I’ve almost reached the bar when a familiar voice washes over me from behind.
“What the fuck?” I turn just in time to see Aaron close in on me. “I didn’t know you were playing here tonight.” He shoves at my shoulder.
“It was a last-minute thing. What the hell are you doing here?” I ask, knowing this isn’t his usual scene.
“I came with Henna and one of her friends.”
“Who?” I question.
“Henna. You know, the girl with the long black hair. The one you were talking to last week at Pulsations?”
“The one who was trying to get me to fuck her friend?” I question. “Yeah, I remember.”
“She what?” He chokes out a laugh.
“Never mind. I didn’t know you liked Alternative music.”
“It’s okay. I’m not really here for the music.” He smirks.
“I see.” I bite back a laugh.
“You sounded amazing up there, by the way. I can’t remember how long it’s been since I’ve seen you play.”
“Probably since I was a teenager.”
“Probably. Maybe you should tell me when you have a gig and I can come see you more often. You’re pretty fucking talented.”
“Thanks.” I nod, thinking this might be the first time any of my brothers have actually acknowledged my talent. Normally, it’s them lecturing me on getting a real job and doing something with my life. It’s hard to explain to someone who is blind to the arts, what it does for a person. Music is my outlet. Music is the one thing that sets me free. Music is about the only thing keeping me standing upright and still functioning most days.
“Abel,” a female voice says seconds before Henna steps up next to my brother. “Oh my god, you were incredible up there. I had no idea you were a musician.” She addresses me like we’re old friends.
“Yep.” I rock back on my heels.
“Wasn’t he amazing, Peyton?” I turn to see who she’s speaking to. It’s the girl who spilled my drink at the bar last weekend.
“Really good,” she agrees, sliding up next to her friend. “Hi.” She waves awkwardly at me. “Remember me? We weren’t formally introduced but I’m Peyton.”
“Peyton, how could I forget? Thanks to you I went to bed smelling like scotch.” I manage to keep a straight face even though I’m totally just messing with her.
“Yeah, um, I’m sorry about that...again.” She laughs, much more timid than the last time I saw her. Hell, if I had to guess I’d say she’s downright nervous. The thought ignites a tiny fire in the pit of my stomach, but I quickly extinguish it.
Even though I try to keep my eyes on hers, I can’t stop myself from taking a moment to drink her in. Her blue eyes, her small nose, her full lips covered in a light layer of clear gloss. Her blonde hair is wavy, falling just past her shoulders, and she’s wearing a black, sleeveless tank, tight ripped jeans, and black heels. The entire look suits her well.
She really is a beautiful girl. Someone I definitely would have went for before...
I quickly shake the thought away.
“No, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have snapped at you like that. It was a... rough night,” I offer her a smile which she instantly returns.
“Yeah, it was kind of a hot mess.”
“I think shit show is the phrase you’re looking for.” I turn my gaze back to my brother. “I was just heading to the bar to grab a drink. You guys wanna join me? Rob owes me some free drinks.”
“Free drinks?” Henna is the first to respond. “You don’t have to twist my arm.” She grabs my brother’s hand and pulls him toward the bar.
“When did that happen?” I ask Peyton, gesturing to Aaron and Henna’s joined hands as we follow behind them.
“The night of the parties, I guess. They dropped me off and went out for a drink. The next morning he was at our place and I’ve seen him every day since then. Henna even paid double for another ticket on a reseller site just so he could come with us tonight.” She rolls her eyes.
“You don’t approve?” I question.
“Oh no, I really like Aaron. He seems like a great guy.”
“He really is.”
“It’s just Henna.” She shakes her head. “She’s an all or nothing kind of girl. Zero to sixty in three seconds flat. So far it hasn’t really worked in her favor.”
“Is that your way of telling me she’ll break my brother’s heart?”
“More like I’m afraid he’ll break hers. She falls hard and fast. I’ve seen the aftermath of that scenario more times than I care to admit.”
“Want me to warn him that I’ll break his face if he hurts her?” I keep my eyes trained forward, not sure why I don’t want to look at her.
It’s not like I haven’t hooked up with my fair share of women over the last three years. I’m not proud of it, but it is what it is. We all grieve in our own ways. But this girl... I don’t know. There’s something about her that doesn’t sit right with me and I’m not sure why that is.
“I’ll let you know if I’ll require your services.” She giggles and the sound makes my chest tighten.
What the fuck?
“You do that.” I slide up to the bar next to my brother. “What’s everyone drinking?”
“Apple martini for me.” Henna is the first to answer.
“I’ll take a beer.” Aaron taps the bar.
“Peyton?” I turn to see her eyes locked on me; an expression I can’t read etched onto her pretty face.
I shake away how that look makes me feel and try to ignore the uneasiness that settles in my stomach.
“Just water for me,” she finally answers. “I’m the designated.”
“Water it is. Apple Martini.” I point to Henna. “And beer for this one.” I bump my shoulder into Aaron’s.
Once I have everyone’s drinks ordered, I hand them out one by one as Rose sets them on the bar. Rob must have told her not to charge me because she walks away without asking for any money.
