Sarah straightened.
I squinted for a moment. Did I say anything to Sarah about Morgan having brothers?
Morgan pouted. “Dad travels all the time so he could make trips to visit. Mom loves where she’s working right now. But who knows how long that’ll last.”
“So when would you leave?” My face puckered. “I’m happy for you, but I’ll miss you and Knight.”
“If we decide this is what I want and if I get accepted, I’d start the new semester in January. They teach riding classes to help with special needs. I’d never be able to have a dog like you, but I can help people with mobility problems get their balance and feel the freedom of movement on a horse.”
She stared at me, and her chest heaved as she sucked in all the air around us. “Ummm.” She lifted her chin. “I need to tell you the bad stuff. My older brother has lost his left leg above the knee and has PTSD, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. He needs psychological help, and he loves horses. This would be a great solution to make both of us happy.”
I caught myself before I showed alarm or sadness. “Yah. That sounds like a wonderful way for him to get help, and you’d be together.”
As I started to ask more questions, gravel popped under tires. We stiffened. No one moved. Morgan’s mother’s heels clicked toward our trio. Her head turned sideways, inspecting the barn and us.
I moved forward and put my hand out. “Hey, Mrs. Hart. I’m Trina.”
She looked at my hand as if to see if it was clean, and then patted my hand with the tips of her red-painted fingernails. I didn’t try pretending to be nice. I pulled my hand back and introduced Sarah.
Sarah didn’t reach out to shake her hand and said in a monotone voice, “Nice to meet you, Mrs. Hart.”
She blinked, nodded, and turned to Morgan. “Are you ready to go?”
Morgan smirked at us and said, “Yep, let me get my book bag.”
I moved my lips. “Good luck!”
Watching them leave the barn, neither Sarah nor I said a word. Car doors slammed, the engine roared, and then the car rattled down the gravel drive. We hadn’t shifted a muscle. I sensed Colton at my side and looked down. He glued his eyes on Sarah and me.
Sarah spoke first. “Well, that was something, wasn’t it?”
“Oh. My. Gawd! No wonder Morgan is like she is, or was. I hope she gets to go to Florida and have normal people around her.”
Sarah grabbed my arm. “Okay, Trina. Tell me about Morgan’s trip.”
Heading home to start our homework, I told her everything I’d been told. I didn’t know any more about her brother than Sarah.
A smile spread across her face. “Morgan’s dad likes dogs, so maybe her brother could have a service dog, too, if he’s living with his grandparents.”
“That’s true, Sarah. And Morgan confessed she’s always wanted a dog. I’m going to encourage her to apply to those schools.”
Sarah took hold of Colton’s leash. “So how about you? What will you do when Morgan’s gone? Heather has pretty much adopted Chancy.”
“Well. That’s temporary.”
She stopped and stared at me. “Is it?”
Chapter 42
Sitting at my desk with Colton next to my cast, I slogged through homework until my phone neighed. I smiled and answered. “Hey, Morgan. How was dinner?”
Her heavy breathing gave me a cause for alarm, and I waited for her to speak. “Surprising. Are you ready for some good news?”
All of my fears whooshed out, and my body crumpled like I had deflated. I sort of screamed, “Yah. What? Tell?”
“It’s a lot. Can you roll to the barn? Dad said he’d take me and come back and when he finishes his errands.”
“Absolutely. I need thirty minutes to finish one assignment. I’ll do the rest later.” I rushed to get Colton’s cape and leash. “Want to go to the barn one more time?”
He wiggled into a U-shape and wagged. Filling my backpack with yummy treats, Colt’s tongue swiped his lips and his eyes flashed on my pouch.
I chuckled. “You always act like you’re starving.”
He nodded in agreement and jogged up the path on alert for something to chase. I had decided to use my crutches and enjoyed the evening air. We heard squawking, and over the trees a flock of geese flew in a V formation like the pelicans had done at the beach. Soon the leader fell back and they changed formation.
I arrived panting.
