by Ruby Raine
"Am I an ass to assume it was about me?" he retorted. "Oh, no, wait." Riley smirked and shook his head. "It wasn't me. It was Melinda, right?"
Annie didn't need to reply to confirm it was true.
"He's not in his right mind," she reminded.
"His controlled mind, you mean. He's actually in his honest mind."
"I suppose that's one way to look at it."
"So, what did he say?"
Annie sighed. "Honest mind or how he really feels or not, just remember it doesn't change anything in real life."
"Jesus, that bad?"
Annie deflated, but held her tongue.
Riley's jaw tightened. Perhaps this was a good thing though, just break open the wound, pour in some salt, and see what the vampire was really thinking. His guess—William threatened to kill Riley if he ever touched Melinda again. Seemed like it's what the vampire would be thinking.
"Just tell me, Annie. I'm sure it's nothing I don't already know or haven't heard. William and I have talked about this subject in far more depth than I ever wanted to."
"Very well. It's your choice. He said—Melinda Howard's heart belongs to me. She'll never truly love another." Annie paused and pursed her lips. "I am hers through death. She is my life. When hers ends, so does mine."
Riley chuffed out a bitterly sarcastic breath. "That's pretty fucking to the point. So, detox is more like a truth serum?"
"You asked me to tell you. But I would remind you that it doesn't matter what he says, Riley. I know William as well as I know myself. He will never take a human as a life partner. He'd rather die than..." those words fell from her lips. Riley didn't hear it, too wrapped up in his own misery.
"I already know he loves her." But hearing it again still sucked, and knifed at the ache in his chest. "And he can deny it all he wants, but I'm starting to think I don't really have much chance at all."
Annie sucked in like some light bulb popped in her brain. She spun and peered into the cell at William.
"Oh my God."
"What? Did he add he'll end my life if I ever touch her again, to the mix, too?"
"No, that's not—shit."
"What then?"
She spun and fixed her gaze on Riley.
"I know what the big secret is. I know what he and Jean are keeping from me."
"For real?"
"I think William is speaking literally, about ending his life. When the woman he loves dies, he plans to die too."
"That's kind of romantically morbid."
"I think this is the big secret though. I think he must've told Jean his intentions and that's why she's been acting funny. And she would not want to tell me this."
"That's a big ass secret." Riley was all kinds of confused. Damn, he really wished he could just hate the vampire. It would make things so much easier.
Annie plunked down in a chair, uncharacteristically unbalanced.
"It makes sense. Sick sense. I wondered why he suddenly signed Sorcier over to Jean. He talked about it years ago, but she refused. But she accepted it this time."
Riley was stuck between bitterness for himself, and empathy for his new friend. He felt like he was losing any chance at a possible future with Melinda with each passing minute, but Annie was just finding out the man she considered family, a father almost, wanted to die. It was a suckfest of a reality either way.
"William doesn’t mean to come back to Sorcier." And Annie was heartbroken over it.
"If he really loves Melinda that much..." Riley trailed off, because what point was there to discussing it. It wasn't a question any longer, but a painful understanding.
Annie was so blown over by William's intentions she'd forgotten this was probably like shoving a hot poker into Riley's heart.
"Oh, Riley, I—" he held up his hand to stop her.
"I already knew all of this. I just didn't want to believe it was so—decided. Not that he wanted to die with her, just that he loved her."
"I'm still sorry. My own shock made me not think."
"It doesn't change the truth though. Maybe it's high time for a dose of reality."
"You haven't spoken much about her," Annie prodded gently. "I have to admit, I'm rather curious to meet the woman so adored by two great men."
Riley tried to make light. "Let's hope she's not into chicks too. We don't need even more competition."
"Oh, you're hilarious. But I wouldn't even dream of it. What's she like though?"
He shivered out a breath. "Smart. Stubborn. Beautiful. Vulnerable. There's not much to tell really. I met a great woman I saw a potential future with. And in some other set of circumstances I think we'd be incredible together. But then I was cursed, and I hurt her. And I tortured the vampire she's in love with in front of her. And I didn't just hurt her, I was—cruel. So fucking cruel. In a way I promised never to be with her because she'd already been hurt before. And this thing with William always got in the way. Is still getting in the way."
"Does she love him?"
"Yes." Not even hard to answer because it was true. "She loves—loved—both of us. It really came down to William being unavailable. But if I am honest, no matter how hard it is to admit it, if she was forced to choose, I don't think I'd win. It always comes back to William." The vampire who could pretend it was possible to live out his life watching Melinda love someone else, but Riley was beginning to think they were all fooling themselves. She was at the forefront of the vampire's mind, even stuck inside this bad trip.
And perhaps Melinda would change her mind, some day. But today it seemed the most distant of possibilities that she and Riley had any chance. So why had his feeling brought him to her? Was it just because she'd needed him? Had he fixed something? Only to break it later.
His lack of proper rest wasn’t helping his mood or confidence either.
Riley groaned and let his head lower into his hands.
