She sighed. “I just don’t like him. Have you ever had a pet dog?”
“We had cats.”
“Okay, so did any of your cats ever take an immediate dislike to someone?”
“They didn’t really like anyone. Including us. We weren’t allowed to pet them.”
“Okay, well.” She paused to think. “Imagine a friendly dog that loves everyone but this one particular person. Nobody knows why, it’s just instinct for the dog not to like them.”
“Are you comparing yourself to a dog?” I asked.
“Wolves, dogs, the basic instinct is the same.”
“So you completely hate Liam but you don’t know why.”
She nodded. “Exactly. Call it instinct and my instincts are never wrong. That boy is trouble and should be avoided at all costs.”
She was right. I did need to stay away from Liam. Maybe there was something to werewolf instinct. Cress was right about me, after all. She was the only person at the academy that had pegged me as a roach without any evidence.
We joined the very long queue in the dining hall and fought for a table to eat. The whole night passed by quickly as gossip spread around the school.
Some people were saying their parents were threatening to transfer them to another academy. Too many roaches was a sign of poor management. The school would become a laughing stock of the academic world soon.
There was plenty of talk about the Black Cloaks too. We’d all seen them on television growing up and heard tales about how ruthless they were. Seeing them in person and up close today brought all the fear to the light for many.
Including me. I could go a lifetime without seeing another Black Cloak and be happy. It was nice when we finished eating to escape all the chatter.
Cress insisted I sleep on her floor again so I made my bed with a pillow and blanket and snuggled in. The two werewolves snored all night. I didn’t mind though, it was somewhat comforting knowing I wasn’t alone there.
The following day was Sunday and I had nothing planned. Cress and Claire were going for a run. They invited me but there was no way I could keep up with the two of them. When they ran, they bolted. Olympians would have trouble keeping up with them.
I decided to spend some more time in the library and get on top of Rosa’s homework. I actually found I kind of enjoyed it. The second year classes were challenging but interesting. I learned so much more about the supernatural world than I thought possible.
I’d settled into study mode and only emerged from the library when I was hungry. I went to grab a sandwich from the dining hall, fully expecting to take it back to my desk and keep going.
I chose a salad sandwich on wheat bread and headed for the door. Already I was planning what class I’d work on next.
Until I ran into Liam.
“Hey, I’ve been looking for you,” he said. His hair was slightly damp and framed his face beautifully. I didn’t think his eyes could stand out any more but he was proving me wrong.
Cress’s words replayed in my mind like a little angel sitting on my shoulder. “Yeah, I’ve been studying. I have a lot to do, I’m a bit behind.”
“We hardly have any homework. It’s the first week.”
“There’s always extra reading to get on top of.”
He stared at me for a moment. “You need a break. You can’t peak too soon and make the rest of us look bad.”
Ha! If only he knew.
“I promise I won’t overachieve,” I replied.
His hand slid down to find mine. Next minute, he was tugging me toward the door of the dining hall. “Give me an hour. You can eat your lunch and then disappear again.”
I shouldn’t.
I really shouldn’t.
But he was just so damn gorgeous. And what was an hour, really? I’d worked so hard all morning. I deserved a break.
Right?
“Fine,” I said.
“Good, follow me.”
Chapter 16
Liam took me to the one place where he knew I’d find the most peace—the forest.
We walked for about twenty minutes before we reached a particularly thick clump of trees. Liam pulled away branches to reveal a patch of grass that overlooked the entire valley.
The view was breathtaking. Even if I hadn’t been raised to give full respect to nature and its elements, I would find the outlook spectacular.
The greenest of green trees ran down both sides of the valley and met in the middle beside a river that cut a path right through. It was a glorious day with a blue sky and fluffy little white clouds.
“What do you think?” Liam asked. As a warlock, I imagined he felt the same as I did right at that moment. In awe of the goddess and all her creations.
“I think it’s been a long time since I’ve seen anything quite as extraordinary,” I replied. “Do you come here often?”
“When I want to de-stress.”
He sat on the lush green grass and I did the same. I could have sat there and enjoyed the landscape for hours. I wished I had that much time.
“How did you find this spot?” I asked.
“I have spent a lot of time here since moving into the academy.”
“No one misses you?”
“Only when I’ve done something wrong.”
I wanted to ask a thousand more questions but didn’t want to interrogate him. I had already gathered that his relationship with his father was fractured. Principal Dunlop didn’t come across as a particularly friendly or nice person. Liam would know the truth of that better than anyone else.
My stomach grumbled loudly in the solace of the forest. “Sorry.”
“Go ahead and eat your lunch.”
“You don’t mind?”
“Of course not.”
I took out my sandwich and started eating. I could feel the power of the trees around me. They offered shade, comfort, and reassurance. If they could survive and live for hundreds of years, surely I could last three years at the academy.
It would be difficult and every day a challenge, but perhaps I really could do it. I had survived looking into the face of a Black Cloak and they hadn’t discovered my secret. As long as nobody else found out, I just might be able to slip under the radar.
