“What are you afraid of, K?” Midnight asked, canting her head to the side.
“Of embarrassing you,” Kana said, her look direct.
Midnight looked at Kana for a moment, then she shook her head.
“Kana, there is no way you can embarrass me. You’re one of my very best friends. The question is, do you want to do it?”
Kana took another deep breath, then nodded. “I think Palani’s right. She said she thinks it’s important that people see that we’re regular people. That anyone can be gay, anyone can have feelings they don’t understand, it happens.”
“I think she’s right too,” Midnight said. “I know how much happier you’ve become since realizing who you were. If you want to do it, Kana, then do it.”
“You don’t think it will reflect badly on you and the office?” Kana asked, still unsure.
“Kana,” Midnight began, her voice ever patient, “as far as I’m concerned, a story about you and Palani is no different than all the press Rick and I get, being in love and all that. It’s about time they have someone else to watch,” she said with a wink.
“Oh, great…” Kana said, rolling her eyes.
“You honestly thought this would bother me, didn’t you?”
“I wasn’t sure,” Kana said.
“You’re my family, K,” Midnight said, putting her hand on Kana’s arm. “I love you no matter what. Nothing you can do or say will ever bother or embarrass me. Palani is the best thing that ever happened to you. I want you to share that with other people, okay?”
“Okay,” Kana said, grinning.
Kana let Palani know that night that she’d talked to Midnight and that she was willing to do the article.
“If they really want to do it,” Kana said, not sounding enthusiastic about the prospect.
They were in their living room. Kana was sitting on the couch, her long legs stretched out in front of her comfortably. Palani was standing at the counter going through the mail. It was something they did frequently when they were both home.
“They do want to do it, Kana,” Palani said, moving to sit on Kana’s lap and handing her the mail that was addressed to her.
Kana opened the few envelopes she’d received, glancing at the bills and setting them aside. “The whole picture thing makes me nervous,” she said, looking up at Palani.
“That’s because you don’t like people seeing your true self.”
“No,” Kana said, shaking her head. “I don’t like putting myself out there at all.”
“Because of work?” Palani asked, knowing that it was possibly a valid reason.
“No,” Kana said. “Hell, they photograph me behind Midnight all the time.” She made a face. “I’m not exactly undercover or anything.”
“Then what is it?” Palani asked, touching Kana’s cheek fondly.
Kana looked at her, tilting her head to the side.
“Look at you,” Kana said, taking Palani’s face in her hands gently. “You’re such an incredibly beautiful woman—tiny, delicate, perfect. Me, I’m… not,” Kana said, shrugging her shoulders simply.
Palani sighed, then pinned Kana with a look. “No, you’re not tiny, you’re not delicate,” she said softly. “But you’re something that not many women can be, Kana. You’re a combination of strong and beautiful. You have this incredible strong physique, combined with this beautiful proud face,” she said, her hands tracing Kana’s face. “Kana, you have qualities that no one can touch. Your strength, your pride—your very nature emanates through your eyes.”
She sat back, her eyes scanning Kana in assessment. “My thinking is, once they take one look at you, they’ll forget all about me.”
“Not likely,” Kana said, sitting up and capturing Palani’s lips with hers.
They kissed for a while, then got up to make dinner together. The feeling of worry nagged at Palani. She was afraid that any negative comments made about Kana’s appearance would hurt Kana. The last thing Palani wanted to do was expose Kana to the highly appearance-critical modeling world. Palani honestly felt that Kana was incredibly beautiful in her own way. On top of that, Kana had style in the way she dressed, and she had a presence that could not be ignored. Palani only hoped that Kana would be perceived the way that Palani perceived her. It was a thought that kept her awake nights after the decision to go forward with the article was made. She hoped it wasn’t a mistake.
***
Kashena Windwalker-Marshal was sitting at her desk in the office she shared with her best friend and partner, Sebastian Bach. They worked together at the Sacramento Attorney General’s office. They were in charge of security for the Sacramento office, as well as backup bodyguards for Midnight Chevalier. Kashena was just finishing up a report when her cell phone rang.
