by Mari Carr
“Gotta blame that one on Uncle Will,” Yvonne said. “His misplaced devotion to Pittsburgh, just because he was born there, has really skewed Lochlan’s perspective on sports.”
Miguel kicked back, resting his feet on the coffee table. “I’m from New York, but you don’t see me rooting for the fucking Yankees.”
Finn pointed to him as if he’d made a brilliant point. “That’s because you were raised right.”
“Hey, where are Sunnie and Landon? I thought they were coming over to watch the game with us,” Yvonne said.
“They’re probably shagging,” Miguel responded with an eye roll. “They’re always shagging.”
If anyone would know, it would be Miguel. He and Landon were partners with the Baltimore Police Department, and Yvonne got a sense that there was very little the two cops didn’t talk about while on patrol.
Finn laughed. “Jealous?”
“No,” Miguel said. “I mean, Sunnie is hot and all, but she’s not my type.”
“I meant of Sunnie,” Finn corrected.
Miguel snorted. “Landon is straight as an arrow.”
“And you’re straight as a rainbow,” Finn added with a good-natured laugh.
Miguel crooked a finger. “Come to the dark side, my friend. We have cake.”
Miguel was bi and forever flirting with Finn, and while Finn had never dated a guy, sometimes Yvonne wondered if her cousin wasn’t a little bit curious…and maybe intrigued by his friend’s offer.
Not that he ever did more than brush off Miguel’s flirtations as a joke.
“Nope,” Finn said. “Got myself a hot date this weekend.”
“You holding out on me, man? With who?” Miguel asked.
Finn shook his head. “Not telling you. Don’t want to jinx it. I really like this woman. Hoping it goes well.”
Miguel considered that in silence, a rarity for him, though Yvonne could tell he was dying to know who the woman was.
“By the way, where’s Darcy?” Yvonne asked.
“She’s babysitting,” Finn replied.
“Babysitting who?” she asked.
“My rugrats,” Leo responded from the top of the stairs.
Yvonne smiled when she saw him. “What are you doing here?”
“Taking you out,” he replied.
Yvonne tilted her head. “Out where?”
Miguel rolled his eyes and threw his hands up. “Jesus, Vonnie. There’s a good-looking guy standing at your door inviting you out. Go run a comb through that rat’s nest you call hair, swipe on some mascara and get moving. If you don’t take him up on the offer, I will. Hot country boy, sexy city cop—sounds like a match made in heaven.”
She stood slowly, flipping her hair over her shoulder. “My hair is not a rat’s nest. And I notice you didn’t tell me I had to put my bra back on.”
Leo laughed. “I’m okay with bra optional.”
Yvonne twisted in surprise. “Damn, Leo. Be careful. That sounded a hell of a lot like a joke.”
“Or flirting,” Miguel said, grinning at Leo.
Leo’s answer was succinct. “Either works.”
When she still didn’t move, he added, “I owe you a dinner after the other night.”
“That wasn’t a payback kind of thing. I like feeding you and the boys.”
Yvonne didn’t miss the curious way Miguel and Finn were looking at the two of them. She didn’t blame them for wondering. She was in the same boat. She’d spent a fair amount of time the last few nights, tossing and turning…and failing to take her own advice to Leo. While she’d told him he didn’t need to overthink wanting to kiss her, she’d been able to think of nothing else.
Leo didn’t say anything, just crooked one impatient eyebrow at her, drawing attention to his bright blue eyes.
She’d had a serious crush on Leo her freshman year, and while that feeling had ebbed and flowed over the years as she fell in and out of love with other guys, her attraction had elevated beyond crush to outright desire after that near-miss the other night. She’d really wanted that kiss.
Miguel was right. Leo was totally hot, his looks only improving with age. He’d gotten his dark brown hair cut at some point in this past week. She loved the way he wore it short in back, but left it a little longer on top. It gave a girl something to run her fingers through.
