by Sam Ryder
“Seriously?” Gehn said in astonishment.
“I mean it,” I insisted. “You each only have a few shots. Don’t just fire at anybody. There’s one guy left after these two. Aim for him and him only. He’ll likely come from behind, so be vigilant.”
“What about those two?” Hannah asked.
I yanked my knife from its holster on the side of my leg. “I can handle them.”
With the blade shining in the bright sunlight, I flashed a smile and charged at the two bastards who were now walking toward us, clearly trying to catch their breaths.
They stopped at the same time, raising their weapons and aiming them chest-high. They looked like they had some experience with guns, which wouldn’t help my cause. I was bringing a knife to a gunfight—never a smart thing to do. Which meant I needed to change it to a knife fight. I only hoped these thugs were as dumb as they looked.
“You bitches going to shoot me like a couple of pussies?” I asked.
“Dead is dead,” one of them said, not lowering his aim.
“Fair point,” I said. “But if you shoot me, those two women will scatter. You’ll have to chase them, get all sweaty and out of breath again. If you fight me, it will take longer and your buddy, who I’m guessing is circling around behind them right now, will have more time to corner them. Then you can have your fun with them. And trust me, they are very fun.” I waggled my eyebrows to give them the right idea.
“Or we could wait until he gets here and then shoot you,” the other guy said.
Shit. Maybe they weren’t as dumb as they looked.
“Suit yourself,” I said, “but I’m coming at you now.”
I didn’t give them time to think about it more, hoping their desire to use and abuse my two gorgeous companions would be enough to make my action decide for them. In other words, I charged right at the middle of them, aiming for the body-sized gap between them.
One took a step back, still gripping his gun and aiming it at my head now. Good, he was being stupid. Luckily, the other was being stupid two, stepping in front of his partner and blocking his shot so I could keep coming. He even lumbered toward me like a bowling ball, holstering his weapon and replacing it with a knife. I dodged left and slashed his knife arm with my own blade. He howled in pain as blood poured from the slash, bathing his hand in red and forcing him to drop his weapon.
Desperate, the bastard tried to kick me, but I was ready for it, swatting it away with my off hand before driving the point of my knife into his chest. Put a fork in him, I thought, withdrawing the knife and grabbing him around the throat, twisting him around just as the second guy—the slightly smarter one—fired on me. The human shield in front of me twitched, once, twice, thrice…taking the bullets that would’ve killed me. The body was heavier now because it was nothing more than a hunk of flesh and bone—a corpse. I knew the gunman wouldn’t waste his last three shots like he had the first three, so my shield was useless now. I shoved the corpse forward right into him.
I cut hard to the right, diving for the ground as two more shots rang out. Hitting a target isn’t that difficult, especially from close range, but a moving target is infinitely more difficult. He missed.
He had one shot left, unless I’d miscounted or he’d been the one who’d shot at us earlier.
I came out of my dive in a roll and turned in his direction, finding him fumbling his gun as he tried to reload. Nice.
I charged him, targeting the side of his knee with my boot, kicking as hard as I could to chop him down like a tree. I heard his bones crack, and his knee gave out from under him. His gun flew wildly as he lost his grip. Before he could hit the ground, I grabbed him by his hair and slashed my blade across his neck. He collapsed in a bloody heap. Another one down.
That’s when gunshots rang out behind me, and I turned quickly, a lance of fear stabbing through me.
I stopped dead.
Hannah and Gehn held their weapons like pros, though there was no one left to shoot at. The final guy, as expected, had tried to sneak in from behind. They’d ended him, his body resting in a pool of his own blood. The scene was carnage.
It felt like back when I’d been stationed in a warzone.
I jogged over to them. “Nice work,” I told them. They both greeted me with grim smiles, though Gehn’s had a hint of something animal, his lip raised in a half-snarl. It wasn’t the time or place to relive our victory, so I added, “Let’s go, leading them out of the city under the cover of darkness. We’d accomplished what we’d come here for, and now it was time to regroup.
Chapter 31
Idle
“Safety” is a relative term.
Were we “safe” out in the wilderness? Hardly. I knew that. In the middle of the wasteland, there were few places to hide. Still, compared to Rome, it felt like Disney World, except without all the creepy characters waving at you.
And yet, we needed to find a place to rest and recover. None of us were injured, but we were exhausted, both mentally and physically. Between hunting, building fires, and the lack of cover, there would be times when we’d be just as exposed as we were running through the streets of the city. Our only hope was that we wouldn’t be pursued right away, giving us a reprieve.
It’s not like we had many options these days. Given our “Wanted” status, we had to keep moving, keep running. We had only achieved part of our goal. Now we had to work our asses off to survive the elements and figure out our next move.
We jogged for a while in the dark, putting as much distance between us and the city limits as possible. After two or three miles, however, Hannah and I were out of breath while Gehn seemed fit to continue on forever, not even winded. I wondered whether it was something to do with her new, Ender body, but I didn’t ask. Still, we didn’t stop, walking briskly in silence. I glanced back several times. Seeing the city getting smaller behind us was reassuring.
“Okay, I think we can ease up,” I said after what must’ve been seven or eight miles. There was no cover out here, but the darkness provided us with some security.
