She stared at me, puzzled. “What do you… oh… Seriously?”
“Yeah, I really want to know how it feels. Find out what the big fuss is about.”
She laughed. “Fine, hop on.”
I kept my lewd remark to myself. I walked toward her and grabbed her main horn, hoisting myself up easily.
I’d managed it with such ease that I wondered why some Dragonians struggled to mount a dragon.
Elena let out a chuckle. What was she planning?
I wrapped the two whiskers once more over my hand to get a better grip.
“Easy, tiger. That is actually attached to me.”
I chuckled and loosened my grip, my body pumping with adrenaline as she stood up and threw herself off the cliff, diving straight down.
The trees rushed up toward us as we descended at breakneck speed.
“Whoa!” I roared from the excitement and adrenaline rushing through me. Elena changed directions on a dime, pushing herself up into the air.
I tightened my grip. I had, essentially, just put my life into Elena’s hands. It was one hell of a ride.
“Go for it,” Elena said, but she wasn’t speaking to me.
She twirled fast and the world spun around me, the force pushing me tightly against her horn.
She dove, came up again, repeating that a few times without slowing her pace.
It was a ride straight from hell.
Elena laughed.
“More,” I yelled when it felt as if she was going to slow down.
She laughed and I held on.
I felt sorry for whoever would be her rider one day.
She was crazy fast. A beast.
Once again, I wished that I had been born human, and that this would be my life if I had been.
My life would have been carefree. Not as intense all the time like was now.
She changed course, heading in the opposite direction of the academy. My palms became sweaty.
“Where are we going?”
“Just wait and see,” she said.
I swallowed the little fear that creeped over me.
She headed south of the mountain, on the opposite side from where we trained. She swooped down, then landed gracefully in a small clearing.
My jaw dropped and a soft gasp left me.
In front of us, the most beautiful waterfall I had ever seen greeted us. The sun filtered through the trees, making everything sparkle like diamonds.
I couldn’t stop staring at the scenery, and without waiting for her to lower herself to the ground, I jumped off her back, eyes trained on the waterfall.
Elena scurried behind a tree and I heard her speaking to herself.
I sat on the bench and pulled my feet up, completely awestruck by the waterfall and the beauty surrounding it—lily pads were scattered on the lake’s surface, moss covered the rocks surrounding it. Why had I never known about this beauty? I’d spent so much time on this mountain, but I’d never once wandered to this side of it. It was breathtaking.
Elena came to sit next me, her warmth brushing over me, but I didn’t look at her.
This place was dangerous. If I looked at her now, I wasn’t sure I’d be able to stop myself from kissing her.
We sat in silence, but the pressure became suffocating.
“It really is a beautiful place. How did you find it?”
“Don’t know. It was the night before Nicole tried to claim me. I couldn’t sleep and I had to find a way to clear my mind.”
“I like it.”
“That’s why I brought you here, idiot.” Her tone was still playful, and she nudged me with her shoulder.
I smiled.
Ducks and swans swam past us. The water looked so inviting, and I decided it was time for a swim. After all, I had to enjoy tonight. For all I knew, it might be my last.
“I’m going to take a swim.” I got up and looked down at her.
I smiled as I leaned into her, blocking her in her spot with both hands right next to her.
She pulled back a bit, blinking up at me in confusion.
“Join me.” I quirked my eyebrows before I ran toward the waterfall.
Without hesitating, I took off my robe and got in.
The water was felt glorious.
I turned around, and Elena quickly turned her head away from me.
She had been checking me out.
What are you doing? You are not worthy of her, Blake. You will pull her into your darkness.
I ignored the whisper rolling around in my mind, instead putting all my focus on Elena.
“C’mon, Elena, the water is perfect.”
“I’m not getting in there.”
“You still have a thing about naked bodies?”
She narrowed her eyes. “Do your thing so we can go home.”
“No, come have a swim. Otherwise I’ll get out and come and fetch you myself.”
She jumped up. “Okay, fine.”
I laughed. She was so scared of my naked body. I turned around to give her some privacy—seeing her naked would be a deal breaker.
I’d already broken my first rule. I couldn’t do more.
She sucked in a breath. “I thought you said it was warm. It’s freezing.”
“Oh, c’mon. It’s not that cold. Just swim around; it will get warm in a minute.”
She went under and swam toward me.
Don’t look, Blake.
Elena broke through the water a few feet from me, but the light was in my eyes and she covered herself with one arm.
I shook my head in exasperation.
With a devious grin, she splashed me with water.
I tried to block it and went for it, and she giggled shrilly as I stalked toward her. I grabbed her ankle under the water and pulled her closer. I was tempted to kiss her, but I dunked her instead.
Fuck.
I didn’t want to fight it anymore.
Elena came back up, spluttering and splashing more water into my face.
We played around for a few more minutes until I decided it would be best if we left. I was playing with fire and I would get burned. My own fire wouldn’t even be a match for what I was messing with.
