Yeah, everyone in my family was fucked up. I definitely didn’t come from the sanest of stock.
“Aiden,” I finally was able to take control of my tongue, feeling my skin starting to itch, especially where he touched me, where he held onto me, seemingly refusing to let go. Now that he had me… would he ever let me go again? “What… what are you doing here?” My voice came out sounding strange, weak. I didn’t sound like myself at all, not like the Lola Harding that had earned herself the name of the Night Slayer.
I sounded like a tiny, terrified little girl.
He chuckled, and the sound was like a knife drawing up my spine, delicately cutting into my skin just enough to prickle but not enough to scar. “Come on, don’t act like you don’t know.” He was so confident in everything he said, and all I could do was blink at him and wonder what the fuck he was talking about.
“I—”
I didn’t get the chance to say anything else, mostly because he started to drag me toward the hotel I’d just left. I let him. I didn’t fight him. Stupid, stupid. I was shell-shocked, frozen, unable to stand up for myself and tell my brother to go fuck off. If I was the me of late, I would’ve kicked him in the balls, taken off my heel, and stabbed him in the neck.
But that Lola was gone, replaced by a slightly dissociating girl.
This didn’t feel real. None of this felt real. Surely this had to be some twisted dream of mine, a nightmare that refused to end? Tonight wasn’t pulling any punches, not holding anything back, and I couldn’t help but wonder if I would ever see Maddox or Sylvester or Viper ever again.
I felt trapped. I felt like I was being led back into the viper’s den, and I would never be able to find my way out again. It’d been a miracle I’d escaped the first time, but to do it a second time? I didn’t have that kind of luck.
Everything was like a blur. Aiden led me back into the gaudy hotel, right to the elevator. Other people tried to get on with us, but he didn’t hold the door for them; he did the close door button, shutting it right in their faces, earning us some annoyed words from them. His hands had long since fallen off my arms, but he instead gripped one of my hands, his fingers tight on mine.
I wanted to shove him aside, wanted to yank my hand out of his and get an acid wash for it. It might burn off some skin, but hey, any skin that Aiden touched didn’t belong on my body anymore. If there was one thing I wanted to be free of, it was him.
So that just made tonight one hell of a sucky night, huh?
“Were you waiting for me?” Aiden spoke, eyes on me the whole time as we rode up to the top floor of the hotel. Only the best, fanciest room for a Harding, after all. Should’ve known a place like this would only hold misery for me. I never should’ve stepped foot in this hotel’s lobby. “Did you get my call?”
I could do nothing but stare at him… and imagine cutting his face off, peeling off the top layer of flesh bit by bit until he was as ugly on the surface as he was underneath.
“I’ve been trying to reach you for years, Lola,” he said, giving me a smile as he lifted my hand and placed a kiss upon my knuckles, like he was my long-lost prince or something. “I’ve been searching for you forever, it feels like.”
And yet here we were. Forever was not long enough.
The elevator doors slid open, and we walked out. He led me to his room; there weren’t many rooms on the top floor of the hotel, mostly because they were giant penthouse suites. With his free hand, he reached for the keycard in his pocket, and in the next moment, we were inside his room.
A huge, fancy place with multiple rooms and giant windows overlooking the city around us. We were higher than most of the neighboring buildings. It would’ve been a pretty sight, had I been here with literally anyone else. But I was with Aiden.
I was with my brother, the fucker. I still couldn’t believe it. My mind was having the damnedest time processing that particular bit of information. It felt like a computer that was trying to load a website, and it just kept refreshing over and over again, unable to fully get connected. Error, error.
He led me to a couch that faced a rather giant flat-screen television hanging on the wall near the windows. Aiden sat right next to me, his knee brushing up against mine, and I wanted to throw up. I wanted to scream. So many things, and yet I felt as if I could do none of them. I needed help.
No, what I needed was to get the fuck out of here.
