His father said, “We do, and I won’t pretend I understand. We can talk about that later, though. Our boy was nearly killed, but he was spared. That’s enough to focus on for now.”
His mother spoke up too. “Come home if you need to get away or hide from the press.”
“I will,” he said as one of his oldest fears began to fade. They still loved him. Maybe his parents would never fully understand him, but they wouldn’t throw him away. He still had a home.
Chapter 31
Six weeks later….
THOMAS SLID into his once-usual seat at Mata Hari, and Randy gave him a quick nod from the other end of the bar—as though he’d never been away. Of course they talked or met often, but Thomas hadn’t felt able to return to the place where Charles launched so much misery and pain. But six weeks after Charles was stopped, he was finally ready to get his life moving again.
He didn’t spot Joe when he walked in, but suddenly the little man was at his side and reached out to hug him.
“Thomas, my darling. I’ve missed you,” Joe exclaimed. “Are you holding up all right, dear heart?”
“I am, Joe. Thanks. I went back to work a few weeks ago. I think I’m going to be okay.”
“Oh, I’m glad. To find that a monster was so close and hurt so many people… Well, I admit my faith has been shaken. But the Lord protects. I truly believe that. He put you and Randall in a position to save Zachary.”
“I wish I shared your faith, Joe. I kept wondering if I could have done anything different. Would those other men be alive if I’d, I don’t know….”
“Exactly,” Joe said. “You don’t know because there is nothing you could have done. Evil comes into our lives for many reasons and in many different ways, but it’s madness to imagine we have control or that we can single-handedly stop it. All we can do is face it and fight, and you did that. I was so proud of you and Randall when I heard the story.”
Randy joined them and slid a drink toward Thomas. “I’m with the recovering monk here. The Seattle police, the Secret Service, we were all fooled. But once we knew what to look for, we got it solved. If all of us, with all our resources, got tricked, I don’t see why you blame yourself for falling for it too.”
“Thanks, guys. I hear you. Hey, Joe, Randy told me that you and Terry patched things up. Is that right?” Thomas asked.
Joe nodded, and cautious optimism showed on his face. “Frankly it’s also because of Charles Rumson. When Randall brought Zachary to my apartment, Terry rushed over to see him. The thought of how easily that sweet young man could have been killed brought the two of us close in a way that we’d been struggling with for a while. We went back to couples’ counseling, and we’re working it through.”
Randy rapped twice on the bar and said, “I’m glad something positive came from that prick. The place wasn’t the same without you and Terry rounding up strangers and making them feel at home.”
Malcolm passed behind Randy with a container of empties just then, and he said, “Hey, look. It’s about that guy.” He nodded toward the television mounted on the wall, which showed a news anchor’s face and stylized text about Rumson the “gay stalker.”
Randy grabbed the remote to turn up the volume as the anchor intoned, “…has agreed to a plea of guilty but mentally ill to three counts of murder and one count of attempted murder in exchange for prosecutors’ recommendation that he be confined in a psychiatric treatment facility. As viewers will recall, Rumson’s mother, Seattle socialite Nan Milliken Rumson, is presently facing criminal charges of her own for her role in helping Rumson stage a suicide and stay hidden for two years. Rumson’s defense team argued that her sexual abuse of Rumson meant that he was not to blame for his criminal acts because he couldn’t recognize right from wrong. In agreeing to plead insanity, Rumson will avoid a lengthy and probably horrific trial regarding the details of his sexually motivated murders. Sentencing will take place next month.”
The newscast moved on, and Randy turned the volume down again. “The vultures were probably looking forward to months of trial coverage with all the sordid details,” Randy muttered. He looked at Thomas and narrowed his eyes. “You aren’t surprised,” he said.
“The prosecutor told me about it this afternoon,” Thomas confirmed. “I was going to be a material witness, which I was not looking forward to, but she called as a courtesy so I’d know I don’t have to face that. I may still need to go to the sentencing, but even that’s unlikely.”
“I’m so relieved for you,” Joe said. “Randall, please join us in a toast to Thomas’s very good health.”
