She blinked back hot tears.
“I’ll be your child’s father…if you’ll have me.”
From another room, Erik shouted, “Do it! That man has said more to you than he’s ever said to any of us. I think that’s proof enough that he likes you.”
She clamped her hands over her mouth, suddenly aware of everything she’d ever said within the cabin. Were the walls really so thin that everyone could hear her every word?
“Dragon hearing.” Dillon tapped his ear.
“Does that mean…” She couldn’t finish the sentence.
Gavin had undoubtedly heard her mention that she was pregnant. She’d been trying to hide it from the other dragon men this whole time, and they already knew.
“He’s going to kick me out,” she whispered.
“What? Who?” Evangeline stomped into the hall, like she wanted to throw down immediately.
“Gavin. He must already know I’m pregnant. He’s probably waiting for me to move out on my own. If I don’t…he’s going to kick me out.” Isabella hated the crack in her voice.
She hated the desperation that overcame her so quickly. Inescapable, the emotion pulled her into darkness. She had the money for a security deposit and a few apartments picked out, but she realized that she didn’t want to leave. This cabin had become her home. She felt her roots here.
No other home would be as happy to her.
“Maybe it’s for the best,” Isabella whispered. “I shouldn’t raise a baby around a bunch of men, let alone dragon men. I never should have hoped to stay.”
Everyone heard the front door open and slam. They grew quiet as footsteps approached. Gavin paused at the end of the hall, one brow raised.
“What are you all talking about?” Gavin asked.
Words caught in Isabella’s throat. Dillon took her hand and squeezed. Gavin’s gaze narrowed on their connected hands. He lowered his brow and shrugged before heading in another direction.
Isabella wondered if he’d heard everything they’d said and had made so much noise to warn them of his approach. Then again, she wasn’t sure if Gavin would really be so kind as to pretend that he hadn’t heard her.
It would have been nice of him, though, to go on pretending that he knew nothing about her pregnancy so she could act as though she had more time here. What would have been nicer was a warm welcome and an invitation to stay, but that might have been beyond Gavin’s capabilities. He wasn’t the most open man.
Even Casey was more approachable, and Casey always wore a sour expression. Isabella understood why Nellie kept running from Gavin.
“Hey!” Gavin shouted from the kitchen. He reappeared at the end of the hall.
Isabella flinched, thinking he would yell at her for the dishes still gathered in the sink.
He flung his hand toward Isabella and Evangeline. “Why won’t your witch friend answer my calls? She keeps sending all my damn gifts back, too. What is her problem?”
Both of Isabella’s brows arched. She and Evangeline shared a look. Gavin had been sending Nellie gifts? Nellie hadn’t mentioned any of this to them. That seemed like a pretty important detail to share with your best friends.
Evangeline cocked her hip and asked, “How did your encounter with her go last week?”
Gavin scowled at her. Smoke poured from his nose, almost cartoonishly conveying his indignation. Whatever had happened between Gavin and Nellie clearly hadn’t gone in his favor.
“You have to be careful with that one,” Dillon said. “One of these days, she’s going to turn your ass into a rabbit and keep you as a pet.”
Isabella nodded. “How do you think I came by Persimmon?”
This time, both Dillon and Gavin wore alarmed expressions. Evangeline bent over double, unable to stop laughing. Isabella found herself chuckling at her own joke, too.
The front door opened again.
“Looks like everyone is home early,” Erik shouted out of sight.
“Eat dirt and choke on it,” Casey said, his tone light as if he’d tossed out a casual greeting.
“Hey babe!” Evangeline bounced past Gavin and threw her arms around Casey’s neck, rising onto the tiptoes of her leather boots for a kiss.
“Good,” Gavin said. “Because I’m going to call our first ever clan meeting. And before you get the chance to run away, that means you too, Isabella.”
She froze. Fear sparked through her like electricity. Thoughts of what she’d done wrong tumbled through her until only one answer came up. Gavin was about to kick her out.
* * *
Isabella nervously fiddled with the hem of her shirt. She didn’t want to leave yet. This place had become a home to her, which was an all-new sensation.
Gavin blew out a breath, his upper lip curling while he glared at the floor. Isabella thought he would pin her with his gaze when he lifted his head, but he kept glowering at the floor.
“Y’all need to stop finding mates,” he said, the words stilted. If he was trying to say it jokingly, it fell flat.
“Not within our control,” Evangeline stated, her arms crossed over her chest.
Gavin nodded. “I understand. Having you and Isabella around makes this hard. I thought I would have a group of misfits to protect, not…whatever this is. Seeing Casey and Dillon happy for once means I’m going to have to fight even harder.”
“Good,” Casey said. He got to his feet. “It’s about damn time you found your will to fight again.”
“I wish you wouldn’t make me do shit I don’t want to do!” Gavin howled.
“Get over yourself. I didn’t want to come out here to track your dumb ass down, but I did it and now here we are. What are you going to do about it?” Casey threw his arms wide in challenge.
Gavin growled, but didn’t leap at Casey. “I’m going to teach my father a lesson.”
