Chapter 34
In bed the next morning, with Lucy’s head nestled sleepily against his bare chest, Jack lay thinking.
In the soft-golden rays of July morning light, he knew absolutely that he was falling for her … big time. That this was different, so different from all those fun and flirty but rather meaningless dates, the one-night stands, the no-strings flings. So far, he’d managed to avoid getting in too deep, never letting anyone loose with his heart; well, not since his high-school first love way back at the tender age of seventeen.
And then, with the sledgehammer loss of his brother, grief pummelled his emotions, smashing up his soul. After that, he’d tried to keep his distance emotionally, keep himself contained … never get too involved. But last night, this morning, he could feel himself unravelling. Lucy was taking him to places within himself that he’d never experienced before. Making love with her last night was soulful, beautiful … and it totally bloody scared him.
Jack shifted carefully so as not to wake her. He got up and made his way down to the galley kitchen, dressed in boxer shorts and his white dress shirt from the day before. He realised he was going to have to get dressed back into his tuxedo trousers shortly, ready to walk back down the lane to Ruby – hah, an unusual beachside morning combo.
He found his way around Lucy’s small kitchen, making coffee in the Tassimo machine. Daisy, after a few playful barks in his direction, was now snuffling around his feet, considering who the imposter was, and no doubt looking for her boss – and her breakfast, of course.
He could hear movement upstairs now, and then running water; perhaps Lucy was showering whilst he made coffee. It suddenly struck him as a strangely cosy, domestic set-up.
‘Sorry, Dais, don’t know where she keeps your grub. Or how much a mutt like you can eat. You’ll have to wait.’
The dog looked up at him with her dark, intense eyes. The pair of them actually seemed to have come to some kind of a truce after the night in the tent – well, needs must. And if he was going to get to know Lucy more, then he and the little dog would need to rub along okay. He suddenly stopped stirring, the teaspoon poised mid-air.
Was he … going to allow himself to get to know her more? Last night had certainly been amazing, but Jack felt that familiar tug of the past, the overwhelming weight of hurt and loss, all the little cracks in his heart suddenly heavy in his chest.
He shook it off, concentrating on stirring the coffee, one small motion at a time. Just breathe, Jack.
He set a second mug in place on the coffee machine, letting out a small sigh. He tiptoed once more around the downstairs area, curiosity about Lucy’s abode pulling him in the direction of the lounge. A couple of paperbacks were left out on the side: One Day and Pride and Prejudice. Romance novels. Was that what Lucy hoped for, he wondered, happy ever afters and a prince charming? Could he really step up to the mark? Be that kind of guy? Last night everything had seemed magical and perfect, and all he could wish for. But today, in the cold light of day, a million questions and fears were surfacing in his mind.
His stomach suddenly felt a little queasy, a gnawing anxiety in his gut. He took a steadying sip of his coffee. Why couldn’t it just be simple? Couldn’t he just go with the flow? He managed it in the rest of his life. But he was no romantic hero. And the last thing Jack wanted to do was hurt Lucy. If he couldn’t do this thing right, then maybe he shouldn’t do it at all.
And then suddenly there she was, walking into the kitchen, hair washed, with damp dark waves curling below her shoulders, dressed in a casual but pretty floral T-shirt and her trademark cropped jeans. She was like a ray of sunshine, breezing in with a ‘Morning, Daisy,’ a radiant smile for Jack, and the promise of croissants to warm in the oven, as she hunted for them in the freezer.
They were soon sat at the breakfast bar, with glasses of orange juice and crisp buttery croissants spread thickly with butter and local strawberry jam. Daisy now fed, but still loitering at their feet, eager for any stray crumbs. Lucy was chatting away as they sat there together, like a real couple. And Jack couldn’t help but feel a rising uneasiness.
‘So,’ asked Lucy, chirpily, ‘what’s on today, then? Do you want to do something, go somewhere … a walk maybe?’
