But I have to be careful not to fuck things up, especially because after the story she told me, I know that she’s soft and sensitive. She was crying because she hurt someone, for fuck’s sake, so I can only imagine how easy it would be to hurt her.
I don’t know if I’m completely over my rebound phase, so I need to protect her and myself, in case this turns out to be just physical chemistry. I can see how fucking amazing Kaya is, her tremendous potential of being someone important in my life but the truth is that we barely know each other and we might not be as compatible as I hope. There are also Chase and Reid to consider: they’re really fucking weird when it comes to their stepsister. They treat her like a pest but I know they’d kick my ass if I messed up and ended up hurting her by being careless. Chase said that much, in his twisted, super intense way.
So I answer her question with a low chuckle, delighted that she liked kissing me as much as I liked kissing her, my mind going a million miles per hour, trying to figure this out.
“No, sweet thing. I’ve never been to Star Cove until I arrived yesterday with my friends.”
She nods, realizing that there’s no chance of me being her mystery guy.
“I ... ok. I needed to make sure. Because kissing you was ...”
I nod, tracing her bottom lip with my thumb, dying to kiss her again but not daring until we’ve talked about it.
I know how she feels about her mystery guy, how she couldn’t forget him no matter what and I feel a bit proud of myself for maybe having a chance of being the one who’ll help her get over it.
And maybe Kaya could be the one to help me get over my own heartache. If I tell her how I feel, what a mess my heart has been lately, I know she’ll understand.
So I open up and tell her how Georgia was the first girl I thought I was in love with and how she was two timing me the whole time. “She was sleeping with someone else and he didn’t know about me either. We both thought that we had something serious with her until one day, I saw him dropping her back to her dorm after a date and—” I shake my head, still tasting the bitterness of my ex’s betrayal.
The only thing I don’t reveal is that the other guy is Parker, the one Georgia was cheating with.
Parker was as unaware of the situation as I was and as shocked as I was about her seeing both of us at the same time. We could’ve understood it at first, but she had kept up both relationships for six months. When we confronted her something weird happened; the infamous threesome.
Don’t ask me how or why, emotions were running high, she said she liked us both and ... it happened. Weirdly enough, Parker and I weren’t mad at each other and not as mad at her as we thought we would be. So that night, as we walked back to the off-campus house we share with Chase and Reid, we thought that maybe she didn’t have to choose one of us. That we both understood why she loved the other. Shit, I love Parker and I know the dude is equally fond of me. Not in a sexual way, we don’t swing that way but we’re brothers. But Georgia was actually horrified when we told her, she said that that she couldn’t date us both, she hadn’t known how to choose but our idea turned her off so much that she dumped us both, calling us freaks and saying that the threesome was a mistake.
I tell her the story but I keep Parker’s name out and the last part of it out, the fact that I was ok with sharing my girlfriend with one of my best friends. I don’t want her to think that I’m a pervert like my ex did.
Her green eyes are intense and she squeezes my hand in hers in a comforting gesture.
“I’m sorry you got hurt.”
I tuck a strand of her dark brown hair behind her ear, trying to resist kissing her again.
“I’m trying to get over it, Kaya. I really am, but I honestly don’t know how far I’ve gotten. And I like you, I just don’t—”
She averts her gaze, looking at a spot on the sand.
Shit, shit, shit! This isn’t going how I was hoping.
“You don’t want to kiss me again? You think that I’m a silly little girl, like my stepbrothers do?”
I shake my head. “Hell no, I just—”
Her eyes widen and her voice breaks a little when she says: “Am I a bad kisser like Marc? You can tell me if—”
She couldn’t be farther from the truth and I silence her with another kiss. This time I’m a little more forceful, parting her lips with my tongue and showing her how wrong she is by claiming her mouth, tasting every corner of it.
“Does this answer your question?”
She shakes her head, clearly confused and the fuck if I’m not a hot mess myself right now. But I want to kiss her again, I want to spend the whole fucking summer kissing her, so I tell her what I’m thinking. “Look, I don’t want to hurt you. You can’t be my rebound, Kaya. I like you too much and you’re my best friends’ sister. And honestly, I don’t want to get hurt by you either. I don’t want you to wake up one day and feel that it’s too much, like you did with that Marc guy, or feel that after all, you still think about your mystery guy and I don’t measure up. So I’m thinking, how about we make a deal?”
She tilts her head to the side in the cutest possible way, making me want to flatten her down on the sand and kiss her until both our lips fall off.
“We can kiss, we can get to know each other. But we keep it casual, like a friendly arrangement. We don’t need to put a label on it and—” She nods and immediately asks: “Can we keep it a secret? I don’t want to have to explain anything to my parents. Especially since you’re living with us for the summer. They might get funny about it. Plus Chase hates me so much that he’d probably get mad and try to change your mind anyway. I would rather not have that confrontation. I also don’t want Marc to know. He was so hurt and when he asked if there was someone else, I lied because I didn’t want to tell him about mystery guy but I don’t want him to think that I was seeing you behind his back.”
