by K Loraine
Strong arms scooped me into a cradle hold, and the heat of Logan’s body quelled some of the shaking in my own. He smelled good. Like leather and pine. And right now, that was what I needed. Someone to hold my pieces together while I fell apart, because with the truth of Cashel’s betrayal, I wasn’t okay. In fact, I was so far from okay I didn’t know if I’d ever find that place again.
“She’s done. She needs some peace,” Logan said.
Hector didn’t argue, and when I opened my eyes, I found his, pity hiding behind strength. “I’m sorry you had to find out like this, sweet girl. I didn’t do it to hurt you.”
“Didn’t you, though?” Logan asked.
He walked away, me in his arms, and didn’t let Hector answer. Instead, he took me back to a tent that wasn’t mine. It was slightly larger than the one I’d woken up in, with a small shelf filled with various weapons and a few old western paperback novels. Logan’s space.
“You were right,” I said through a tight throat. “About it all. He did use me. He hid the pain but he promised he’d never control me. He lied.”
“I’m sorry.”
A bitter laugh escaped me. “No, you’re not. This is what you wanted from the beginning.”
“True. But I don’t want to see you sad. Believe it or not, I want you to be happy, to have all the things you deserve.”
“You don’t even know me. We spent some time in a car together, that’s it.”
Somewhere during this, I stopped shaking and started getting angry. I took a long, slow breath and fought the urge to rage at him for the shitshow my life had become.
“I know you better than you think.”
I cocked my head and raised my brows. “Really?”
“You have anxiety attacks because of the trauma in your past. You sleep on your side, curled up like you might fall apart if you don’t hold yourself together. You miss your mom so badly you won’t let yourself think about her.”
I shrugged. “Those are observations.”
“Your real name is Rosella, but you haven’t gone by it since you were five.”
All the air left my lungs. “How did you know that?”
“We’ve been looking for you and your mom for a long time. Just like the Blackthornes were, but they got to you first. I’m sorry for that. We failed you. We never wanted you to have to endure the torture of living with them.”
“You didn’t just fail me. You failed my mom.” Tears sprung to my eyes, regret burning in my throat.
“I can’t bring her back, but I can promise you, we’ll get vengeance.” He took my hand and squeezed. “Together.”
I stared at his fingers, long and rough with scars from countless fights, his tanned skin such a contrast to Cashel’s. An ache began in my chest before I pushed it away. He’d used me. Cashel had used me, and I’d been powerless to stop him. I could never trust him again.
Logan brushed his thumb over mine and I looked into his eyes, making my decision then and there. “Teach me how to fight.”
“On your left,” Logan shouted, his voice low and tight.
I ducked and spun out of the path of the man who was charging me. Pulling a stake from the holster at my side, I readied my defense and popped to my feet. Adrenaline coursed through my veins, making my blood hum with pins and needles. I hated this part. It was the moment my body tried to pick between falling into a full-fledged anxiety attack or controlling my situation. I still wasn’t able to tell which way things were going to go.
But my rival was back at it, rushing me without giving me much choice on what to do. It was kill or be killed. I aimed to kill.
With a harsh scream, I ran straight into him, the stake pressing into his chest until I couldn’t go any farther. Time stopped. I held my breath. And then Logan began clapping.
“Well done. That was the first time you didn’t get yourself killed five seconds in.”
Stepping back from my opponent, I pulled the stake from his padded vest and returned it to my holster. “I didn’t get myself killed this time at all.”
He shook his head and reached out to brush his fingers across my throat. They came away red with a mixture of corn syrup and food coloring. A sure sign Knight, the hunter masquerading as a vampire for this training, had dealt me a killing blow of some kind. Dammit. Again, I would have ended up dead. I was still a danger to them even after all the practice sessions and training Logan and Knight had done with me.
“Got your carotid. Sorry, Liv.” Knight grinned and shrugged. “Next time.”
