by Nia Arthurs
Holding on to every strap of control I have, I put my entire focus on Asia.
In a few minutes, her fingers dig against the railing.
She starts to squirm.
Then whimper.
I keep going until she’s vibrating like a plucked violin string.
When she’s on the edge, I stop and pull myself up.
Asia stares at me with wide eyes. A stunned, “Hansley” falls from her lips.
I grin. Lick my mouth slowly.
Taste her there. On me.
She watches every stroke of my tongue, her chest heaving. “You… bastard.”
I stroke my fingers around her lips, careful not to smudge her lipstick. “That,” I lean in close, “is how you tease.”
She makes a sound that’s part growl, part moan.
I laugh and step back.
My phone buzzes.
Brett and Sharon’s picture.
It amazes me that I can watch this photo and not feel the same knives-in-the-gut pain that I once did. Sharon meant the world to me. She was the first woman who crept into my heart, but the woman who’s taken over is Asia.
It’s all Asia.
I answer the call and speak before Brett can scold me. “We’re on our way.” I glance over my shoulder and find Asia pushing her dress back down and spearing me an I’m so getting you back for that look. Amusement rings in my voice. “Give us about fifteen minutes.”
“Make it twenty.” She points at her hips. “I need to change… something.”
I smirk. Turn back to the phone. “Give us twenty minutes.”
While Asia changes quickly upstairs, I grab a bottle of iced water and calm myself down.
By the time we head out, we’ve got enough of ourselves in order to get through the dinner. Maybe drinks too. But nothing else. I’m pretty sure my wife and I will be sneaking away for our own private dessert tonight.
“This is nice,” Asia says, stroking my knuckles with her thumb.
I glance over at her. “What is?”
“Hanging out with you.” Her voice cracks a little. “I hope we can convince Jensen tonight so you don’t have to work so much.”
“Did you miss me?” I tease, fully expecting her to snap back and insist she didn’t.
To my surprise, Asia whispers, “Yes.”
I almost crash into the car in front of me.
Slamming on the brakes, I turn to her. “What?”
“Hansley, we’ll be late.” She gestures to the road.
I start driving, but my head spins like a top.
Asia keeps stroking my hand. “I’ve been thinking.”
“Hm.”
“Maybe you were right.”
“About?” I ask.
“Staying married.” She peers at me in the shadows. “I think I might consider it.”
My head snaps in her direction. “Asia…”
“I think I’d like to stay married to you, Hansley.”
My entire world shakes. Thank God we’re already in front of the restaurant and I get to park safely. If I were still on the road, I would have run right into a ditch.
Nervously, Asia pops out of the car and scurries toward the door without another word.
I jump out and lengthen my stride to catch up with her.
She shoots me a frantic look and glances away, her bottom lip trapped between her teeth.
Happiness fills every inch of my body. I take her hand and clasp it tightly, holding on for dear life.
This is everything I’ve ever wanted.
It’s right there in my hands.
I need to tell her I love her.
Tonight.
Right now.
Damn. But Jensen…
After, then.
I’ll tell her as soon as we’re through with the dinner.
We enter the lobby, her—smiling shyly and me—grinning like an idiot.
And then we turn the bend.
Two people catch my eye and I freeze in my tracks.
Because standing in the middle of the hallway is Thad.
And Svena.
Twenty-Nine
Asia
There’s a difference between love and being in love. Being in passionate love with Hansley feels like I’ve stepped into an alternate universe.
It’s the same night sky. The same moon. The same air.
But it’s different.
Everything is heightened.
The sky seems close enough for my fingertips to brush against it. The moon shines brighter. The air smells sweeter.
These shoes pinched the hell out of my toes when I first bought them a few months ago. But tonight? They might as well be two slabs of cotton because I'm floating straight off the ground.
In the back of my mind, there’s still that voice telling me to be careful. To keep some common sense handy in case I need it. But that voice gets drowned out every time Hansley looks at me. Or touches me…
Oh. When he touches me…
I can never go back.
What I’ve tasted and felt with him has become something I want.
Something I need.
Something I can no longer live without.
Tonight feels like… the beginning of a chapter.
This Jensen deal will end Hansley’s busy schedule and we can finally get back to learning more about each other and spending more time together. The thought of it makes me almost giddy.
I squeeze his hand tightly as we walk into the lobby together.
Suddenly, Hansley stops short.
I do too.
My gaze lifts to his face.
His Adam’s apple bobs out and in. Out and in.
His normally tan skin has gone down to the finest shade of white.
Stricken, I slide my eyes over to the people responsible for causing that horrified expression.
It’s Thad.
I don’t know why, but I start to laugh under my breath.
Hansley whips around and stares at me, his thick lashes bouncing up and down. Confusion creeps between his brows and form a tight, little wrinkle there.
“Come on. Let’s say hi.”
“I don’t think we should do that,” Hansley says in a low voice.
