by N M Zoltack
“Yet you wish to know about your mother,” he said gently.
“I do. That is different. Tell me, was she as good and kind as they say?”
“Even better and kinder. She loved all those she met.”
“She sounds perfect.” Vivian sighed. No one would ever dare to say that she was perfect.
“No one is perfectly perfect,” the vicar said. “Slow down, my dear. My back cannot handle this swift pace.”
Vivian halted immediately. The vicar rubbed his back. She glanced around, spied a tree stump, and guided him over. He protested that if he sat there, he wouldn’t be able to stand again.
“I will help you,” she assured him.
“You have much of your mother in you,” he said. “More than you think.”
Vivian shook her head. “I don’t know,” she said honestly.
“We can never see ourselves as we truly are. It is both a blessing and a curse. We focus too much on our failures, on our regrets when it is our successes and accomplishments that mean the most of all.”
“I haven’t succeeded or accomplished much of anything.”
“Yet. You haven’t yet,” he corrected. “There is time yet for you. You are young.”
“Time is on my side,” she murmured. Another pang hit her chest, and she tried to rub the ache away. Why did she feel so nervous all of a sudden?
The vicar leaned back as much as he could and closed his eyes. Honestly, that day, he did not seem as disillusioned as most. Perhaps he could come out of doors more often.
“Tell me something that my mother did that was not perfect.” Vivian clapped her hands. “Oh, please,” she added when the vicar said nothing. “There has to be something that she did that wasn’t amazing.”
“One time, your mother, when she was about half your age, stole from some of the merchants at the market.”
“What did she steal?” Vivian was properly scandalized. Jewels? Silk? Perhaps a fine scarf even.
“Some fruits. She gave most to the other peasant children.”
Vivian huffed and crossed her arms. As she tapped her foot, she scolded, “That’s not perfect? How is that not perfect?”
“She also stole some chocolate, and that she kept only for herself.”
“Melted chocolate,” Vivian said. She rubbed her stomach. “I can’t wait until the weather turns colder so I can drink some again.”
The vicar narrowed his eyes. “You do realize that what your mother did was wrong, don’t you?”
“Yes,” Vivian said, “but she did give to the poor. She helped them.”
“The chocolate, though.”
The princess shrugged. “Basically, she gave herself a reward for her good deed.”
The vicar was not amused at all. He glowered at her. Unfortunately, he was just a little too old for the look to be intimidating or frightening.
“Do you know what I don’t understand?” Vivian asked and then continued on without pausing for him to guess. “I don’t understand how Noll does not like melted chocolate. Everyone else does. Truly, there is a lot about Noll that I don’t understand. He acts like a child at times. Most of the time, actually, and he’s older than me! By a year. He’s not that much older, but still. He doesn’t act like the other boys my age or his.”
Vicar Albert Leeson looked more disillusioned than Vivian could ever remember. He sighed and wearily ran a gnarled hand down his face.
“Noll was born as you and I were, perfect and normal.”
Vivian furrowed her brow but stilled her tongue for once. Did the vicar mean to suggest that Noll wasn’t normal?
“When Noll was a baby, a wet nurse was carrying him from one portion of the castle to the other. For whatever reason, she decided to cut through the courtyard. Noll, as I’m sure you’re aware, was born in our beloved wintertime.”
“The courtyard covers in ice every winter,” Vivian said slowly.
“Aye, and it was that winter too. The wet nurse slipped on the ice. Noll was dropped on his head. Ever since, he has not been quite as perfect and normal.”
“That’s terrible!” Vivian gasped, her hands flying to her mouth. “Whatever happened to the wet nurse?”
“She fell at the same time and cracked her head on one of the stone steps. She ended up dying.”
“Serves her right,” Vivian grumbled under her breath.
“What was that?” the vicar asked.
“Nothing,” Vivian said sweetly, but inwardly, she was furious. Noll acted like a child because of something that had been no fault of his own. He wasn’t right because of it. His entire life, he was treated differently for something that hadn’t been his fault.
