“I would love that!” Maya opened the front door and paraded through. “Hi, Gigi!”
Lillian sat at the kitchen table, nursing a cup of coffee. In true pouting form, she was still dressed in her bathrobe. Her makeup had been touched up though, so that was something.
“Maya is going to teach you how to make cookies while I run an errand,” Dahlia announced, pulling the ingredients out of the bag.
“Yeah, Gigi! My chocolate chip cookies are the best.” Her daughter hurried to the pantry and came back wearing an apron. “Everyone says so. Even Auntie Mags loves them, and she’s a professional.”
“I guess we can bake cookies.” Her mother stood and trudged to the kitchen island. “At least someone wants to spend time with me.”
No eye rolling. No. Eye. Rolling. Dahlia simply smiled at the woman. “Have fun! I’ll be back soon.” And then maybe she’d drag Rose over here later so the two of them could hash out their feelings and quit wallowing.
If anyone had a right to wallow, it was her.
On the drive to the park, Dahlia allowed herself to feel a degree of self-pity. She was about to tell a man she cared for—a man she was incredibly attracted to—that she couldn’t make room for him in her life anytime soon. He might’ve said he didn’t mind waiting, but what would happen when the weeks turned into months and the months to a year or more? The truth was, the timing was all wrong for them.
But that didn’t change the fact that it would be very hard to walk away from him.
Before she could change her mind, she hurriedly parked the car and followed the path he usually took, sitting down on a bench to wait. The pancakes seemed to have solidified in her stomach, sitting as heavily as concrete. Three times she almost stood up and left, but then Ike came walking down the sidewalk and she stopped second-guessing. She’d meant what she said to Maya about Ike. He was a wonderful man, and he deserved to have everything.
“Dally?” He quickened his pace when he saw her and joined her on the bench, wearing the grin that lit up his face whenever he saw her. “Why do I get the feeling you were waiting for me?”
She cleared her throat doing her best to strengthen her voice. “I wanted to talk.”
“Sure.” His smile grew. “I knew this walk would be the best part of my day.”
She wished it would be the best part of both of their days. She wished she could wrap her arms around him and kiss him and be free to love him. But she’d lived enough to know that wishes didn’t always come true. Right now letting him go was the best thing she could do for both of them.
“I’ve been thinking a lot and talking to the kids, and I think it’s best if we don’t see each other. Even as friends.” There was no way to make those words any easier to say or to hear.
Ike’s smile fell away, turning his expression pensive.
“I know you said you’d wait,” she went on before he could speak. “And I really appreciate that, but I can’t say where I’ll be when the children come around. And I don’t think you can really know where you’ll be either.” Things would keep changing. They would keep changing. “Right now, it’s too hard. I feel torn. And I can’t live like that. I have to choose to be the best mom I can be.”
“You’re an incredible mom.” He held her gaze in his. “Maya and Ollie are lucky.”
“Thank you.” She couldn’t manage more than a whisper without giving in to the threatening tears. “You’re going to find someone who’s lucky too.” Someone who could be fully his. Maybe someone like Dr. Jolly. Dahlia stood, her resolve crumbling. “You are the best man,” she said on a sob and then turned to walk away.
He just couldn’t be hers.
Chapter Fourteen
Sassy
Sassy? Did you hear me?”
Moe asked the question from all the way across the room. But how was she supposed to answer when she couldn’t see straight?
“Of course I heard you.” She hadn’t meant to bite the poor man’s head off, but there shouldn’t be two Moes in front of her right now. There shouldn’t be two laptops sitting on her desk and two clocks hanging side by side on the opposite wall. The room shouldn’t be spinning as though she’d just gotten on the Seattle Great Wheel again.
Another headache had started early this morning. She’d taken the same over-the-counter meds that had dimmed the pain before, but then the vertigo attacked out of almost nowhere.