“Marshal,” she answered.
“Kashie, hi,” came a voice from the past.
Kashena was silent as she did her best to block the rush of feelings that started immediately.
“Hello,” she said, her voice calm.
“You’re still mad at me, right?” the caller said knowingly.
Kashena sighed. “I don’t have the energy to be mad at you anymore, Linda. What is it you want?” she asked, getting straight to the heart of the matter.
Predictably, Sebastian’s head snapped up at the name she used. He knew all about Linda, and how often he had to put the pieces back together whenever she showed up.
“Damn, Kash, don’t be mean,” Linda said, sounding offended. “I was calling to tell you I’m coming to town.”
“Okay,” Kashena said calmly, avoiding looking at Sebastian, who was now glowering at her.
“I want to see you, Kashie…” Linda said, her tone softer now.
Kashena closed her eyes, wincing at the sensation hearing that caused.
“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” she said, her voice not betraying her feelings.
“Come on, Kash,” Linda cajoled. “You know you want to see me.”
“Do I?” Kashena asked, her raised eyebrow reflected in her tone.
“Don’t be like that, Kashie,” Linda said, her voice dropping an octave. “I need to see you…” Her voice trailed off suggestively. Kashena was silent for full minute, prompting Linda to say, “Kash? Babe, you’re going to see me, aren’t you?”
Kashena blew her breath out. “Look, I’m at work. I can’t talk right now.”
“Baz is there, right?” Linda said, her tone taking on an edge.
“Yes, he is,” Kashena said.
“And he still hates my guts, right?”
“He’s still not fond of you, no.”
“Are you still a lesbian, Kash? Or has he told you you’re not allowed to be one anymore?” Linda snapped.
“I think this conversation is over,” Kashena said callously.
“Don’t hang up,” Linda added hastily. “Please, Kash, I’m sorry. The guy just pisses me off.”
Kashena nodded on her end, but said nothing.
“Kashie? I just want to see you, okay? That’s all, please?”
Kashena curled up her lips in self-disgust as she felt her resolve start to give. “Call me when you get into town. We’ll talk then.”
“Okay,” Linda said, knowing that was the best she was about to get.
As soon as Kashena hung up, she knew Sebastian was going to be all over her. And he was.
“Why did you even talk to her?” he asked, his tone berating.
“Don’t start with me, Baz,” she said, shaking her head. “Just because you’ve never been addicted to a woman in your life, doesn’t mean all of us are so damned lucky. Okay?”
“Yeah, well that bitch is worse than heroin,” he said.
“I agree with you,” Kashena said, “but she’s a habit I can’t seem to break.”
“Did you forget you’re living with someone?” Sebastian asked.
“Did you forget Carrie isn’t exactly the love of my life?” Kashena countered, thinking of the little redhead who was cu
rrently residing in her house, not actually going to school like she was supposed to be, failing all of her college courses.
“And Linda is? That irresponsible little twit?”
Kashena sighed. They went through this every time. Sebastian hated Linda with a passion.
“Well, don’t expect me to pick up the pieces this time,” he said.
“Uh-huh,” Kashena said, sounding unaffected.
“I’m serious.”
“I know.”
He stared at her, his eyes narrowed. She stared back at him undisturbed.
“Goddamn it!” Sebastian snapped.
Kashena grinned.
“It sucks that you know I’ll always be here for you, you know that?” he said, irritated.
“I know,” she said, doing her best to quash her grin.
“Don’t grin at me, Marine,” he said, his tone low.
“No, sir,” she said, her voice low like his.
He gritted his teeth. “I mean it.”
“I know,” she assured him, her lips still tugging in a grin.
“I need a drink.” He glanced at his watch.
“It’s only ten a.m., sir,” she replied, smiling now.
“And I care because?”
