There was something else worrying her too. Ever since coming home she had intended to go and see Mrs Merry, the housekeeper she had been so fond of when she had worked for Connie. Of course, she had no way of knowing if Mrs Merry still even lived there. She could have left, or the house might even have been sold. But now at last she felt brave enough to find out, so on her very next day off she dressed carefully and set off in the direction of her late employer’s house.
Once outside she stood there gazing at the façade as the memories flooded back. She could picture Connie standing on the steps laughing and happy, and then another image came to her mind: an image of Connie tripping down the frozen steps in her beautiful new gown on the night her father had died. The night, if they had only known it, that would change both their lives forever. She looked up at the bedroom window then and could almost imagine she saw Connie flitting about the room. They had shared so many happy times together there before that terrible night, but they were both gone forever now.
On the outside the house looked just the same but whether it now had new owners or not she had no idea. There was only one way to find out, so after taking a deep breath she climbed the steps and rapped on the door.
From within she heard footsteps approaching and when the door opened she saw Mrs Merry standing there. The woman stared at her for a moment as if she couldn’t believe what her eyes were seeing, then with a whoop of delight she caught her in a hug that almost lifted her off her feet.
‘Oh, Flora, I can’t believe you’re really here,’ she cried happily. ‘I thought you were an apparition for a second there. But come in, come in, the mistress will be so happy to see you.’
‘The mistress?’
When Flora looked confused the smile slid from Mrs Merry’s face. ‘There’s been a lot of changes around here,’ she told Flora solemnly. ‘But it ain’t for me to tell you about them. Let me go an’ tell the mistress you’re here. I know she’s been frettin’ about you ever since she arrived.’
The kindly woman hurried away in the direction of the drawing room leaving Flora feeling more confused by the minute. How could there be a new mistress here? Connie’s father had left the house in trust for her when she reached her coming of age but Connie was gone now, so who else could possibly have a claim on the house?
She could hear Mrs Merry excitedly jabbering away and then someone appeared in the doorway of the drawing room and Flora’s heart skipped a beat.
‘Flora, my dear. Thank goodness you’re all right!’
Connie’s Aunt Alex was hurrying towards her with her arms outstretched, but she looked nothing like the downtrodden, dowdily dressed woman that Flora remembered from New York. This woman was dressed in a pretty, flowered dress that just grazed her ankles and she now wore her lovely blonde hair in a style similar to Flora’s, only slightly longer.
Seeing how confused her visitor looked, Alex smiled warmly and taking her hand she told her, ‘Come with me. A lot has happened since I last saw you. We have so much catching up to do. Oh, and Merry, would you be a dear and make us some tea? You can join us then if you like.’
It was more than obvious that Alex and Mrs Merry were getting on famously and Flora was growing more confused by the minute. As they entered the drawing room she saw at a glance that it looked much as she remembered, although some of the furniture had been shifted about slightly. There was a large bowl of lilies in the middle of the table and their scent wafted about the room.
Alex noticed Flora looking at them and she giggled like a schoolgirl. ‘They’re lovely, aren’t they? They were a present from Victor, or Mr Wainthrop as you probably know him. He’s such a darling.’
Now Flora’s eyes were almost popping out of her head as Alex ushered her towards a chair, before sitting down opposite her.
‘I … I think I owe you an apology,’ Flora mumbled, feeling decidedly ill at ease. Never in her wildest dream had she ever expected to see Alex again, let alone here. ‘For running away as I did and for pretending to be Connie in the first place … it was unforgivable of me.’
Alex stared at her thoughtfully for a moment as if she were deciding whether or not to say whatever was on her mind, but then taking a deep breath she said quietly, ‘You don’t need to apologise. You see, from almost the moment you arrived at the house in New York I knew that you weren’t Constance.’
‘You did!’ Flora was truly shocked now. ‘B-but how?’