An hour passed, and Thomas sat at the bar and talked to Randy. Joe visited with Miss Ethel as she played, and a half-empty drink sat next to Thomas’s elbow. Randy was drying a glass when he looked up a bit and smiled broadly.
“What?” Thomas asked, and Randy tilted his head. Thomas turned and saw Zach standing by the front door. His hair was a bit shorter, and the weather had turned mild, so he was dressed in a light-blue polo shirt and dark jeans. He was stunningly handsome.
Thomas jumped off his stool but then made himself walk slowly to Zach. No, Zachary. He was afraid to reach out or do anything, so he stood for a moment. They stared at each other, and hope flickered in Thomas’s chest at the warmth he saw in Zachary’s open, bright face. Finally he said, “I’m glad to see you. Can we get you a drink?”
Zachary told him, “It’s over.”
Thomas’s eyes widened, and his heart cracked a little as the optimism of moments earlier drained away. Well, it was no more than he expected after six weeks of silence.
But Zachary clearly saw the emotions in his face and hurried to say, “Charles or Sam, whoever he was—that’s all over now. He’s gone away for good. The prosecutor called to tell me about the plea and to see if I had any problems with that, since I’m one of the victims. I think she contacted the families of the others as well.”
“What did you tell her?” Thomas asked as he fought the urge to pull Zachary into a hug. Thomas had only been notified as a courtesy. To have an actual say in Charles’s fate would be a terrible burden.
“I told her I was at peace with it. He is insane. No doubt in my mind. There’s a vengeful part of me that wanted him dragged through a public trial for what he did to me and to the others.” Zachary paused, and his eyes were clear as he met Thomas’s gaze. “And for what he did to you too. But I realized something.” He gave a little chuckle, and Thomas crooked his head in question. “When you kicked him in the head, that was all the vengeance I really needed. So thank you for that. Now we can hope justice takes over.”
“You’re a better man than I am,” Thomas said, and his fingers twitched. Zachary saw the movement and smiled a bit. Then he reached out and took Thomas’s hand.
A flash of heat surged through Thomas from their clasped hands, and he took a step closer to Zachary as he said, “I saw that interview you gave. That was smart, to take the media pressure off that way. And I was glad your parents were there. I remember you were afraid of coming out to them.”
Zachary nodded toward the bar. “Randy showed me how to deal with the press inquiries and helped me select an interviewer. It was his idea to have my parents flown in so we could do the interview together.”
He smiled at a memory, and Thomas was amazed at how solid he seemed, as though the trauma of six weeks earlier had done nothing to damage his spirit.
Zachary continued, “You should have seen my father’s face when we all met at the television studio. Randy made a big impression on them. Jerry—that’s my dad—was just in awe of Randy’s confidence and, well, manliness. When he found out how Randy helped save my life, he actually hugged the guy. And then Randy outed himself as a gay man. Well, Jerry and Martha Hall suddenly had their world view rocked—hopefully for the better.”
“I’m sorry I missed that,” Thomas said with a small chuckle. “How is it going with your parents? I mean dealing with both the gay thing and the attack…,” he pro
mpted.
“I’m hopeful they’ll get it one day, but I’ll tell you more about that later.” Zachary shook his head. “That isn’t why I’m here. Can we maybe talk somewhere?”
Thomas led them to a side room that was empty, but he was aware that Randy tracked them with his eyes as they walked out. Thomas tried to prepare himself for whatever would come out of Zachary’s mouth. They sat in adjoining wingback chairs, and Zachary angled his body toward Thomas. He leaned forward as he seemed to gather his thoughts. Thomas felt his heart constrict with anxiety.
Finally Zachary spoke. “What I’m here to say, Thomas, is this—I know you stayed away to give me time, and I appreciate that. I started to call you so many times, but I’m afraid if I had, we’d both always wonder if it was just a reaction to what happened that night. Now, though. I’ve had a lot of therapy these past weeks, and a lot of time to think. The agency was great. They gave me all kinds of leave, no questions asked, so I could really figure out how to move past Rumson and toward what I want.”
