by Joss Wood
“Is this a good idea, Darby? Have you thought it through?” Levi demanded.
For God’s sake! She hadn’t done anything but think.
Darby, because sarcasm was her default setting around Levi, rolled her eyes. “I’m not going to spend tens of thousands of dollars on something I’m not sure of, Levi! For God’s sake, give me some credit!”
“Darby—”
Tired and stressed, Darby tapped her stomach. “My body, my decision, my life. I haven’t, nor will I, ask you for cash or to help me look after my baby, if and when I decide to have one. You don’t have a say.”
Darby thought she saw hurt flash in his eyes.
Then Levi surprised her by rubbing his hands over his face. “And maybe that hurts, too, Darby, that you can’t ask me. You’ll ask Mom or Jules or DJ for help, but me? Not a damn word.”
Oh, God. He was hurting. She had no idea what to say so she just stared at him. She and Levi sniped at each other, traded insults, stuck to neutral topics. They didn’t discuss anything deep; they never had.
Levi banged his coffee cup onto the kitchen table and his gaze slammed into hers. “Where did we go so wrong, Darby? Why does every conversation have to end in a fight? I just want you to be happy, to protect you! Is that so hard to understand?”
Yeah, it really was, because since she was seven years old, she’d always felt like the spare sister, the one who really didn’t matter.
She opened her mouth to say...what? She had no idea.
Levi didn’t give her the chance to respond. He did what he always did when they argued. He simply walked away.
* * *
In the apartment over the four-car garage, Judah stood back and looked around the room, the once perfectly decorated loft apartment now covered in bags holding baby stuff. Lots and lots of clothes and diapers and equipment and toys and...
God, babies needed a lot of things.
But he might, as Darby had suggested a few times, have gotten a bit carried away... Shoving his hands into his pockets, Judah looked down at the little girl asleep in her bouncy chair, her long lashes smudges on her cheeks, that perfect rosebud mouth slightly pursed. His heart stuttered.
Judah reminded himself that while this was a Kodak moment, he knew better than to be affected by the pretty picture she made. This was one of those moments life gave you to lure you into thinking raising kids wasn’t that tough, that it wasn’t as demanding as everyone said.
It was. No question about it.
Jac was a novelty, a cute distraction, but Judah knew that after a week or two of doing the same mind-numbing, repetitive tasks, boredom would kick in. Make bottles of formula, change the diaper, pray the kid went to sleep, rinse, repeat—for weeks on end. Interrupted sleep got old very quickly and being at the beck and call of a tiny infant and then a demanding toddler who couldn’t regulate her emotions or behavior was soul-numbingly, brain-meltingly boring.
He’d done it and was still convinced that having kids wasn’t an option for him. Being childless left a million doors open to him: it allowed him to live out of his suitcase doing projects all over the world. If he didn’t want to return to New York City, he didn’t have to. He could take a holiday in Prague or Patagonia if he felt the urge. Being childless meant eating out every night, watching midnight movies, attending the opening of new art galleries, clubs and restaurants.
Having kids meant saying goodbye to fun and freedom.
He’d had neither as a teenager, and he was damned if he’d lose out as an adult. Loving and raising a child—and committing himself to a relationship—meant sacrificing his career and his freedom. He couldn’t do that. He wouldn’t.
He’d give his niece, and by extension Carla, two weeks. But not a minute more.
The door to the apartment opened and Darby slipped inside, quickly closing the door to keep out the winter wind.
The slick expensive business clothes and subtle makeup were gone. Dressed up, she looked like what he knew she was, a strong independent woman in control of her life. But wearing just jeans and a simple shirt, well-worn boots on her feet and her hair pulled back into a rough ponytail, she looked younger, softer, incredibly feminine. Flat stomach, long legs, an ass that was a perfect fit for his hands. His new employee was hotter than Abu Dhabi on a scorching summer’s day.
He wanted her.