Elena swam to the edge when the excitement quieted down, but just as she was about to pull herself out, I pulled her back in.
She looked at me. I desperately wanted to kiss her, but the consequences…
Focus on the task.
Fuck the task.
I was so sick of the war inside me. I just wanted to give in to the right side.
“Are you okay?”
I shook my head and opened my eyes.
Big mistake.
I felt myself getting lost in hers.
She was so close I could almost feel her breath.
I moved closer to her, and she followed my lead. Her warm breath brushed over my skin as she touched my chest.
The current I had felt the other day coursed through me again.
Any moment our lips would touch.
But I couldn’t do it.
I mustered every ounce of willpower I possessed and pulled myself out of the water.
I felt like breaking, like my heart and soul were shattering into a million tiny pieces.
She got out after me, and I was sure she would storm to the nearest tree to shift, or ask me to close my eyes as she rushed past me to get her robe. It would be awkward but—
“What, I’m not good enough for you, is that it?”
I froze. She hadn’t gotten dressed or shifted.
I turned around, my brow furrowed.
She wanted me to kiss her?
My gaze quickly roamed her naked body and it was everything I’d imagined. I don’t think Elena even realized she was naked. She was too pissed off. Where was this coming from?
“It’s like I can’t even count how many times that happens. What are you trying to do?”
“Nothing,” I said quickly. “It’s stupid and I shouldn’t have done that.”
�
��I don’t get you.” The disappointment in her voice was like a punch.
“Surely you can see being with me makes you sort of calm and normal. Why are you fighting this? Lucian is dead, he’s never coming back.”
What? Shock coursed through me. Elena knew about the effect she had on me.
“It’s not about Lucian.”
“Then what?” she yelled.
“I’m turning dark. I can’t do this,” I said, trying to remain calm.
“You won’t as long as we are together,” she begged.
I wanted to believe her, but how did she know it would last?
“Can’t you feel that?”
So, it wasn’t a one-way stream.
Focus on the task, Blake.
“Feel what?” I asked, feigning ignorance.
“You’re different when you’re here, with me. Hell, I feel that even. I feel funny when I don’t spend time with you every day.”
Definitely not a one-way stream.
“In what way?” I frowned. I needed to make sure it was the same thing I experienced.
“Like the dark becomes too much, but the minute you’re near, it goes away. C’mon, I know you feel it too.”
My heart clenched as her words sunk in. Elena would go dark. That was evident now.
I shook my head, knowing I had to lie. “I don’t.”
She swallowed hard.
“The dark is getting stronger. I will turn, no one is going to claim me.” I will take you with me.
“You can’t say that.”
“Yes, I can!” I had to get through to her. Why wasn’t she listening to me.
She shook her head and looked at the ground.
Fuck! I needed her to hear me. I hadn’t wanted to do this tonight, but now I had no choice.
“I think it’s time to tell you why I’m helping you.”
Her head snapped up and she locked eyes with me.
“You ever wondered how Paul found those Elementals so fast?”
“Yeah, he said that danger was coming, but instead it was already upon us.”
“He was right.” I forced a smile, hoping it would hold me together. “But it wasn’t in the form of the Hippogriff or him. It’s me.”
“Blake!” She stroked her face. She was going to fight this and I couldn’t…
“Don’t, Elena. Am I the only one who can see this?” I bit out, defeat and resignation ringing through my voice. “When the Elementals vanished with him, you turned. It didn’t make much sense, but when you started turning into a Rubicon, putting two and two together was easy.”
“What does me becoming a Rubicon have to do with anything?”
I sighed, clenching and unclenching my fist. “I trained you for a reason.”
“And what reason is that?” she spat.
“So when I turn you can kill me!”
It hit her harder than I thought it would. Elena stood there, her eyes wide, mouth open in horror.
That was not what I had expected at all.
“Are you insane? I’m not going to kill you.”
“You have no choice. I don’t want to destroy my home, or the people I care for. The Rubicon doesn’t give a shit about any of them. When he fully takes control of me, I will no longer be. It will only be him.” Tears pricked my eyes. Elena and I were the same. We were both great at pretending. This was going to break me. Trying to break her was going to be my end. “I don’t want to belong to Goran.”
“He’s trapped behind Etan,” she hissed through clenched teeth.
“And I would find a way to free him. I’m sure you know more or less what it is our blood contains.”
She nodded.
“Believe me, I would do anything to free him from Etan,” I spoke softly. “That can never happen. We will destroy this world.”
She looked at me. Her eyes were filled with questions but I couldn’t see a single tear.
When had she grown so strong? I could practically see the wheels in her mind working as she thought it over.
Silently, I begged.
She had to agree. I could see it. This night wasn’t a waste. Not yet.
“There has to be another way, someone will claim you.”
“No one is going to claim me!” Fuck. What have I done? I closed my eyes and forced myself to calm down.
When I opened my eyes she was right in front of me.