"Maybe you should get some rest," suggested Annie. "I can take watch for a couple of hours. I don't mind."
"Maybe. Yeah. The whole Melinda issue set aside, what about William? I mean, if you're right and he means to kill himself, why even bother going through this hell?"
"You want the truth?"
He nodded.
"Because he means to stick around while she's alive, to make sure she has the best life possible. He will protect her with his life. Even if it means watching her love someone else. But to live without her in this world—vampires in love are not good at surviving alone. Once we give into true love it breaks a vampire to live without it. It would be a literal hell on earth for him. Which just makes it all so much harder and more complicated."
"Why is that?"
"Because I feel selfish for wanting him to stick around. I don't want him to die because I love him too. Not the same as romantic love, obviously. But if he's miserable and living in hell, how can I ask that of him? To live, for me?"
"Is there any way to change his mind? To help him?"
"That is quite concerned of you, considering."
"I don't hate him," Riley stated, although with gritted teeth. "Shit. I even kind of like the guy."
"Even though he's stolen what you love?"
"Can't steal what was already yours. My timing was just—bad. We can't help who we love, you know? I want to be furious about it. But after everything we all went through, I don't have it in me. And I'd rather see her happy, over stuck in a relationship that's like a band aid that will never quite fix the problem."
"That's some serious adulting, Riley Deane. Sucks ass, huh?"
"Sucks majorly hardcore. I'd much rather be a selfish asshole and try to win her back." He pushed at his chest. Ache or a feeling coming on? He wasn't sure. "I'm not going to be able to sleep, but I could use some air. Or a bottle of tequila. You sure you don't mind?"
"Not at all. I could use some thinking time myself," Annie admitted. This theory of William's impending demise was a depressing thought and she needed to figure out how to broach the subject with Jean, or
William. He wasn't her father. But he'd sired her and she'd come to think of him as family. A dear friend. A mentor, even a father in a way. Especially when she was first turned and he did not abandon her like his own sire had done.
She looked up to an empty hallway. Riley's shadow disappearing up the stairs. Poor guy. He'd had a tough go of it. Human life. Vampire life. Both had its flaws. Neither was perfect.
Annie wondered what it was like to love someone so much that you'd rather die than live without them. She wondered if she'd ever meet that kind of woman, or if she even existed. In some ways, she wanted it. But if love just morphed into what William was becoming, she kind of hoped she never met that woman of her dreams. Unless she was an immortal, like herself. That would make it easier.
And that was the problem right there. William was in love with a human, not a vampire, and he would not turn her. Annie wondered if there were any conditions in which he would change his mind? Or if this woman, Melinda, was for or against such an idea. It was one of many things to ponder.
RILEY AIMED HIMSELF into the kitchen and found a bottle of tequila and downed two quick shots, breathing out the burn. He stepped out onto the balcony and sucked down another swallow. He lifted his gaze and peered overhead at the hazy moonlight. He let out a shudder, not because it was cold. It was downright hot, sticky, and humid in Sorcier. It was the thing riding the shudder. This wave of change. Like when you wake up to an early morning chill in late summer and can feel autumn trying to win. The edge of a new season vying for control.
Was it his gift? His feeling, telling him he needed to go somewhere? That there was something he needed to fix?
There was no sense of extreme urgency though. Not the usual, go here and go now.
Perhaps it was just exhaustion playing tricks on his mind.
Perhaps the ache in his chest was him accepting the truth.
In a different reality, he and Melinda would be perfect together. But in this one, there was always going to be this thing—William—between them. And Riley could not live, or love like that. Not being a runner up, because he refused to spend his life always questioning. Always knowing she loved William more, or in a way she'd never love him.
The reality of it hurt.
But living a lie, or a half-truth, would hurt much, much more.
There could never be a him and Melinda, because there would always, in some way or another, be a William and Melinda. If William was still alive, Riley didn't have a chance.
But this thing riding his nerves, aching in his chest... yes, part of it was the reality and the hurt. But there was something else riding along too. His feeling had never worked like this before. Then again, he'd never known how to heal someone from a bullet wound either. And yet, he'd saved that young woman who'd been shot while vacationing in the Quarter. His gift had somehow shown him how to save her.
Magical gifts changed.
And his was sending him a clear warning. A clear picture.
No matter how hard it might be, he needed to go home.
He needed to return to The Demon Isle.
MELINDA SLID BACK INTO bed after downing a glass of icy water from waking up overheated. She'd kicked off the sheets in the heat of the night and they'd fallen onto Finn. He'd snorted and shook them off, and they were in a pile on the floor now.
Finn, as usual now, took up the nightly charge as her personal guard Gargoyle, snuggling up on the floor beside her bed. She'd even gone out and purchased the largest oversized dog bed she could find, and though he barely fit onto it, he'd adopted it as his own in minutes.
He whined and flashed her his giant pit-bull sized grin and she lifted herself and pet his head before getting herself comfy in bed again. Only, now that she'd been up, her brain had awakened and refused to go back into sleep mode.