Morgan greeted us. “Let’s sit over here.” She patted the hay bale. “I’m shaking with news. Okay, here I go. If you need a break, let me know.”
I flopped on the bale and chewed on a loose piece of hay, but didn’t budge. “I’m good. Just start.”
Morgan inhaled and blew it out quickly. “Yesterday, Mother took me to the clubhouse. You saw how I was dressed.”
I nodded but didn’t interrupt.
“Not to her terms, to say the least, but she didn’t say a word. Actually, after so many times of her being angry about the way I looked, I was embarrassed for the first time.” Morgan hunched her shoulders. “I waited for Mother to make me feel small and unimportant, but she actually asked me questions about my day, and whether I had homework.”
I pulled out another piece of straw to twiddle while I listened.
Morgan straightened. “It was stressful having her act this way, and I wasn’t comfortable talking to her. After I told her a few things, I asked about her day. She smiled and showed the same discomfort. We both carefully chose safe subjects to talk about. Finally, I blurted out, ‘Are you as uncomfortable as I am?’”
Morgan stopped talking to catch her breath.
I raised my head. “What did she say?”
“Mother’s eyes widened and she stiffened. Finally she moaned. ‘Umm. I’m your mother! You should be able to tell me what’s on your mind.’ Then Mother slumped, and her fake smile went away. She muttered, ‘I know I haven’t been around much, but I’d like to try and change that. It’s my fault we feel this way right now. I promised to get some counseling, but it’s going to take some time for me to change. You have to know I’m going try.’”
“Wow! Morgan that’s super!”
“It gets better.” As Morgan told her story, she acted out each of her mother’s actions. “Mother shifted her shoulders backward and smiled a real smile at me. I—I honestly didn’t know if I should stare back. She frightened me. I sat stiff in my chair, waiting for her to continue, and the waiter showed up.
“She told me to order whatever I wanted, and then she ordered a salad and a glass of wine. As soon as the waiter turned, Mom perked up. ‘I have some news I’m dying to share.’”
Now I sat up and my pulse speeded. What could be so exciting? I patted the bale of hay, inviting Colton to hop up.
Morgan paced while Colton settled. “Mom said, ‘Morgan, I know you have been unhappy for a long time, and I haven’t bothered to help. But after being at your grandparents’ house and seeing you relaxed and happy, I see what I’ve been doing to you. I can’t make those years go away, but I can make your next ones better. While I was acting like a jerk at the horse show, scouts from different boarding schools were watching all the riders.’”
Morgan pressed her hands together. “Trina, my heart galloped so fast, I almost choked!”
Now, I was hooked. I couldn’t move or look away.
“Mother reached across the table and grabbed one of my hands. Two Scouts from two of the schools I liked may offer me a scholarship for the rest of the year. It will depend on how I place during a show in November and one in December. If I do get accepted, and do well academically next semester, and continue winning at the shows, I could have a scholarship through my senior year.” Morgan’s hand went to her heart. “Knight has turned out to be my man in shining armor.”
“Oh. My. Gawd! How awesome is that! Oh, Morgan. Is she ok
ay with you going away?”
“Mother is thrilled at the idea. That I’d be doing what I want to do, and she could get some counseling while I’m being happy and productive. But now I have a ton of pressure to place in the next shows.”
I stood for a moment, wiggled my bottom, and sat back down. “Wow! That’s really wonderful! But what will I do without you at the barn or helping me with homework?”
Morgan sat next to me and grabbed my hand. “I can still help you online. You just send me your questions. And I’ll be coming back and forth to see my parents. I’ll expect you to come and visit with Colton.”
Colton, hearing his name, leaped off the bale. The tops of his ears lifted.
I patted his head and then looked at Morgan. “Have you chosen which school you want to go to?”
“I can’t. Not until I hear about their offers, but I really want to go to the one closest to my Grands and Quintin.”
“Which is?”
