“My mom.”
I was taken aback that she actually answered me.
“What about her?”
“Why did she leave me then? She’s a dragon, too.”
I knew her mother had left because Irene told me. “I can’t answer that for you.”
“Yeah, I know.” She sighed. “I just hate all these questions that will never be answered.”
Welcome to my world.
“You really heard Paul’s voice in your head?”
“It was a trick, he planted it.”
I frowned. Why did… It must be a Rubicon thing. But she wasn’t a Rubicon then. It didn’t make sense.
“Why do you want to know?” she asked.
“Just curious. What did it sound like?”
“At first I thought I was going to lose my mind. The extra voice was distracting me and I couldn’t concentrate. Everyone knew something was wrong, but Lucian was the first to ask me about it.”
Lucian knew about the voice in her head?
“Did you speak to one another on a regular basis?”
She shook her head. “I tried, but he never answered. I don’t think he wanted to, to be honest. It was just a trick, remember?” She studied my face, as if she knew I was hiding something.
“You reached out to him?” I asked. I’d never heard a peep.
“I just told you that I tried. I guessed his level of thinking was higher than mine, and that he couldn’t hear me, or maybe he didn’t like the fact that I could hear him.” She tilted her head, a line forming between her eyebrows. “Why do you want to know this?”
“Told you, I’m curious. It’s something that you wouldn’t find with a rider and their dragon at such a young age.”
“And yet I also keep telling you that it was his gift. Tricking people was his specialty.” She smiled and I huffed silently.
Maybe I was seeing things or wanting to see things that weren’t there.
“I do know that he had a thing for poems.”
My jaw nearly dropped, but I controlled myself.
“He kept reciting one over and over.”
I’d been at home, in Tith during that time. It was after my beating. She’d heard me from that distance?
She told me how the voice had scared her at first, but later on it had become soothing.
She was strange.
“Professor Pheizer really thought that it was my dark mark, and that whoever my dragon was, our bond would’ve been strong. She was so wrong.”
I didn’t want to talk about Pheizer. “A dragon that loves poems, it’s a bit pansy, isn’t it?”
She laughed. “It’s not. I thought it was beautiful.”
I looked at her with new eyes.
“It’s how he tricked me into trusting him, too. Someone who recites old Latin love poems like that…” She shook her head. “There is no way he could’ve been evil.”
I didn’t like her words. It felt as if I was the trickster, now. “Evil comes in all forms. Even portrays itself as light.”
I picked up a twig and snapped it in my fingers. I’d been sitting too still and needed to do something with my hands.
“Yes, it would’ve been nice if someone had taught me that before the whole Wyvern thing.”
I could’ve taught her that. It had been stupid of me not to say anything about the missing days. Master Longwei would’ve kicked him out and Lucian would be alive.
I had been so blind.
Maybe the dream I had last night had been delayed. Maybe I was supposed to dream it a few months ago. A warning that Elena wasn’t my rider.
I shifted my attention back to the current conversation. “What did Lucian say about all of this?”
“He thought it was funny at first, but when he saw that it freaked me out, he got worried. He suggested I speak to Professor Pheizer about it. She, on the other hand, told me to embrace it.”
“Did you ever tell him about the poem thing?”
Shut up, Blake. You want to give yourself away? But a part of me wanted to know just how much Lucian had known.
“Yeah,” she replied.
I looked at her, but she didn’t look at me. My gaze darted to the ground. Lucian had known it was me.
“And?”
“And what? He didn’t know who it belonged to, but he got really quiet and worried for a long time.”
He definitely knew. He knew I was lying. And then she changed into a fucking dragon.
I don’t think he even knew that.
“Are you sure this is just curiosity? Are you hearing a voice, Blake?” she joked.
I laughed. “No, I’m not as crazy as you.”
She looked away and shook her head.
“It was a joke,” I muttered.
“Funny sense of humor,” she said in all seriousness, but her underlying tone made me chuckle.
“Tabitha waiting for you?” she teased.
“No. She hates every moment of me being here with you.”
“Tell her she’s got nothing to worry about.”
“I do, every day, but for some reason she doesn’t believe me.”
“Not my problem,” she snapped.
“Ouch! You always this harsh?”
She laughed and it was so welcoming, so familiar. “Change of topic. I thought two Rubicons couldn’t coexist with one another?”
“I said I was going to try,” I said as seriously as I could manage.
Her eyes widened and she gulped. “You want to kill me?” she stuttered, her voice filled with fear.
I couldn’t keep a straight face. I laughed as I stroked my face with my palm. “I’m joking.”
“Haha,” she said sarcastically and threw a rock at me.
I ducked as it whizzed past my head.
“No. I don’t want to kill you. I guess the old farts came to a conclusion about what two Rubicons in this world would do before knowing two who were born at the same time. Why do you ask? Do you want to kill me?” I teased.
“Urges come and go,” she said matter-of-factly. The corners of her lips tugged up. “But they’ve got nothing to do with being a Rubicon.”
I grinned.
“Lucian really told you about the date?” she asked me.
