by Nancy Wells
She turned on her side, away from the hearth when she heard the dragging of a chair. Closing her eyes tightly shut, she prayed to the Lord for a swift and merciful death.
“Emily, I know you are awake. I am not going anywhere until you talk to me.”
Elliot wanted to make sure that she recognized her surroundings. Last night, she believed him to be her prince. She was walking in a fantasy world full of monsters and fire. He wanted to make sure she had not permanently lost her mind. She was pretending to be asleep all the while shaking like a leaf. Her stomach grumbled loudly and she whimpered again. It was kind of sweet that she believed her grumbling stomach gave her away.
“If I apologized for my behavior, will you talk to me?”
Emily was not falling for his tricks. The duke was tricking her into believing that he felt remorse. He was a cold-hearted murderer, he could not feel remorse. He was waiting for her to open her eyes so he could bleed her to death.
“I implore you to speak a word, Emily. You are making me worried.”
Elliot was in a conundrum on how to make her talk. He had never been in a situation like this before. He usually preferred when people left him alone and in peace, but today he did not want peace. He wanted the girl to yell at him, call him a bastard for punishing her for a crime she never committed. Her silence was making him worried.
Elliot touched her softly on her shoulder and she flinched. Her shaking became more violent. His touch had burned her.
“Can you make it not hurt when you take my life?” she asked, disconsolately.
Emily held her breath and waited for his judgment. Either he would grant her wish or make her regret she ever opened her mouth. The duke was not leaving her until she answered him. If she were fortunate, he would have an ounce of empathy left in him. He might be merciful to her in her final hours.
“I am bringing you something to eat,” Elliot said, gloomily. “In the meanwhile, get dressed.”
Elliot felt like someone had stabbed him in the heart. A reputation he had relished so far felt repulsive to him. He was disgusted with himself. He needed a few minutes to gather his thoughts before he said anything else to her.
Emily opened her eyes when she heard the door closing behind the duke. With a heavy heart, she stepped down from the bed. He did not answer her when she made her request. He would be back at any moment and she needed to cover herself. She picked a mustard gown with white lace and small white flowers, placed at the back of a chair and laid it on the bed. If she were to die today then at least her corpse would be dressed regally. Emily wore drawers, white stockings and petticoats. She also picked a corset and was trying unsuccessfully to tie its strings behind her back.
The door opened and the corset fell from her hands. The duke was standing in the doorway, looking at her heaving breasts. Hastily, she picked up the corset and turned her back to him. She struggled with the strings yet again but failed to tie them herself.
“May I?” he asked.
She felt him at her back, asking permission to help her in tying the strings. She held the front of the corset with her hands, granting permission by letting go of the strings. He did not make it tight as her aunt did. She was able to breathe without difficulty. She did not dare to turn when he held her at her waist.
“What makes you believe I am going to take your life, Emily?” he inquired, softly.
Emily did not understand his question. His tone indicated that he had no intention of killing her. Was it possible that she misunderstood his meaning when he talked to his former wife? His words from last night were still ringing in her head. She was his property. He paid his aunt to have her. Her life meant nothing to him.
“You killed her when she went with a servant, Your Grace. I made the same mistake as she.”
Elliot went still behind her. Apparently, he had talked too much that night. Elliot never wanted to share his secret with anyone, but if he wanted to gather her trust, he needed to trust her in return too. He mistreated her because he believed the false words of strangers. She deserved to know a portion of the truth. He had no intention of feeding her a lie.
“She eloped with a servant to the colonies. I loved her and she betrayed my trust. I have been betrayed once; I never wish to go through the same experience again.”
Elliot was reliving the moments Sara lied to him. She made him believe that everything was fine in their marriage. He loved her and remained unaware of her illicit affair with the servant. Elliot’s heart had hardened after her betrayal.
Emily turned around to face him. She needed to assure him of her fidelity. The duke had falsely assumed that she was having an illicit affair with his butler. She had no intention of cheating on him. For better or for worse, he was her husband now.
“You have to believe me, Your Grace,” she said, desperately. “I am not eloping with your servants. It was a misunderstanding. He was kind to me and I trusted him. Your Grace, he…”
The duke put a finger to her lips, silencing her words. He did not seem angry. He was feeling remorse. Emily saw his guilt clear as day in his eyes. He was not proud of his behavior. He was ashamed for the way he treated her last night. The duke had changed overnight. He did not trust her in the chapel, but now she could see a flicker of trust in his eyes.
“Hush, Emily. There is no need for explanation. The fault lies with me. I reacted irrationally. I assure you, nothing like this will ever happen again. I judged you wrongly.”
Emily could feel that he wanted to say more but the knock on the door interrupted him. She wanted to hear him say all those sweet words to her. She was craving a few more sweet words from her husband. She was craving the closeness to her husband.
“One moment,” he said, loudly.
Picking up the dress, he helped her put it on. She looked down at her cleavage and blushed when she felt his gaze on it. She recalled her first night when he had kissed her bosoms. She could still feel the warmth of his lips on her body.