“I asked if you wanted to come over here and read this email before I send it.” Moe pushed out of the chair behind his desk and stood as though he wanted to get a better view of her.
“I heard.” Her hearing wasn’t the problem right now. It was her sight. But now the man started to come back into focus as the brief wave of double vision receded.
“All right. What’s going on with you?” Moe marched to her side of the office. “You’re not yourself today.” He parked himself in the chair across from her, a sure sign he wasn’t going to budge until he got an answer out of her.
“Nothing’s going on.” She slipped her bifocals onto her nose and read the first line of the town government’s website that she’d pulled up on her computer. The words were clear again, each letter separated instead of blurring together like they had a few seconds ago.
“You’re lying.” Moe shut her laptop. “And that’s not like you.”
The man had her there. She hated to lie. “I have a headache. That’s all.” That’s all she wanted these symptoms to be. A simple headache. Something that would go away once she readjusted to the altitude.
“It’s not only a headache, Sassy.” The man who’d become her friend since she’d taken office cornered with her a long unyielding stare. “I can tell. You didn’t want to stand up and walk across the room. Are you dizzy?”
She didn’t answer him right away. She hadn’t told anyone else about her symptoms. Not Colt. Not Rose or Dahlia. Not Graham…
“I’ll call Ike.” Moe started to stand, but she reached out her hand to stop him.
“No. Don’t call him. Please.” She’d thought about this. It was time. She knew that. She knew she had to open the door to what would surely be a lengthy diagnostic process with tests and hospitals, but she didn’t want to open that door here. In Juniper Springs.
“If you’d rather I not call Ike, then you’d better go on and tell me what’s happening. Before I start freaking out.” Moe pulled out his cell phone and threatened to dial.
“I’ve been getting headaches,” Sassy said before he could make the call. “For the last several weeks. Maybe for over a month now. I’m not sure.” At first she hadn’t paid them much attention. The headaches had been like any other ache associated with growing older—knees, hips, stomach. And she always managed to ignore those pains without a problem. “They started small and more spread out, but now…”
She couldn’t ignore them anymore. “They’ve been coming on more frequently. And I have these awful dizzy spells occasionally too.”
“Like I said, we need Ike. Now.” Moe fixated on his phone again but she stood and leaned over the desk to snatch it out of his hand.
Not bad reflexes for an old broad. Sassy smiled sweetly at him, lest he forget who he was dealing with, as she sat back down in her chair. “I know I need to get the headaches checked out. And I will. But I don’t want to go through all of that here. I want to find a doctor in Denver.” She loved Ike like a son, and she didn’t want to put him through walking this road with her. “I need to know what I’m dealing with before I tell everyone.” Once Colt and her nieces and her friends found out, everything would change. They wouldn’t look at her the same. They wouldn’t treat her the same. And she wasn’t ready to be viewed as an invalid.
Moe seemed to inhale slowly, deeply. “You think it’s something serious.” Concern glistened in his dark eyes. He wasn’t asking a question.
Sassy slid his phone back across the desk. “I’ve seen these same symptoms before. My uncle died of a brain tumor.” She would never forget how he’d suffered.
How her aunt had suffered watching him struggle.
“Even more reason to get checked out now.” Moe left his phone where it was. “As soon as possible. We can take you down to the hospital in Salida and get you a CT scan today.”
“Not yet. Not today.” Her uncle hadn’t gotten to make any choices. Everyone else had made them for him. The poor man’s voice had dimmed long before he took his final breath, and she didn’t want that to be her story too. She wanted to have a plan in place before she had to tell anyone else. “I promise you I will call some doctors in Denver later today.” Sassy made sure to add a measure of sternness into her tone. “But until I know what I’m dealing with, I need you to keep this between us.”
The man’s deep frown told her exactly what he thought about that. “If that’s what you want, I will respect it, but I won’t like it.” His expression softened. “Your family and friends are going to want to be part of this, Sassy. Whatever it is. They’re going to want to be there for you the way you’ve been there for so many others. You shouldn’t take that away from them.”