“Tallahassee Riding Academy. You should see the grounds and the barns. Knight will miss you, but he’ll love it there. I’d share a room with another girl. Trina, now that I’ve met you.” She shook her finger at me. “I’m determined not to be afraid of making new friends. Anyway, I’ll go to the dining room for meals. And there’s every kind of activity I’d ever want to try.”
Morgan’s phone chirped. “Oh, Dad’s calling. He’s on his way. Let me go see Knight. Don’t tell Mrs. B. I’ll surprise her tomorrow.”
I watched her dart away. She might actually get the chance to follow her dream, and here I am still trying to figure out mine.
Chapter 43
After hugging Morgan goodbye, I spent minutes breathing in the aroma of the barn while Colton checked out each corner. I needed to see Chancy, feel her attention, and tell her what was on my mind. Although I didn’t want to be in the barn when Mrs. B arrived to feed the horses, it turned out I didn’t have a choice.
She hurried in, turned on her favorite country music station, and hummed while she filled buckets. Colton whined and raced to her legs. I followed.
Mrs. B. backed up, and her voice squeaked. “Well, hey hon. What are you doing here?”
“Morgan came over to check on Knight while her Dad ran some errands, and then he drove back to pick her up. Her parents are really trying to get their act together.”
“That’s wonderful to hear.” She scrunched her face. “How about you? Are you figuring out what you want to do?”
I halted, and raised my eyebrows. “What do you mean?”
“Honey, I promised I would keep Chancy for you as long as you wanted to ride her. Follow me while I feed everyone.” She went in and out of stalls, changing empty buckets with full ones.
My brain made a screeching noise like a DJ scratching a record. Do I tell her what’s on my mind?
Mrs. B put the lid on the grain container, and guided me to the tack room. “Do you want to tell me what’s going on? I feel like I might be the last one to know.”
I gave her a puzzled look. “The last to know about what?”
“Heather asked me if she could take lessons on Chancy. I almost choked. I didn’t know you had given her permission to ride her. Heather’s getting awfully attached, and I think Chancy is enjoying her, too.”
“Oh!” I sucked in a breath. “I’m probably the last one to know. I’m not sure what I’m going to do. It will be another month or six weeks before I can ride again. Chancy needed to be worked, and Heather loves her.” Tears slipped out. “The last time I rode I realized I hadn’t improved very much. I don’t have time to practice, and I am really enjoying training Colton. I’m so confused. I know I’ll be sad when he has to be returned, but I have a long time before that happens. There are so many things I can do with him, and still work at the barn, see the horses, and earn money for dog classes.”
Mrs. B put a hand on each of my shoulders and kept eye contact.
“I haven’t made up my mind for certain, but I guess I’d tell Heather to go ahead and take lessons on Chancy. It won’t hurt either one of us, and if I decide to ride again, Chancy will be that much better, and she can teach me. Mrs. B, when I know for sure what I’m doing, you’ll be the first to know. Mom and Dad have no clue what I’ve been thinking. They’ll be surprised, too.”
She hugged me. “Scoot home. You have time to figure it out. I just want you to make the best decision you can. I’m always here for you.”
“Thanks. Mrs. Brown. I’ll be back tomorrow.”
At dinner, Mom and Dad asked why I was so quiet. I tucked my chin and mumbled. “I have a lot on my mind. I’m taking Colton outside and then going to bed.” Outside, I called Chase instead of texting. He knew my code for urgent.
He answered. “What’s going on?”
I filled him in on my newest problem.
He listened until I finished. “You need to listen to your heart. We’ve found out it’s okay to change our minds. You chose to train another pup.” He paused. “And aren’t you happy that you did?”
He couldn’t see me, but I nodded.
“You did what felt right. If I was with you now, I’d be more than just your distant friend. I’d be giving you a hug, encouraging you to do what comes naturally. Pretend I’m there. Okay?”
I closed my eyes and sensed his arms go around me. “I am. Thanks, Chase. I miss you. I’ll call you tomorrow. Now you pretend.”
“Thanks, I pretend every day. Talk tomorrow.”