Smiling at her reaction, Elliot opened the door and took a tray from the maid. He closed the door behind him and put the tray down on a coffee table beside the hearth. Emily joined him as he poured hot tea in two cups. The tray was laden with fruits, biscuits and small lemon cakes.
Emily picked up her cup and put two lumps of sugar in her tea. The first sip of tea felt divine to her taste buds. Her stomach grumbled again and she looked sheepishly at him.
“Your stomach has been empty for three days.” Elliot smiled and pushed the whole tray towards her. “This is all for you.”
Emily was puzzled by his words. They had shared a meal the night before yesterday. She remembered her clumsiness at the dinner table. She had made a fool out of herself. Emily would forever remain indebted to him for not mocking her when she could not lift a simple knife and fork. Her stomach had not been empty for three days.
“I ate sweets in the market yesterday, Your Grace,” Emily said.
So much had happened in the days she was ill and yet she was unaware of everything. Elliot’s whole world had been turned upside down in those three days. He learned a depressing secret about his friend, Russell. His butler was still missing. He had stayed by her side every night, praying for the fever to break. So much has happened in the last three days, he could not sum it up in one sentence.
“Emily, you were unconscious for three days,” he said, hesitantly. “Your fever broke last night.”
Emily recalled some nightmares but nothing else. The fire, the cold sea, the monsters, and her prince, everything felt like a distant memory to her. She looked down at her cup when she realized the duke must have witnessed her in her nightmares. Back in the cottage, she always had nightmares after getting beaten by her aunt. The monsters and the prince were always part of her dreams. In her dreams, she was never saved but she had a vague memory that her prince saved her last night.
“Emily, I am sorry for making you do all those things the other night. You… you must be repulsed by my actions. I made you take my�
��” he cleared his throat, skipping the word, “in your mouth.”
Emily was careened into the present by his words. She was not meeting his eyes because she did not find it repulsive. Emily had never heard of such an act from the married girls in the village. She liked worshiping his manhood while kneeling at his feet. She felt powerful when he squirmed in the seat while she sucked at his manhood. She liked having him at her mercy. She hated him when he tied her hands and disgraced her, but he had softened the moment she screamed for mercy. Even in his drunken state, he stopped hurting her when the pain became unbearable for her.
“Why are you smiling?” Elliot observed a pink hue on her cheeks. “Are you blushing?”
To Elliot’s wonder, Emily became scarlet at his words. She hid her face behind her palms and Elliot smiled. His wife seemed to be as debased as he. He had forgotten about her reaction to his hand on her bottom. She enjoyed it when he smacked her buttocks in the carriage. Any other girl would have cried bloody murder and called him a demon for making her participate in unholy acts.
“Can we please not discuss that night, Your Grace?”
Emily was not comfortable with the topic of conversation. She wished to forget about the events of that night. For him, days might have passed, but Emily’s memory was still fresh. For her, all of that happened only yesterday.
She looked discreetly at his face, looking for the cruel man that was waiting for her in the night. That person did not ask her opinion. He did not give her a chance. Granted, the duke was not in his right mind at the time, but his true emotions were made clear. He was still in love with his first wife. He had not accepted Emily as his wife yet.
“Well… I am not comfortable with making you hurt,” Elliot said. “Next time, when you feel I am pushing your limits, you will utter one special word and I will stop. You will call… Prince. Prince will save you from the monster.”
Emily liked this idea. She always dreamed about a magic spell that would halt her aunt’s stick. That stick was still part of her nightmares. She would not feel helpless if one word could stop the pain and hurt. Oddly, she believed his words. She knew he was not lying.
“It will be a magic word,” Emily wondered out loud.
Elliot was looking at the conflicting emotions on Emily’s face. She was processing his words. He was wondering if she understood his underlying meaning. He was deliberately calling himself a monster. Elliot was sipping his tea, waiting for her to remark on his comment about the prince. Elliot sprayed out the tea when she called it a magic word.
“What?” he said, amused and coughing from the tea lodged in his throat.
Her face turned crimson with embarrassment. She never intended to actually utter the words. She pushed her chair back and was running away from his presence. Emily gasped when she felt him reaching out to catch her. He pulled her back by her skirts and she yelped in shock. She stumbled and fell in his lap. He was looking at her with eyes full of blatant desire. His Adam’s apple moved when he gulped while looking down at her lips.
She closed her eyes when his head bent towards her. The duke took his time in exploring her lips. He bit her lower lip and her breathing became erratic. Her heart was beating so hard, she feared it would fall from her chest. He waited for a few moments, giving her time to object but when there were no complaints from her, he kissed her passionately. Their tongues were sparring while his hands were roaming her body. Emily heard a moan and realized it was coming from her own mouth. She could not speak boldly to him when he talked to her, but in this moment of passion, every cell in her body understood his language. She was responding to his desire with her own. When the need for air became necessary, he lifted his head.
“You are beautiful,” he said.
“Thank you, Your Grace,” she said, entrapped in his gaze.