I nodded and blew out a gush of air as regret settled heavily in my stomach. “I should’ve gone with him.”
I didn’t know what to say to change the heaviness that settled over us.
“Did he appear to you, too?” she asked.
“Appear, how?”
She shook her head. “It doesn’t matter.”
She was seeing his ghost? What did he tell her when he appeared to her? “Elena, what we say here, stays here. I won’t tell anyone.”
“Lucian found a way to be in two places at once. It was like the Cammy, but he didn’t need the Cammy, if that makes any sense.”
So it wasn’t his ghost. She was talking about when he was still alive, but she’d completely lost me.
“It’s connected to the Cammy?”
“No!” she bit out.
Why was she annoyed with me? I had no clue what she was talking about.
“I saw him, and touched him, but he was pale and cold. It wasn’t really him. He told me that it was a trick he’d mastered, and that it’d grown stronger while he was on his mission.”
Magic. Did that kind of magic even exist? And if so…
“I’m not making it up. I’m serious.”
“Then why didn’t he warn us about Paul?”
“He tried, but the connection wasn’t very strong. I thought he was in danger, and Paul knew exactly what Lucian had discovered, so he executed his plan faster. You didn’t know humans could do that?”
How did she pick up on my feelings so fast? It was like she was reading my thoughts.
“No, but then again, this is a world of the strange and unexplained. Anything is possible.”
“So, what does the Viden think about your date?”
“She doesn’t know. For so
me reason she really struggles to see me. After the Warbel games, she struggles with plenty of things.”
“You think she’s lost her touch?”
I shook my head. “No, she just doesn’t trust it anymore.”
“I don’t understand.”
“It’s hard to explain to you how Irene’s gift works. All you need to know is that when she says something while she’s going whoo-whoo—” I wiggled my fingers, eyebrows moving up and down. She laughed. “Then you know you should pay attention.”
She was quiet for a moment, then she asked, “Can you feel the darkness?”
“It comes and goes. For some reason, when I make myself useful, like helping you or coaching the Warbel team, it’s bearable.”
“See, helping others is good.”
I smiled. She sounded like Lucian.
“Is that the reason you decided to do this?”
“It’s one of them,” I said honestly.
“There are more? What are the others?”
“You’re not ready to know that yet,” I said as I stood up. All this sitting still was making me anxious. “Come, I’ll race you to the academy.” I pulled off my robe as I ran to the edge of the cliff and dived off, shifting with ease.
I slowed my speed as I waited for Elena.
I expected her not to follow, but she proved me wrong and dived down.
Couldn’t fly, my ass.
Tabitha grumbled under her breath as Elena ran toward our table during lunch the next day.
“Easy,” I spoke softly and Tabitha stopped grumbling just as Elena reached us.
“I’ll meet you on the mountain,” she said.
“You sure you’re going to find your way?”
“I’m not stupid. I actually do own a tracking ability, too.”
I stifled my laughter as watched her walk away
“Are you sure it’s just training?” Tabitha snapped.
“Stop that. How many times do I have to tell you?”
“I’m just checking.”
I shook my head, smiling.
I paced the mountain, worried that Elena wouldn’t find the way. But then I saw her large form in the horizon, bearing down on me.
I backed away as she landed. “Cara or Elena?” I teased.
“Be careful who you wish for, rodent.”
I grinned. “Cara.”
“Or is it, idiot?” Elena said and I blinked.
Was she admitting that this was all an act?
“Ciao,” she said as she walked into the forest.
That hadn’t sounded like Elena at all. I sighed. She was confusing.
She came out and took a seat on the boulder next to me.
“So, what are we going to do today, Yoda?”
I laughed. “What do you want to do?” The words sounded suggestive, which was not my intention.
“Nothing,” she said, as if my slightly seductive tone didn’t bother her at all. Perhaps she just hadn’t picked up on it. She relaxed, resting her head against her hands and closing her eyes. She was starting to let her guard down
My gaze drifted over her. The way she was stretched out looked inviting.
“That sounds like a great plan.” I mimicked her pose, and watched as a smile spread on her face.
The sun’s rays were warm on my skin. I closed my eyes and let the warmth of the day relax me.
“Can I ask you a question?” Elena murmured.
“Shoot.”
“How did your father beat you that last time? I mean, you are the Rubicon, and so powerful. I just don’t understand.”
She thought I was powerful? That sent a flutter into my stomach.
I was quiet as I tried to figure out how to explain it to her.
“Blake,” her voice said from above and I snapped my eyes open.
She was leaning down over me, watching me intently. With the sunlight behind her, I saw what Lucian must have seen that first day. I blinked, willing myself to stop looking at her lips.
“I need to know how to control my temper if someone has to beat me.”
Focus, Blake. I turned my head as she settled back in her original position.
I sighed. “Elena, I was drunk. It’s the only time that he’s tamable. Why do you think I get drunk on a weekly basis?”
“But you still do messed up things when you are drunk?”
I shielded my eyes from the sun with one hand. “That’s what happens when people are drunk.”.