“Special Agent Supervisor, Attorney General’s office, Department of Justice, law enforcement… Ringing any bells?” she asked.
“Just shut up, will ya?” he said, still doing his best to be mad at her.
“Sir, yes sir.”
He gave her another pointed look, then went back to work.
***
Linda Rose was nothing but trouble. She had been since the day Kashena had met her.
Kashena and Sebastian had been on patrol four and a half years before. They’d gotten a call about a woman who was drunk and disorderly at a bar. At the bar, they’d encountered five-foot-two-inch Linda Rose, wearing a black cat suit, a long flowing scarlet cape, and knee-high black boots. She was a sight to behold, and drunk off her ass. She had long black hair that hung to her waist, and dark, almost black, eyes.
When they walked in, she was standing on the bar itself, dancing to the music from the jukebox. Sebastian and Kashena grinned at each other. Another wild one.
“Why don’t you come down?” Sebastian suggested to the girl on the bar.
Linda shook her head at him playfully, but her eyes were sharp with suspicion. She was also wavering dangerously on too-high heels.
“Come on down,” Kashena seconded, reaching her hand up to help Linda down.
Linda looked at Kashena. Their eyes connected, and Linda put her hand in Kashena’s immediately. In Kashena she sensed a savior, whereas in Sebastian she’d sensed a destroyer. As she climbed down from the bar, Linda’s heel caught on the edge and she fell. She was tiny, so Kashena was easily able to catch her and keep her from hitting the floor. That cemented Linda’s estimation of Kashena.
The bar owner was determined to press charges, since Linda had broken a number of things while up on the bar. So they had to arrest her.
“Please don’t,” Linda had begged Kashena, ignoring Sebastian altogether. “I’ll be good, I promise.”
Kashena had only shaken her head. “I’m sorry, hon, we have to,” she said soothingly. “Just relax and it’ll all be over soon, okay?”
“No!” Linda had screamed, the alcohol in her veins suddenly making her scared and violent.
She took a swing at Sebastian as he moved in to subdue her—she actually connected with his jaw, but he didn’t even flinch. He did, however, narrow his turbulent green eyes dangerously. Linda backed up into Kashena in terror. Kashena put her arm out, stopping Sebastian.
“I’ll take care of it, Baz,” she said, moving Linda out of his reach and turning to face her, putting her body between Linda and Sebastian.
“Listen, honey,” Kashena said, her tone reasoning, “we have to take you in. We don’t have a choice now, okay? And I have to cuff you or I’ll lose my job. You don’t want that, do you?”
Linda shook her head slowly, her eyes wide.
“I’ll cuff you, but I’ll sit in the back with you on the way to the station, so you won’t be scared, okay?”
Linda nodded.
“Kash, that’s not a good idea,” Sebastian cautioned from behind her.
Linda trembled at the sound of his voice. Kashena glanced over her shoulder at him.
“I’ll be fine.” She looked back at Linda. “You won’t try to hurt me, will you?”
Linda shook her head vehemently.
So, Kashena rode in the back of the patrol car with Linda in cuffs. By the time they got to the station, Linda was asleep, lying against Kashena’s shoulder.
“Real dangerous,” Kashena said to Sebastian with a grin.
They booked her, and Kashena carried her into the cell to dry out.
She thought nothing of the incident until a week later. Linda Rose showed up at her desk at the station and waited most of the night for her to come back from patrol. Kashena wouldn’t have even known about her being there, but the patrol sergeant called her on the radio to tell her about it.
“You’re not going to do anything…” Sebastian had said, his voice trailing off.
“Why not?” Kashena asked. “She was drunk, Baz, not high. How many times have I seen you drunk?”
Sebastian curled his lips in disapproval, but said nothing else.
Kashena collected Linda from her post at Kashena’s desk and ended up taking her home that night. Linda never left. She stayed with Kashena for six months. It was the most passionate, turbulent, exciting six months of Kashena’s life up until that point.
