Palumbo, there wasn’t even a missing persons report by his wife. When you are married to a Vincent Alphonse Palumbo and he does not return from a “sweet little job” you do not wish law enforcement people to know about it. Because then you, too, may not return from a walk to the supermarket or a visit to relatives.
If you are Vinnie Palumbo’s father you do not miss him all that much, because the last time you saw him was eighteen years ago, when he took a pipe to your skull over an allowance dispute.
If you are Willie the Plumber Palumbo, you definitely do not talk about your brother’s disappearance, because you have a very good idea what happened to him.
And if you are Vinnie the Rock Palumbo, you make no noise to anyone because you are frozen inside the cab of your Ocean Wheel tractor trailer truck, your body like rock, your eyes ice crystals in your white frosted skull.
It indeed had been a sweet job. Your brother had said: “It’s a fast two hundred dollars to drive a truck a couple of blocks.”
And you answered: “You’re full of crap, Willie the Plumber. How much of it are you taking a walk with?”
“Okay, Vinnie,” Willie the Plumber had said, coughing through his cigarette. “Because you’re my brother, three hundred dollars.”
“Five hundred.”
“Five hundred. That’s what I’m getting to pay you.”
“Five hundred in advance.”
“A hundred in advance and four hundred later. Okay? You got your teamsters’ card?”
“I got my teamsters’ card. And I ain’t moving, until I get three hundred dollars up front.”
“Okay. Because you’re my brother, two hundred fifty dollars up front and for anyone else I’d say no.”
So you, Vincent the Rock Palumbo, drive your rig onto Pier 27 one hot August morning and by 4 p.m., the Ocean Wheel container was hooked onto your horse and you drive slowly out. You also notice that people in cars are closing in on you for a tail and a hot dog truck starts to move out.
You notice three squad cars of local bulls in plainclothes, but you keep a steady pace, and getting no signals from the car in front of you in which your brother sits, you follow it to a warehouse where your truck gets a new paste-on sign calling it Chelsea Trucking. Apparently you suddenly are no longer being tailed.
You wait until dark, then pull out again with the three other trucks following, and this time you are following somebody else, not your brother, in a car ahead. You follow him to the entrance of the New Jersey Turnpike where he signals you to take a cutoff to the new Hudson Industrial Park complex; two buildings and a set of swamps. You are instructed to drive your truck down a ramp into a hole in the ground and wait. You had been told not to pack any weapons, so you brought two. A .38 special in the glove compartment and a .45 under the seat.
You expertly park your rig in the right hand corner of the square pit with the metal and tubular linings. The other men maneuver their vehicles next to yours so that you are part of four trucks side by side in the same metal lined pit. You are told to stay in your trucks.
You take out your .45, Just in case. You see the driver next to you reach for something also. Behind you, heavy steel doors close off the ramp. Overhead, a roof comes down over the trucks in the pit, in prefabricated sections. You were told to stay where you were, so you do, but get out of your cab to chat with the driver next to you. He tells you he is getting six hundred dollars for the drive. You curse your sonofabitch brother, Willie the Plumbe
r Palumbo.
It is dark; there are no lights. Soon the matches wear out. One of the men has a flashlight. You search your cab. No flashlight. For a few blocks, you certainly weren’t going to buy one and the truck owners did not provide one.
The driver next to you suggests you open one of the trucks, maybe it’s liquor that was hijacked. You say no because the people will be back in a minute and for a ten dollar bottle of booze who the hell wants to blow a few hundred bucks.
The driver next to you says booze would be good now because it’s getting chilly in this place. You are dressed for the summer and indeed it is getting chilly. One of the drivers on the other side is banging the sealed section where the ramp was. He is yelling to be let out. Suddenly, you go weak. What if they aren’t going to let you out?
That’s impossible. You’ve got the goods. Besides, you’ve got artillery to enforce it. If they want the goods, they’ve got to come back.
You start stamping your feet and banging your ribs. You’re in a damn freezer. When you get hold of Willie, you’re going to mess him up good.