I tossed and turned. Finally, I gave up sleeping, switched on my light, and read another article in Discovery Teen magazine about setting goals. I had always been a goal setter but now those goals were changing and confusing my life.
Mom questioned me on why I looked so tired at breakfast. I gave her a weak smile. “I had to study late last night.” I don’t think she believed me, but she let it slide.
At lunch time, Sarah stared at me. In her knowing way, she cross-examined me. “What’s bothering you?”
“I’m okay. Just didn’t sleep last night. Any chance you could come over after school, just for a little while?”
She tilted her head. She knew me too well. “I have a soccer game at seven-thirty. Let me see how much homework I have. If I can put off doing my homework until after our game, I’ll rush right over.”
“That’d be perfect. Thanks.”
While outside with Mr. Colton, Sarah joined me in the back yard. “Hi, mystery girl?”
I smiled, and Colton barked. “Hey, to you! I really needed your company.”
The brisk wind picked up, and goosebumps grew on our arms. Neither of us had a jacket.
I lifted my shoulders to warm my neck. “Before we shiver to death, let’s go inside. We can fix hot chocolate, and I’ll tell you what’s going on.”
Sarah bounced from foot to foot, eager to hear secrets, or get involved in someone else’s problems. She pretended to throw a branch for Colton. When he ran ahead looking, she giggled and waved it in the air. He wagged his tail and she tossed it to him. Her lively voice grew intense as I followed her to the house.
She spun around and faced me. “You have been a little secretive lately. I know I’m not around as much for you to confide in, but we promised we’d always find time to tell each other our thoughts. Right?”
“I hope so, Sarah. We have a lot of history together. We just have to take the time to stay in touch, and never stop sharing what’s going on.”
We tore open our hot chocolate packets, filled our giant mugs with water, and set them in the microwave. Colton had plopped on his foam bed, stretched out, and hung his head over the edge.
I snickered. “Look at him! I guess he likes the blood rushing to his brain.”
Sarah found the Oreo cookies in the pantry and filled a plate.
I smiled and settled on a chair. “Perfect. I need energy to say my ideas out loud.”
I watched each step of her procedure. “I’ve always wondered. Why don’t you eat it together?”
She shrugged. “My dad eats it this way, and I’ve always copied him. Have you ever tried it this way? It’s more chocolatey.”
“Nope. But I’ll try it your way if you’ll try it my way.”
Sarah snickered. “Okay, on three. One, two, three.” Sarah took two bites of a whole cookie, and it was gone. I licked the frosting off and swallowed before I bit into the chocolate cookie. Sarah waited until mine was gone. “So what do you think?”
“I need a sip of hot chocolate.” I smiled and took one more sip. “It takes longer to eat the pieces separately, and I can taste the cookie more, but I like them together. What about you?”
“I like my way. I love the frosting. But see, we can do it differently and still be friends. Now will you stop stalling?” She pulled out another cookie and spilt it apart, staring at me, waiting.
“Okay. Okay. I’m not sure, but this is what I’ve been thinking about. And I haven’t told this to Mom and Dad yet, but I’m coming close to making a decision.” I hesitated for a long moment.
Sarah blurted out. “All right. Get to the meat of what you’re going to say. At this rate, you’ll still be telling me what you don’t know when I need to leave.”
“Oh, Sarah. I’m trying. Let me get my thoughts organized.” I started to speak, but sighed instead. I exhaled one more time, and then let the words rush out. “I’ll never be a good enough rider to compete with Chancy or join a college team.”
Sarah sealed her lips, and stared.
For a long moment, I looked at Sarah. “I love being at the barn, helping with the horses, and maybe doing trail rides.” I smiled and shook my head. “But, no more crazy dreams of riding in the Olympics.” My voice softened to a whisper. “Heather wants to take lessons on Chancy and will probably want to show her. She’s already a better rider than I’ll ever be. And Chancy would be a great show horse.” I squeezed my eyes, not wanting them to leak, and worried saying those words out loud might make it all true.
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