Erik cupped his hands around his mouth and hooted. Dillon pumped his fist in the air, but Gavin’s expression still held a touch of sadness. Isabella watched him take in his family, studying face after face. She’d always thought Gavin cold and aloof, but she could tell now that he truly cared about every person in the room.
Including her.
“My father isn’t happy about our clan situation. He’s going to try to whittle us down to nothing with attack after attack.” Smoke curled in the air around Gavin. “His visit was unexpected. He’s going to try to be even more unpredictable from here on out. Someone is going to have to be with Evangeline and Isabella at all times.”
Evangeline shot to her feet. “Change me. Do it sooner rather than later. I can reschedule all my appointments.”
Isabella stared blankly at her friend. Had Evangeline just asked to be turned into a dragon? Isabella couldn’t believe her own ears. Surely, she’d misheard.
Gavin shook his head. “We can’t risk changing you until Daphne arrives. Even then, we’re going to have to be on alert because Daphne is still one of Zander’s dragons.”
Casey shot to his feet. Isabella could feel the tension rising in the room, as if the air had suddenly gotten thicker. She sucked in a deep breath to remind herself that it was all in her head. The air couldn’t change like that.
But it could get hotter. Sweat dripped down her spine as the room heated.
“Are you saying you don’t trust Daphne?” Casey growled.
Gavin met Casey’s challenging gaze without flinching. “I’m saying she belongs to my father right now. I’m not going to blame her if she doesn’t want to leave her current clan. My father is going to use that against her. He could make her report to him while she’s here.”
Casey stormed out of the room. The sound of a door slamming made Isabella startle. Evangeline heaved a sigh and ran her hand through her hair until she realized she still had her beanie on. She and Isabella looked at one another, as if to silently ask what they’d gotten themselves into.
Yet, as they took each other in, Isabella knew neither would go anywhere. Evangeline had already made the decision to
change into one of them, into a dragon. Once the initial shock of the news faded, Isabella realized that it made sense. If any of them would make a good dragon woman, it would be Evangeline. She had spunk and her own kind of fire.
Evangeline took a step, probably to chase after her mate, but Gavin asked her to stay a moment longer.
“Do you think we can count on your witch to help us?” He didn’t sound like a general anymore. Instead, his tone was apprehensive. Almost…hopeful.
Nellie had intervened on the dragons’ behalf once now. Isabella liked to think that this mountain town was Nellie’s home, and that she would protect it even if it meant siding with the dragon men.
Instead, Evangeline said, “You’re going to have to ask her that yourself.”
Gavin snarled. When he turned to Isabella, the same question clearly on his mind, she shrugged.
“The only help I can offer is my own,” she said. “I know that doesn’t mean anything to people like yourselves. I can’t become a dragon or work any magic, but I…I’ll find something helpful to do with myself.”
Dillon took her hand in his and squeezed it.
“You should leave,” Gavin said.
Her heart plummeted to the floor. There it was. That was the declaration she’d been dreading.
“Not only are you human, but you’re pregnant,” Gavin said. “You should be far, far away from here when the shit hits the fan. That’s the only way Dillon will be able to focus.”
Isabella had money, and she’d found a few decent studio apartments. She only needed to call the landlords and discuss leasing options, so she could figure out which was the best fit. The cabin had become her home, though. She couldn’t imagine herself anywhere else.
Without saying anything, she stood and headed to her room. The conversation continued without her. The war meeting had to go on, of course.
Evangeline passed her and headed to wherever Casey had gone. Isabella was on her own.
She regarded her bedroom. It was larger than any room she’d ever had to herself before. Her plants had flourished here, growing lush. Persimmon lounged in a strip of sunlight that happened to fall over her cage.
With the door closed behind her, Isabella could pretend that she didn’t have to leave. She could lie down and stay in her own private oasis forever. That was, until a knock sounded behind her, and the door creaked open.
Dillon stepped inside.
“Is Gavin preaching to an audience of one now?” she asked from her bed.
“He’s having a hard time keeping the audience in check now. It’s a riot out there,” Dillon said, a clear attempt at a joke.
She didn’t feel like laughing, though. Her chest felt as though it’d been hollowed out. Gavin had stuck his claws in her heart and scooped out every small success she’d claimed for herself.
“I love it here,” she said, her voice small. “This isn’t my house, but I feel like it is. For once, I found somewhere I could be happy. Now Gavin wants to kick me out. I knew this would happen, but…”
Dillon crawled onto the bed beside her. He gathered her close to his chest and wrapped himself around her. His big arms were heavy yet comforting around her middle.
“Home is where you’re happy,” he whispered. “I think this was the first time you’ve been happy, so now it feels like you’ll lose that joy if you leave.”
She didn’t say anything. His words bounced around the inside of her skull. She tried to hold onto them. She knew they were more than empty reassurances. Dillon only spoke when he wanted to be heard. He didn’t go off just to be the loudest like Erik or Evangeline.
“I don’t know if I’ll be happy anywhere else,” she confessed. “I like being surrounded by life, by everyone’s loud sounds and laughter. When I find my own place, it’s just going to be me. Well, just me until the baby arrives.”
Dillon nipped her shoulder. “I will go anywhere with you.”