One of the guys says they should shoot their way out and someone further over says this is stupid because they’re not only underground but those are freezing coils and if you rupture one of those, you’ll be gassed.
So you climb into your cab and start your engine and turn on the heater until you hear a knocking at the window. It’s one of the drivers. He says to save everyone from carbon monoxide poisoning, they should all get in one cab and use just one heater.
You say okay and they all pile into yours, four guys crammed into the cab. One of them starts praying. About 6 a.m. by the watch, the truck is running out of diesel fuel so one of the guys says he will go to get more from the other trucks. He doesn’t come back. It gets colder in the cab even with the bodies and it’s hard to breathe. You draw matches for who is to go to one of the other trucks for fuel. You curse yourself for not taking the fuel at the beginning, but then no one expected to be in there that long. The guy who had parked next to you draws short. You all chip in your shirts, so that he is wearing three summer shirts.
When you open the cab door, you know he is not going to make it, because you can practically cut the carbon monoxide fumes. You turn off the lights because with the engine down, you need the battery as much as possible.
You’re alone with one other driver and about noon, shivering shirtless in the cab, he asks you to shoot him. You say no because you have enough sins on your soul already. He begs. He says he’ll do it himself if you don’t.
You don’t and he starts to cry and the tears freeze on his face. You’re not feeling anything. If you don’t kill yourself and offer this up to God, maybe he’ll take you into heaven, or, at least, purgatory. You had always planned to make amends and you vow that if you get out, you’re going straight.
And then you are numb all over. You’re very sleepy and you wonder why you had always feared death.
Thus ended the ballad of Vinnie the Rock Palumbo.
Oh, Frozen to Death.
Oh, Frozen to Death.
On a hot August Day in New Jersey.
CHAPTER FOUR
THE FRAIL WISP OF AN AGED ORIENTAL was named Chiun and Remo Williams watched him with respect.
Chiun stood on top of a chest of drawers near a porthole in the stateroom, a spiral bound notebook in his hand.
He tore out one sheet of paper, then held it at arm’s length like a dirty diaper, out over the floor.
He opened his fingers and released the paper and softly said, “go.”
The paper fluttered down, sloshing from side to side. When it was four feet from the floor, it stopped, speared on Remo’s fingertips.
Remo pulled the torn paper off his fingertips and won a smile from Chiun. “Good,” the old Oriental said, the smiling creasing the parchment texture of his face. “Now again.”
This time Chiun crumpled the paper slightly and reached up on tiptoes before letting it drop and calling “go.” The paper dropped faster, with less side-to-side movement. It dropped straight to the floor and lay there on the nylon carpet like an unanswered accusation.
Chiun stared angrily at Remo. “Why?” he said.
Remo was laughing. “I can’t help it, Chiun. You look so damn silly standing up there. I was thinking you’d look terrific if I had you sprayed gold and put you on my mantel. Then I had to laugh. People do, you know.”
“I am well aware,” Chiun said in his clipped, precise Oriental tones, “that mankind is the only species that laughs. Mankind is also the only species that dies from lack of conditioning. It may happen to you, Remo, if you do not practice. This floater stroke is very important and very useful, but it must be done correctly.”
And for the twentieth time on the cruise aboard the S. S. Atlantica, Remo heard the explanation of the floater stroke. How it depended for its effectiveness on the mass of the victim or the object to be struck. That there was no energy loss between the time the stroke was uncocked and impact. But that if the object were missed, the force could easily dislocate the striker’s shoulder.
“Chiun,” Remo had said, “I know seventy-eight different strokes. I know strokes with the finger and the toes, with the hands, knuckles, feet, elbows, and knees and even with my hipbones. What the hell do I need another one for?”
“Because you must be perfect. After all, are you not Shiva, the Destroyer?” and Chiun had cackled, as he had so often since they had returned from China on a mission for the President during which Remo was thought to be the reincarnation of one of the Hindu gods. Chiun chuckled about it only when he talked to Remo. He laughed to no one else, for a very simple reason. He believed the story. Remo Williams was Shiva the Destroyer.