Finn whined again when she huffed and shifted, unable to get comfortable.
Damn summer nights. Wouldn't be so bad if the humidity would settle the hell down.
Her mind wandered to the upcoming mock battle that was in the works. Lizzy and Mathew Bishop—Guardian, and old friend of Lizzy's—had turned the backyard of the Howard Mansion into a mock battle ground. In which they could run drills and learn new skills and have mock battles against each other. And one day soon, they were planning an all-out, two-sided mock battle to test their skills and work on new moves.
Because, unfortunately, war would return to The Demon Isle and none of them wanted to be unprepared for that eventuality.
It was a strange thing though, because in the days of, well, months ago, before this summer, Melinda would never have dreamed of participating in such a thing. But after the events of the previous months, and wanting her revenge on the Feyk, mainly Sir Tinkham Sickereaux, she was eager to learn everything she could and become the best witch she could. Especially since the Feyk were not giving up their strike for the Power Source.
But it wasn't just the mock battle weighing on her mind.
She was worried about her brother Charlie, and him not losing his last marble as the first full moon approached—Lizzy Deane's first full moon, which meant her transition as a werewolf would be complete. The woman was having a blast trying out her new abilities, which of course, had Charlie on complete edge. They thought he'd been a worrier before! Now that he'd taken a mate, he was reaching never before seen levels of freaking out. He needed a serious vacation—erm—worryectomy. Stat!
Although, the two of them working together was like magic that made itself. They were a great team, when Charlie managed to control his angst at all the things he had no control over.
Michael participated, albeit in a more and more withdrawn fashion. Not hearing from Emily was ripping him apart. She'd only contacted him the one time, to let him know she was okay. And that was all. He was starting to join the Charlie ranks in the keeping himself busy department. He and Lucas had also been building the new kitchen in the basement and it was done enough to use. It suited their potion making and storage needs far better than keeping it in the kitchen in the main house. On Lucas' part, Melinda was keenly aware he was also keeping himself busy, and if at all possible, away from practicing magic, and away from Mathew.
Which had failed tonight as they'd both taken a shift to guard White Pines and the Power Source. Lucas had been willing, but was still so unsure about his magical abilities he hadn't dared do it alone, and since Mathew didn't require sleep... well, Melinda imagined their watch was going just swimmingly. She let out a low, sarcastic chuckle.
Whatever had happened between those men, it was not something easily repaired. Still, it was impossible to miss the longing stares, the regretful weak smiles, the tension... but Melinda was doing her best to stay out of it. However, if they didn't at least talk something out soon, she was going to lock them in a room and make them do it so they could at least be friends, and not tiptoe around each other every minute of the day or night.
Especially since it seemed Mathew would be sticking around for a time.
There had been no additional contact from Riley. No messages that he was coming back to the Isle. And no one had a clue where William was, other than they did now know it was Jack Howard, their own father, who asked him to leave. And upsetting as the whole experience had been, Melinda was starting to understand why he'd requested such a thing.
These last few weeks with William away had been eye-opening. And had them working together in a way they'd never done before. But it didn't mean they were whole, or healed, or moving on even. They were doing their best to get through each day, but so much of their lives still felt unfinished and incomplete, and always a step behind trying to catch up.
Well, Charlie was moving forward, albeit stubbornly. But as soon as Lizzy was fully transitioned, Melinda would bet babies would be coming along sooner than later. That would really change things up around here.
Melinda's own unsettledness over her man problems had been pushed aside by her focus on the Feyk, and the Power Source, and the inevitable future battle
to come. But her man troubles never stayed buried for long and she wished more than anything to just hear William's voice. To hear him tell her that he was okay. And maybe, hopefully, sooner than later, have him come home.
And as much as she thought about Riley, and was ready to face him, and had completely forgiven him, and knew that Lucas and Lizzy were quietly worrying about him too, he wasn't the last thought in her mind before she went to sleep, or the first thought when she awakened. It was always William.
Did that mean she loved him more than Riley?
Or differently so?
Or? Or what?
She was exhausted, having this same conversation with herself. And had concluded that the best thing right now was to focus on the day to day and not worry about the future too much. At least the man troubles part. It had become abundantly clear that what she needed was to learn to stand on her own two feet before she'd have anything of true value to offer anyone else.
It sucked when old clichés were proven true. But she really did need to learn to love herself before she could share that love with anyone else. She'd spent years depending on others to take care of her problems, rather than face them herself. That had to end.
So, in the end, perhaps it was a good thing that the two objects of her affections were off the Isle. It would give her the chance to gain more confidence in herself.
It was as these thoughts meandered around her mind, and as she listened to the soft, fluttering snore of Finn down on his bed, that her mind rested and fell into sleep again. And that's when it happened... when she slid into a vision.
At least, so she thought. And dang it! Didn't she just have normal old visions of people dying anymore? Every time now it was like some new mystery. Some new way of seeing things. This was not the typical, watch like an observer from afar, type dream vision. And regrettably, whenever her dream visions veered off the normal course, it always ended badly.