Alex frowned as her small white teeth played with her bottom lip but then raising her head she looked Flora in the eye and gently lowered the sleeve of her dress to reveal a tiny heart-shaped birthmark on the top of her arm. ‘Because of this. As her maid you surely must have known that Connie had one in exactly the same place?’
Flora had forgotten all about it but now she nodded. ‘Yes, yes she did … but how could you possibly know that? You hardly ever saw her.’
‘She was born with it,’ Alex told her and then after taking a deep breath she went on, ‘And I should know … because I was her mother.’
Flora gawped at her uncomprehendingly. This was all getting a little too much to take in.
Alex sighed and standing up she began to pace up and down the room. ‘I know it must all sound very far-fetched.’ She was clearly distressed and her voice was little more than a whisper. ‘But the truth of it is, Edward, Connie’s father, and I fell in love and had an affair. I had already realised that marrying Marcus had been the biggest mistake of my life and Edward was unhappy with Alicia too, so somehow it just happened. We never meant it to and we ended it very quickly because we couldn’t bear to think of the pain it would cause to our partners, even though we loved each other deeply. But then I found out that I was pregnant and it all came out. Marcus knew that the child couldn’t be his and it didn’t take long for him and Alicia to put two and two together.
‘Edward wanted me to leave Marcus and live with him so that we could marry after we had both got divorced, but Alicia was my sister and I just couldn’t do it to her.’ Alex paused to dab at her eyes with a scrap of a lace handkerchief as the painful memories flooded back. Then, taking a deep breath, she went on, ‘It was decided that once the baby was born Edward would come to New York and bring the child back here to live and he and Alicia would adopt it. And that was exactly what happened. I felt as if my heart had been ripped out of my chest on the day Edward took her, and Alicia … well, she never took to the child, although her father adored her. I suppose it’s understandable, really. I had betrayed her in the worst possible way with her husband and poor Connie must have been a constant reminder of what we’d done. Anyway, when you arrived after the tragedy on the Titanic I sensed almost immediately that you weren’t my daughter. You were very ill, as you may remember, and it was as I was helping Patsy change you into a clean nightgown shortly after you arrived that I noticed you had no birthmark and my fears were confirmed.’
‘B-but why didn’t you say something then?’
Alex shrugged. ‘What would have been the point? Marcus was such a cold person. He hadn’t wanted me to have Connie there in the first place and I have no doubt had he known that you were merely her maid he would have turfed you out on the streets without a second thought. That’s the kind of man he was. I was devastated when I learned that Edward had died but I saw it as a chance to finally get to know my daughter and try to make it up to her for abandoning her. And then when I realised that she was dead, I suppose having a young person around that I could get on with helped with my grief, so I said nothing. I had to grieve for Connie in private, you see, and it was doubly hard knowing that I had missed my chance yet again of being able to show her how much I loved her. I suppose I saw you as a chance to make it up the only way I could.’
Mrs Merry came back into the room at that moment trundling a tea trolley and seeing Alex’s tearful face she said, ‘You’ve told her then – about Connie bein’ your daughter?’
Alex nodded. ‘Yes, I’ve told her.’ She looked back at Flora. ‘And now
I suppose you’re wondering what I’m doing here?’
‘I … I am rather,’ Flora answered unsteadily. She was still all of a dither.
‘Shortly after you left, Toby started to be a frequent visitor to the house. He was very angry when I told him that you had left, but he quickly turned his attentions to Margaret. Of course, I’ve no doubt she knew that he was only after her fortune but Margaret wanted a husband at any cost so they got married and he moved in with us. Not long after that Marcus had a massive heart attack and died. On the day of the funeral when the solicitor came to the house to read the will I discovered that Marcus had left the house in New York and everything he owned to Margaret. I can’t say that I really blame him. After all, I did him a grave injustice all those years ago. Anyway, Mr Wainthrop got in touch to tell me that in Edward’s will he had stated that should anything happen to Constance, then this house would pass to me … So, here I am and I’ve never been happier in my life.’