Which reminded me of what I was thinking about the day before. “Can I ask you something?”
“Shoot,” Liam replied.
“All the roaches that are being found and taken away, what makes them stand out from the regular students here?”
He paused, thinking. “Maybe it’s just bad luck.”
“Surely there has to be more to it? The Black Cloak and your dad were looking for something yesterday. It seemed their search was very pointed,” I said. I hoped I wasn’t coming across as too interested in the roaches. It was a fine line to walk.
“I’m not supposed to know what it is they looked for.”
“I won’t tell anyone.” I could barely breathe as I waited for him to tell me. He basically just confessed to knowing, he couldn’t keep it to himself now.
“It’s in their auras.”
“Their auras?” If that were true, I was completely screwed. I hadn’t heard of anything that a person could do to change their aura. The hope I had felt just minutes earlier evaporated like a puff of smoke.
“Yeah, there are little flecks of black in a roach’s aura. It’s barely noticeable unless you really know what you’re looking for. Only a good seer can spot them. All the Black Cloaks that were here yesterday were also seers.”
Then why hadn’t they found the black flecks that were in my aura? The Black Cloak I had encountered had stared at me, entered my personal space, and still let me go.
I couldn’t say that to Liam and I couldn’t let the silence linger for too long. “I can see why they wouldn’t want that getting out. People would be working on how to disguise their auras to go undetected.”
“I’m not sure how successful they would be.”
“Is it even possible?”
Liam shrugged. “You know how supernaturals are, we like to test the limits on everything. I’m sure there is probably a black market for spells or something to help with the black flecks.”
I filed away that information to explore later. Maybe there was something I could do about my aura. If I had to delve pretty deeply into the black magic market, I would do it. I was willing to do anything to save my life.
“My roommate said there isn’t usually this many roaches in a new class. Have you seen this many in one year before?” I asked. I needed information. It could be the only weapon I had.
“I think there was one last year, maybe the same the year before. I never really paid that much attention in the past,” he replied.
The past. Did that mean he was paying particular attention this year? Was he likely to realize my secret? Did he already know about it?
My salad sandwich churned in my stomach. It was stupid of me to think I might have lasted an entire year at the academy. I was surprise I’d lasted the one week.
Liam’s gaze went from the beautiful view to me. My heartbeat kicked up a few notches under his intense look. “You don’t need to worry about the roaches. The council will make sure they don’t tell the humans about us.”
I forced a smile. “Yeah, I know. I’m sure the council knows what they are doing. I’m just curious, I guess. I haven’t really seen any non-supernaturals before.”
“You’re safe here.”
“Yeah.”
Our eyes locked together and I wanted to believe him so much. I wanted to feel safe more than anything else in the world. But that option for me had been wiped as soon as my powers didn’t show up on my eighteenth birthday.
He started leaning in to me. Just like a magnet, I could feel the pull he had on me. I leaned in too, meeting in the middle as our lips found one another.
His lips were just as soft as I thought they’d be. His hand cupped my cheek and then buried itself in my hair. He held me so gently, so affectionately that the rest of the world disappeared for a few moments.
I wanted that kiss to last forever. I wanted it to wipe out all the fear and terrible thoughts in my head. I wanted to be the witch that my parents had always hoped I would be. I wanted to live so that I could continue to kiss him every single day for the rest of our lives.
But it wasn’t to be. In the end, it was just a kiss and he didn’t know what I was. If he knew…he wouldn’t want to kiss me anymore.
I pulled back and broke the connection, the daydream. I stared into his blue eyes and saw only confusion there. In mine, he probably saw panic.
“I have to get back,” I said as I stood up. Not even our gorgeous surroundings could make up for the coldness that I felt inside now.
Being with Liam was a future I could never have. I wasn’t even guaranteed a future beyond today. I needed to remember that before my hopes got too high again.
“I’ll walk with you,” he said.
“It’s okay,” I replied, waving him away. “I’ll see you around at the academy.”
I didn’t look back. He wouldn’t have seen the tears that slid down my cheeks. I quickly wiped them away so that nobody would.
I wanted this life. I wanted to be the kind of witch my parents had hoped I would be. I wanted to kiss the cute guy and then gossip about it with my friends. I wished my biggest problem was fitting in my social life with all the homework I had to do.
But that would never be me and somehow I had to be okay with that. Perhaps there wasn’t a way and that’s why the council dealt with all the roaches. Maybe we all ended up wanting to tell the human world the truth so we could shatter the lives of those we envied.
If we couldn’t have that life, why should they?
Deep in my heart I knew I never would say anything about the existence of supernaturals. I would never betray my family, even if they no longer wanted to speak with me and my presence made them uncomfortable.
Halfway back to the female dorms I realized I didn’t actually have anywhere to go. I couldn’t keep sleeping on Cress’s floor. It was putting her in danger and if anyone found out, she would get in trouble. Plus, her roommate would have started getting suspicious soon.
