He didn’t blink. Didn’t move a muscle or even breathe for the longest moment of my life. Finally, he asked, “Why.”
I shrugged and clasped my fingers together in my lap so he wouldn’t see the way they shook. “I guess I was just thinking about Mom and Dad lately and I got curious. You know me,” I said with a nervous laugh.
He pressed his lips together and kept quiet for so long, I almost just spit out the truth. I was seconds away from opening my mouth and word vomiting when he finally spoke.
“What do you want to know?”
I let out a tiny sigh of relief before shrugging. “I don’t know,” I said slowly as I struggled to come up with an answer that didn’t give Ellie away. What she wanted to know was how a bitten wolf could be fated to be with a born wolf, but I couldn’t tell him that. She was the only bitten wolf any of us knew. If I mentioned it, he’d instantly know I was talking about her and that would just set off a whole series of events I wanted to avoid at all costs.
So, I said the first thing that came to me. “Like, how do you know?”
The corner of his lips tilted into a small smile as the suspicious look slid from his face only to be replaced by a wistful one. “You just know, Callie. It’s hard to describe, but it’s like the world stops the second you see them. The moment your eyes meet, there’s nothing else in the world but you and them. A bomb could go off, the ground could open up, the sky could fall and none of that even touches you. It’s just you and them and you know, deep in your bones, it’ll always be like that.”
It took me a second too long to realize my jaw was hanging open, because when Abraham looked back over at me, he frowned again. But I could barely focus on that.
Because inside I was having a full-blown panic attack.
My mind spun around and around, while my heart pumped painfully in my chest and my hands began to sweat.
It’s like the world stops the second you see them.
Oh no.
No, no, no, no, no.
It couldn’t be. There was no way. I wouldn’t accept it.
“You need to be with them all the time,” he continued. “When they’re around, it’s like you’re whole again. And when they’re gone too long, your body revolts. Like it’s been missing an organ for too long. You can’t eat, you can’t sleep, you can barely focus without them. The longer they’re away, the worse it is. You saw me when El used to live in Raleigh. You know what I was like.”
I did.
What I hadn’t put together until then was I’d been going through the same thing.
I’d blamed it on missing him, but that wasn’t really it, was it?
Every time Wyatt had to leave to go to Raleigh with Ellie, it got worse. The headaches, the sleepless nights, the sluggish days. I’d blamed it on everything under the sun but the one thing it actually was.
Wyatt and I were fated mates.
And I was going to throw up.
Chapter 31
Wyatt
“Mornin’ love,” were just about my favorite words to say.
Callie looked up at me and smiled that beautiful, sleepy smile before snuggling closer. And that was why I’d say that same exact expression to her every morning until the day I died.
“Morning,” she croaked.
I kissed the top of her curly head and dragged her closer. Her skin was warm as I pressed her bare chest against my own. We’d come to the agreement long ago that when we were in bed, clothes were optional. Lucky for me, she usually opted to go without.
I kissed her forehead, and both her eyelids, loving the way her pink lips curled into a smile just for me.
“You ready for today?” I asked as I rubbed circles along the length of her spine.
She let out a deep breath and nodded. “So ready. I feel like I’ve been waiting forever for this day.”
I kissed her again. I honestly couldn’t help myself. “It’s been a long time comin’, but you deserve it. It’s because of your hard work and dedication that there even is an Asheville Initiative. Now you get to save the world on a larger scale.”
She smiled and closed her eyes again as my fingers trailed up and down her back. She sighed softly and I knew, right then and there, that I’d never been happier in my entire life.
“If you wanna get up and get dressed, I thought I could take you to breakfast before your first day,” I murmured into her soft hair.
She pulled back and opened one eye. “Huh?”
I smiled and shrugged. “I already borrowed Wes’ truck so I can help you bring the last of your stuff. And after breakfast, I thought you could give me a tour of your new building.”
Her eyes kept getting wider the longer I talked until they were pale blue saucers in her face. She blinked slowly and then averted her gaze. That was the first sign something wasn’t right.
“You don’t need to bring me to work. I think I can manage in my car,” she said as she carefully folded the sheets down before pulling them back up to her chest and smoothing them out again.
I frowned at her, my stomach starting to tighten with something I couldn’t name. “Okay, drive yourself then. But we can still get breakfast, right? And I still wanna see your new lab.”
She kept her eyes on her fingers as they continued to flatten out invisible wrinkles, and that feeling in my stomach intensified. “Maybe breakfast today isn’t such a good idea. I don’t want to be late.”
I looked past her to the alarm clock on her nightstand that told me we’d have plenty of time, but I shook my head and decided not to push it. “Okay, no problem. We can get breakfast another day. Can I still come by and see the place? You’ve been talking about it for ages and I’m curious.”
Callie sighed and sat up, her hands clutching the sheet to her chest as she slid out of bed. “Today’s probably not the best day to do that.”
I propped myself up on an elbow and watched as she pulled the sheet from the bed and headed toward the bathroom. “Okay, when will be a good day? I’m free all week.”