My fingers latch around his arm and I drag him forward anyway.
I’m happy.
Deliriously so.
More so than Thad could have made me.
When I look at the man I spent two years of my life with, I no longer feel pain, anger, or bitterness. I’m just grateful.
I’m grateful he ended it before I committed myself to a lifetime of marriage—that I would have honored until death because that’s just who I am—and a lifetime of misery.
I’m grateful he chose that Vegas honeymoon package because it led to a crazy turn of events that are working out really, really well for me.
I’m grateful that I can look ahead to an exciting, passionate future.
Why would I run from Thad?
He has no power over me.
He has nothing I want or need.
Hansley’s body turns as heavy as lead and it feels like I’m dragging a bull by a chain to get him closer to Thad.
When we near him, I notice that he’s chatting with a stunning woman. For a moment, I just stare at her, wondering what magical fairytale she jumped out of.
Her platinum blonde hair is so light that it’s got a silver sheen. Sharp blue eyes cut through me with the force of an artic blade. Her body is lithe and graceful. Built for size zero designer gowns and photoshoots.
My fingers itch to take her picture, just for the heck of it. She’s that gorgeous.
Thad sees our approach. His eyes fasten on me and then go down slowly, slowly, slowly. When his eyes bounce back up, a blush steals over his cheeks and admiration beams from his eyes.
It’s funny that he’s looking at me that way. He never used to when we were together. Not once did he make me feel sexy. Because for us, it was never about looks. It was about the list and wha
t we checked off it.
It’s a good strategy.
A safe one.
But it’s not the path I’m on tonight.
Though I do admit to feeling a little flutter of pride that Thad shoots me that look when he has a high-fashioned Elsa standing next to him.
“Asia.” Thad’s voice comes out high and cracks on the end. He clears his throat, a darker blush stealing across his face. “Asia, hi.”
“Hi, Thad.”
He stares at me some more.
I half-expect Hansley to clear his throat, but he doesn’t.
Because my husband isn’t looking at me.
He’s looking at her.
My confidence wanes like one of those dancing balloons bowling over from the wind.
Hansley pulls his gaze away from the blonde and catches me staring at him. Guilt spreads through his dark brown eyes, unsettling me even more than before.
Why is he acting so weird?
My heart pounds with dread.
What am I missing here?
Thad swallows. “Um, uh… this is Svena. An old friend.”
“Nice to meet you,” Svena says. Her English is crisp, but there’s a hint of an accent. A moment ago, I would have gushed about it. But, after seeing the way my husband couldn’t take his eyes off her, I’m less inclined to do so.
Does that make me horrible? Insecure?
Immature impulses flit through my mind. No wonder wives who’ve been cheated on go insane and start fighting the mistress. I barely know this girl and I switched out so quickly.
Stop, Asia.
I breathe deeply. Try to ignore the hollow ache in my chest telling me that something is wrong.
Pasting a smile on my face, I nod at Thad. “We’re actually late for a meeting so…”
“Yeah. Yeah.” He straightens. “Svena and I just bumped into each other, but I actually have a—I’m taking my mom to the…”
“Her bingo night?”
“Right.” His eyes remain on me. “Right.”
My smile turns strained.
Suddenly, I’m exhausted.
Standing here.
In front of my ex.
And the woman that could shake up my husband with her mere presence.
Svena’s gaze dips to my ring. “That’s pretty.”
“Thank you.” I dip my chin. “It was nice meeting you, Svena.”
“Hansley.” Her lips quirk upward in a knowing smirk.
My heart sinks to my toes.
Just plummets.
And then it smacks the floor, bawling out as little pieces of it shatter and sprinkle like glass shards.
Svena knows my husband.
Those eyes hold sensual secrets that I thought I owned the key to.
Those lips have tasted him.
And been tasted in return.
I almost stumble.
It takes everything, everything inside me to walk away with my head held high. Right now, I’m clinging to politeness by my fingernails. I’m gripping on with all the strength in my body. But it’s falling apart by the second.
I inhale thick, frantic breaths.
My intuition thumps against my soul, knocking and knocking, refusing to leave until it’s roused my old fears and doubts. Until the old, by-the-books Asia answers.
As we walk away from Svena, Hansley places his hand on my back. The huge cut-out allows his rough fingers to graze my skin.
Down the dip of my spine.
Warmth in the cold.
A minute ago and that touch would have sent me into a tailspin of desire. Hansley left me on the brink back at the house. He left me panting for him, needing more.
He guaranteed that I’d spend the entirety of this dinner thinking about what we would do when it was over.
But it all went up in flames.
So quickly.
So fragile.
I stare into his brown eyes, searching for reassurances.
That I’m overreacting.
Thinking too much.
That we all have a past.
Hell, Thad was mine.
But I don’t find it.
He’s shuttered. Distant.
His smile doesn’t reach his eyes.
It’s obvious he’s worried about something.