In a way, this made Vivian love him all the more. She knew her father resented her because his beloved wife died when Vivian had been born. She knew better than to ever look her father in the eye. If he saw her blue orbs, he often went into a rage. Not that he was able to do much in his anger. Once, he had a servant fetch him a plate so he could throw and break it. The vicar wasn’t joking when he said that her father had become a shell of himself. He was a hollow man, and at times, he only ever filled up with anger and rage. Never love. Never compassion. Never hope or joy.
She ran a hand over her head. That day, she wasn’t wearing her small crown that designated her as princess. A puddle from the rainfall the previous night caught her eye, and she walked over to the water. Her reflection gazed back at her, the expression sorrowful and contemplative.
Vivian lowered her head and tried to imagine what she would look like if she wore the heavy crown of the Queen of Tenoch Proper.
“Can I ever be queen?” Vivian asked.
If the vicar was shocked or startled by her abrupt change in their conversation, he did not show it.
“No, my dear. After your father passes, your sister would become queen.”
“I know, but isn’t there any way that I can become queen?”
“Most likely not. Your sister is nearly of age that she should marry and start producing children so that they can be her heirs.”
Vivian pouted. She could not help but be disappointed. Of course, she knew that her sister was first in line, but Vivian hadn’t realized until then that she was basically not in line at all.
“Do not worry,” the vicar said.
He groaned and tried to stand. Vivian rushed over and assisted him in climbing to his feet.
“Do not worry,” he repeated as they meandered their way back to the castle. “Your time will come.”
For once, the vicar sounded hopeful, precise. It was as if he were trying to make a proclamation about the future.
But Vivian doubted his words very much. How could her time come when she would only ever be a princess? Why couldn’t there be more in store for her than that?
7
Prince Noll Rivera
It took Noll hours of begging and pleading before he succeeded in convincing his sisters that he should be able to go the marketplace. Neither one of them wished to go with him, which he didn’t understand. Ever since Noll spied Vivian go for a walk with the vicar two weeks ago, she had been avoiding Noll. This hurt him. The vicar would sometimes give Noll looks that Noll didn’t like. The looks were hard to describe, but they made Noll feel as if he was less than what he could have been. Or something like that. Noll wasn’t even sure. All he knew for certain was that he didn’t like those looks.
As for Rosalynne, she hardly ever made her way to the marketplace. Vivian would sometimes go to see the wares, although she never bought anything. She had her own seamstresses to make her dresses and gowns. Whatever she wished for, she would get. She didn’t need to handle the buying by herself.
Rosalynne didn’t even go there ever. Not once. At least not as far as Noll knew. She didn’t seem to like to leave the castle. That confused him even more. The castle was massive, and there were a great many places to hide. And the food! All of the food was amazing. All the desserts you could eat! But being outside and wandering around and
playing and running and jumping? Nothing beat that. Nothing.
That Rosalynne wouldn’t leave made Noll so frustrated. Maybe she just needed to play and run and jump for once. Maybe then her constant frown would go away.
Noll hardly ever frowned. Even when he was told no, he wouldn’t pout. He’d just figure out something else that he could want and go after that. For the most part, Noll was happy.
When both of his sisters refused to come along, Noll suggested that someone else take him along. They could hardly refuse that, and they hadn’t.
Which was why Noll was strolling along to the marketplace. The guard Tiberius Davis was so tall that Noll thought he might be part giant. Never mind that the vicar said that giants weren’t real. Noll knew they had been. Giants had ridden the dragons that had once ruled. Noll was sure of it. Or maybe not. Maybe the dragons killed the giants. The dragons were the rulers. Why would they let anyone climb onto them and treat them like a pet?
Speaking of pets, Noll had all but given up on having a dog. He still wanted one, yes, but he figured that if he behaved himself, maybe he could have a horse. He had tried to learn how to ride years ago. He hadn’t been that bad at it either.