She shrugged but wouldn’t meet my eyes. “I’m not sure, Wyatt. I’ll have to see how things go.”
It was the fact that she wouldn’t look at me, wouldn’t meet my eyes that finally tipped the scales. I threw the blanket off and crawled out of her bed.
“Callie, what’s goin’ on?”
She leaned over to look at her laptop and shrugged. “Nothing’s going on. You know I’m just busy.”
“Too busy to give me a minute of your time? Too busy to look at me?”
She sighed again and finally turned around, but her eyes wouldn’t meet mine. “What are you talking about, Wyatt?”
That feeling in the pit of my stomach grew stronger, picking up steam until it was full-blown dread. “Why don’t you want to spend time with me today?”
She shook her head and propped a hand on her hip. “You know today’s a big day. I don’t have time for anything but work.”
I took a step closer, my hands fisting at my sides. “It’s not just today, it’s every day. You’re always putting off plans with me. Why?”
“No, I don’t. I see you every day. You spend every night in my bed.”
I scoffed. “Yeah and I’m not allowed to come over until everyone’s asleep. You only want to see me when no one else can see us. Isn’t that right?”
Her spine stiffened as she clutched the sheet to her chest. “Wyatt, you know I don’t want to deal with my family when it comes to us. You know how I feel about that.”
“Yeah. I do. But it’s been months. How long do we have to keep doing this?”
She shrugged and turned away again. “I don’t know, but I don’t have time for this today.”
“Callie, you’re gonna make time. I think I deserve that much at least.”
“Why are you pushing this? Why are you pushing me? Aren’t you happy with the way things are?”
“No. I’m not.”
She flinched and I instantly regretted my words, but they were out there and there was n
o taking them back now. “If you weren’t happy, you should have said something.”
I waved a hand between us. “This is me saying something. I’m sick of only seeing you in the dark. I don’t care what your family says. I don’t care what the pack says. I love you and I want everyone to know it. I’m done hiding us.”
“Well, I’m not.”
I ran a rough hand through my short hair. My mind spun with accusations and insecurities and I tried so hard to swallow them down, but they’d been pushed aside for long enough. The boiling mess inside me was pushing them up and out and there was no stopping them now.
“What’s this really about?”
She frowned and turned to me, her eyes focusing somewhere near my chin. “What do you mean?”
“I mean your family isn’t that bad and I know you don’t give a fuck what most of the pack thinks, so why are we still in hiding? Is there something more to it?”
She rolled her eyes and jutted that hip out further. “Like what, Wyatt?”
I didn’t want to say it out loud. I didn’t even want to think it, but years and years of conditioning had led to this and it was all I knew. “Are you embarrassed to be with me?”
Her eyes widened as they finally met mine. “No! Why would you say that?!”
I laughed humorlessly and shook my head as I swept a hand around the room. “Look around, Callista. Really look. I’m a dirty little secret.”
“You are not.”
“No? Then let’s go tell your sisters right now that we’re seeing each other. We’ll go down to breakfast together and tell the rest of the pack.”
She bit her lip and turned away, giving me enough of an answer without her having to say a word.
“That’s what I thought.”
She turned back around, her eyes blazing. “You don’t get to decide those kinds of things, Wyatt. You don’t get to choose what I say to who or when. It’s my life and it’s my decision.”
“You don’t think it affects me too? You don’t think I get a say in this?”
She shrugged. “No. You don’t.”
I pressed my lips together as the hurt and anger competed for dominance inside me. My heart though, all it felt was pain as I watched the woman I loved more than anything stand there and give me the same excuses I’d heard all my life.
I didn’t want to say what I said next, but it was almost like I didn’t have a choice. The words spilled out of my mouth before I could stop them. “I’ve been in this position before, Callie. I know what it means, and I know where it leads.”
Her spine stiffened again as she turned narrow eyes toward me. “You think I want to hear about all the other women you’ve slept with? You think that’s going to help in this situation?”
I threw my hands in the air. “I wouldn’t be bringing them up if you weren’t acting exactly like every single one of them!”
Her mouth fell open in shock, but I wasn’t done.
“You think I don’t know the sister of the alpha has no business shacking up with a half-breed? You think I don’t know what people will say? You think I don’t live every damn day of my life knowing you don’t belong with me? But here I am, crawling in your bedroom window every night because I can’t be without you. Because I love you too much to let you go. But every morning I wake up and crawl back out that window with my tail between my legs and my aching heart on my sleeve knowing I’ll do it all again because I can’t stay away. Because I fucking love you.”
She just kept watching me, her eyes wide and her mouth hanging open. When it was clear she wasn’t going to say anything, I drove the last nail in the coffin, knowing where it would lead and also knowing it was inevitable.
“Just tell me one thing, Callie, and I’ll drop the rest. Just do me one favor and I’ll stomach the secrecy for a little while longer.”
She kept quiet, but her throat bobbed with a harsh swallow and her hands gripped the sheet even tighter.
I licked my lips and looked at the floor for a moment, noticing the space between us. I wondered if we’d ever be closer than this again after what I had to say next.
With all the bravery I had in me, I met her eyes and asked her one question. “Do you love me?”
