by Aron Lewes
“This isn’t a bed and breakfast, Lyric. Don’t be an ass!”
“Well, it would have been the nice thing to do! Excuuuuse me for expecting a little too much out of people!”
Aurora stared at the blanket on the floor, wishing she could use it to muffle his mouth. “I had to sleep on the floor, and you don’t hear me complaining!”
“Well, you were raised in poverty. You’re used to the hardship!”
“I wasn’t raised in poverty!” Aurora gasped. “We were perfectly happy!”
“So you say, so you say. But you certainly weren’t raised like a princess!”
“And thank God I wasn’t, or I would’ve ended up spoiled and hateful like you and Rachelle!”
“Don’t speak badly about poor Rachelle! She got taken away by monsters, and she has you to thank for it!” Lyric crossed his arms over his chest. “And don’t yell at me! You’re starting to sound like whats-her-name’s step-mother!”
“Her NAME is Cydney!”
“You sound like Cydney‘s wicked step-mother!”
“And don’t compare me to Cydney’s step-mother! That women is awful! Do you really think I’m as bad as that?”
“No, I don’t. So let’s not argue!” Lyric laid a hand on Aurora’s shoulder, but she shook it off. “It seems like arguing is all we ever do! But we don’t hate each other, do we? I mean, I don’t hate you. But you might hate me, for all I know.”
“No! I don’t hate you!”
“Then we shouldn’t argue! Save your anger for that cheating fiancé of yours.”
Aurora grumbled to herself. For a man who didn’t want to argue, he was bringing up some pretty sore subjects. “Anyway, I didn’t start it. You’re the one who started complaining about the crick in your neck.”
“And what’s so wrong about complaining about a crick in my neck?” Lyric countered. “Fact of life: some people complain. Just because we’re not all superhuman like you...”
“Lyric, shhh!” Aurora put a finger over his lips to silence him, but she withdrew the finger as quickly as she could. Touching his lips seemed like an awfully intimate thing to do. She was surprised by how soft they were. Was a man supposed to have such soft lips? “I think someone’s coming up the stairs.”
“Well, let’s hope it’s whats-her-name.”
“Cydney!”
“Right. Cydney. Don’t get so huffy! I’m bad with names. It took me awhile to remember your name, didn’t it?”
Aurora rolled her eyes. How could she possibly forget the days of hearing herself referred to as “girl.”
A few minutes later, Cydney ascended the stairs to work on her ball gown, and Aurora was more than happy to help Cydney with her dress. They were stitching and hemming for at least an hour; Lyric wandered the room and peeked into boxes.
“I’m sorry he’s so nosy,” Aurora apologized on his behalf.
“Oh, it’s okay. No one’s touched that stuff in a really long time. Not since my father died.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Oh, it’s okay. It happened three years ago.” Cydney sighed as she rethreaded her needle. “But it’s still hard to think about. Death is always hard.”
“I can imagine. I’ve never lost anyone that I was really close to. I guess I’m lucky.”
“Yeah.”
“And I’ve never known my parents, so I’ll probably never know what it feels like to lose one.”
“Well, that’s sad too... not knowing your parents.”
“I guess so.”
Lyric opened up a small box in the corner of the room and unleashed an immense cloud of dust. His subsequent coughing spasm was so loud, they had to suspend their conversation.
Cydney shoved her needle into a pincushion and stepped away from the dress. “It isn’t even close to being finished, is it? I’ll never have it done before tomorrow!”
“Well, if we keep working on it...”
“I can’t.” Cyndey shook her head. “I can’t work on it as long as I’d like to. I still have chores to do. If I don’t finish them by a certain time, my step-mother gets angry.”
Aurora grumbled. “She should do those chores herself! That’s what I think!”
“Yeah... that’s what I think too. But I have to do what she tells me to do, or she’ll throw me out of the house.”
“Aren’t you living in a shack? She’s already thrown you out of the house!” Aurora hoped she didn’t sound rude, but she couldn’t hold her tongue where Cydney’s step-mother was concerned.
“Yeah, I guess you‘re right.” Cydney sighed. “But she’d throw me out of the shack too.”