“Give me a minute,” she said, as she headed toward her bedroom. “Am I okay in these jeans?” she asked, though she knew she’d change anyway. Leo had taken some efforts with his appearance tonight. Typically, he wore faded, well-worn blue jeans and ratty T-shirts that had somehow managed to survive a thousand and three washes. Not that she expected him to wear anything different on a day-to-day basis. He was a farmer, constantly digging in the dirt. It would be silly for him to dress in anything nice, for goodness sake.
But tonight…he was almost dressed up, wearing crisp khakis and a short-sleeve navy-blue polo shirt that allowed her a peek of the ink on his upper arms.
“Jeans are fine,” he said. “I thought we’d hit Mo’s Seafood. You haven’t eaten, have you?”
She shook her head. “Nope. We were going to order pizza later, but I’ll never say no to a crab cake.”
She went back to her room, quickly changing—and putting her bra back on, though she certainly didn’t want to—then she freshened up her makeup and headed back to the living room, where Leo was hanging out on the couch, watching the baseball game with Finn and Miguel.
“I’m ready,” she said, glad to be escaping. The Orioles were already down three runs and Finn was losing his shit, not happy about going down in a bet against Lochlan, who really did take bragging to the next level when his team won.
Leo smiled at her. “You look great.”
“Thanks.”
The restaurant wasn’t too far from the pub and it was a lovely evening, so they decided to walk. She gave him a sideways glance when he reached for her hand.
“Hand holding?” she asked.
“You told me to not overthink it,” he murmured.
She snorted. “Yeah, but I’m thinking one of us should give this a passing thought or two.”
Leo used his grip on her hand to pull her even closer, opting instead to wrap his arm around her shoulders. “Fine. You think. I’ll act.”
“Dear God. That would be horrifying. How the hell would that work?”
Leo chuckled, then placed a quick kiss on the top of her head. “Will my very wise guru give up on me if I confess to struggling with that first secret?”
“Struggling how?”
He stopped walking, twisting her until they were facing each other. “I can’t stop thinking about you. It’s become a distraction.”
Yvonne didn’t respond one way or the other, trying to cling to the upper hand for at least thirty more seconds before confessing she was failing in taking her own advice as well. “A distraction.”
He nodded. “We’re friends, Vonnie. We have been forever. I’m not sure why this is suddenly…” He sighed. “An issue.”
She laughed. “So I’m a distraction and an issue. Take it easy with the sweet words, Leo. You’re sweeping me off my feet here.”
He snorted and started walking, but she noticed he didn’t hesitate to put his arm around her again. She liked the way he held her close.
“Fifteen years of friendship,” he murmured.
She tried not to grin at his confusion, even as her heart did flip-flops. She was distracting Leo…in a good way. “You have to remember you were in love with Denise the first four years.”
“Denise and I only dated two years.”
“Yes, but you didn’t really let go of her until she married Ryder.”
Leo nodded. “Okay. I’ll concede that one. And what about the eleven years since?”
“We’re going to blame that on life. I spent that year abroad, and then at least five of those years, I had a string of sort-of-serious boyfriends, and you dated that horrible Missy for the better part of a year.”
/> Leo laughed. “Missy was pretty horrible.”
“I choose to refer to her as your rebound. It’s either that or the year you stopped using your brain and started thinking with your dick.”
“Both are accurate.”
“And then,” she paused, always struggling to mention Denise’s death. “Then Denise was killed…and ever since then, you’ve been busy with Vince and the farm. You’ve spent the last three years completely rearranging your life to see that two little boys, who’ve lost so much, have everything they need to be happy. So…it’s just life, Leo.”
Leo tucked her even closer. “You’re right. In some ways, I feel like I’ve been absent in my own life for the past few years. Maybe even longer. I look back and can’t quite figure out what I’ve been for thirty-one years.”
“We’re both guilty of working too much. But while I have plenty of time left over to go out, have fun, and do things just for me, you spend that time with Vince, like you should.”
“You know, for someone who doesn’t overthink things, you always seem to have the right answers.”