Until they wanted him to jump.
Noll loved to jump… when he was the one doing the jumping. But to jump while on a horse? No. He couldn’t. He simply couldn’t. He was far too afraid, and the horse he had been riding had sensed it, and the horse couldn’t jump either.
So Noll gave up learning how to ride. Maybe he should try again. If the only way he could have a pet was to have a horse, and if the only way to have a horse was to jump, then he would jump. Or at least he would try to jump until maybe he jumped. Maybe.
Hopefully.
But that was a worry for another day.
Noll glanced up at Tiberius. “Are you happy?” he asked the guard.
Tiberius stared down at him and blinked, clearly confused. “I am doing my duty.”
“Does that make you happy?” Noll asked.
“It is my job.”
Noll grimaced. “That isn’t answering my question.”
“Forgive me, Prince.” Tiberius gave a hasty bow as they continued on their trek.
“Does doing your job make you happy?” Noll pressed.
“At times,” the guard said after a slight hesitation.
“But not now?”
The guard shrugged. His clothes were entirely made out of leather. Just looking at him made Noll want to itch. The guard carried a sword at his hip.
“Do you need that sword?” Noll asked.
“Most likely, no.”
“But you carry it on you just in case.”
“I do.”
Noll nodded. A sword would be better than a horse, but he had a feeling that there was no way his sisters would let him have one. Neither would his father. If Noll really wanted to have one, he would have to get one himself.
Even Noll realized that he needed to learn how to use one first. Somehow, he didn’t think that Tiberius would be willing to teach him. Still, he had to ask.
“Can I hold it?”
The guard shook his head. “I do not think that is a good idea.”
“What if I ordered you to let me?” Noll asked.
The guard hesitated. “I would rather you didn’t,” he said stiffly.
“I order you to give me your sword!” Noll shouted.
They had just crossed the drawbridge and hadn’t yet entered into the city outside of the castle. Only a few people were walking past them, either into or out of the castle grounds.
Tiberius gritted his teeth. “All guards have sworn to never give you a weapon,” he said stiffly.
“None? Not even an axe? A bow and arrow? A dagger?” Noll shook his head in denial. “Who told you that?”
“I gave the word myself.”
“To who?” Noll didn’t like shouting. Only when he was playing. Twice now, he was shouting at the guard.
“To the king.”
Noll’s shoulders slumped. If the king had given that order, there was no way it could be undone. Perhaps his sisters would be willing to give him a chance but not the king. Never.
Might as well try for a dog and a horse.
The two walked in silence for a stretch. The sunlight sparkled from the dew shimmering on the green grass. Only a few clouds dotted the sky. The sun shone so brightly that Noll had to blink in order to see.
The nearer they approached the marketplace, the more people they saw. Most were peasants. Noll couldn’t explain it, but sometimes, he felt more at home with the peasants than he did with the guards, servants, and even his family back at the castle. The peasants seemed to see him. Too many times, at the castle, Noll felt overlooked. He wasn’t the youngest of the king’s children. In fact, he was the only son. Shouldn’t everyone look at him favorably? But they didn’t.
That day, though, the people would look at him and then away. They were whispering to each other, and they would stop suddenly if he came too close. Whatever they were saying, they didn’t want him to overhear.
Of course, this made Noll want to hear all the more.
Some of the merchants tried to tempt Noll with fish or fruit, chocolate or tarts, shirts, trousers, silks, fabric, hats, scarves. So many things. Normally, Noll would examine everything, try on a few clothes. He didn’t have any money, of course. He couldn’t buy anything.
Once, though, a merchant had allowed him to take home a black hat with a feather on it. Vivian had been mortified and sent a guard to the marketplace immediately. Noll didn’t get to keep the hat. The guard sent it back. Maybe Vivian thought he didn’t look like a prince in it. Honestly, that was why Noll liked that hat so much. It made him feel like a pirate. Sometimes, Noll liked to pretend he was someone else. Not that he didn’t want to be a prince. He did enjoy being a prince. Most of the time anyways.