“I wouldn’t put it past her.”
“Me neither. And I’d rather not be homeless.”
“There isn’t someone else you could live with? Like a kindly uncle, or a nice old grandma?”
“No.”
Lyric strutted over to the girls and stood beside them. “Well, I have a solution. If she throws you out of the house, you could always come work for me. You could be a maid in my palace. What would you say to that?”
“A maid in your... palace?”
“Yes, I’m an emperor. Or did you not know?”
Aurora spent the next ten minutes explaining their royal statuses to Cydney, who seemed to believe them, because she apologized at least a dozen times for having them stay in the attic. Aurora assured her it was no big deal, even though Lyric’s sour face seemed to counter her words. When Cyndey excused herself to do her chores, Aurora continued to work on the dress. It was the least she could do to repay her for giving them food and shelter.
Lyric hovered beside Aurora, indifferently observing her handiwork. “You’re not a bad seamstress.”
“Thanks. And you’re in love with Cydney.”
“What?”
“You are!”
“Am not!”
“Yes you are! You’re a complete jerk around me, but you don’t say a thing around her! You threaten to put me in a stockade, but you offer to give her a job! That’s kind of a contrast, wouldn’t you say?”
“Do I detect more jealousy creeping into that heart of yours?”
Aurora’s nose puckered at the thought. “What? No!”
“Ahhh, Aurora. You make me laugh. Always in denial of your lust...”
“Lust?! You make ME laugh!”
“Shhhhhh.” He touched a finger to her lips. “Hush. You don’t have to be ashamed of it. If I was a woman, I’d be in lust with me too.”
Aurora grabbed his wrist and tossed his hand away from her. “You wish I was lusting for you!”
“I don’t have to wish for something that’s already true.”
“Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!” Aurora would have stomped around the room in fury, but she remembered that they were supposed to be hiding in the attic. “I swear, if I have to spend ONE MORE day with you, I might go crazy!”
As if to tempt her, he unbuttoned the top button of his shirt. “Mm-hmm. Yeah. Crazy with lust, I know.”
Her hands were shaking with rage, so she ceased her sewing. She didn’t want to ruin Cydney’s dress. “Why in the world do you think I’d be lusting for you when we always argue?”
“There’s a fine line between love and hate. Or didn’t you know?”
“You know I don’t like you, Lyric! You’re trying to make me mad, and you’re trying to change the subject! You never explained why you’re so rude to me, but so nice to Cydney! It’s because you have a crush on her, yeah? Am I right?”
“Wrong!” Lyric protested. “First of all, I’m not rude in the least. If I was a little rude to you in the beginning, it’s because I ended up naked and stranded because of you, and that doesn’t make Lyric happy, you understand? And... do I need a reason to be nice to Cydney? Do I? Honestly?”
“At least you remembered her name this time,” Aurora said with a sigh. “Are there some earplugs in one of those boxes you were digging into?”
“No. But I found a very large women’s underwear, if you’re
interested.”
“Are you insinuating that I need large underwear?”
Lyric rolled his eyes. “Ohh, here we go again! Something else to argue about!”
“No... no.” Aurora picked up her needle again and started working. “I’m not going to argue with you anymore.”
Aurora continued to work on the dress through the rest of the night. Several hours later, Cydney brought up some dinner and kept insisting the dress wasn’t Aurora’s job to finish. Aurora, however, was determined to finish it before the end of the night. She even gave Lyric a quick lesson on how to sew, and he helped her sew some lace onto one of the cuffs. To her surprise, he was actually tackling the task with some success. He didn’t even complain about the lack of pillows when they went to bed that night.
The next morning, Cyndey woke to a pleasant surprise. When she climbed the stairs to the attic, she found Lyric and Aurora standing by the finished product.
“Oh, wow!” She ran up to it and traced a finger across the perfect stitching. “You actually... you didn’t have to... oh wow!” The tears in Cydney’s eyes were an expression of utmost gratitude. “It’s even better than I ever imagined!”
“I’m glad you like it. And Lyric helped, you know.”