It makes sense, so I agree. “Let’s keep this drama free and have some fun together, what do you say? I only ask you for one favor: if at any point you feel like you don’t want to do it anymore or you like someone else, please be honest. Because I’m not going to chase after other girls while I’m hanging out with you.” She nods. “Deal! I’ll help you get over your ex and you’ll help me get over my past.”
We seal the deal with another kiss and then I force myself to stop and walk back toward the house with Kaya’s hand in mine.
The sky has that grey light that takes over when the darkness of the night prepares to recede in favor of daylight and as we arrive back at the house, we find that the party is long over.
The lights are all off as we enter the house from the backyard and cross the empty living room on our way to our respective rooms.
I can’t help but touch my lips to hers one last time in front of her bedroom in the deserted corridor. I double check that all the other doors are closed before I wink and smile at her, walking back to my room.
My summer has just become a hell of a lot more exciting.
9.
Office Tour
Kaya
I WAKE UP THE MORNING after with so many emotions bottled up inside me that I almost decide to go for a run, to somehow calm down my erratic heart that’s beating in my chest so fast ...
And now, for those who know me, you know how only the notion of me going for a run is ridiculous to say the least. Yeah, I keep in shape by dancing and walking and cycling everywhere but I’m not exactly a lover of running or any workouts in general.
I’m so lazy, I think stretching and trying to untangle my bare legs from the bedsheets but feeling still caught in that daze that keeps me suspended between sleep and wake.
I can still feel Bryce’s lips on mine and I smile at the thought that he’s asleep a few doors away from me.
I can’t believe that I finally found someone whose kiss makes me feel like my mystery guy did. And he wants to kiss me more, I think with a smile, considering at the same time the fact that he’ll be at Bridgeport U too.
I wince and stop to wonder why my inner monologue is always more of a dialogue and the main voice is always Nic’s. And I sigh at the thought that she’d be really excited about the deal I made with Bryce but I can’t tell her because we promised each other that we’d keep it a secret.
I know that Nic wouldn’t tell anyone but maybe it’s better to wait, to enjoy whatever this is for a bit without having to fend the bajillion questions I’m sure she’ll have.
And yes, I need to hold my horses because Bryce made it clear that he wants something light and uncomplicated, so it might be that by the time school starts, he won’t be interested in continuing whatever we’ll be doing. So maybe this really has an expiration date.
So it would be good to take this one day at a time, enjoying spending time with Bryce, maybe exploring stuff that I’ve never done before.
I feel my heart pick up its pace at the thought of all the things I’ve never done with a guy, which is everything but kissing.
I’m not a prude or that naive, it’s just that I respect myself too much to not listen to my own body at the very least. If until last night I’d never found anyone I even remotely enjoyed kissing, why should have I gone any further?
So it’s not that I lacked the curiosity or the desire to do more, I just wanted to find someone that felt right to do that stuff with. And by right, I don’t necessarily mean being in love but at least feeling enough attraction for it to feel right.
Bryce made me feel the same excitement I felt every time Chase or Reid ever touched me, without the guilt associated with the whole ‘stepbrothers’ situation.
The only blemish on my excitement is the thought of the other kiss I received last night and this time I shudder with a completely different feeling, remembering the wet, invasive and repulsive kiss from Marc. I try to shake that memory off as a new wave of guilt washes over me. I hate that I broke his heart and I wish I had known that things with him wouldn’t feel right before, so that I wouldn’t have encouraged his phone calls and texts last winter.
But in the end, I tell myself that I did the right thing by being firm with him because Marc is a nice guy and he deserves someone who wants him in a way I sadly never will.
I pay more attention when choosing my clothes this morning, opting for a white, gauzy summer dress over my favorite pale pink bikini, more a coverup than a dress really.
Bryce and I haven’t made any definite plan but the fact that I know I’ll see him makes me want to look prettier than with my go to cutoff shorts.
The smell of butter and sausage greets me as soon as I approach the kitchen and this is how I know that my parents are back in town.
I refer to Mom and Dustin as ‘my parents’, as really Dustin has been more of a father to me in the three years he’s been married to my mom than my real dad has ever been.
“Hey, guys!”
I greet them as my stepfather takes a cookie sheet laden with biscuits out of the oven while Mom is stirring the gravy and making scrambled eggs at the same time.
“Hey, kiddo!”
“It smells delicious in here.” I compliment them as I hug them both and Dustin smiles explaining that they wanted to kick the summer off properly with a family breakfast, now that we’re all in the house.
“Today is Chase and Reid’s first day of work too and I wanted to start things off with a nice breakfast before we all head to the marina. I was actually wondering if you, Bryce and Parker wanted to come too to get a tour of the premises, since it’s the boys’ first summer in Star Cove.”
“Sure Mr. Hudson, it sounds fun,” Parker enters the kitchen followed by Bryce and as they walk to hug Dustin and Mom, he brushes his hand against mine in a casual touch that is more than enough to make my knees feel weak.
My stepfather is telling Parker off in a good-natured way for calling him ‘Mr. Hudson’
“You guys have been running around with my boys since elementary school and as we’re all adults now, I think Dustin will suffice.”
Parker thanks him and my mom adds that they can call her Karen.