“I didn’t even notice.” I reached up and dragged my hand through the fake blood. “He was so fast.”
“That’s the idea. You might have gotten him, but he got you in the end too. Stake and run. Don’t linger.”
I fought a disappointed sigh. “We’ve been at this for weeks. I’m not going to stay here and be a liability.”
Logan took my hand, his warmth something I was now accustomed to, even grateful for. “You’re not. You’re important to our cause, and to me.”
Something about the way he said those words had me fighting a wave of loneliness and grief. Cashel had said the same on more than one occasion. He’d made me feel so much more than I’d been prepared for. But he’d lied to me too.
“I’m tired of being important because of my blood. I want to be normal. I want to be a woman living her life, not the pet of people who want something from me.”
“We don’t want anything from you other than to keep you from falling into their hands again. But you need to learn how to defend yourself. Not only against the Blackthornes. Every vampire clan who catches your scent will be after you. If you can kill them, you can live as normal a life as possible.”
I turned away, staring down at the flowing mountain stream cutting a path through rock and earth. It was small but mighty, and that’s what I wanted to be. Balling my hands into fists, I fought off the lingering pain of knowing Cashel had abandoned me just as easily as he’d lied. I let him go and turned my focus inward, to being strong, to preparing myself for a life without him.
“You’re right. I know. I just want to be able to move forward now. I need to be able to.”
His hand trailed along my shoulder, brushing the hair away from my neck and over to the other side. “I can help you with that…if you want.”
Full lips were all I could focus on. The bottom one slightly larger, both closing in on me, about to kiss me. My heart kicked into overdrive, and I backed away quicker than I intended. “What are you doing, Logan?”
“Kissing you.”
I shook my head. “No. I’m… I can’t.”
His expression darkened. “Why? Because of him? He’s not here. He didn’t come for you. He doesn’t want you.”
That hurt. He might as well have slapped me. The burn of loss gripped my heart and caused tears to clog my throat. “Thanks for the reminder.”
“Fuck, Liv, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean—”
“No. You meant exactly what you said. I know you think because of everything I’ve learned, I should let him go.”
He crossed his arms over his chest and offered me a disapproving glare. “I do. He deserves death for what he did to you. Instead, you’re punishing yourself for everything that happened. He held you captive. He stole your pleasure, invaded your mind, and dammit, he as good as raped you.”
Defensive anger bloomed in my chest. “He never raped me.”
Logan dragged a hand over the dark stubble on his jaw. “How do you know? He invaded your thoughts and colored everything about your feelings.”
“He made me feel good. Spared me pain when he fed. That’s different.” The words sounded forced even to my own ears. I didn’t know the truth when I believed that. Was I just making excuses for a man who’d abused me?
“How do you know that was all he did? There could be so much more that affected you.”
“There’s not. I’d have remembered.”
But would I? I wasn’t sure. Everything was turned
around, and I couldn’t remember how I’d gone from hating Cash to loving him. Had he done more to my mind than my session with Hector had revealed?
“Just remember, you also thought he’d never meddle in your thoughts, but here we are. It’s not your fault you feel like this. It’s his. He manipulated you.”
I closed my eyes against the pain the truth brought me. Logan was right. He’d been right so many times. Sinking to the ground, I sat on a large rock at the water’s edge. “It doesn’t feel like that.”
Reaching into his back pocket, he pulled out a phone before he took a seat next to me. “I need to show you something. I… I didn’t want to upset you when you were already heartbroken, but I think this is the only thing that’s going to help you.”
Confusion swirled in my mind. “What are you talking about?”
He swiped across the screen a few times before offering me the device. “Just press play and watch.”
I stared down at the phone, brows pulling together in disbelief. A cold rush of dread traced its way down my spine. “That’s…my old house. That’s where my mother died.”
He put a hand on my arm. “I know. I’m sorry.”
My stomach twisted and rolled, nausea clutching at my throat, but still, I pressed my finger to the button, and the video began to play.