So, she was hoping they’d spend the day together. Head off for a romantic walk, come back home, maybe cook lunch together … make love again …
‘Ah, I’m sorry Luce,’ he stuttered. ‘I promised Matt, that’s the guy I lodge with, that we’d go out cycling today. Gotta be getting back soon, I’m afraid.’ The white lie spilled from his lips before he even knew what he was saying. And as he markedly glanced at his wristwatch, he hated himself for it. ‘And I do only have a tuxedo with me to wear,’ he laughed nervously. He did in fact have shorts and a T-shirt back at the campervan. He’d intended rough camping last night, after all.
‘Oh … I see. Well, no worries. We can catch up again soon.’ Lucy looked down quickly as she bit into her croissant, trying to hide her disappointment.
‘Yeah, of course we can. It’s been great … last night …’ He couldn’t even begin to express his feelings for this girl. But he also couldn’t begin to express the rising sense of panic clouding in, a clenching in his chest.
‘Yeah, it was really lovely,’ she finished the sentence for him, as her soulful dark eyes held his. ‘Thanks again … for the cocktails on the beach, for everything.’
‘You’re very welcome.’ Jack gave a smile but his fears and vulnerabilities were crowding in. He found himself feeling prickly, and far too raw with emotion.
Lucy stood at the doorway to her cottage watching Jack walk away, off through the village on a sunny Tuesday morning, dressed in a dinner suit, his dark-blond hair ruffled, as if he was doing a very smart walk of shame. She couldn’t help but smile at that, but then … a thought struck her. Was he in fact feeling a sense of guilt or shame, trying to make his escape with that quick getaway? Or was she just feeling a bit vulnerable, paranoid?
Ugh, why did relationships do this to you, over and over? Get you all excited, make you feel blissfully happy for a few magical hours, and then screw your heart up like a paper ball?
They’d shared a brief, tender kiss in the hallway as he was about to go. And then that was it. No plans made to see each other through the week. No, ‘I’ll call you later.’ And that kiss had weirdly felt more like a goodbye than the start of a lovely new adventure for them both. Jack had seemed strangely sad as he left. Surely, the pair of them should be bouncing with excitement; they’d had such a brilliant night, after all. They should be all loved up and planning the next date. Argh, she needed to calm down, she was acting like Tigger, and it was no good for her mental state.
Lucy headed back in, closing the cottage door which she then leant back against with a sigh, wondering what really had just happened between them. Her heart was telling her one thing, but her head something else entirely.
Damn it, she couldn’t even get on the phone to friend Becky for some girlie advice. Her best mate would bloomin’ well kill her if she knew what she’d been up to last night, and more particularly, who with. It was the first sex she’d had in two whole years. And boy, how good had that making love with Jack been. It was the first time in a very long time that Lucy had opened up her heart and her home, and let someone in. She hoped to god she wasn’t going to regret it.
She gave Daisy a pat on her way back to the kitchen. ‘Well, Dais, what do you make of all that, then?’ She figured that the dog had about as much chance of working out what was going on with Jack Anderson, as she did.
With the day now stretching emptily ahead, and her heart feeling a little wobbly, Lucy knew she’d be better keeping busy. She made another coffee, then gave her mum a quick call, snapping up her offer of supper with her in Rothbury that evening. She also decided to call in at her brother’s house en route, and catch up with them all this afternoon; she definitely felt in need of a big hug with Freddie. That emotional conversation about
Jack’s tragic brother was still fresh in her mind. She couldn’t imagine life without her sibling, and her gorgeous little nephew. In fact, yes, she’d bake a cake this morning to take along with her, they’d love that. The Italian Chocolate Cake came to mind. She’d check out the ingredients and see what she had in her pantry cupboard, then whizz to the village shop for anything else she might need.
Back in her kitchen a half-hour later, baking helped to take her mind off what had happened in the past twenty-four hours … though not quite enough. She could still almost feel Jack’s touch; her body a little achy from the night before in a tantalisingly sensual way. Once the cake was in the oven, and putting her misgivings aside, she fired off a text to Jack, thanking him again and saying what a lovely night that had been.
She headed off to her brother’s mid-afternoon, enjoying a pot of tea and slices of her home-made cake with the family. She sat outside with Olly and Alice, watching as toddler Freddie and Daisy the dog made laps of their grassy back garden; Freddie giggling all the while. For all Daisy’s diva antics, she was extremely tolerant with the little boy. It was like she knew he was small, different from the big humans somehow. It was a delight to see them ambling about, and it made them all smile.