He really didn’t want to want her. He didn’t need that much trouble in his life.
So Judah pulled his brain out of the bedroom and noticed the emotion in her eyes that hadn’t been there earlier. A little pain, some confusion, too much stress. He shouldn’t be curious, but he was... She was that intriguing, that compelling.
“Everything okay?” he asked.
Her smile came too quickly, was a shade too bright. “Sure, just tired.”
She lied really well but he wasn’t fooled. She was more than just tired. Judah watched as Darby covered Jac’s new crib mattress with a sheet and stood back. Judah smiled when she picked up the teddy bear and moved it a fraction to the right. Obsessive but so damn efficient.
Jac let out a little squeak and they both whipped around, expecting to see the little girl awake. Jac’s eyes fluttered open, the lips of her rosebud mouth lifted into a tiny smile before she turned her head and slid back to sleep.
“She’s been asleep for a while now, do you think she’s okay?” he said. “Do you think they gave her too much pain medication?”
He heard the worry in his voice and knew Darby wouldn’t miss it. She lifted her hand and rubbed his shoulder. “She’s fine, Judah. She didn’t sleep well last night, and now that she’s pain-free, she’s catching up.” Darby looked at her watch. “I’m going to leave her to sleep for as long as possible, but we do have to wake her up in a few hours to give her antibiotics.”
“And she should be fine in a day or two?”
“She’ll be fine in a couple of hours,” Darby told him. “Babies usually respond quickly to medicine. Stop worrying, Daddy.”
Daddy? Judah frowned, turning the word over in his mind.
He sent her a hard stare and Darby responded by lifting one thin, arched brow. “Problem?”
Well, if she still thought Jac was his, then they did have a very big problem.
Judah held up his hand. “Just give me a second.”
Darby shrugged, reached for another packet and pulled out warm winter vests and leggings. Removing the tags, she placed the clothes in a laundry basket that held the soft towels and blankets they’d purchased.
Darby still believed he was Jac’s dad? How was that even possible? Judah thought back over the past thirty-six hours and suddenly realized that he’d allowed Darby’s original assumption to stand.
After rubbing his hands over his face, he placed his hands on his hips and stared at the floor. He’d been super reluctant to care for Jac, unwilling to play Carla’s games because he wasn’t the baby’s father, but when he looked at the situation through Darby’s eyes, he came across as an asshat of the highest order.
He lifted his head and stared at her stunning profile. “Darby.”
Darby looked at him, a tiny frown creasing her smooth forehead. She had the most gorgeous skin, soft and smooth.
“Darby, I’ve just realized that you have the wrong end of a very large stick.”
“I do?”
“Yeah. Jac isn’t my daughter,” Judah told her and waited for the words to penetrate.
Darby looked from him to Jac and back again. “I know you would like her not to be, but she looks just like you,” she quietly responded.
Judah allowed himself a small smile at her diplomacy. “She looks just like my half brother, who looks just like me.”
Darby opened her mouth, snapped it closed and opened it again. Swallowing, she held up her finger. This time it was her asking for a minute. Judah was happy to give it to her,
God knew he wasn’t eager to discuss the details of his brother’s affair with Judah’s girlfriend.
“Well, that explains a hell of a lot.”
Was that really relief he heard in her voice, a little more respect? He met her eyes and saw those emotions crossing her face. He had to force his wobbly knees to lock.
Why, on such short acquaintance, did her opinion matter so much? But the relief he felt at having that faint veil of censure removed was more than he’d expected, deeper than he’d imagined.
Now for the inquisition, the long list of questions. He owed her some answers since he’d been an idiot not to realize she was acting on bad information.
Darby surprised him by placing the back of her fingers on Jac’s forehead, then her cheeks. “She hasn’t developed a temperature, so I think we caught the infection before it got out of control.”
They were talking about Jac and her ear infection again. Thank God. He’d take the change of subject.