3
Cashel
I’d been trapped in this dungeon for weeks, starved and held in this cage, save for the moments someone came to torture me. My shoulder burned with searing pain from the brand they’d given me. A traitor mark, large and prominent. A reminder of what I’d done. That would have been bearable if it ensured Olivia was safe, but with every day that passed, I could feel my connection to her dwindling. I couldn’t track her now even if I tried. Which meant I couldn’t keep her safe either. She was farther from me than she’d been since I found her, and I only had myself to blame.
“You lost her,” Eliana’s voice in my head was unwelcome and infuriating.
“Fuck off.”
“My, my, you never used to speak to me with such vitriol, Cashel. In fact, if I remember it right, you used to whisper my name like it was a prayer and I was your saving grace.”
“Things have changed.”
The bars of my cell clanked loud enough to startle me back to the real world. I stared at the man standing in the open door. “Talking to yourself now, Blackthorne?”
I stood tall, ready to fight again no matter how famished they’d made me. “Back for more?” I asked.
He laughed. “There’s nothing that pleases me more than bringing you excruciating pain. But tonight you meet your fate. Come on. You’ve been summoned.”
“My sentencing?” I asked, a mixture of relief and terror gripping me. I was too weak to defend myself if they planned to take me down, but part of me just wanted all this to be over.
My jailer didn’t answer. He pulled my arms behind my back and closed a pair of silver cuffs around my wrists before covering my head with a hood and nudging me forward.
Each step felt like I was weighted down with cement. I needed to feed. Desperately. By the time we reached the executioner’s circle and they pulled the black hood from my head, the world was dark around the edges, fatigue creeping in and threatening to take away my sense of reality. I fell to my knees at the center of the circle, the members of the council standing watch, hoods covering their heads, hiding their faces. Eliana had broken a cardinal rule by outing herself as a member of the secret council, and she knew it. But why risk her position?
“Cashel Blackthorne,” the vampire at the dais in front of me said. “You are aware of the charges brought against you.”
It wasn’t a question, and I didn’t answer. Instead, I stared hard at the figure I sensed was Eliana, praying she’d find some mercy. There was nothing radiating from her other than hostility. The entire group of council members burned me with their unseen gazes. I knew what the verdict would be because the truth was, I was guilty. Together, Olivia and I had killed my father and my brother, both driven mad by sun sickness. But I couldn’t die here. It couldn’t end like this. I had so much left to experience with Olivia by my side if it wasn’t too late to get her back.
“You will stand to hear your fate, Blackthorne.”
My gut churned, but I managed to rise. I lifted my chin and stared hard at the head of the council. He would have to see my face when he handed me my fate.
“It is the decision of this council that you are guilty of treason and will face execution by silver this night. The Blackthorne crown will go to—”
“Me.” A feminine voice I didn’t recognize rang out from the gathered crowd of vampires. We all turned to face her, shock registering on the expressions of many onlookers. A small woman with sparkling green eyes and a regal bearing strode into the circle to join me. She stopped when she reached the place I stood and settled a hand on my shoulder. She looked every inch like the bird-boned little creature my father always described her to be. Deceptively tiny and secretly vicious.
“Anne?” the council leader said, his voice filled with incredulity.
“Yes. Long time no see, Samson.” She winked. “Though, the last time you said my name like that you had a decidedly smaller amount of clothing on.”
Samson shifted, clearly uncomfortable that she’d outed his identity. “You—”
“I am Anne Blackthorne, first wife of Elias, and rightful queen of the Blackthorne lands. My crown will go to no one else.”
“But, the King had children. Callum was his firstborn.”
“And he is now dead.”
“Cashel—”
“According to you, he’s a traitor. And we all know about Lucas, the half-breed bastard.”
“I’m sorry, Anne, you have no claim.”