“I’m so glad you finally reached out to me,” Aiden spoke slowly, using his other hand to caress the top of my leg as he leaned closer to me. It was an intimate position to take, not a way you were supposed to touch a sibling. But then… we never were the epitome of a healthy sibling relationship, were we?
And then, almost in slow-motion, his words hit me.
I reached out to him? Hell no. I would never in a million years reach out to Aiden Harding, because he was my one regret, the one thing I wished for years I could change. I knew I never should’ve left him alive, but I had been too much of a chicken to wait for him to come home. Now, he’d caught up to me, and I had the feeling he wouldn’t let me go. Not again, not this time.
Hell, I couldn’t even find my voice enough to tell him I wasn’t the one who contacted him, and I was too freaked out to be staring at his face again to wonder just who had brought him here.
“I’ve been so worried about you,” he went on. “Out there in the world, all alone—”
“I killed Mom and Dad.” Ah, yep. When I found my voice again, that’s what came rushing out of my mouth, like some kind of twisted confession. Ugh. how annoying. I almost sounded guilty, too—which was just ridiculous, because if anyone deserved to die, besides my brother, it was my not-so-lovely parents.
Aiden blinked, but then he nodded once. “I know. I found them. It took a lot of work, but the police stopped looking for you, after I made some donations.” Bribed. He meant he used Harding money to bribe them, which wasn’t too shocking. What was shocking, though, was how nonchalant he talked about me murdering our parents.
I’d expected him to be upset, to freak out… to do something more than just accept it.
“How…” I didn’t know what exactly I was asking, so I stopped myself.
“I went through the courts, emancipated myself. When you have money, nothing’s too hard. You know that.” Everything he said, it was so matter-of-fact, as if everything he’d done in the past had helped to lead him here, back to me.
Fate wasn’t done with me yet, I guess, because here we were, the Harding siblings reunited in a city so far from home.
“I never would’ve found you if you hadn’t contacted me,” he referenced something that never happened again, and again I kept quiet. He would never believe me if I told him I never wanted to see him again. He would simply laugh as if it was the world’s best joke, even though I would be deadly serious. “Why did you wait so long? I’ve been so worried about you.”
Worried for me, or worried that I would try to find someone who would believe me when I said my brother had been coming into my bed for years? It didn’t matter now, anyway. None of that mattered. The only thing that mattered was that he was here, and I would have to learn to face my demons.
My parents weren’t my demons. They were just practice runs for the real deal. Aiden Harding was the big bad here, and I felt too weak to stand up to him, my mind in such a fragile state after everything tonight… fuck. This was the worst timing ever.
I decided, through my brain fog, that lying to him might just be my best bet. With his one hand still gripping mine and his other still on my knee above my dress, I said, “I didn’t know how you’d react, after Mom and Dad.” Yes, that was a normal thing to worry about, wasn’t it? It wasn’t every day when you killed your parents.
“Lola, nothing you could ever do would push me away.” He sounded so sincere it was almost nauseating. Like, who the fuck said something like that when it was the murder of your parents in question? God, we were both pretty fucked up. “I’m so glad I found you.
I’m never letting you go again.”
Ah, now that sounded like something my brother would say, something that was spoken lovingly but was meant quite differently. Those words might be sweet coming from someone else, but from Aiden? From Aiden, hearing those words made me want to cut off my own ears so I’d never have to hear something like that again.
“Let me get us some drinks.” Aiden finally pulled himself away from me, and I felt violated, even though he’d only held my hand and touched my knee. Those things, I knew, were just a precursor of what he would do to me if I stayed here—which was exactly why I could not stay. I had to get out of here, and I had to do it fast.
But how could I leave here without risking him following me?
I should kill him, I thought absentmindedly as he disappeared around a corner to get drinks. I heard the sounds of glasses clinking together, and I glanced over my shoulder at the door. With my heels on, I’d make too much noise if I made a mad dash for it. He’d hear me, come out, and stop me. Killing him would rectify that… but right now, I just wanted to run. I needed to bolt. I needed time to think and gather myself, because as the minutes ticked on, I could feel myself starting to fade away.