Lyric tried to downplay his contribution. “Oh... well... I didn’t do much... it was just a little bit of this and that. You don’t have to thank me.”
“Thanks to BOTH of you!” Cydney exclaimed. With arms outstretched, she tried to seize them both in a hug. “I can’t even begin to tell you how much this means to me! I don’t know what I would’ve done if you hadn’t come along.”
“Now you can go to the ball, right?” Aurora exchanged satisfied glances with Lyric. “We’re going too.”
“We are?!” Lyric exclaimed.
“Of course we are!” She leaned closer to Lyric’s ear and whispered, “we have to meet with Charmaine, remember?”
“Oh, yes... yes, of course.” Lyric nodded along as he spoke. “Of course, there is a bit of a problem.”
“And what’s that?”
“Well,” Lyric went on, “all the ladies in the realm are invited, but I’m not a lady. And the last time I checked, I didn’t have an invite.”
“Well, that shouldn’t be a problem. You know how you were saying something about finding a large pair of women’s underwear?”
“Yeah... so?”
“In that same box, there was a large dress.” Aurora looked over at Cydney with a grin. “I’d say it was large enough to fit the broad, masculine shoulders of a manly man like you, Lyric.”
It took him a moment to understand her proposition, but when he did, Lyric leapt a foot into the air. “What? What? No way! There’s no way I’m going to do that!” Aurora went over to the box and pulled out the dress she was referring to, and Lyric’s eyes must have tripled in size. “Are you out of your mind? No way! I’m not wearing that! Never! No! Not in a million years!”
III
LYRIC‘S CAPITULATION was imminent. If wearing the dress was the only way he could get back home, he had to do it. He wore the dress, and he wore it with his head held high.
Until Aurora saw him and nearly suffocated from a fit giggles.
“I’m sorry... I’m sorry! I don’t mean to laugh!” Aurora was wiping away tears of laughter as she tried to regain her composure, but it was no use. As soon as she took another look at Lyric in the dress, she started cackling again.
“Ohhhh, go ahead and laugh!” Lyric snarled. “Laugh at me all you want!”
“I’m not laughing at YOU, Lyric. It’s just... the dress... on you... it’s too much!” Aurora reached up and straightened his curly red wig. “You don’t look too bad, actually. You make an attractive woman.”
“Thank you. It’s so comforting, of course, to hear you say that.” If the sarcasm in his voice wasn’t enough, he added, “I’m joking, of course. To hear you say I’m an attractive woman is devastating, to say the least.”
“Is it? It’s not so bad.”
“You never even said I was attractive as a man!”
“Quiet!” Aurora shouted at him all of a sudden. “I think something’s happening downstairs.”
“Really? I don’t hear anything.”
Aurora grabbed Lyric by the frilly sleeve of his dress and pulled him over to the door. She pressed her ear against it and tried to eavesdrop on the crisis that was unfolding on the floor below them.
“Absolutely not! No, you can’t go!”
“But all the women in the realm are invited! It’s not fair!”
“Don’t talk back to me, young lady! If you want to walk to the ball, that’s fine. But you’re not riding in any carriage of ours!”
“But the castle is nearly five miles off!”
“Too bad, so sad!”
“The castle is no place for the likes of you, Cydney!”
“Let’s see how the prince likes your dress after I’m done with it!”
The voices were followed by the sickening sounds of ripping fabric, a sob, and laughter.
Aurora turned to Lyric. “Oh no...”
Lyric was wincing. “It doesn’t sound like that went well.”
A few minutes later, Cydney ran up the stairs, her face flooded with tears. The sleeves of her dress were torn and her hair was a mess. She burrowed her head against Aurora’s shoulder and sobbed uncontrollably.
Aurora tried her best to console the inconsolable girl. “D-don’t cry. We might be able to salvage this.”
“N-no,” Cyndey answered with a sniffle. “No, it’s impossible! I know it is. It just wasn’t meant to be.”
“Oh, don’t say that! We can fix the dress, and then we can hoof it over to the castle. Lyric and I were going to walk, anyway. If you have some good walking shoes, five miles isn’t so bad!”