The emotion in Moe’s voice touched her. “I won’t. Once I know more, once I have a plan, I will be an open book. I promise.” But she still wanted to be the one writing the story. She wanted to make her own decisions and chart her course before inviting everyone else into the boat.
“I want a full report on what doctors you will be seeing in Denver by tomorrow.” Moe held out his hand over the desk like he wanted to shake on it.
That made her giggle, and she took his hand. “I solemnly swear.”
He refused to let go of her hand. “And if you have another dizzy spell before the appointment, you have to promise to call nine-one-one. Or I can promise you that I will. That’s not something you want to mess with.”
“Oh, fine.” The dizzy spells lasted only a few minutes at the most. She usually just sat and let them have their moment before trying to walk again. “I will be very aware and careful. And I will figure this out.” That she could promise.
“Knock-knock.”
Graham stepped through the office’s open doorway and brought on a different kind of dizzy spell. Sassy popped out of her chair. “What are you doing here?” What if Peg found out he’d stopped by her office?
Panic swarmed her, making her feel the same way she had when her boyfriend had snuck into her parents’ house a lifetime ago.
“Well, if it isn’t Mr. Wright.” Moe rose regally from his chair and met Graham with an outstretched hand. “To what do we owe this impromptu visit?”
“I’m here for Sassy.”
“Right. Because we have a meeting.” Sassy hastily snatched the sweater off the back of her chair and rushed to the door. She had to get the man out of here before he blew their cover in front of Moe. She shouldn’t be caught fraternizing with Peg’s sworn enemy before she and Graham made the partnership official. And she certainly wasn’t supposed to be getting all swoony at the sight of Graham in a tailored blue suit!
So what if Moe already had an inkling she and Graham had been spending a lot of extra time together? No one else could know. Not Peg. Not Dahlia and Rose. What would they think about her sneaking around with a man?
“Oh, uh. Yes. Our meeting,” the man sputtered behind her. “It was a pleasure seeing you, Moe. I hope you have a wonderful day.”
“It was a surprise indeed,” Moe said teasingly.
Oh, just listen to him. Moe thought he had everything all figured out. Sassy let go of a sigh. The warmth on her cheeks was not a blush. It was anger, darn it.
Finally—finally—Graham met her in the hallway outside the office.
Sassy didn’t waste one second pulling him down the staircase and in the direction of the back door. She cracked it open and peeked out into the alleyway behind the building.
“What’s going on? Are you in trouble with the law?” Graham quipped.
But Sassy wasn’t in the mood for jokes. She beckoned him out the door and into the alley. “If we go out the front door, word will reach Peg by noon.” That woman had spies all over this town. Heck, who was she kidding? This was Juniper Springs. Word about her rendezvous with Graham would reach the Crazy Moose by noon no matter what she did.
“I didn’t realize we were on the run from Peg.” An edge subdued the man’s voice.
“It’s not only Peg. We don’t want the whole town to get the wrong idea about us.” That was the point. If they were seen walking down the street together in the middle of the day for no apparent reason, the rumors would start flying. The town would have them secretly engaged by nightfall. “You know how fast word travels around here, and—” Sassy looked to her left and then her right, but there was no sign of Graham. She stopped and turned around.
The man stood in the middle of the alley, staring after her. “What, exactly, would the wrong idea be?”
“You know. That there’s something going on.” She started off again, but then realized she didn’t know where they were going. “Why did you come to see me at work anyway?” Their meetings had been confined to the rose garden, which was safely tucked out of sight from the street…
“I wanted to show you something.” Graham had caught up to her, but he didn’t look at her. Instead he stared straight ahead with a blank look in his eyes. “But don’t worry. We can take the alleys all the way there so no one will see us together.”
Oh, dear. She’d hurt him. “I didn’t mean…” She wasn’t sure how to finish. How could she explain the panic and the fear and the uncertainty and the irrational reactions this man stirred up in her when she didn’t understand them herself?