We head toward the dining table, each of us helping to carry the food from the kitchen to the huge dining room, and as we begin to sit down the twins enter the room.
Chase and Reid are both ready for their first day interning for their dad’s company and they look absolutely dashing, I have to admit it even if I do my best to keep my eyes trained on my plate. Chase is wearing a khaki shorts and blue polo combo worn by all the employees who work around the boats on the marina. While Reid is wearing dark slacks, a pale blue shirt that matches the color of his eyes and a dark blue blazer in an office chic style.
They both greet Dustin affectionately and hug my mom.
This is the thing that hurts me the most: they’re both absolutely sweet to my mom, it’s obvious that they genuinely like her, love her even. So their attitude toward me has nothing to do with them disapproving of their father’s choice of a bride, they simply hate me.
During breakfast I learn that for the next four weeks Chase will work on the boat maintenance side of the business, while Reid will shadow Dustin in the office. They will rotate at the end of the month.
Dustin wants them to work in every department of the company before he’ll eventually assign each of them their own sector.
The conversation flows easily and normally I’d be fully involved but today all I seem to be able to do is avoid engaging with my stepbrothers in any way while I meet Bryce’s eyes a few times.
He doesn’t say anything to me but his gaze makes my skin feel hot and the way the corner of his mouth lifts in a barely there smile reminds me how good that mouth felt on mine last night.
“Since all the boys are taking a tour of Hudson Marina Inc. and your mother has a meeting at the town hall with the Fourth of July committee, do you want to join us, Kaya?”
I hesitate to agree, feeling Chase’s eyes immediately land on me but Parker invites me to hang out with him and Bryce for a lazy afternoon on the beach after the tour is over, so it makes sense to go with them.
“Sure, Nic is working today so my plan was to finish this great book I was reading and I can definitely do that on the beach.”
We ride in two different cars while Mom says goodbye to us heading to her own appointment. She insists on doing something with her time and is involved in a huge number of social and charitable causes.
That gives her purpose but also keeps her free to join Dustin whenever he travels and I see how happy she is, so I’m happy for her.
The ride with Bryce and Parker is fun: we listen to the radio and singalong to all the latest summer songs. I love how easygoing my brothers’ best friends are and I feel a little sad at the memory of that first summer in Star Cove, when I did stuff like that with Chase and Reid all the time.
I find myself wishing that we could still hang out like we used to, even if they didn’t reciprocate my feelings, we could still be good friends. In a way, the fact that my stepbrothers don’t feel the same way I do about them, is probably a blessing in disguise because if they had reciprocated my feelings, things wouldn’t have ended well anyway. Because the attraction and the feelings I had and still have for each of them are equally strong and I don’t know how I could have possibly chosen just one of them.
Well as usual, I waste my time thinking about a dilemma that I’ll never have, since the twins have decided that they hate me.
Hudson Marina is a huge corporation, a giant in everything related to boats and maritime sports but you’d never tell by the company’s HQ. I’ve visited the San Francisco offices, which are definitely worthy of a Fortune 500 company but this is the heart of the operations at least for the sports and leisure boats and entering the low, wooden building with floor to ceiling windows, feels more like entering a really fancy surf shop than a multinational company, world leader in building sailboats, catamarans and small, luxury yachts.
“Morning, Mr. Hudson. Mornin
g guys.”
“Morning Jasmine. How is your first day at Hudson Marina going so far?”
“Awesome, Mr. Hudson. Thank you so much for this opportunity, you won’t regret it.”
I’m shocked to see Jasmine Wheeler in a dark grey suit, sitting at the reception desk, her raven black hair slicked back and gathered in a perfect ponytail.
She’s wearing a headset and her fingers are busy tapping at a wireless keyboard in front of her.
Dustin nods kindly. “I’m sure that you’ll do great, just do everything Laura tells you to do and you’ll be absolutely fine. Talking about Laura, where is she?”
Jasmine says something about the other receptionist having gone to the bathroom, but her attention is now on the boys.
Her tone is upbeat and her smile is bright, until her gaze lands on me. “Good morning, Kayla, right?”
I immediately spot the cattiness in her tone, she’s probably getting my name wrong on purpose I think, trying to keep my tone as neutral as possible as I correct her. I didn’t know she worked here, but obviously she just started.
As we move toward Dustin’s office, Jasmine leaves her desk and stops Reid to whisper something in his ear, her hand placed possessively on his forearm.
I wonder if he helped her to get this job, since last I heard Jasmine was working as a cam girl. But then I think that it’s impossible because the boys only arrived two days ago and even if she hooked up with Reid last night at the party, this would be way too fast.
Either way, her presence here makes me feel really unhappy at the thought that she’ll get to see Reid and Chase more than I do.
I hate myself for the jealousy I feel and I have to remind myself that regardless of all the Jasmine Wheelers of the world, my stepbrothers only take notice of me to let me know how much they dislike me.
So it’s really not her fault if Reid likes her, that doesn’t necessarily make her my enemy. I obviously don’t like what I know about her, the fact that she cheated on her husband, but I need to remember how there’s always more than one side to every story and in Jasmine’s case all I know is the rumors.
Forbidden (Perfect for them Book 1) Page 8