I pick up on it and multiply it until I’m an anxious wreck.
The dinner is painful.
Tierra and Brett carry that meeting on their backs.
By the time our third course rolls around, my head aches and I’m more than ready to go home. Instead, I politely excuse myself to the bathroom.
When I walk in, there’s a woman there retouching her makeup.
Her blue eyes capture mine in the reflection of the glass.
Svena.
For a split-second, I contemplate running out of the room.
She’s so… intense.
And she wasn’t afraid to act like she was intimately acquainted with Hansley in front of me before. If that’s only going to get worse, I don’t want to be here.
But I don’t walk away.
I don’t run.
As much as my instincts are screaming for me to get out, I walk to the basin.
Turn on the faucet.
Wash my hands.
“You’re not his usual type,” Svena says.
“Excuse me?” I turn to her.
That crisp voice carries a note of curiosity in it. “Sorry. I don’t mean to be rude. It’s just…” Another head-to-toe sweep. “I wonder what it was about you that moved him.”
It’s strange. These words sound like a diss, but in that cautious, confused tone of hers, she manages to convey genuine bewilderment.
This isn’t the high school bully confronting me in a bathroom.
This is one grown woman approaching another, wondering what she lacked and the other had. It’s like Svena thinks I won some ‘prize’ by marrying Hansley.
She’s over there comparing herself to me. And I’m here comparing myself to her, wondering if I measured up to Hansley’s past conquests.
In that moment, we both realize our own stupidity and break into warm smiles.
She tilts her head, her eyes wide and warm. “Did he tell you yet?”
“Tell me what?”
She stares at me for a long, long moment. “Nothing. Have a good night, Mrs. Nicholas.”
I watch her walk out and something in my chest shrivels to nothing.
Did he tell you yet?
What was Svena talking about?
What the hell is Hansley hiding from me?
Thirty
Hansley
I, honestly, have no idea what anyone is saying around this table. None.
I hate letting my personal life mess with my professional life. And I’m trying my best to focus. I really am.
Seeing Svena threw me for a whole damn loop. The moment I noticed her standing next to Thad, I was one hundred percent sure that my life was over. That they were plotting some extreme coup.
I got scared.
Mad frightened.
And it wasn’t because I feared the bad press or what news of yet another personal life screw-up would do to the Jensen deal that we were scrambling to salvage.
I shook in my boots at the thought of losing Asia.
That she’d hear about Svena from Thad or some online tabloid instead of me.
That her hurt would be multiplied because of the way she heard about my drama on top of the pregnancy itself.
When I found out that Thad had only run into Svena on his way out and that they were old friends, the guilt didn’t stop.
My chest kept pounding.
Fingers kept shaking.
Worry kept pounding.
I feel like I’m a high rise and a wrecking ball is about to smash right into my foundation and grind me into ash.
My legs bounce beneath the table.
Conversation flows around me. Over me.
It’s like a river with a dam.
It’s going
somewhere else.
Anywhere else but my ears.
A soft sound reaches over to me.
I glance down and find a dark hand tapping against a piece of paper.
It’s Tierra.
With a note.
What’s wrong? Why are you biting your lip?
I relax my mouth, realizing that Asia’s bad habit rubbed off on me.
Just then, she returns from the bathroom.
I look up.
Our gazes connect.
The soft overhead light bathes her skin in silver.
She’s glowing in that dress.
The way it hugs her curves.
Sets off the tone of her brown skin.
Gives her confidence.
Thad’s tongue got twisted after one second of looking at her.
The punk.
I should have addressed it.
I should have…
But I was too busy trying to figure out if Svena was plotting against me. My head had too many thoughts in it to focus on that one.
Asia sits stiffly beside me and folds her napkin in her lap. She's been polite but cold ever since we bumped into Svena and her ex.
Is she upset because I didn’t check Thad when he stared at her? Or is it something else?
Damn. I can’t wait to leave this place.
It’s hard to breathe.
My throat’s closing up.
Every second feels like an hour.
Despite the dark emotions roiling in my chest, I answer every question Jensen points my way. Asia, too, does her best to be engaged. We fool Jensen well enough, but I know my wife better than she thinks.
She’s doing her best not to bite her lip.
Her fingers play with the napkin instead.
And that little crease in her forehead…
Something’s bothering her.
Guilt sends a wildfire of explanations through my head, all surrounding Asia finding out that I got Svena pregnant.
What feels like an eternity later, Jensen and his wife prepare to leave. He promises to consider what we discussed tonight (what the hell did we discuss again?) and strides out of the room.
Brett moves over to my side of the table while Asia and Tierra band together in their own corner.
My best friend catches my eye, his silver gaze aflame. “What the hell, Hansley? Half of you disappeared tonight.”
“I’m sorry.” I scrub my hands over my cheek.
“I don’t think he noticed.” Brett glances over at Asia. “Are you two… okay?”