Olly got up to join in the fun, taking out a small football for a gentle kickabout. Daisy barked at it first of all, then managed to nudge it with her nose, with Freddie giggling alongside. Lucy was so thankful for her brother, and for the wonderful relationship they had.
‘So, how’s it all going then, Lucy? Tell me all about the pizza van.’ The girls were sat together on a low wall, Alice turning to her with a smile. ‘Olly seemed to have had a great night when you went off to do the birthday bash. He said your pizzas were amazing and that you did brilliantly. I even heard him telling your dad about it on the phone.’
‘Ah, that’s good.’
Her dad had in fact phoned her since then and asked all about the business and how things were going. He was at least showing some interest in her new venture, though still not totally enamoured with her decision to leave a steady job. She did try and visit him and his partner, Jo, every few weeks, and once in a while they’d come up to see her at the cottage too. She still loved her dad dearly, and wanted to keep in touch, but everything had changed so much when he left her mum. That security, their family unit, broken. Yes, it was all many years ago now, and Lucy got along fine with his new partner and had tried to make the best of things. But in all honesty, life had never quite felt the same. Life seemed that little bit harsher since that fragile teenager had learnt about love and the breaking down of relationships the hard way.
‘And how are you all doing?’ Lucy pulled herself from her thoughts. ‘I bet little Freddie is keeping you busy as always.’
‘Definitely. He’s a bundle of energy right now … into everything. I have to admit I quite enjoy my two work days, when he goes off to nursery.’ She gave a grin. ‘Thank heavens he sleeps okay. Bed at 7 p.m. for him, and a large glass of wine for me.’
‘Hah, I don’t blame you.’
‘Aw, but look at him with Daisy there, sharing the ball. He’s a joy really,’ Alice conceded. ‘Wouldn’t be without him … both of them.’ She looked across the garden to where her boys were playing with a look of pride, of love.
It was lovely to see. It seemed very much that Olly and Alice had a good sound relationship, and that warmed Lucy’s soul.
She gave a silent sigh. Would she ever be able look at someone like that?
Chapter 35
Lucy checked her phone as she pulled up outside her mum’s just after 4 p.m., having gone straight on from her brother’s place. Oh, Jack had replied to her message this morning. Her hand trembled a little, and how daft was that, she told herself, as she read:
Yeah, I had a good time too. X
Well, it wasn’t the most romantic response, but … he’d obviously enjoyed himself. For all his charm and chat behind the bar, in real life he was obviously far more reserved. But maybe that was just the way he was, and maybe Lucy was just learning to see the man behind the mask. She sat for a few moments, clutching her mobile, but nothing else came through and she held back from pinging back a reply. She didn’t want to be the one left waiting again.
She stepped on out of the Jeep. It was good to be having a bit of family time this afternoon; Lucy found it grounded her. She’d made a second, smaller cake for her mum, and she’d stopped off at the local Co-op to pick up a bunch of cheerful pink roses. Flowers always brightened up a house, and sometimes, even though Sofia had several close friends in the village, and had lived on her own for many years now, Lucy sensed that her mum needed a bit of a pick-me-up now and again.
Sofia’s face beamed as she opened the door to her daughter. ‘Oh, how pretty! And cake too. Have you made that? My, I am being spoilt today. Thank you, pet.’
‘Well, it sounds like I’m getting spoilt too. Roast chicken for dinner, did I hear?’
‘Yes, well it’s always a bit of a faff to do a roast just for one, but now you’re here, it’ll be a joy to make it for us.’ Sofia grinned. ‘I’ll put the kettle on, shall I? And we can go and sit out the back a while.’
‘Now that sounds perfect.’
Her mother’s house was small, tidy and semi-detached, set halfway up the hill in the rural market town of Rothbury. The moorland landscape surrounding them was high and dramatic, rising nearby to the Simonside peaks, with the river below running through the valley at the centre of the town. Sofia’s little garden had a neat patio and a grassed area, with a few well-tended shrub borders. On a day like today, it was a little suntrap too.