A crackle of dark energy radiated from her. “By law, our union was not severed. We had no children. Which means I am still ruler and now that I’ve been released, I can do my duty. I’ll take a husband, produce an heir, and we can put aside this…ugliness.”
The crowd around us collectively gasped before the council members shifted in their places, clearly uncomfortable. “You’ve been in exile for hundreds of years,” Samson said.
“I have, and now my husband is dead. I will take my crown or take down anyone who stands in my way.”
I couldn’t see their faces, but their combined unease radiated and filled the air. All of them turned to face Samson, the council leader, waiting for his response. But after a few tense moments passed, he stepped forward and bowed his head.
“I have no quarrel with you, my queen, but your husband’s son is a traitor and must be punished.”
“No. Cashel Blackthorne is hereby pardoned of his crimes. He only acted out of necessity to free me from unlawful exile and bring back the rightful queen. He is loyal to the crown.”
I forced myself to remain upright, pretending that her words were true. This woman shouldn’t have the crown, but did I have the energy to fight her? Not yet. I’d bide my time until I could take my place and ensure the Blackthorne legacy was upheld and changed for the better.
“Take these shackles off my husband’s bastard son, he deserves better than this.” Anne’s voice was so light, so lilting, she seemed to be no more threatening than a child, but I knew better. I’d heard the stories my father had told of her insanity, of her cruelty. She was a mad queen in every sense of the word, and he’d put her aside for more than one reason.
“Thank you, my queen,” I muttered.
“Oh, call me mother, Cashel. After all, I’m the only parent you have left.”
I couldn’t do it. My mouth wouldn’t form the word. Instead, I nodded, and the two of us left my prison behind. We walked down the long driveway, her in no rush, and me unable to do much more than trudge along without falling from the absolute weakness of starvation. When we finally reached the gate, I audibly sighed at the sight of the sleek black Land Rover idling and ready for us.
“Do you have stores of blood
in the car?” I asked.
She smiled and shook her head. “No. I have something much better.”
As soon as the door opened I was assaulted with the scent of fresh blood. A woman sat in the back seat, her hair piled high on her head, long graceful throat exposed. My entire body ached with desire to feed from her, but there was no way I’d be able to stop.
“Go ahead, I brought her for you.” Anne’s sugary sweet voice made me ill.
“I’ll kill her.”
“That’s not a problem. Gigi’s life is of no consequence.”
Swallowing hard, I took a slow breath and slid into the back of the car. I hadn’t wanted to feed from anyone but Olivia since she and I crossed that bridge. I didn’t know if I would truly be able to put my lips on another.
Gigi stared at me, her wide, doe eyes filled with excitement. Then, she spoke, soft French rolling off her tongue in a simple and sweet voice. “Take what you need. I am ready.”
I responded in her native language, desperate to make sure she understood that what I needed might mean ending her life. She only nodded.
“Gigi knows if she makes this sacrifice, I’ll reward her in the end.” Anne sounded almost bored with my hesitation. “Or would you rather continue wasting away?”
The door shut, and I heard the crunch of gravel under Anne’s feet. Then the coppery tang of blood overwhelmed everything else. Twisting my frame back to focus on Gigi, I fought back a groan of want when I saw the line of crimson trailing down her perfectly poised throat. She’d cut herself, deep enough it wouldn’t stop bleeding anytime soon.
“Take,” she whispered in English.
Olivia flashed in my mind, her taste, her softness, her scent, but I pushed aside the memory of the woman I loved in order to do what needed to be done. I licked the blood clean before sinking my fangs into Gigi’s neck. I didn’t make it feel good. I couldn’t. I’d never bring another woman pleasure again with my bite or my body. The only one for me was Olivia.
Blackthorne Manor was dark and empty when we walked inside, the echoes of my past sitting like ghosts in the walls. I didn’t sense any of my siblings. Honestly, I had no idea what to expect from Lucas after his rare display of loyalty. Had he run to avoid being punished by the council?