Judah rubbed the back of his neck. “I feel sick wondering how long she’s been in pain.” He sat down on the couch and placed his ankle on his knee. “Carla isn’t the most attentive mother, I doubt she would’ve noticed, but you did, straightaway. Thank you.”
“Years of babysitting.” Darby rolled a tiny pair of socks together.
He shuddered. “By choice?”
She smiled at his horror. “Well, no one held a gun to my head and made me do it.”
No guns had been involved in his house, but coercion, expectation and bullying had been powerful weapons. “Didn’t you want to do what normal teenagers did? Dating, partying, sports?”
“Why do you assume that I didn’t do those things, too? I did, I just looked after babies in between.”
Oh, balance. Not a concept his father and stepmom were familiar with.
Darby sat down in the chair across from him and faced him. “I’m not going to pepper you with questions about Carla and your brother, so relax. But I do just want to say one thing—”
Judah braced himself for her words, told himself not to react.
“In light of what you’ve just told me, I deeply respect you taking Jac and looking after her.”
Okay... Not what he’d been expecting. But he couldn’t accept her praise.
“What else could I do, Darby? Her mom is in the hospital, my brother is God-knows-where, Jake’s parents—” they’d disowned Judah, so he wouldn’t call them his parents “—are useless and I couldn’t let her go into foster care.” He raked his fingers through his hair. “Yeah, having a baby is disrupting but she’s nine months old, none of this is her fault. I will do what I need to do for a couple of weeks. It’s not a life sentence.”
A small smile touched Darby’s sexy mouth. “And you aren’t planning to become emotionally attached to her?”
He wasn’t prepared to become emotionally attached to anyone. Besides, how attached could you become to someone in a few short weeks? “That’s the plan.”
Her amazing smile reached her eyes. “Let me know how that works out for you.”
“I don’t allow attachments, Darby.” He wasn’t sure whom he was reminding, her or himself. “It’s not what I do.”
She didn’t break eye contact, didn’t squirm or fidget. She just looked at him with eyes the color of soft rain clouds. She opened her mouth to speak, closed her eyes and shook her head. When she looked at him again, she wore a back-to-business expression.
“Jac’s asleep and should sleep for a little while yet. We have the baby monitors working. Would you like to look at the study, see where we’ll work?”
“No. I want to take you to bed. Any thoughts on that?” The words flew out of his mouth before he could stop them and while he wanted to regret them, he couldn’t.
Darby stared at him, a little shocked, a lot turned on.
She had thoughts. Lots and lots of thoughts. Some scary. But most were variations of the phrases yes, please and take me now.
Darby watched as Judah walked over to her and placed his hands on the arms of her chair, bending his head so she could taste his sweet breath, watch desire flicker in his eyes.
He had a small scar on the underside of his chin and his tanned neck was a perfect contrast to his white shirt. Smooth warm skin to explore, thick hair to shove her fingers into, a mouth to lose herself in.
He could be her last act of madness before she headed toward single motherhood. Before she put herself on this journey that was all hope, potential heartbreak and hormones. Before she became someone’s mother, she could be Darby.
Judah could be her last chance to experience desire, to lose herself in lust.
It had been so long, and she was so out of practice but since she was a woman who didn’t club or barhop, didn’t socialize that much outside of time with her family, she hadn’t had many chances to meet a guy she felt attracted to and comfortable enough to give her body to. Judah might be her last hope for good sex for a long, long time.
Despite not knowing him for very long, she knew she’d be safe with him. Judging by that kiss, he’d be a considerate lover. She’d be safe in his hands. She was almost thirty, a strong, empowered woman who wasn’t afraid to express her sexuality. She could do this; she should do this.
Yeah...nope.
He was too much. It was too soon. The attraction between them was too intense, too out of control. He would be like riding a wild horse, exciting but uncontrollable.
Darby forced herself to stand up, to brush nonexistent lint off her jeans. “My only thoughts are that we should get to work. We’ve got a lot to do.”