My brother would be happy to lug around a shell of a person, a zombie. I’d just be a body, and after all, wasn’t that always what my dearest brother wanted? He loved me. I was so perfect. I was everything he needed and more… as if I was made for him. As if my parents had me first to get me ready for him and his amazing self. Hah, yeah, right.
Anyway, whatever I was thinking didn’t matter, because in a mere moment he was back, holding two glasses with some ice cubes and some tawny-colored liquid. Aiden handed me a glass, and I took it, though I made sure not to meet his eyes and definitely not to smile at him. Hell, I wasn’t even going to drink whatever this shit was. I wouldn’t put it past him to try to drug me to make sure I went home with him.
Home… my home was not with my brother. My home was this city. My home was with the Lucianos, a group of people who might not want to ever see me again, after what happened because of me. My home was with the men Bianca DeLuca wanted me to kill for her. The bitch.
If only I could get her and my brother in the same room, along with a bomb or something. Just destroy us all. I’d gladly die if it meant knowing neither of those fuckers would get to live another day. I was just spiteful and vindictive like that.
Aiden took a sip from his glass, leaning back on the couch beside me. His knees were apart, as if he was the biggest and baddest guy to ever walk this city’s streets. Oh, he had no idea. “So, what have you been up to while you were off on your own? How did you keep a roof over your head?”
I wasn’t stupid enough to believe my brother cared about the details of how I took care of myself all these years. No, if I had to bet, I’d say he was fishing for information, like if I’d become a prostitute or something. If a bunch of men had been at my body—in his eyes, his property. And if that was the case, he’d have a bit more business in town.
I couldn’t tell him the truth. I couldn’t say I’d been going home with predators from the bars and the clubs and killing them. I definitely couldn’t tell him that I’d killed the son of a mafia boss and was basically forced to do his family’s bidding, nor could I explain how I’d started to develop feelings for not one, not two, but three men I was currently sleeping with.
Yeah, I had the feeling that, if I told Aiden all of that, I would not be the only murderer in the family… though I honestly didn’t think he would be able to kill Maddox or Sylvester or Viper. The Lucianos, and the ones still loyal to them, were tough cookies. They didn’t crumble easily.
“Oh, you know, I did the odd job here and there,” I beat around the bush, not really saying anything. “I made it work.”
“Why wouldn’t you just come home? A place like this—” Aiden gestured to the windows, to the city outside. “—it’s no place for people like us. We belong in Lionsgrove, not here. Everything’s so dirty here.” At that, he took on an air of disgust, as if this city’s streets were some of the most filthy and disgusting things he’d ever had the displeasure to lay eyes on.
I realized I was insulted, as if he’d just degraded and belittled me and not the city, like this place was in my blood. Maybe it was, after everything. It was funny how quickly things had changed for me. Those damned Lucianos.
I loved them. I did. As much as a gal like me could love, I did. Never thought the heart in my chest would be good for anything, but I guess I was wrong. I used to think I was too broken, too shattered and crazy after my childhood to ever feel such strong, pure emotions, but again, I was wrong. Wrong about all of it. The shit I was wading through tonight was just so fucking deep I couldn’t tell if that was a good thing or not.
For a person like me, love would only lead to my downfall, and, like I’d said so many other times before, someone like me wasn’t made for happy endings.
“Well, none of that matters, now,” Aiden spoke. “Now that I’ve found you, we can go back home—”
“No.”
His blonde brows furrowed, and he looked at me as if he could not believe I’d dared to say the word. “What?” Aiden sounded so clueless, so shocked, so very unlike himself.
“I’m not going with you,” I said, sounding firmer. I’d rather cut off my own eyelids than go anywhere with you, but I kept that bit to myself, instead adding, “I have unfinished business here, Aiden. I can’t just leave.” It would be my excuse until I found the strength I used to have, until I was strong enough to march into this hotel room and give my brother what he deserved.
Death. A long, miserable, excruciatingly painful death.