‘Neither has Victor Wainthrop,’ Mrs Merry told Flora with a cheeky wink. ‘He’s round here most days wi’ a twinkle in his eye. I ain’t never seen him so happy since his dear wife passed away.’
‘Merry, really!’ Alex objected, blushing prettily. But then, turning her attention back to Flora, she said, ‘There, I’ve bared my soul to you so now I want to hear all about what you’ve been up to since you ran away from us in New York.’
And so, for the next half an hour Flora told them everything. About working in the laundry, meeting Jia Li and Colleen, renting the café and buying the house until she had brought them right up to date.
‘And did you manage to meet a nice young man in New York like your friends did?’
‘Oh no. I’ve had no time for all that. Anyway …’ She shook her head.
‘Anyway?’ Alex said curiously.
‘Oh, well …’ Flora paused, wondering whether to say anything. But then after everything Alex had told her, she felt that maybe she’d understand. ‘Before I left for New York I was walking out with someone, Jamie, but I hurt him badly when I said I wanted to go to New York with Connie, and he disappeared. I tried to see him again, but he’d left, and as he never bothered coming to see me again or try to stop me before we left, I can only suppose he decided he’d be better off without me. But I’ve never managed to forget him.’ She smiled sadly.
At this, Mrs Merry lowered her head looking utterly ashamed. ‘Actually …’ she muttered. ‘That’s not quite true … See, shortly before you left to get the boat he came here sayin’ he needed to see you an’ I … Well, I was afraid you’d change your mind and wind up letting Connie go alone … so I … I told him you’d already gone. I kept some letters he sent here for you as well. I’m so sorry, pet. If I could go back in time I wouldn’t do it again, I swear.’
Flora stared at her numbly as the room began to swim around her. So Jamie had come looking for her … and all this time she had thought that he hadn’t cared enough to try and persuade her to change her mind about going to New York. Perhaps he had really loved her after all?
‘Can you ever forgive me?’ Mrs Merry asked then, her voice heavy with regret and tears.
Flora was so choked that she couldn’t even answer her as she thought of all the heartache that could have been avoided.
‘I … I’ll make it up to … I swear I will!’ Mrs Merry babbled as she wrung her hands together. ‘We’ll try and find him … I could help you. I just couldn’t bear the thought of Connie goin’ all that way on her own so soon after losing her dad. Please try an’ understand. I loved that girl like my own but I loved you too and it’s been hard to live with meself knowing what I did!’
Flora looked at her in disbelief. For a moment she didn’t know what to say, but then a rage grew within her. How could Mrs Merry expect her to forgive her? She’d ruined her chance at love, and for what? She hadn’t been able to save Connie from death and she’d almost died herself. It was all too overwhelming. ‘But … But how could you? How often did he come here? Where are the letters? Oh, poor Jamie. He must hate me even more than I thought if he thinks I couldn’t even be bothered to reply to his letters. And all this time …’
Mrs Merry got up and rushed over to her and, kneeling on the floor in front of her, she grasped Flora’s hands. ‘I’m a foolish and stupid old woman. All I could think of was Connie on her own on that big ship.’
Flora snatched her hands away, as if she couldn’t bear the woman’s touch. ‘Did you never think of me? Of Jamie? Of the lives you’ve ruined?’
‘I don’t know what to say.’ Mrs Merry was crying now too. ‘Just let me make it up to you. I’ll do anythin’.’
‘There’s nothing you can do that will make up for this. All this time … All this time when we could have been happy and you snatched it away from us.’ She started to sob now, unable to bear the thought of poor Jamie and his shattered heart.
Alex intervened then. ‘It seems to me that we’ve all three done something to be ashamed of in our pasts, don’t you think, Flora? But perhaps it’s time to put it all behind us and move on now,’ she said gently.