When her senses returned to normal, she squirmed on his lap, trying to get down. The duke hissed and she became still on his lap. His hard member was poking her bottom. Despite what they shared a moment ago, she was afraid of his anger. If she asked him to not couple with her this instant, he might get offended. He had a claim on her body. She could not stop him from taking his due. She was his property.
“Emily, let me hold you for a few moments. I have no intentions of demanding anything else but next time, kindly use your special word. I give you my word, I will respect your wishes,” Elliot said, kindly. “I know it does not make up for what I did to you, but as a token of goodwill, I want you to stop calling me Your Grace. I want you to call me by my name, Elliot.”
Emily wanted to believe him, but how could she ever forget the things he said about her to his wife’s ghost. He accused her of having liaisons with criminals and harlots. He did not want her. She was just property he owned. He was kind to her today because he felt remorse for making her sick. It made him a good person but not someone that could be trusted with one’s heart. He would return to his same obnoxious self once she recovered fully. A few words of kindness could not erase his rude behavior. From the moment her aunt left her at the chapel, her presence had been a nuisance to him. He had been hard on her ever since they met. He humiliated her in his study, she could never forget that.
As always, Emily felt alone in the world. No one cared for her. Her aunt sold her to this man for a few coins. Emily did not want to forgive her aunt for hiding that fact from her, but despite everything, her aunt was her only living family.
Elliot wanted her to call him by his name but Emily remained silent. Elliot knew he was asking too much of her. He wanted to ask her about the markings on her back but it was not the right time to ask something like that. He waited for some time, waiting for her to say something, anything, but her lips remained shut. Elliot closed his eyes and looked away from her.
“Make me understand, Emily,” Elliot said, miserably. “What made you so upset? Where did I go wrong? Walk me through your horrors. I want to give our marriage a chance. Tell me, please. I promise to keep my hands away from you until you call me by my name. I am begging you, Emily. Talk to me about that night.”
Emily’s heart softened when she saw a proud man feeling so helpless. The duke wanted to know about his actions. He was not in his senses that night. He might not remember the things he did or said that night. Emily was not so heartless as to leave him wondering about his crimes, but she could not plunge into opening her heart to him either. She wanted to understand his intentions. He threatened to kill her aunt, he was unpredictable.
“Your Grace, I am afraid of your anger, but you already know that. You called me by another woman’s name and it made me feel like an imposter in your life. You love your first wife even when she is not here anymore. You bought me from my aunt, which makes me your property. I have no right to make demands from you. I am not asking you to give me the station of your wife. I want your assurance that you will not turn into that person again. I hate that person who did not give me a chance to explain my reasons.”
Elliot was feeling small in his own skin. He forced her into becoming his wife and took her away from her world. He wanted to save the girl, but in the process, he snatched her identity and self-respect from her. He treated her so cruelly that she became afraid of him. Instead of making her feel saved, he made her life more miserable. He did not listen to her pleas that night.
He loved Sara but her betrayal made him hate her to the same depths of his love. That night, he was not in his right mind. He did not want her back in his life. Sara was gone for good. He wanted to try his luck with Emily.
“You have my word, I am not touching alcohol again,” he said, urgently. “It is true that I loved her, but it does not mean I cannot respect you. You are not an imposter in this house, I am. You have every right to make demands, Emily.” His voice was becoming hoarse as the emotions overwhelmed him. “Do not restrain your heart from desiring something. This whole house is yours. Eat healthily, run around, break the whole house, no one will stop you.”
He was asking her to feel at home in
this house and make demands for worldly possessions. Emily trusted every word from his mouth. She believed the remorse in his eyes. The duke truly wanted to make her feel safe. There was no harm in hearing his concerns, but how could she tell him that she could not bring herself to give their marriage a chance when there was another woman amidst them?
“Your Grace, it is kind of you to say that. You can ask me whatever is troubling you. I want to understand you, but you are very complicated.”
The duke had a troubled soul. There was no harm in answering his few queries. He was troubled about something. Emily saw him struggling with his emotions. He wanted to say more but was restraining himself.
“In the nightmare… what does the monster look like?”
Emily saw the horror in his eyes. He believed himself to be the monster in her dreams. Emily wished she could tell him that it had nothing to do with him but that would be a lie. The monster in her dreams might not look like him, but she considered him a dark lord in her life. He did not give her a reason to trust him. He barged into her life and brought her more misery. He might not have caused the previous nightmares but he was responsible for the most recent one. The monster never captured her before. It was his presence that made the monster more powerful.
“It has no face,” she lied, looking away from him. “Your Grace, I had recurring nightmares long before you came into my life. You should not blame yourself for them. You are not the monster in my nightmare.”
Elliot saw through her lies. She was looking away from him, not meeting his eyes. Emily was not an expert liar. Elliot could tolerate many things but he did not take kindly to someone lying to him. He wanted her to blame him but not lie to him. The lies were a reminder of his past mistakes. Sara lied to him all the time and he remained unaware of her deception.