Somehow, her mouth opened even wider. She looked away and my heart dropped to the base of my stomach. “Wyatt, you can’t just –”
“Yes, I can. I have to. I need to know. Tell me you love me, and I’ll let the rest of it go. Tell me you love me like I love you and I’ll learn to live with everything else.”
She met my eyes again and, in her gaze, I saw the answer there, and it wasn’t the one I’d been hoping for. She blinked over and over but said nothing, and that spoke volumes.
My heart felt like it was actually breaking in two as I watched the love of my life balk at the thought of telling me she loved me too. Maybe I’d been delusional all this time. Maybe all those moments I’d thought were love were nothing more than infatuation and lust. Maybe I was a fucking idiot.
I closed my eyes for a single moment before nodding once and turning around. “That’s what I thought,” I said softly, but it echoed in the quiet room.
I snatched my clothes off her floor and walked to the window for the last time. I wanted so badly to look at her again. Just one more glance so I could study her face and find the deep emotion I prayed was really there, but I couldn’t. I couldn’t take the chance it really wasn’t there, so like a coward, I kept my back turned to her.
I swung her window open and crawled out without another word. She didn’t say anything either and she didn’t try to stop me, which should have told me all I needed to know. I landed on the covered porch on the ground floor and then jumped to the grass, all the while waiting to hear her call after me.
But she never did.
***
“All right, Alpha. I’m on my way.”
Wes tucked his cell in his pocket and turned to me. “I’m heading downtown to Callie’s new office. You comin’ with?”
Fuck no was what came to mind, but what I said out loud was, “I’m good.” I wondered why the alpha was calling him down there, but knew I shouldn’t care, so I didn’t ask.
I’m not sure if it was unfortunate or fortunate that my brother was chatty, because he kept talking. “He told me to bring Aubrey and some cleaning supplies but didn’t say what for. He sounded really upset though. I wonder what’s going on.”
I shrugged and flipped the page of my magazine. “Guess you’ll find out when you get there.”
My brother was quiet for a minute as I worked to ignore him. Unfortunately, that didn’t last.
“What’s going on with you, bro? You’re being a moody shit again and it’s getting on my nerves.”
I shrugged again. “Feel free to fuck off then.”
He stomped over and ripped the magazine from my hands. “I’m serious. You were even short with Mom last night and you know that shit’s not cool.”
Shame burst to life inside my chest because I knew he was right. Mom had tried to have a similar conversation with me the night before and I’d been kind of an asshole. But was it my fault it was the fifth time that day she’d had the same talk with me? I didn’t want to discuss it, but no one would listen.
“I already apologized to her. We’re good.”
“Well, I’m not. And since when do you not want to see Callie? Something’s going on down there and you don’t even want to find out what that is?”
“I’m sure I’ll hear about it eventually.”
My brother sighed heavily and shoved my feet off the ottoman before planting his ass there instead. He dipped his head until he caught my gaze. “I’m serious, Wy. What’s up. I’m your brother. I deserve to know.”
Didn’t we all deserve shit we weren’t going to get?
“I really don’t wanna talk about it.”
“Well, tough nuts. We’re talking about it. And I have about five minutes before I gotta haul ass downtown, so get to talking.”
I
blew out a deep breath and let my head fall back on the cushion behind me. I really didn’t want to have this conversation, but if it had to be with anyone, I guess the dude I shared a womb with wasn’t a bad choice.
“I had a fight with Callie, okay?”
He squinted his eyes at me, their depths suspicious. “You’re still fucking her, aren’t you?”
“Well, not currently.”
Wes smirked and leaned back. “Obviously not, fuck face. But, I mean, that’s the problem, right? Y’all were jamming the clam and now you’re not, you’ve got your balls in a twist.”
My brother was so fucking eloquent.
“It wasn’t like that.”
“Then what’s it like?”
“I told you I really don’t wanna talk about it.”
“And I told you tough nuts.”
“Wes, this really isn’t the time to push me.”
He squinted at me again as he studied me. Suddenly, his jaw fell open and his eyes widened. “You fell in love, didn’t you, you sorry son of a bitch.”
I shrugged, not willing to answer, but also not willing to lie about it.
“Aw, man, Wy. What the fuck were you thinking? She’s the alpha’s sister!”
“Yeah, so?”
He shook his head and sighed. “Wy, you know how it is just as well as I do. They’re on another level than us. They’re not for us, brother.”
The anger that was always close to the surface these days began to bubble as I fisted my hands. “If you’re trying to say she’s too good for me, I’m well aware. Why do you think I’m here with your sorry ass instead of in her bed? Now can we please drop it?”
“I wish we could, but as long as you’re being a little bitch, I’m going to have to deal with you. Get over it, bro. Find someone more suitable for you. There’s tons of girls in this pack that aren’t that important. Why don’t you go fall in love with one of them?”
I rolled my eyes and pushed off the couch, officially done with this stupid-ass conversation. “Thanks for the pep talk, dickhead.”
Chasing Callie (Southern Werewolf Sisters Book 1) Page 26