“You staying to see Hollow Hound play?” Henna asks as we make our way back toward the main hall.
“I was thinking I might catch part of their set. I haven’t seen them play in a while.”
“This is going to sound bad, but do you think you could maybe introduce us to them after the show?” She sips her Apple Martini.
“I wish I could. But they’re actually leaving right after the show. They have another gig tomorrow night in Cleveland, so they aren’t hanging around.”
“Bummer.” She pouts out her bottom lip.
I open my mouth to respond, but quickly snap it closed when my phone begins to vibrate. Snagging it out of my back pocket, I smile when I see Claire’s name flash across the screen.
“Hey,” I answer, clicking the volume up so I can hear her over the noise of the crowd.
“Well, how’d it goes? Did you rock their socks off?”
“It went really well.” I turn to the side when I feel Peyton’s eyes on me. “Better than I expected.”
“See, I knew you’d be fine.” She pauses. “What are you doing now? Based on the noise in the background I’m assuming you’re still there.”
“Yeah. Actually my brother and a couple of his friends showed up.” I throw a quick glance at Aaron whose focus is solely on Henna, not paying one bit of attention to me.
“Boyfriends or girlfriends?”
“Girl.”
“Is that so?” I can hear the smile in her voice.
“It’s not like that, Claire,” I quickly correct her.
“Look, all I’m saying is if it were like that, I’d be happy for you.”
“Well it’s not, so you can keep your happiness,” I say teasingly.
“Okay, well, you never know.”
“Claire.” I cut her off before she can say more.
“Okay. Okay.” She laughs. “I’ll let you get back to your friends. We still on for dinner tomorrow?”
“I wouldn’t miss it.”
“K. See you then.”
>
“Bye, Claire.” I disconnect the call.
“Who was that?” Aaron asks as I shove my phone back into my pocket. Okay, so maybe he was listening.
“Claire.” I lift the beer bottle to my lips and take a pull.
“How’s she doing? I haven’t seen her since...” he trails off, clearly rethinking what he was going to say. Even though I already know. He hasn’t seen her since the funeral.
“She’s good.” I take another drink of beer, purposely not looking at Peyton.
It bothers me that I feel so off kilter around her. I don’t even know the girl, yet she’s made me feel more emotion in five minutes than I’ve felt in the last year combined. Albeit, mixed emotions, but emotions just the same.
You think she’s pretty. I can almost hear Finley as if she were standing right next to me.
Pretty, yes. But she’s not you.
“I think the band is getting ready to come out.” Henna offers the distraction we need, and I glance up to the stage right as the lights dim.
The band filters onto the stage within seconds and a heavy guitar riff fills the space. I try to keep my focus on them, but I have this gnawing feeling in my gut and I can’t keep myself from glancing down at Peyton who’s standing a couple feet to my right.
Her face is turned toward the stage, but something tells me she senses my eyes on her, because I no more than look at her and she’s looking back at me.
Finley’s face instantly flashes across hers and guilt slices through me. I quickly look away, taking another long drink.
I shouldn’t be here. It all feels wrong. I shouldn’t be exchanging stolen glances with another girl in our spot. I shouldn’t be standing here thinking how beautiful she is or how it would be so easy to suggest we get out of here. It would be effortless. Taking her back to my apartment, letting her make me forget for a while. But I know what comes after, and while I could stomach it halfway across the country, I don’t know if I can here. Not when so many memories of Finley are swimming around me.
It all feels like too much, too real. Like it happened yesterday. My chest begins to tighten and a hard-lump forms in the back of my throat. The urge to escape becomes impossible to ignore.
I should say goodbye. Tell my brother I’m heading out. But I’m too deep into the oncoming panic attack to even attempt it. So instead, without a word, I turn and head for the exit, my feet not able to carry me away fast enough.
Chapter Six
Peyton
“Can you believe how snazzy this place is?” Henna slides up next to me in the bridal dressing room. Tonight is our dry run of the ceremony, or rehearsal as I guess it’s typically called.
I’ve been somewhat dreading this day. But I’m not really sure why. Maybe it’s because I’m not a huge fan of weddings or being in them more specifically. Or maybe it’s because I know he will be here.
Abel.
I haven’t been able to shake him from my mind since watching him run out of House of Blues without so much as a backward glance.
I tried not to be offended, but honestly, it’s kind of impossible not to be. I’ve run it over in my head a hundred times, trying to figure out what I could have done to send him sprinting toward the door.
The only thing I’ve been able to come up with is that it didn’t have anything to do with me at all. And yet deep down I still feel like, in some weird way, it did.
“Earth to Peyton.” Henna pulls me back to the conversation, making me realize that she’s been waiting on me to respond.
“Sorry, what?” I shake my head, refocusing on my friend.
“I was just saying how nice this place is.” She gestures around the room.
She’s not wrong. The church is beautiful. I can’t say I’ve ever seen one quite so elaborate, or big for that matter.
“We’ve known Sam for years. It really shouldn’t surprise you that she would find the nicest church in Chicago to get married in.”
“True. She’s making it really difficult for the day that one of us gets married. There’s no way we’re going to be able to top this.”