Judah’s smile was both gentle and determined. “We’re going to have to deal with this chemistry at some point, Darby.”
Probably. But only when she felt like she could contain the resulting explosion.
Seven
After two days of dealing with urgent business in New York, Judah ran up the stairs to the Georgian-inspired house in Boston. Before he could reach the top step, Darby opened the door and Judah allowed his eyes to skim over her, his excited heart settling and sighing. He was...
God, he’d almost said home.
He was back. That would do.
Jac, from her seat on Darby’s hip, handed him a gummy drooling smile and waved her arms in the air. She leaned toward him and Judah felt a rush of unexpected pleasure at her gesture, idly wishing that Darby would fall into his arms as easily.
“Hey, mouse,” Judah murmured, taking Jac and brushing his chin across her downy head. He’d missed her and that surprised him. He’d been reluctant to leave Jac, but Darby assured him that she could handle two nights on her own with the baby, that Darby’s mother would help if Darby needed her to. He’d left, thinking he’d be so swamped in New York that he wouldn’t have time to think about Jac or Darby. He’d also thought he’d welcome being diaper- and drool-free.
The opposite had happened.
He’d been in the middle of a presentation and seen a pigeon fly past the conference room’s window. He’d thought of Jac and her laughter every time she saw a bird. Or a dog. A cat. A butterfly.
He’d been talking about floor space and eco-efficiency when the image of Darby bent over a desk, her nose wrinkling in concentration, flashed on the big screen of his mind. Long legs, blond hair, sexy as hell.
His concentration had taken a beating.
“I was about to take Jac for a run, she loves it.” Darby gestured to the three-wheeled stroller. “How was New York?”
“Good. Busy.”
Darby lifted her arms, gathered all that silky hair and pulled it into a rough ponytail, raking the strands back with her fingers. She pulled a band from her wrist and Judah watched her chest rise, her small nipples puckering in the cold wind blowing through the open door. He felt the movement in his pants and sighed.
He’d had a proposal for no-strings
sex in New York, but he’d declined. He wanted sex, but the only person he could imagine in his bed was Darby.
And she was the one person he absolutely couldn’t have. Because if something went wrong, he’d not only lose the services of a fantastic architect who was anything but an intern, but also the person sharing the looking-after-Jac load.
Sleeping with Darby would be a stupid thing to do, but the more he tried not to think about it, the more he did. Now wanting her was becoming pretty much all consuming...
Great.
“Blow off your run and let’s go for breakfast. It’s Saturday, the sun is finally shining and we are on schedule, so we can take the day,” Judah suggested.
He’d just got home, and he hadn’t seen her for days. If she went for a run, he might not see her again for hours.
Darby walked onto the porch and headed for the enclosed back corner. The sun was weak there, but in this corner they were out of the wind and it was almost pleasant. She shook her head. “Why don’t you phone the club, hire a sitter for an hour to look after Jac and come with me?” Humor danced in her eyes. “If you can keep up...”
Judah sat down on the porch swing and placed Jac on his knee. He sent Darby a steady look. “Put that competitive streak away, Brogan. Besides, we both know that in any race I’d whip your ass.”
The I-can-take-you spark in her eyes morphed into ten-foot-high flames. “Want to test that theory? I bet you’d spend the whole time eating my dust.”
“The only reason I’d be behind you was to watch your spectacular ass.”
Desire jumped into her eyes, softened her mouth, made her nipples tighten. He was about to stand, to pull her in for a kiss, when the door behind them opened.
Cursing, Judah watched Levi Brogan step onto the porch. He frowned at Judah and darted an enigmatic glance at Darby. “Judah, this is my brother, Levi. Levi, Judah Huntley. I’m working with him on the Grantham-Ford commission.”
Judah shook Levi’s hand and did an internal eye roll when Levi squeezed his hand harder than necessary. It was a mess-with-my-sister-and-I’ll-mess-you-up squeeze.