“What do you want?” Thomas asked, almost afraid to breathe. Please let it be the same thing as me.
“I want what you promised me, Thomas, the night you saved my life. I’ve come out the other side. Now I want the words.” More softly he said, “I want you.”
Thomas felt his eyes burn as he said without hesitation, “I love you, Zach. I think I’ve been in love with you maybe even from the beginning. And I’m sorry about all this shit I put you through. Not just Rumson, but pushing you away, pretending I didn’t want you when every fiber of my body was calling out for you.” He reached for Zach’s hand again and gripped it hard as he asked, “Can you see yourself with me after all that?”
Zach smiled at him, and it was like dawn had come early to Mata Hari as he leaned across the divide between their chairs and kissed Thomas on the mouth. His lips were together, but his kiss pulsed with strength and courage. He sat back and said, “Oh yes. I can definitely see myself with the kind and generous soul who supports the kids at Rainbow Space and helps his friend start a bar and risks his life for someone he barely met. You already know how handsome you are to me—don’t you dare smirk—but I think you’re even more beautiful inside. There’s a lot of details we don’t know about each other yet, but I can’t wait to find out, if you’re willing.”
He paused and swallowed hard. “I do know this already, Thomas. I love you too.”
Thomas stood up, pulled him up into a hug, and pressed his lips against Zach’s ear as he whispered, “Please be a little patient with me, because I have two years and more of bad habits to break, but I want you to know me. And I want to know you.”
He released Zach and reached into his jacket pocket. “There’s something I’ve been carrying around for a few weeks now, just in case we, uh, ran into each other.” He presented an envelope to Zach, who gasped as he pulled out two first-class tickets to Rome. Thomas explained, “You probably can’t go away right now, since you’re just getting back to work. But they’re open tickets, so they can be used any time. You just call the number on the ticket—there—to schedule the flight. Maybe later this year, you’ll be able to work some vacation.”
Zach looked puzzled. “Me? There’s two tickets. Wouldn’t you be going with me?”
Thomas grinned self-consciously. “I really hope so, but I don’t want you to feel any obligation. These are for you to share with someone special.” He bit his lip and heat crept into his eyes. Zach reacted visibly at the look there, softening and leaning forward slightly as Thomas said in a low voice, “I should warn you that, if you use the ticket on me, I’ve been dreaming about driving along the Amalfi coast with you since we went to the museum with Randy months ago.”
Zach stroked Thomas’s cheek lightly, and Thomas tilted his head to press against Zach’s palm. Zach smiled shyly. “I actually have another two weeks of leave before I have to go back to the office. Thomas, I have these two tickets to Italy. I was wondering if you’d like to go with me. Maybe we can get to know each other better there.”
Thomas matched his grin and said, “I can make that work.” He hugged his Zach again, even more tightly. “I found a hotel in Positano where we’ll wake up looking at the sea. I hope you’ll like it.”
Zach tapped the envelope against Thomas’s chest and pretended to be confused. “It sounds like we’d be sharing a hotel room. Does that mean sex is back on the table?” He grinned as he lightly stroked a hand up Thomas’s back and then down to the curve of his ass. “I swear that’s not the only reason I want to be with you, but the last few weeks, I’ve had some, uh… very explicit dreams about the most handsome man in the world. And can I just say about our sex—Oh. My. God.”
Thomas laughed and grew hard at Zach’s touch. “It’s back on the table, all right,” he said. He felt Zach’s cock against his hip as well, and Thomas moved against it with anticipation. “But I’d like to start this on a new note. Can I be old-fashioned and take you on a date before I let you have your way with me again? Or take me out of the country.”
Zach pretended to pout, but then he grinned widely. “Okay. Have it your way, Mr. Scarborough. I haven’t had dinner yet tonight, if that would count.”
“Well, it might not satisfy Emily Post. But then, she doesn’t know how hard up I’ve been.” Zach looked at him with a question in his eyes, and Thomas said softly, “This makes up for none of the crap I put you through, I get that, but I need you to know—I haven’t been with anyone else since the first night with you at my condo back in February.”