Flora looked at her. The soft, kind expression on Alex’s face moved her more than Mrs Merry’s pleas. Alex had suffered so much, and yet she had managed to forgive her for impersonating her long-lost daughter. Which seemed, when she thought of it, a much greater crime. She had pretended to be Connie because of her own fear and selfishness, whereas Mrs Merry had acted only out of love. Her shoulders sagged, and she nodded in agreement.
They had all done things they deeply regretted but maybe now they could each start to forgive themselves.
Chapter Forty-Six
It was early in August before Flora was able to book any time off work and by then it seemed from the reports in the newspapers that war was inevitable. Recruiting offices were opening up all across the country and young men were flocking to them to join up so that they could go and fight for their king and country. But war was the last thing on Flora’s mind as she prepared to catch the train at Euston Station one overcast morning.
She had spent weeks visiting places she and Jamie had frequented and houses where he had lodged in the hope of finding him but up until now all her enquiries had drawn a blank and there was only one option left open to her. Mrs Merry had given her the letters that Jamie had sent and Flora knew each word off by heart now and was heartened by the fact that he had loved her. Whether things were still the same now was another matter entirely. A lot of time had passed but she had decided that there was only one way to find out.
‘I’m not so sure you shouldn’t have written to him first before you go rushing off like a bull in a china shop,’ Emily complained as Flora slid a hat pin into the new hat she had treated herself to. ‘And what if you can’t find anywhere to stay, or if perhaps you can’t find him?’
Flora smiled at her. ‘I’ll find him, never you fear,’ she said with more conviction than she was feeling. ‘I know he said his foster parents who brought him up lived in a place called Treetops in a village called Hartshill just outside Nuneaton. It’s only a small market town, it won’t be anywhere near the size of London, so how hard can it be? Someone is sure to know where it is and once I’ve found it, his parents will hopefully be able to tell me where he is. As for finding somewhere to stay – I shall just come straight back home if I can’t find him, so stop fretting. I’m a grown woman now you know, Ma?’
‘Of course you are,’ Emily placated her. ‘But us mas can’t just stop worryin’ about their kids no matter what age they are, so just think on that, my girl.’
Flora crossed the room to give her a hug and a kiss. ‘I shall be all right, I promise,’ she assured her.
‘And what if you’re goin’ all that way on a fool’s errand? What if Jamie’s found himself someone else or moved away?’
‘I’ll cross that bridge when I come to it,’ Flora answered, jutting out her chin, and Emily sighed. She knew that look. Flora had made her mind up she was going and nothing would sway
her from it now. She handed her daughter a pack of cheese sandwiches, saying, ‘These are for on the train. And just make sure you get a proper meal inside you when you get there. Now go if you’re going else you’ll miss the train and there ain’t another till this afternoon … And, Flora, good luck, love.’
After giving her mother another affectionate kiss, Flora set off and an hour later she was seated in a carriage in the train bound for Nuneaton. She settled herself in a corner and now that she was alone all the misgivings she had been trying to keep at bay flooded back. What if Jamie had found himself another girl … or if he didn’t live there anymore? But then she scolded herself, Stop it, you’ll never know if you don’t at least make the effort to find out, will you?
At that moment the engine gave a hiss of steam and the train chugged into life and once they were well under way Flora took the latest letters she had received from Jia Li and Colleen from her bag. They still wrote to each other regularly and Flora was always thrilled to hear how happy they sounded. The first was from Jai Li.
Dear Flora,
The café is doing so well, and we hope to be able to save enough to pay Dora for it by Christmas, then we start to send you money we owe for the house. You have made us very happy.
We very settled in our little house too. Hattie and Hilda send their love, they miss you very much as we all do and they spoil new baby Flora very much. She is lovely baby with always a smile like her namesake and we hope to have brother or sister for her in not too distant future. Tilly and Ernie are now married and settling into Hattie’s old house well and Sam and Jimmy also send much love dear friend …
All in all Flora was thrilled that everyone in New York appeared to be thriving. And she knew that the same was true of Colleen and Ben. She opened Colleen’s letter.
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