I stood outside the doorway to the dorms and wondered what the hell I was going to do with myself. If I left the academy, I wouldn’t have anywhere to go and I’d be hunted. If I stayed here, I still didn’t have a place to call my home.
Everything felt so temporary. I wasn’t actually a student here. What I really was would be a blip on the radar. Once discovered, I would be dealt with and everyone else would continue on like nothing had happened.
Even Cress. Especially Liam.
I wouldn’t leave my mark here as anything more than a name for the news report on my capture. Another roach that had been exterminated.
It was almost laughable. Eighteen years of waiting excitedly for this moment and then…a blip on the radar. I want to cry and shout and scream all at once.
What the hell was I supposed to do now?
I remembered how Liam said my aura would have black flecks in it. If that single thing was going to cause my downfall, I needed to know how bad it was.
Rosa was a seer. It was worth a shot asking her about it. Maybe the Black Cloaks hadn’t got to me yet because my black flecks were only small. Perhaps they needed to get bigger or brighter or something before I was hauled away.
I trudged up the stairs to dorm 396 and knocked on the door. I counted to five before I turned the handle and opened the wooden door.
Rosa was sitting at her desk. “What are you doing here? I hope it’s delivering my homework.”
I shook my head. I couldn’t deal with her shit right now. “You’re a seer.”
“So? You’re a non-witch. Your point?”
“Can you see my aura?”
She rolled her eyes. “Of course I can. That’s the whole point of being a seer, right? I see things.”
I took a few more steps to fill the gap between us. “What color is my aura?”
“It’s a mix of yellow and blue in different parts. I take it you’re upset about something?”
“Yeah.” Although she probably didn’t need to see my aura to work that out. My eyes were probably red from my little crying episode. “Look closer. Do you see anything else in there?”
Rosa squinted for a second before rolling her eyes again. She certainly was the queen of the eye roll. “What am I supposed to be seeing?”
“Are there any black flecks?”
“Why would there be black flecks in your aura?”
I tried so had not get annoyed with her. “Just look. Really hard. Is there any black?”
This time she spent more like half a minute squinting. At least she was taking my request seriously now. She sat back in her chair and relaxed her expression. “There are no black flecks.”
“You’re sure?”
“Yes, of course I’m sure. I have eyes, I know what black flecks would look like.”
If I didn’t have the mark of the non-supernaturals, what on earth did that mean? Maybe that was why I’d managed to go unnoticed for an entire week when so many others had been caught.
Was Liam wrong?
He’d seemed so sure that was what the Black Cloaks were looking for. Maybe he’d overheard his father talk about it or saw documents he wasn’t allowed to see. However he found that information, he was convinced it was true.
I took a few steps to sit on the bed. I needed to think everything through and work out a plan. If I didn’t have the black flecks, maybe I could continue here without anyone finding out.
But, then again, I would be discovered the second one of the professors asked me to perform a spell. I still couldn’t do magic, there was no way to hide that.
“Stop being so weird,” Rosa said as she cut into my thoughts. “What’s wrong with you?”
I looked up. “Have you ever heard of a witch with no powers but they weren’t a roach?”
Her arms cro
ssed over she chest. “If you’re trying to get out of doing my homework—”
“It’s got nothing to do with that. Tell me, have you heard of someone like that?”
“No. If you have no powers, you’re a roach. End of story.”
End of story. And yet a Black Cloak had come within inches of me and still didn’t notice I was a non-supernatural. How was that possible?
“You’re creeping me out. You should leave,” Rosa said. “I don’t need to be involved in whatever you’ve got going on.”
I stood without saying another word. I couldn’t speak. My mind was in a whirlwind state. I had all these thoughts spinning around and nothing to tie them together so they made sense.
There was only one place that could offer me any kind of help. I stumbled back to the main building and entered the library. I needed to find out more information about roaches. There had to be something more to them that I was missing. Something to make it all make sense.
Book after book, I searched. The sky outside went dark while I was still skimming through ancient pages of text. My stomach grumbled but I didn’t care. I needed a shower but that would have to wait. My cell phone pinged a few times with messages from Cress and Liam. They would have to wait too.
My eyes were sore and my head ached but I kept going. I was desperate for information and none of the books seemed to have what I needed.
I even tried Googling it. Surprisingly, there was nothing. Plenty of things about witches but only a quarter of it was true. Humans really didn’t fully comprehend what we were.
No, not me, what they were. I wasn’t a witch.
The darkness outside turned to morning. I was so tired but very wired from the cheap coffee the vending machine dispensed in the hallway. I didn’t know how to stop. It felt too much like giving up.
I wasn’t prepared to give up on my life. Not yet and not like this. I had to work out what the hell was going on.
Like, yesterday.
I had to get some air. If I wasn’t ready to sleep, eat, or shower, then I at least needed to get outside and let nature restore some of my sanity.
Leaving the books where they were, I stumbled outside and into the gardens below. It was still too early for most students to be up. Classes didn’t start for another couple of hours yet.
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