I should just fly away and deal with this later, but I couldn’t leave her here. Not while she was so open. I needed to be strong. “I made peace with that, you have to promise me—”
Her hand connected hard with my face.
“No, I will not kill you, I love you.”
My eyes flew open. She couldn’t love me. If she loved me, I would only ruin her when I turned. She needed to kill me.
Anger swirled in my bloodstream. I was furious with myself. It was my fault she’d fallen in love with me—it hadn’t been her doing. I knew what I needed to tell her. She was gonna hate me. I was gonna hate myself.
“I told you not to fall in love with me. I specifically said that the first time we started with this.” The words were so hard to say that I had to push them through my teeth.
“Well you didn’t make it easy for me, Blake.”
“I was being nice.”
“Oh and those almost couple of kisses we shared?” A sarcastic chuckle tumbled through her lips.
“I was being me. Nothing strange about that.” I had to come up with better lies.
Or maybe I wouldn’t have to.
“So what, you don’t feel anything for me?”
Why did she have to ask me that? I didn’t want to lie about this. How much more could my heart take? “No! I don’t. You are not a match for Tabitha.” Every word pierced into my heart, and I felt how everything inside me shatter.
She took a deep breath and it was then she realized she was naked.
She darted past me and grabbed her robe, quickly pulling it over her head.
“I told you—”
“Yeah, I know. Don’t worry about that.”
“You’ve got to promise me.”
“I can’t do that!” she yelled. “You might not feel the same about me, but I do care for you. I can’t.”
She looked down when she ran past me, but I still saw the tears.
I heard her shift, heard her fly into the air, and heard the soft wail that rang through the air.
Elena would never know what that did to me.
I fell to the ground, trying to hold myself together. I couldn’t break. Not now.
A scream tore through me.
I had been wrong when I’d thought breaking Elena would break me. I hadn’t broken, but it was close. I could taste the foulness of my evil.
The darkness made me tell her that we wouldn’t continue training, and she didn’t fight me. She simply nodded before she turned and walked away, not sparing me a second glance.
It was as if I was constantly stuck on the edge, waiting for the day to come when the darkness would consume me completely.
Days passed, and I felt the darkness creeping in more and more. Not even Elena’s presence could make me feel the light anymore.
I drove it away that night when I threw it in her face. My punishment was to never feel it again.
That light. That peace. It was gone, and it would never exist for me again.
The darkness told me I had done Elena a favor. Whatever had held us together was finally broken.
She would be safe when I turned.
She’d just have to face the darkness alone, the same way I had.
Tabitha didn’t understand what caused the drastic change in my demeanor, and she badgered me constantly about it.
When I told her that I had stopped training Elena, she was ecstatic. Now she kept pushing me to cheer up, and every time I got more violent.
The darkness was close to drowning me, but Tabitha wasn’t the one who would push me over the edge.
She wasn’t Elena.
> I was stuck on a ledge, waiting for the inevitable to happen.
One afternoon, in the middle of another fight with Tabitha, Elena came to stick her nose in my business.
I glared at her. What was she doing here? Hadn’t she had enough from me? When would she leave me alone? When I was dark?
“We’ve got a plan,” she said.
A fucking plan? She was ridiculous. I started to laugh. “It’s not going to work.” I slouched back into my chair, resting one foot on the table.
“You don’t know that. It’s better than asking someone to kill you!”
“You did what?” Tabitha shrieked.
“Calm down,” I snapped at Tabitha before looking back at Elena. “Stop this, you’re wasting your time.”
“We’re not. Lucian found something. I could see it in his eyes. He knew something; he just didn’t have the time to tell us.”
“I told you, he found nothing but Paul’s deception.”
“That’s not true, and I’m going to prove it.”
“What?” This wasn’t part of the plan. Why couldn’t she just let things go?
But I knew why. Once Elena made up her mind, nothing could change it.
But I would do anything to change her mind. She needed to kill me. Nobody was strong enough to tame me. If Elena didn’t kill me, I would destroy Paegeia.
I leaned into her, my face was inches from hers. It took all my willpower not to grab her and shake the stubbornness out of her.
“I don’t need your permission, but I promise you I’ll find whatever Lucian discovered.” With that, she turned around and started walking away.
“No!” I roared.
She whirled around. “Excuse me, you are not the boss of me. The last time someone told me no, he discovered pretty fast that there is no way to change my mind when I’ve decided on something.”
A blanket of silence fell over the cafeteria. From my peripheral, I noticed some students running away, but I didn’t care. I needed Elena to stop.
“I’m not Lucian. You will kill me, that I can promise.”
She laughed, which made the entire cafeteria gasp. No one ever dared to laugh in my face when I was pissed. “I’m not—”
The words tumbled out of my mouth before I could stop them, but it was the only way to make her hate me. “It’s my fault Lucian is dead.”
She rolled her eyes. “The Hippogriff killed Lucian.”
Darkbeam Part II Page 25