“We do have to keep moving,” I said, “But at least now we can maintain a more reasonable pace.”
The women offered tired smiles. They knew. We shouldn’t have made it out of that city alive. Gehn in particular wore an expression of relief, though I suspected it was more because she’d been able to defend herself without giving into the animalistic fury she held in check.
That relief swiftly morphed into something more vulnerable as her shoulders began to shake. “I thought they would—I thought they were going to take me…”
I pulled her into a hug, letting her tears soak my shirt. “Not on my watch.”
Hannah watched our embrace, looking thankful but determined. “What’s the plan now?” she asked. “We’re out of the city and we can’t return the way we did this time. My status as a First means nothing at this point. I’ll be recognized immediately if we return. Elias would have spread the word to all members of the Guild and the Rising at this point. We are public enemies number one, two and three.”
“I agree. I think we should go to Paris,” I said.
Paris was the home of the Enders. Mutants who were fortunate enough to escape Rome alive congregated in Paris. The idea didn’t thrill me. Since that one Ender tried to drag me away and kill me, I assumed Paris wouldn’t be much warmer to us than anywhere else in the Ends, but maybe with Gehn on our side we could persuade some Enders or Ender sympathizers to join our cause. Hell, Lydia had pretty much confirmed that Gehn’s dream that showed us commanding an army would come true, even if the end was still in doubt.
“Really?” Gehn said, looking up at me with wet eyes. I could see the hope in them. Everywhere she’d gone since transforming she’d been an outcast. In Paris, she would be the normal one.
“Really,” I said, and Gehn hugged me harder. Behind her, Hannah smiled. She was on board too. “It’ll take a few days, though, and we’ll need to be vigilant. We move at night and find cover
during the day. We can’t all sleep at the same time. We’ll take turns keeping watch, and Chuck will hopefully alert us to danger. The going will be slower now that we’ve had to leave our wagon behind.”
I wasn’t looking forward to the next few days, which would be rugged, but I also wasn’t sure what we were heading into. Before some Ender attacked me, I had imagined the race would be fully on our side. Peace in the Ends? Fair treatment for everyone? Unifying the people? These were things I assumed Enders wanted. Maybe they did, but they just couldn’t trust anyone who didn’t look like them. Or perhaps the male Enders were just too far gone to be reasoned with. Either way, I was determined to explore our options.
And if Lydia’s interpretation of Gehn’s dreams was correct, it was my job to convince the Enders that invading Rome was the smart thing to do. That meant I needed to do more than just pull out my six-shooter and fire away. I had to learn to talk to Enders. And eventually, talk to those humans who might not be such big fans of the Rising, too.
I was no politician, but maybe that’s not what the people wanted. And at least out here, I didn’t have to worry about talking much. I could still let Alpha and Beta speak for me.
Silence followed us at the start of our journey, the night our only other companion. Our footsteps was the only sound, until Hannah broke the silence.
“Do you believe Gehn’s dream now?” she said. “I know you’ve been skeptical from the beginning.”
I believed that she believed it was true. Hell, all three women I’d been with the night before clearly believed it. And I did, too, to some degree, but I wasn’t certain of my role in it all. “I’m not the leader type,” I said. “I never wanted to be an officer in the military. My role was always a soldier.”
Hannah looked ready to say something, but Gehn spoke first. “Do you know how many lives I took before I met you?” she asked.
“I have no idea,” I said.
“Zero,” she replied. “I don’t kill. I never have.”
It wasn’t that she wasn’t capable of it that she hadn’t done it. It was because she was scared of being who she was. Not a murderer, because killing in self-defense was never murder. “I get what you’re saying, I think.”
“Good. Just because you haven’t been a leader before doesn’t mean you’re not one,” she said.
“And just because you hadn’t killed before didn’t mean you weren’t capable of it.”
“Exactly. I just thought it would somehow change me, turn me into the monster everyone believed me to be,” Gehn said. “I vowed to myself that I wouldn’t do that. On the other hand, from the moment we met, you killed people.”
I thought back to The Last Stop. It was true—I had no qualms with taking a life that deserved it.
“But you don’t kill indiscriminately,” she continued. “You take lives like you’d done it your whole life.” True story. “I assumed that traveling with you meant that you would protect us and kill to survive. That’s true. But back in the city, you put a weapon in my hands. You told me to kill. And I did.”
“You killed someone trying to kill you,” I said, unsure of where she was going with all of this.
She grabbed my arm. “You don’t understand. In the past, I would have let those men kill me. I couldn’t take any lives. I hid under this hat and stayed in the shadows because I never wanted to be in that position. I figured as soon as I was, I would be dead. I could never bring myself to kill. But you led me to kill.”
“Well, I’m sorry, I guess,” I said, misreading her tone. “I was just trying to help you survive.”
“No, you shouldn’t apologize,” she insisted. “You tell me you’re not a leader of men. But you united us back there more than you think. You brought us together to fight. Without ‘training’ or giving me a long speech, you empowered me to defend myself. Don’t you get it? Without even trying, you built us up to be a fighting force—and that’s just the three of us.”