Graham didn’t wait for an explanation anyway. He kept walking—outstriding her by a good two feet as they passed behind the antique store and the gallery and the jewelry shop before continuing behind the museum until they reached the empty lot next door.
The empty lot that had started this whole mess in the first place.
Sassy followed Graham through the bramble of weeds and grasses that had grown tall on the property until he came to an abrupt stop.
She almost went to apologize again, but before she could get any words out, she saw it. The sign.
JUNIPER SPRINGS COMMUNITY GARDEN had been hand-carved on a large wooden plaque. A deep jagged line formed the mountainous horizon above the words, and juniper trees completed the frame below them.
Sassy approached the sign, which leaned up against a tree trunk on the property. “It’s a work of art.” She ran her fingers along the words, marveling at how smooth the finish was. Graham had mentioned he enjoyed woodworking, but she had no idea he could produce something so beautiful. “You made this?” She whirled to look at this man who had been so full of surprises.
He nodded, his mouth still set in a solemn frown. “I’ve talked to each board member. They love the idea of a partnership that would incorporate plaques and different displays depicting the town’s mining history.” He walked to where the dirt met the sidewalk. “I thought the sign could go here, along with maybe a few benches where people could sit and rest.” Graham moved along the west side of the property. “And over here we could plant a few apple trees. I’ve been doing a lot of research, and dwarf red delicious apple trees grow very well in Colorado.”
Sassy watched him stroll across the property, tears misting her eyes. He must have spent every waking minute contacting his board members, working on the sign. And the partnership…he’d given up on expanding the museum for her. Some thanks she’d offered him by basically showing him how embarrassed she was to be seen with him.
“On this side, we could build raised garden beds to cut down on weeds. We could plant all varieties of vegetables and add an irrigation system connected to the museum’s water line…” He suddenly seemed to realize she hadn’t said anything and hurried back to her, stopping a good few feet away. “Those were my thoughts. But of course you are welcome to do whatever you’d like for the garden. I don’t have to be involved—”
“I’m sorry.�
� Sassy crossed the distance between them. This might be the nicest thing anyone had ever done for her, and she had treated the man so poorly. She took both of his hands in hers, holding on to them tightly. “Oh, Graham, I absolutely love this. All of it. The partnership, the sign.”
A pure unfiltered hopefulness widened his eyes only a touch, but she saw it. She recognized it. She had spent a great deal of time looking into his eyes.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t meant to imply that I’m embarrassed to be seen with you.” She let go of his hands, needing to move, to walk, to pace while she worked out her feelings. “It’s not that I’m embarrassed at all.” Though she would love to blame simple chagrin. “I’m afraid.” She might never have acknowledged the truth if it hadn’t been for his kindness and selflessness. But now she owed him honesty. “Because if other people see us, they might recognize what I’m trying hard not to. That there is something between us.” She wasn’t sure what yet. But physically—emotionally—something changed in her when Graham came around.
She risked a glance at him, almost afraid of what she’d see.
But there was no judgment in the man’s steady, wise eyes.
“I have been alone for almost twenty years,” she continued. “I had given up on—”
What exactly? What part of her heart had shut down without her knowing when Robert passed away?
“I had given up on any notion of romantic love.” To even say those words out loud! She was almost seventy years old. She might have a brain tumor. What could she possibly offer this man?
Honesty. That was all she could give him.
“All I know is that when I see you, my heart lifts. And it startles me every time.” When Graham came near, she didn’t feel old anymore. She didn’t feel any of the aches and pains and limitations her body was slowly succumbing to. “You make me feel a happiness I thought was long dead. And I don’t know what to do with it. Not now. Not in this stage of my life.” Not when she had been on her own, keeping her heart all to herself, for so many years.
The Summer Sisters (Juniper Springs Book 2) Page 15