Her eyes lit up. “Can you tell Finn and Colm that? Or maybe just write it down and sign it so I can pull it out the next time any of my cousins tell me I’m wrong about something?”
“I’m putting nothing in writing.”
“Asshole,” she joked. “And I’m not giving up on you just because you can’t manage the first piece of advice, because…” She sighed, debating whether or not she should confess. “I might have spent a little bit of time the last few nights thinking about you too.”
Leo threw a victorious fist in the air. “Yes! Caught you. So you’re one of those ‘do as I say, not as I do’ type of people.”
“Maybe I am.”
They arrived at Mo’s, so they curtailed the conversation until they were seated together at a table.
Once the waiter left to get their drinks, Leo picked it up again. “So why don’t we put the first advice on hold for now.”
“What about the second advice I gave you? How are you doing on becoming the truest version of yourself?”
He rubbed his jaw. “That one’s not going to happen overnight. Although, I feel like…”
“Yeah?” she prompted when he hesitated.
“I feel like tonight might be a start.”
Yvonne thought about that, then agreed. “Calling a sitter and taking a night for yourself is a very good beginning.” She didn’t add how thrilled she was that he’d chosen to spend that rare night off with her.
The waiter returned with their drinks.
“So let’s move on to the next advice. Hopefully, it’s an easier one. What is it?” Leo asked after they’d placed their orders.
“You need to learn how to take a chance on something even if you don’t know how it’s going to wind up.”
Leo took a drink of beer from his pint glass. “I don’t always know how things are going to end.”
“Leo,” Yvonne said, unable to believe he couldn’t see this about himself. “You are the king of careful planning. You schedule a time to create a schedule. You have every day plotted out down to the minute. I think that’s why you were losing your shit the other night. Ryder getting that promotion has jacked up your routine.”
“I’m a farmer, Vonnie. We live and die by routine.”
“I understand that, but sometimes it’s cool to just take a risk, to throw caution to the wind.”
“Is that what you did the year you were in Europe?”
She nodded. “Sort of. I mean, I had a list of the places I wanted to see, and I’d researched where the hostels were and figured out the cheapest means of transportation so I could stay longer. It was an incredible experience.”
“I’ve always admired the way you just grab the bull by the horns. When you want something, you go for it.”
Yvonne grinned. “Really? Because I don’t remember any of that admiration coming my way the night of my bon voyage party. I seem to recall you telling me I was a reckless idiot.”
Leo leaned back in his chair. “Well, you were that too. I was worried about you taking off on your own like that, heading to foreign countries with no more of a plan than to backpack all over creation and,” he finger-quoted the rest, “eat amazing food.”
Yvonne took a sip of her beer. “What can I say? I like to cook. Besides, I came back with an entire arsenal of incredible recipes and cooking techniques.”
Leo’s eyebrows furrowed. “I couldn’t believe your parents went along with it.”
“I was twenty-four years old. It wasn’t like they could forbid me. Though my dad did assure me he wasn’t Liam Neeson, and he did not have a particular set of skills if anything bad happened.”
Leo laughed.
“Besides, I met up with lots of family along the way. I did Paris with Uncle Sky and Aunt Teagan for a couple weeks after they wrapped up their European tour. Stayed with distant relatives in Ireland for a while, and then Mom flew over to take that six-week cooking class in Venice with me. It was an incredible experience.”
“It sounds like it.”
“You should have come with me.”
Leo closed his eyes. “You know I couldn’t do that. My family needed me. Vince needed me.”
“I know. I’m sorry you don’t have the same freedom to roam, to explore.”
“I don’t want that.”
Yvonne smiled. “I think maybe you do, but you’ll never admit it to yourself.”
“There’s no point in wanting something you can’t have, Vonnie.”
Yvonne glanced across the table and noticed the faraway look in Leo’s eyes. “Pretend.”
“What?” he asked.
“Pretend you could have anything your heart desired. If you were free to go anywhere, do anything, what would you choose?”