“OK, I get it,” I said. “But this was different. It was just the three of us. I don’t want power or respect, or any of that shit.”
“That’s the best kind of leader,” Hannah interjected. This was becoming a sister gang up. “You brought us together and empowered us to fight without trying to ‘make’ us anything. You led by example and inspired us.”
“You needed no inspiration,” I said to her. Hannah was a firecracker, I recognized that from the start.
“Doesn’t matter,” she said. “I would defend us, sure. But Gehn always hung back. She was a follower. Yet you put a gun in her hands and forced her to face her greatest fears.”
It wasn’t something I intended to do. But I understood their point, even if I would fight it kicking and screaming.
“My dream has meaning, even if you don’t believe it,” Gehn said. “I can feel it. You were born to lead a rebellion.”
It was a funny thought, me leading an army. But they were making a hell of a case. Was I a born leader? Who knows. Maybe born leaders do it without thinking. I still wasn’t quite convinced, but the idea was beginning to take root in my man brain.
I guessed if I could get Gehn to pull the trigger and kill somebody, I could inspire others to do the same. Still, if we were wrong about that, our blood would be on the dirt before anybody else’s.
Chapter 32
Needs and opportunities
Sometimes, the darkness can be too quiet.
Chuck snored at my feet, occasionally sighing while his paws twitched. The sound of his sleeping relaxed me.
My head bobbed up and down. My eyelids grew heavy. Trying to stay awake in this situation felt like staying awake in my high school literature class.
But standing post that night, scanning the area for anybody who may be tracking us, I needed to stay alert.
The stakes were much higher than high school literature.
Stay awake, asshole. All it takes is one snooze and these women are dead.
I wasn’t too worried about myself. I knew how the Wanderer’s Guild operated. More importantly, I understood Elias.
If they ambushed us, they would kill me outright. I’d received a pass the last time because they wanted to follow me back to the women. Elias liked to use situations like these to “teach”. He would show everyone what happens when someone crosses him, threatens him the way I had.
He was a sick freak, which only made me more determined to be vigilant until I had the chance to cut off his head.
I sat on a rock overlooking the wasteland between us and Rome, which was now so distant I couldn’t make out more than the gleaming edge of a building or two. If anyone came from that direction, they’d get a mouth full of lead. I was a quick draw, but I wasn’t messing around. Instead of leaving her in the holster, I kept Alpha at my side, my finger on the trigger.
A footstep crunched in the dirt behind me.
I spun around, shoving the barrel directly in front of me. Chuck sprang awake, leaping to his feet and letting out a slight growl—angry but drowsy. Best guard dog I’d ever had.
“Who’s there?” I snarled, ready to blow the intruder away if I didn’t like their answer.
“Sorry!” the voice said. “It’s me.”
Realizing it was Gehn, I took a breath to calm my frazzled nerves. Of course it would be her. No one else could’ve come from that direction without waking both women anyway. I chuckled lightly at my own foolishness while Chuck wagged his tail and strutted up to her. She patted him on the head and sat next to me on the rock, her shoulder leaning against mine.
“Scared me half to death,” I said.
“I could say the same thing,” she replied. “At least you weren’t staring down the barrel of a gun.”
I smirked, then apologized for the mistake. “I’m going crazy out here. Why are you awake?” I asked. “You need your rest for tonight.”
She looked out over the wasteland and pursed her lips. “Couldn’t sleep,” she said.
“Have a bad feeling?”
“No, no
t that. I actually feel pretty good right now,” she said. “Not comfortable, but better than usual. I think we’ll be safe today.”
“So what’s on your mind?”
She inhaled sharply through her nostrils. “I’ve never taken lives before. Now I’ve taken two in the last few days.”
“Right,” I said. “Do you feel like you’ve done something wrong?”
“No,” she said. “That’s what’s bothering me. I thought I would feel…bad? Something like that. But I know I had to do it. If I didn’t do it, we might be dead right now.”
Might? We absolutely would be dead. The only reason we made it out of that city is because she pulled the trigger when she was supposed to. And in Geneva? Things had been even more touch and go.
“What’s bothering you, then?”
She paused for a moment while a breeze blew through. Goosebumps pricked my skin. Winter was coming to the desert.
“I know how it feels,” she said. “When they kill someone you care about? That grief doesn’t go away. I killed a bad man. But that bad man probably had a family. Somebody cared about him, right? How do you move past that? How do you push yourself to understand when killing somebody is the right thing to do, and then move on from it?”
I experienced war before the Blast, so what came after didn’t require as much evolution for me. Taking lives was part of my DNA. By that point, I had killed dozens—maybe even hundreds—of men who’d been trying just as hard to kill me.
It was part of the job.
“You don’t move on from it,” I said. “Taking a life isn’t something done lightly. You just do your best to not make mistakes and take the wrong one.”
“Have you ever regretted taking a life?”
Not a question I want to answer tonight.
“Yeah,” I said. “Anybody who fires off one of these things regularly has shot the wrong guy. It’s part of the job.”
“Do you worry that it will happen again?”
That was why I hung out at The Last Stop. There were never any innocent people there. If I shot somebody on that side of the Ends, they generally deserved it.