Cydney made a gesture toward the torn sleeves, which dangled irreparably from their threads. “There’s no way we can fix this!”
“Well... m-m-maybe we can.” Aurora tried to sound encouraging, but it really did seem like a monstrous task. Whomever ripped her dress made certain to do a thorough job. “S-sit down on that stool, okay? I’ll try to sew it up as fast as I can.”
“Okay.” Cydney’s shoulders were slumping as she shuffled toward the stool. Aurora stood beside her, needle and hand, and prepared to tackle the job.
“I won’t prick you, I promise.” Having said that, Aurora plunged her needle into the fabric and started to make repairs.
“I can’t believe this! I was so happy when I saw you finish the dress, and now...” Cydney still had tears rolling down her cheeks. “Oh, I can’t believe this is happening!”
“Just take a gander at Lady Lyric from time to time. That should cheer you up.”
Cydney did as she was told, and her tears momentarily turned to laughter.
“Well, at least I’m useful for something,” Lyric grumbled. While Aurora sewed, he decided to dig though a few more boxes.
After a few minutes or so, Aurora realized the repairs on the dress weren’t going so smoothly. “Is there... is there any other dress you could wear? Do you have anything else?”
“No... not really. All my other dresses look like something a maid would wear. They’re old and gray and—”
“What about your step-sisters? Do they have anything you could borrow?”
Cydney shook her head. “They’re not my size.”
“Well, maybe we could pin them...”
“They’re really not my size!” Cydney insisted, leaving no room to doubt their corpulence.
There was only one more solution she could think of. “Well, you could always wear my dress, I suppose. I know it’s a little bit low-cut, but—”
“Hey, what’s this?” Lyric dipped his hand into one of the boxes and pulled out an old urn. “This is an ugly old thing, huh?”
“Oh, NO WAY!” Aurora ran over to him and snatched the urn out of his hands. “This can’t be what I think it is!”
“What? What i
s it?” Cydney rose from the stool and went over to them. When she saw the urn in Aurora’s hands, she sighed. “Oh, that’s nothing. My step-mother bought that a few days ago from a crazy old lady.”
Aurora held it up to the light. “I can’t believe this. You don’t understand... I’ve SEEN this urn before.”
“Oh, you have?”
“Yeah, I remember the markings. And this rust is unforgettable. Cydney... hold out your hand.” When she did, Aurora pressed the urn against Cydney’s palm. “I’d explain what this is, but I think it would be better if you tried it yourself. Why don’t you give it a rub?”
Cydney, as well as Lyric, looked utterly confused. “Rub the urn?”
“Yeah. Pretend like you’re polishing it or something.”
“Okaaay.” Looking skeptical, Cydney followed Aurora’s advice. The reason behind the pretend polish was soon revealed. There was a loud POP, a cloud of smoke, and—
A familiar blue face. His hair was in curlers, and he didn’t look happy.
“WHO dares to take me up at this hour?” Helmer flailed his fists in the air like a madman, which was somewhat amusing, considering his diminutive size.
Lyric and Cydney were completely dumbstruck. It didn’t look like they would be capable of speech anytime soon, so Aurora spoke on their behalf. “Hi. Remember me?”
The blue man turned his beady eyes on Aurora. “What in the... but you only get one wish! I thought I explained that to you!” He shook his head with disbelief. “You broads are always so selfish...”
“But, wait! I wasn’t the one who woke you up! It was her!”
Cydney gasped. “I-I-I-I-I-I... I didn’t know what I was doing! She told me to do it!” she pointed at Aurora.
“Oh, well, in that case.” Helmer sat on the floor and crossed his stumpy legs. “I guess I owe you a wish then, don’t I?”
“Uhhh, Aurora?” Cydney’s voice squeaked. “What in the world is going on?”
“My thoughts exactly,” Lyric echoed.
“I think he’d do a better job of explaining it than I would.” Aurora looked down at Helmer and gave him an encouraging smile.
“Oh, yeah? You woke me up, and now you want me to explain things?” He rolled his eyes and grumbled something rude. “This is a magic lamp, yadda yadda yadda, and I’m supposed to grant your wish, Sweetheart.”