He let out a skeptical chuckle. “What kind of business could you possibly have? That’s nonsense. We’re leaving tomorrow—” So pushy, so very much like our parents. He shouldn’t take any pages from their book, since they were dead. Not the best role models, you see.
I got up, still holding onto the glass. I feared I held onto it so tightly the thin glass was liable to break in my grip. Aiden watched me stand, amusement in his eyes. He thought I was still the girl I was years ago, but that girl was dead, and the one that had taken her place did not play nice with others.
And right now, she was feeling a little crazy.
“You can go whenever the fuck you want,” I said, speaking through bared teeth. “But I’m not going anywhere. I’m staying here. Why don’t you go find another girl to play with, brother?” Straightening my back, I turned on my heels and started toward the door.
I heard the sounds of my brother getting up, and I froze, spinning around and throwing the glass I held onto, right at him. It landed on his chest, the liquid inside it splashing up and out, coating his shirt as the glass slid down and shattered on the floor. My brother didn’t have the reflexes to try to catch it, the fucking idiot.
“I didn’t contact you,” I spoke, my voice shaking only a little. “So whoever you think got in touch with you, it wasn’t me. You’re the last fucking person in this whole fucking world I’d ever want to see.” My heart beat fast, too fast. So fast I couldn’t think straight. I didn’t even know if what I was saying made any sense. The room spun around me.
Tonight… tonight was just too much. Why was tonight the night that never ended?
Without saying another word, I rushed to the door, my heels clicking on the tile below. A marble floor, probably. Ugh. This place.
“Lola—” My brother’s voice didn’t stop me from opening the door, at least, not until he said what he said next: “I’m not leaving this city without you. When you come to your senses, I’ll be here.”
I paused, half in, half out of the room, and I threw my head back, glancing over my shoulder, meeting the stare of my brother, who honestly thought I would choose to go back home with him. But, it was like I’d said before. This city was my home, the people in it mine. I would never leave it, unless it was in a body bag or as a corpse floating down the river.
I w
ould die in this city, but that was alright. Where better to die than in the place of your own choosing? Not many people had a choice.
“Don’t,” I warned him. The word was laced with venom, and finally my brother got the hint. He stood there, staring, and he watched me go. The bastard didn’t come after me, which was good, because standing up to him like that… doing it while feeling so out of it, had taken a lot out of me.
I needed to recharge. I needed to refuel. What I needed was to be the Night Slayer, the smooth, beautiful killer of the night. I needed to get myself back, shake off the anxiety this night had given me, and give my brother what he deserved, what I should’ve done to him years ago.
As I rode the elevator down to the lobby, I grinned to myself.
I was going to kill him.
My hands were bloodied now, as I sat on that park bench in the early hours of dawn. If only it was my brother’s blood, and not two nameless people’s. If I would’ve been stronger, I could’ve killed him. I could’ve watched the life drain out of my brother’s eyes while knowing he got exactly what he deserved.
But I didn’t. I missed my chance. Fortunately for me, though, it sounded like Aiden refused to leave town unless it was with me, and he would wait for me to change my mind. I wouldn’t, of course; my brother would wait an eternity, and then he’d still wait.
However, I did have the feeling that my brother wouldn’t live to see eternity. He was my mistake, my one regret. He was the devil who haunted my dreams, whose face made me want to vomit and whose hands were too cold and possessive on me. I would end his fucking life, listen to him drown in his own blood. Maybe even cut off his dick, cook it up, and feed it to him.
That sounded like fun, didn’t it?
I let out a sigh as I turned my head up to the sky, watching the colors change. Time itself ceased to matter to me, and I waited. I waited for what felt like forever until a siren broke through the silence of the air. Slow to lower my head, I watched a cop get out of the car. All men in blue kind of looked the same to me, but I could’ve sworn it was the same cop that picked me up that day I was beating a guy on the sidewalk for talking to me wrong.
Violent Heart: A Dark Reverse Harem (A Death So Sweet Book 3) Page 3