Sat with tea and shortbread biscuits (they were keeping the cake for dessert, so as not to spoil their appetites), with a buzz of bees from the fragrant white-petalled rose bushes and tall hollyhocks beside them, Sofia was keen to find out how everything was going with the pizza horsebox business.
‘Well, it’s been going from strength to strength these past weeks,’ Lucy was delighted to announce.
Yes, her reputation was building, her online presence growing, and bookings were starting to come in more regularly. So, as well as her weekly Alnwick market slot, she generally had two other bookings to attend as well. All Fired Up was finally turning a profit, and she had received some great reviews. She was feeling much more confident in her own abilities. Seeing Jack at these events had been a bonus too, but … after last night, she wondered how that would now be. She’d just have to wait and see … and well, she felt her cheeks flush, Mum certainly didn’t need to know about that side of things.
‘That’s brilliant, love. I’m delighted for you. You deserve it. I know you’ve put in an awful lot of hard work to get this far. I’ll have to come and see you in action sometime soon, when you’ve got the horsebox all set up.’
‘Yes, that’d be great. Though it might be a bit tricky turning up to someone’s birthday party or wedding! Hmm, the market could be a good one to come and visit. The one in Alnwick on a Thursday.’ Lucy took a bite of buttery biscuit.
‘Oh yes, I’ll do that. I can have a look around the other stalls there too, and have a mooch about the town. That sounds a lovely idea.’
‘Good.’
‘Might even suggest it to Julia. We could make an afternoon of it.’
Sofia seemed happy with her plan. And for Lucy, it was lovely to have her mother’s support too.
‘You know what Lucy, love?’
‘What?’ Lucy turned to face her mum.
‘I’ve seen a difference in you lately. Yes, there’s a definite spring in your step, these past few weeks.’
‘Yeah,’ Lucy smiled, nodding. She’d felt it too. Like finally her life was turning around, that things were looking up. And … it may just have had something to do with a rather gorgeous barman being in her life too.
But then she thought about this morning, and the way he had left so suddenly. She just hoped that Jack Anderson wasn’t going to be the one to trip her up.
Two hours later, with a tummy fit to burst, Lucy was sitting cosily on her mum’s sofa with Daisy tucked beside her. The forecasted showers had come, but it didn’t matter too much. They’d had a nice couple of hours outside, and as Mum had commented, it’d helped water the gardens.
‘That was a gorgeous dinner. Thanks, Mum. It’s been so nice to catch up. I suppose I’d better be heading back soon.’
‘You could always stay over, pet. The spare room’s always ready,’ her mum offered with a hopeful smile.
‘Oh, that’s kind, Mum. But I’ve all sorts to organise and prepare for tomorrow. I’ve an event booked late afternoon for a kids’ birthday party, so I need to get to the cash and carry too.’
She was busy, but in truth she also loved getting back to her little seaside cottage, which really did feel like home to her.
‘No worries, pet. Whatever suits you best.’ Sofia was pretty easy-going about these things.
Lucy sensed her mum would like to see more of her, even though they saw each other every week. ‘I’ll be back and visit again soon. Or, why don’t you come across to me and we can go and have a treat at the little café in the village. And if you get to the market on Thursday too, that’d be great …’
‘Ooh, yes, that sounds nice. And I’ll definitely pop across to see you at the market.’
‘Brilliant.’
Plans were in place. And Lucy left after warm hugs with an extra plate of chicken dinner for her and Daisy to share.
The journey back to the cottage was a wet one, with large puddles on the lanes to negotiate. Summer rain. The roads were fairly quiet though, with the tourists and locals mostly nestled down for the evening.
Back home, with Daisy settled, Lucy was suddenly overcome with a huge wave of tiredness. It had been a busy day, following a rather full on and unexpected night, after all. It was soon time enough for Lucy to head off to bed. Rain pattered on the windows of the little coastal cottage, and the wind rushed in from the sea. The cottage seemed to echo with a lonely melody.
The Seaside Cocktail Campervan Page 22