It came crashing down when Linda flirted with Sebastian, suggesting they do something to tame his inner beast. She’d been serious, and he told Kashena about it. Kashena questioned Linda about it, and Linda became incensed, saying that she was a “free spirit” and couldn’t be caged. She left the following day, disappearing for three months.
When she reappeared she was very definitely high and drunk. She also had a man with her. She drunkenly begged Kashena to let them stay with her. Kashena refused. They left, and Linda had come back by herself the next day. She begged Kashena to let her come back. Crying and telling Kashena how much she’d missed her, loved her, needed her. “I just want to be in your arms again. I feel so safe there, please, Kashie…”
Kashena asked about the man that had been with her. “He’s just a friend. We were really high, I just didn’t want him getting hurt without me. But I came back to this Godforsaken town for you, Kashie, because I need you, please?” she begged again.
She reached out, touching Kashena’s face, moving in to press close to her, and Kashena found, to her shock, her resolve was weakening. She’d missed the little fireball. So it had gone—they’d gotten back together. Much to Sebastian’s disgust.
Four months later, while on the job, Sebastian suggested that it was highly possible Linda had slept with the man she’d brought to Kashena’s house, and perhaps lots of others.
“And what was she on, Kash?” Sebastian asked. “Is she using needles? Do you really want to get AIDS from that scumbag?”
Kashena scowled at the scumbag comment, but she also knew Sebastian might be right. So Kashena talked to Linda and suggested that they both get tested. The next day, Linda disappeared again.
Sebastian suffered with Kashena as she got tested. He was terrified that Linda had left because she was HIV positive and couldn’t face Kashena with that information. It made him sick to think he could lose his best friend, but he resolved to stick with her through whatever came. Thankfully the test came back negative, but not before Kashena drank herself into a stupor for three days. If it was possible for Sebastian to hate Linda more, he managed it.
In the end, Linda showed up every so often with a truckload of excuses and apologies. Kashena realized early on that she was addicted to Linda. Sebastian neither understood it nor liked it. But he was always there when Linda left Kashena in ruins again. K
ashena did, however, put one important condition on sleeping with Linda again: she had to have a negative result on an HIV test every time. Sebastian had insisted on that, and Kashena had agreed with him.
***
Two weeks later, while they were in Sacramento, Midnight called Kana into her office. Kana walked in, surprised to see a woman sitting in the chair in front of Midnight’s desk.
“Kana,” Midnight said, standing and gesturing to the dark-haired woman, “this is Sierra Youngblood. Sierra is the new head of the criminal division. Sierra, this is Kana Sorbinno. She’s in charge of my security team throughout the state.”
Kana walked forward, extending her hand to the woman as she stood and turned to Kana. Sierra extended her hand as well, smiling warmly.
“It’s great to meet you,” Sierra said, her voice soft.
“You too,” Kana said, her eyes searching the other woman’s.
Kana sat down; Sierra did the same. Midnight also sat, her eyes on Kana, having noticed Kana’s look.
“K, Sierra is having a problem with a previous client,” Midnight began. “When she was with the District Attorney’s office, she prosecuted a case where the victim’s brother was a bit over the top with his interest in the prosecution’s investigation.”
“And in me,” Sierra said distastefully.
“Now he’s apparently calling her again, here,” Midnight said.
Kana looked at Sierra. “Has he threatened you?”
“He’s always suggesting that I just ‘give in,’” Sierra said, her eyes staring into Kana’s.
Kana lifted her chin slightly—she knew exactly what Sierra was saying. The gaydar was working just fine.
“When you refused?” Kana asked, knowing Sierra had, and why.
“He got really angry,” Sierra said. “The next night someone tried to break into my house.”
Kana’s eyes narrowed. “Did you file a report?”
“I called the police,” Sierra said. “They came, but he was gone by then. He may have heard me on the phone, I don’t know.”
“Did they lift any prints?” Kana asked Sierra.
“Yes,” Sierra said, “but he has no criminal record, so there was no way to know if it was him.”
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