Her heart skipped a beat, but she reminded herself that Gavin had told her to leave so Dillon wouldn’t be distracted. She couldn’t take Dillon away from his family. It was only her that had to leave. Soon, Evangeline would be useful. She would be able to fight alongside her mate. And Nellie always had her own power.
Only Isabella had ever been weak. Soft and useless, Isabella was nothing more than a liability to the dragon men.
She had to drive Dillon away. If she didn’t, he would follow her when he was supposed to be with his clan. She swallowed and steeled herself because she truly never wanted this to end, even if the world had other plans for them. Had it not been for this war between Gavin and his father, Isabella would have begged Dillon to be her baby’s father.
She wriggled out of his comfortable embrace. “I can’t stand it when you hold me like that.”
The lie soured on her tongue. She hated herself for what she was saying, and yet she couldn’t stop. Dillon needed to focus on his clan.
Gavin was right. She distracted Dillon, and that had to come to an end. Even if it meant breaking her own heart.
“You…you terrify me, sometimes.” She wrapped her arms around her middle, hating the way her stomach churned. She couldn’t lift her eyes from her bedspread, even when the yellow fabric began to turn grey and lifeless to her. “I can’t begin to tell you how many times I’ve panicked when you tried to hold me. I just…I can’t…This isn’t going to work.”
This was never the way she wanted to tell Dillon about her panicked reactions to his protective nature. By the time she finished, he would surely hate her. He would never have to think about her again.
She threw her feet to the floor. “Give Evangeline the spa day that you booked. She’s going to need it if she’s going to become a dragon.”
Tears burned her eyes and seared her cheeks as they spilled down her face. She kept her back to him, so he couldn’t see the truth.
He sat up. She waited for him to say something, anything. Somehow, it hurt more to watch him get up and walk away. He didn’t fight to get the truth out of her. He didn’t even try.
He just left.
29
Not a moment went by that Isabella didn’t think of Dillon.
It’d been three days since she pushed him away. She hadn’t seen him once in those three days, and that was not for a lack of trying. She searched high and low for him. At night, she pressed her ear to the wall and tried to listen for the sounds of his snoring in the next room.
Nothing.
The whole cabin seemed hollow. Gavin came and went silently. Erik had taken to sleeping until three in the afternoon and then vanishing. Casey and Evangeline had lives of their own away from the cabin.
Isabella should have thrown herself into writing a new series, but her chest ached. She could barely make herself get out her laptop. She’d gotten a taste of the love like in her stories and then thrown it away. The idea of writing it now sickened her.
She glanced around her room. Everything had gone back into boxes. She felt adrift again, just like when she’d first left Tommy. A bit of her future had become clear while living in the cabin. In the space of one afternoon, she’d shattered that future.
Wrapping her arms around her middle, she apologized to her baby.
Isabella stood up, suddenly annoyed. She would fix this. There had to be a way. She couldn’t let the wills of others keep dictating her life. She’d bent to Gavin and what he wanted, but she knew in her heart that she’d taken it too far.
She needed Dillon back. These three days without him had left a dark spot on her soul that she would never be rid of until she fixed what she’d broken.
How she was going to do that…she didn’t quite know.
It had to start with an apology. That was the only thing she really knew for sure. So long as she could clear the air between them and make Dillon understand that he wasn’t to blame for her panic, then she would be able to rest easy.
She told herself this, though she didn’t completely believe it. She didn’t just want forgiveness. For a
while, she’d imagined a future with Dillon. Even if they’d only been daydreams, she still yearned for those visions. She wanted to see him every day, to watch him hold their child for the first time and see the love in his eyes.
She would have none of that if she couldn’t take the first step, though.
* * *
Dillon flew above the clouds. He’d been warned to stay out of sight of the town, but he’d become restless since Isabella’s confession. With nowhere to direct his energy, he’d taken to the sky. The roaring winds in his ears and the seemingly infinite space beneath him calmed him, but only by a fraction.
His beast still wanted to roar with frustration. To the beast, Isabella would always be their mate. Yet, even their mate lived in fear of him.
He’d thought he could be himself around her, but he’d been wrong. She couldn’t see who Dillon truly was, only the monster his genetics had made him out to be. How had she kept from screaming every time he touched her? How had she felt when he brought her to climax?
Had it all been a lie?
He wanted to scream, to break something, to watch the mountain crumble under the force of his rage. Now, he understood how Gavin might have felt when Tiffany left him. Dillon knew why Gavin had taken off. He debated it for a short while, but this small clan still needed him.
Dillon would never abandon them. He would remain loyal to the end of his days, even if it meant giving them everything and getting nothing in return. That was his curse. Dillon would remain empty and lonely for the rest of his days.
He dipped his wing through a cloud and felt it drag against him. The cool moisture tried to relieve the heat growing in his chest, but it wasn’t enough. Not even a cloud could douse his fire. It hadn’t stopped burning since the day Isabella confessed her fear to him.
What could he do? Release the fire onto the mountain? Someone would notice. A wildfire would break out. Dillon didn’t want to become any more of a problem than he already was. The clan needed him. He had to behave.
Rogue Dragons Series: Box Set Books 1-5 Page 24