Even the merchants weren’t trying hard to sell their wares. What was going on?
Noll glanced at Tiberius and thought hard. What he needed was a distraction.
“Sorry,” Noll mouthed as he tripped the guard. He fell back into a stand of jewelry. A few necklaces broke and beads went everywhere. The table nearly collapsed, and in the commotion that followed, Noll slipped away.
The prince kept his head down and didn’t dare look at anyone. His clothes were fine, yes, but some nobles came to the marketplace. He hadn’t worn his crown, so maybe no one would recognize him.
The strong scent of fish from either the Arlingway River or River Zim made Noll’s mouth water. He loved all kinds of fish, but he didn’t like to eat fish when it was raw. That was far too slimy for him. He didn’t look away from the fish heads in disgust like some of the other small children running about in the marketplace, screaming and chasing each other. Noll was used to seeing the entire fish plated on the table.
Farther on, the fishy smell gave way to that of fresh bread and spices, cheese and other meats. Noll had eaten before leaving the castle, but all of the delicious smells were making him hungry.
It wasn’t until Noll turned down another aisle of the marketplace that Noll began to hear the people talk in hushed tones once more. This time, the people didn’t hush when he would near them.
“Can you believe it? The queen is pregnant. She cheated on the king.”
“She’s never done this kingdom any good. Look at this. It proves it. She’s only ever been worried about herself.”
“She’s not fit to be queen. That crown should be taken away from her.”
“Honestly, the queen… I don’t even want to call her the queen. That woman should be killed. Cheating on her man. And her man is the king!”
“The king deserves someone better. We’ve been at peace for as long as he’s been the king. Why would we dare do anything that would upset him?”
“She’s stupid. That’s why she did it.”
“Clearly the king can have children. He has three of them already. Why couldn’t she have been happy with what she
has?”
“Had. There’s no way the king will keep her. She’ll be thrown out like the trash that she is.”
The people began to laugh. Noll hadn’t been able to see how many women had been talking about the queen so poorly. Even when he glanced up and looked over, he couldn’t see. Not through the sheen of tears on his eyes. He didn’t always like the queen, but it upset him to hear them say such terrible things about her.
Noll rushed back to Tiberius. The guard had just finished helping the merchant readjust everything and was apologizing. A small red bead in the shape of a heart rested on the ground. The prince scooped it up and handed it to the merchant.
“I hope you found everything,” Noll said sincerely.
Some of the merchant’s frazzled expression faded away, and he smiled. “The prince has spoken to me. All is better.”
A few other peasants nearby chuckled, but Noll smiled back at the merchant. Sometimes, people would laugh at Noll, and he didn’t know why, but he thought that the merchant was being sincere.
“I’m glad all is better,” Noll said. “If you find anything is broken or needs to be replaced, let me know.”
The merchant gaped at him and then shook his head. “As far as I can tell, everything is here.”
“Good.” Noll turned to the guard. “Let’s go.”
“We’ve only just gotten here,” Tiberius grumbled.
“And now I’m ready to go back.” Noll shrugged. “Are you going to come with me or not?”
The guard sighed heavily, and Noll felt guilty.
“Is there something you want or need here?” Noll asked. “Do you want to get your wife anything?”
Tiberius’s sneer made the man look downright ugly. Noll knew that wasn’t a nice thought, but it was the truth.
“I don’t have a wife,” Tiberius said.
“You’ll have one soon,” Noll said seriously. “You’re twenty, right? Yes, you’ll get married soon.”
“I’m close enough to twenty,” the guard said, “but I don’t want a wife. Not yet.”
Noll frowned, confused. He waved to the merchant and started to head toward the exit of the marketplace. “Why not yet?”