But he was also Chiun’s pupil and now Chiun tore another piece of paper from the notebook, held it above his head, released it, and softly called, “go.”
The paper fluttered down gently, and then it was not one sheet of paper anymore, it was two, sliced in half lengthwise by a chop from the hand of Remo Williams.
It would have been a very impressive display if anyone had seen it. But their suite of cabins was on the very top deck of the Atlantica. Outside their glass door and porthole windows, the deck had been sealed off as a private verandah, and there was only the sea.
Below the deck their cabins were on was another deck and below that another deck, and then another and another, until you were down in the bowels of the ship, and there were no more portholes because you were right at the waterline. There were cabins down there too except the furniture was not walnut, it was chipped paint steel and the floors had no carpet, they had only linoleum tile. And in the stern of the ship, in the cheapest, rockiest cabin the Atlantica had to offer, was Dr. Harold W. Smith, head of CURE, one of the several most powerful men in the world.
He lay in his hard bed trying desperately to focus his eyes on a spot in the ceiling until his stomach returned to normal. He had a theory that if he could somehow lock his eyes onto the spot, and then move when the spot moved, it would reduce the feeling of motion and he might survive.
But down that deep in a ship, the motion is not only one of rocking. The ship slides from side to side as well. It slid then and the spot went port. Dr. Smith went starboard and he kept going starboard until he rolled over onto his stomach and was reaching desperately for the waste paper basket.
Damn that Remo Williams. Sometimes Dr. Smith wondered if winning the war against crime was really worth having to put up with him.
Dr. Smith had contacted Remo in Nassau, where his cruise ship had tied up, and told Remo he should fly back to the states immediately for reassignment. Remo had refused. He told Dr. Smith he had made the finals of the dancing contest on board the ship and so he would have to cruise back or miss his chance at the gold cup. Why didn’t Dr. Smith fly down and sail back with him, Remo suggested.
“We’ll have plenty of time then to talk about the new assignment,” Remo said.
“I don’t have the
time to go sailing around the world with you,” Smith had said.
“Then I won’t tell you what happened to your old buddy Hopkins and his plan to blackmail CURE. You’ll find out about it someday when you get a secret letter in the mail asking you for forty-three billion dollars in ones.”
“Very funny,” Smith said. “I know what happened to Hopkins. I got a report.”
“Oh, balls. Well, come on down anyway and I’ll tell you what I did to Howard Hughes,” Remo said. He had insisted and importuned and become stubborn, and finally, after he guaranteed that he would get Smith a good cabin. Smith had agreed.
And now here he was, vomiting up his youth and his future, and hating Remo Williams more each minute.
But Harold W. Smith had not gotten where he was by shirking duty. He had not been tapped to head CURE, the government’s secret crime-fighting agency, because he lacked character. So he slowly got to his feet and, staggering slightly, moved across the room to take a black suitcase out of his closet. It was made of cardboard and it had no travel stickers on it. Then, carefully locking his door behind him, he began the walk up five decks to Remo Williams’ suite of cabins.
It was after 3 a.m. and the ship had gone to sleep. He met no one on the stairs or in the corridors. But Remo Williams was not in his room.
The decks were more deserted than the corridors now. It was wet and raw out on the decks and the wind swirled knifingly up out of the sea, impelling a fine mist across the ship and chilling the bones of anyone who stood there.
But Remo Williams was not cold. He looked carefully around the small wall that fenced off his private section of deck from the rest of the ship. There was no one in sight, which was as it should be.
Under his hands, Remo felt the heavy oaken top of the deck rail. It was five inches across, curved and wet from the mist of the sea. Remo kicked off his canvas slippers and hopped up unto the rail. He stood there for a moment, balanced precariously, standing straight up, seventy-five feet above the water, as he absorbed the ocean’s roll into his senses and let the muscles of his legs and nerves of his bare feet catch the hard rocking rhythms of the ship’s movement. Then he began to run, out around his verandah wall; then down the ship, balanced along the top of the deck railing. The ship rocked and rolled and slipped from side to side, but Remo ran rapidly in a world of his own.
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