“That’s what you’re worried about?” I arch a questioning brow at her. “You two have always been way too competitive for your own good.” I pause. “I wouldn’t want to match this. To me, it’s all a bit much. The reception hall, the over the top church, the dresses.” I give her a knowing look.
Our bridesmaid dresses are beautiful, but far too elaborate if you ask me. Dark blue, off the shoulder, floor length gowns, with two-foot-long lace trains. When we went in for our fittings, I couldn’t believe that she picked out bridesmaids’ dresses with trains. For one, I thought only the bride had a train on her dress, and secondly, they aren’t very practical. I’m already taking bets in my head on how many times mine will get stepped on over the course of the night.
“I’m with you on the dresses. But then again, it’s Sam.” She laughs to herself. “How would you do it?”
“How would I do what?” I question, not following.
“Your wedding. What would you do differently?”
“Everything,” I admit. “For starters, I’d rather have a small intimate ceremony. I wouldn’t have a large wedding party either. Too much work.”
“Is that your way of telling me that I won’t be in your wedding?” She looks at me expectantly.
“Guess we will see,” I tease. “Besides, I think this conversation is a bit premature considering I’m not even dating anyone. At this rate I’ll never get married.”
“You’re twenty-six, Peyton. I think what’s premature is saying you’ll never get married. You could meet the love of your life tomorrow. You never know.” She shrugs. “Sometimes we find love in the most unexpected places.”
“Uh oh.” I lift my hand to stifle a laugh.
“What?” She seems confused.
“I know that look,” I tell her. “It’s only been two weeks.”
“And?” She crosses her arms over her chest.
“Refer to my previous statement.”
“You’re always such a buzz kill.” She pouts.
“I’m not trying to be. I’m just worried.”
“Well there’s no reason to. I’m a big girl. I know what I’m doing.”
“And what about Aaron?”
“What about him?”
“Do you think he’s taking this as serious as you are?”
“I mean, I think so...” She trails off, seeming suddenly uncertain.
“Well, given that he has barely left your side in two weeks, I’d say it’s a safe bet. I swear I’ve never seen two people so consumed by each other.” I decide to throw her a bone and stop giving her such a hard time.
I try to convince myself that I’m not raining on her parade out of jealousy, but deep down I think that might be part of my problem.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m happy she’s happy. But sometimes it’s hard to watch everyone around you find someone while I feel destined to spend my life alone.
You’re the one that swore off relationships, a tiny voice in my head reminds me.
“I don’t know how to describe it.” Henna’s eyes glaze over like she’s lost in a daydream. “The way he looks at me sometimes. It’s like I’m the only person he sees. It’s exhilarating.”
“You really do have it bad.” I chuckle.
“Speaking of having it bad, Abel’s here. I saw him a couple minutes ago when I was out in the hall on my phone.”
“And I care why?” I feign disinterest.
“Oh please. You can play cool and collected all you want, but I see through you, Peyton Rivers.”
“And what is it that you think you see?” My eyebrows knit together.
“You’re totally taken with him. Not that I can blame you. He’s gorgeous. And my god can that man sing. Every female in that place was in love with him from the moment he opened his mouth. And maybe some of the men too.”
My mind jumps back to when I was standing in the crowd watching him on stage.
He was incredible. I had goose bumps by the time the first word left his mouth. And while I’ve always found musicians attractive, it’s usually their talent I’m attracted to. But in Abel’s case it’s everything. He is the entire package in every sense of the word.
“I am not taken with him,” I disagree. “I don’t even know him.”
“Please. I saw the way you two were looking at each other at the concert. There’s some serious chemistry between you two.”
“You’re delusional.” I roll my eyes.
“If I’m so delusional, then why did Aaron notice it too?”
“In case you missed it, the last time we were in the same room together he bolted like he couldn’t get away from me fast enough.”
“That had nothing to do with you.”
“And you know this how.”
“Aaron told me that House of Blues is where Abel and his wife had their first date. He thinks he took off because it was too painful for him to be there.”
“Oh.” I suck in a sharp breath. “I didn’t know that.”
“Of course you didn’t. How could you have?”
“Why didn’t you tell me sooner?”
“I didn’t think you cared.”
“I don’t, but at least it would have explained his sudden disappearance.”
“Aaron said that she was sick when they met. I guess Abel didn’t know, but once he found out he didn’t leave her side. He invested his heart fully even though he knew she was dying. They eloped in Vegas a couple weeks after she received a terminal diagnosis.”
“That’s so sad.” I have trouble ignoring the swell of emotion this information brings to the surface. “Did he say how old she was?”
“He didn’t, but she couldn’t have been very old considering Abel’s only twenty-nine and she died three years ago.”
“God, I can’t even imagine.”
“Yeah, me either.” She shakes her head, a frown turning down her lips.
“Alright, ladies.” Sam’s mom, Lilith, stands next to the double doors that lead into the hallway. “Samantha should be arriving any moment. Her and Andrew got stuck in traffic on the way here. As soon as they arrive, we are going to get started. Let’s go ahead and take our places.” All eight bridesmaids shuffle toward the door.
What Comes After Page 4