Zach gave a strangled cry and hugged Thomas fiercely. “Thank you. Thank you for that.”
Thomas said in his ear, “I can’t take back all the one-night stands I had before, but once we connected like that… well, I didn’t want to settle for less.”
Thomas felt Zach’s erection throb against him as they hugged. “Damn, you smell good,” Zach murmured with his head against Thomas’s neck. “Maybe we’ll have to make that dinner date a Big Mac to go. Let me just say hi to Randy and Joe, and we’ll get out of here.”
They walked out to the bar with their arms around each other to find Randy grinning and Joe beaming with his hands clasped together. A round of shots already waited for them all.
As they approached the bar, Zach leaned close enough to whisper into Thomas’s ear, “It isn’t how many one-night stands you’ve had before me that matters, Thomas. It’s whether I’m going to be the last on the list.”
“I think you are, Zach. I really think you are.” Thomas smiled.
Epilogue
ZACHARY LEANED back on the lounge chair to bake in the Italian sun on a private terrace at their elegant hotel. No other rooms looked down on theirs, so they might be the only two people in the world.
It all felt like a dream. The first-class flight to Rome, a night in that amazing city, and then the drive to Naples and along the Amalfi Coast in Thomas’s rented 1963 Alfa Romeo Spider had brought them to Le Sirenuse, the most spectacular hotel Zachary could imagine. On their second day in Positano, he let himself relax in luxury as he gazed out at a view completely unlike anything he’d ever seen in Ogden.
Before him the lovely little town glistened in the sunshine, and the colorful houses built into the side of the cliff seemed to tumble down to the Tyrrhenian Sea below. Green and red majolica tiles on the Moorish dome of the cathedral anchored his view and brought balance and harmony to the beauty around him.
And speaking of beauty…. Naked and burnished, Thomas stepped onto the terrace from their room and brought with him two small glasses of limoncello. Thomas stopped to lean against the doorjamb and provocatively ran his eyes over Zachary, who lay equally naked except for his sunglasses, and all splayed out for his lover’s eyes.
His lover. Zachary sighed in pleasure at the thought as Thomas crouched down next to his lounge. His lover handed him one of the chilled glasses full of pale-yellow liquid and then kissed his lips.
They tipped their glasses together and sipped
their limoncello. “Is it just me, or does this stuff taste like sunshine?” Thomas mused and lay on the adjoining chaise longue. “Would you mind rubbing some lotion on my back?” He made his lounge go flat and rolled over so he was facedown on his white towel. Zachary moved to the edge and ran a hand over Thomas’s tanned and muscular shoulders, along his back, and to the white swell of his ass. Then he reversed direction and trailed his fingertips up smooth skin again toward Thomas’s neck.
Thomas turned his head so his cheek rested on his crossed arms as he looked up at Zachary, his blue eyes alight. “I love you, Zach,” he murmured. “No matter how many times I say it, I don’t think you know how much.”
“The fact that you can say it to me at all after the things that have happened to you means more than you can imagine,” Zachary told him. “I understand you so much better now.”
The long drive from Rome had proven perfect for that conversation. Thomas kept his eyes on the road as he told Zach about Rumson, about his parents, even about his revelations of how he’d been hiding from himself with so many men, and only occasionally glanced over to see Zach’s reactions. Zach wanted to wrap Thomas up in his arms to reassure him, but he was able to limit himself to resting a hand on Thomas’s on top of the gearshift until the poison drained from his heart. But when they arrived at the hotel, the bellman had barely closed the door to their suite behind them before Zachary pulled Thomas down onto the bed and showed him that he need never be lonely again.
Zachary shivered pleasantly at the memory and bent over to kiss Thomas’s neck. Then he opened the bottle of sunscreen and applied it to Thomas’s back. “I’m glad that we’ve talked about your past, so we can begin fresh.”
“I think you let me off too easily,” Thomas said as he closed his eyes and relaxed under Zachary’s touch. “Even now I wonder how you can forgive me for putting you in danger and for being such an ass to you.”
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