He didn’t answer, and for a moment, she thought maybe he wouldn’t say. She was just about to let him off the hook when he leaned forward and rested his elbows on the table.
“I don’t know what I want.”
She thought perhaps he was dodging the question, but one look at his sad, bewildered face told her he was telling the truth.
Leo had never given himself the chance to dream.
Not once.
“Maybe you should think about that.”
He grinned. “First you tell me not to overthink and now you’re telling me I should?”
She laughed. “Let me start over. First advice is, don’t overthink the small things. And then the next is…damn…I probably should have written all of this down.”
“What?” Leo asked, feigning surprise. “You’re flying by the seat of your pants here? I had no idea. Bet your dad had a list when he played this game with your mom.”
She stuck her tongue out. “Advice two is find yourself. Third is take a risk. And my new advice, based on this conversation, is to dream.”
He leaned back. “Dream,” he repeated. “Why does it feel like your advice is getting harder, not easier? No wonder I suck at achieving a happy, carefree Collins lifestyle. Not sure how you all manage it.”
She laughed. “Have you met my family? We’re all insane.”
Their dinner arrived, so they turned the conversation to easier things, talk of dreams and finding happiness fading away, as the comfortable, friendly camaraderie they’d shared since high school returned. He told her about Vince’s laziness and his fear that puberty was setting in, and she filled him in on her cousin Fergus’s new relationship with pop star Aubrey Summers.
“So now you have someone else famous in your family,” he mused.
“Crazy, isn’t it? We seem to be magnets for musicians.” In addition to her uncle Sky and aunt Teagan, and now Aubrey, her cousin Ailis was married to and touring with Pat’s Pub’s former singer, Hunter Maxwell, who’d landed a huge record deal after winning the February Stars competition.
Once they were finished eating, Leo asked if she wanted to take the long way home and walk along the waterfront.
Yvonne was in no hurry to say good night to him, so she slipped her hand in his and they meandered along the wide sidewalks, watching the streetlights twinkle on the dark surface of the water. It was a beautiful, breezy, cool evening, a rarity for early August, which was usually humid as hell. Summer typically brought in more tourists, so the streets were a little busier than they were in the winter.
“If I remember right, you have a birthday coming up soon.”
Yvonne grinned. “Yep. I’m about to be dirty thirty.”
He laughed. “Not dreading it?”
She shook her head. “Nope. Age is just a number. And since I refuse to grow up, it’s not going to affect my life in any way.”
Leo chuckled. “Never growing up, huh? That sounds about right. Got plans to celebrate?”
She looked at him like he was nuts. “Have you ever known the Collins family to pass up an opportunity to party?”
“Good point.”
“So, you wanna be my date for it?”
“Depends.”
“On what?” Yvonne asked.
“On how your cousins, uncles and Dad might feel about that. I’ve seen their scare tactics whenever a guy comes sniffing around you Collins women. While that’s entertaining to watch, I’m not sure it would be quite as funny from the hot seat.”
“Are you sniffing around?”
Leo didn’t reply, and for a second, Yvonne feared she’d misread what was happening between them. So she reached for humor, hoping to pull them out of the awkward moment.
“Well, if you’re going to be a chicken shi—”
Leo grasped her upper arms, pulling her toward him in one smooth motion, and then…he kissed her.
Holy shit.
Leo could kiss.
Her lips softened against his, then they parted, and her tongue met his halfway. The kiss lingered, a gentle fusing of lips.
Then he pulled back to look at her.
“Okay,” she said, a teasing lilt in her voice, struggling to find some way of grounding herself. “That was weird.”
He shook his head. “No. That’s the problem. It wasn’t weird at all.”
He kissed her again.
This one lasted longer and grew more heated when she placed her hands on his shoulders, her fingertips grazing the back of his neck. He lifted his hands to her hips, let his fingers slide beneath her top until he found skin. He stroked it, and she found herself wishing he would slide those hands higher, to her breasts. No, scratch that. She wanted them to travel lower, to cup her ass and pull her against him, let her rub against his cock.