“They don’t burn down factories.”
“How do you know? You ever get drunk before?”
She laughed; the sound was music to my ears. The corner of my lips curved.
“Almost, and believe me, burning something down didn’t come up.”
“So he’s basically asleep when you are wasted?”
“I didn’t say that. He’s a bit calmer and it’s easier to hold on.”
“Why do you hold on, why not succumb to the darkness?”
I bit the inside of my cheek as I mulled it over. Nobody asked me that. They all just wanted me to fight.
“Would you?”
“I’m going that way, so I don’t know if I would fight it the way you do. I don’t think I’m that strong.”
I smiled. She would be. “You think I’m strong for fighting this?” I said teasingly. She had no idea what was coming.
“Yeah, you are.” She swallowed and looked away.
My stomach was flipping again.
“I don’t agree. If I had to tell you about all the shit I’ve done, you wouldn’t be here on this rock with me,” I said in an attempt to scare her off.
“Nothing would surprise me anymore. I’m not a naive little girl.”
I laughed at the way she said it. “Nice try, but if I tell you, I will have to kill you, and it’s not a Rubicon thing either.”
She didn’t laugh. “Why did you push Lucian away? I mean, he was your best friend.”
The sudden change of subject caught me off guard. I clenched my jaw. “I told you that night why I did what I did.”
“Because of the darkness?”
“Yes, it didn’t want to be close to the light. It made me nauseous.”
“It made you sick?”
“Yes, Elena. It made me sick. Being in the presence of my best friend made me sick. Telling him that would be worse, so I told him I didn’t want to be his friend anymore.”
“He never gave up on you, you know.”
I huffed. “I had a feeling you were going to say that.”
“Well, it’s the truth. I tried to talk him out of it the third time he tried to claim you. We got into a huge fight, our first one. He told me I knew nothing, and if I knew what type of person you were, I would understand.” She laughed wistfully at the memory.
I wanted to lean over and kiss her, to run my hands over her delicate skin. What the fuck? It must be a Rubicon thing.
It could be so easy between us.
“Old Blake was pathetic.” I sat up, resting my arms on my knees. Lying next to her was dangerous.
“Is that the Rubicon speaking or you?”
“Both. I am the Rubicon, Elena.”
“Yet you get drunk to control yourself. Yeah, it doesn’t make much sense.”
For some reason, it pissed me off that she didn’t get what I had to do to not to give in to the darkness.
“What do you want me to tell you? How chirpy I used to be and what a happy child I was? Giving my parents joy every day of their life, getting straight As. None of that matters anymore. That Blake is gone.”
She pushed herself up, sitting in the same position as me. “You used to get straight As?” she asked incredulously.
“The past doesn’t matter, we can’t go back and we can’t change it.”
“Says who? Maybe in ten years it will be a possibility.”
I blew out a breath. “You live in a dream world.”
“No, I live in Paegeia, crazy place, remember.”
“Well, if that happens, go
back in time and see what I was.”
She changed the subject again. “Why did you ask George to prank me that day?”
“You really want to talk about that?” I rubbed a hand over my face.
“Yes, I do.”
“I don’t know, it was silly.”
“It was cruel. A Moonbolt killed my father and almost killed me, too.” She sounded serious but not angry.
“So I heard afterwards. Sorry,” I mumbled. No way was I gonna admit I had George do that on purpose because I wanted her to lose her mind. It was cruel. But back then I didn’t know that she was a Rubicon.
“It’s fine. I should actually thank you for throwing me into the deep end.”
“Then what, you want me to take back being sorry?”
She shrugged. “You can do whatever you want, I don’t care.”
She meant it, and I didn’t like that. I felt so stupid.
“So, Constance is your aunt. I didn’t see that one coming. What was it like when you were a child?”
Sheesh, with the way she constantly changed the subject, it was like she was interrogating me. “What is it with the million questions?”
“Curious.”
“I’m going to regret this.”
“That’s good.”
I narrowed my eyes at her. “What’s good?”
“You see a later; regret always comes later.”
I huffed. I’d tried to get her to acknowledge her dragon, and she’d made me acknowledge a future.
“It was fun, confused the living crap out of me, but they seemed to enjoy every moment of it.”
She laughed. “Now I know where you got your mean streak from.”
“Yeah, the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. So what do you want to know next?”
“Curiosity is satisfied for now. If I want to know more, I’ll ask.”
I wanted to keep talking. I liked talking to her. It was easy, light, and fun.. “Matt told me about that night.”
Not this, Blake. Change the subject, my mind screamed at me, but for some reason I couldn’t.
“On Interstate 40?” She smiled sadly. “It sounds like a bad love song, right?”
I laughed, nodding. “It does.”
“So, what did Matt tell you?”
“That your father fought at least five dragons.”
“It was four, and I’ve never been so scared in my entire life.”
I admired her ability to admit things so openly. The more time we spent together, the more I wanted to kick my own ass for having been such a dick to her in the beginning.
Darkbeam Part II Page 18