by Jean M. Auel
Ayla was still feeling the effects of her small taste of the drink and wondered what sensations the acolyte who had drunk much more was experiencing. The young woman went to the panel and put both hands on it, then got in close and laid her cheek against the rough stone as though she was trying to get inside it. Then she began to cry. Her Zelandoni put his arm around her shoulders to calm her. The First took a few steps toward her and then began to sing the Mother’s Song.
Out of the darkness, the chaos of time,
The whirlwind gave birth to the Mother sublime.
She woke to Herself knowing life had great worth,
The dark empty void grieved the Great Mother Earth.
The Mother was lonely. She was the only.
Everyone listened, and Ayla could feel a tension in her shoulders that she didn’t know was there begin to ease. The young acolyte stopped crying, and after a while when they picked up the tune of the music, others joined in, especially when they got to the part where she sang about Her bringing forth the children of earth from her womb.
Each child was different, some were large and some small,
Some could walk and some fly, some could swim and some crawl.
But each form was perfect, each spirit complete,
Each one was a model whose shape could repeat.
The Mother was willing. The green earth was filling.
All the birds and the fish and the animals born,
Would not leave the Mother, this time, to mourn.
Each kind would live near the place of its birth,
And share the expanse of the Great Mother Earth.
Close to Her they would stay. They could not run away.
When the First was through, the acolyte was sitting on the ground in front of the painted panel. Several others were also sitting on the ground looking rather dazed.
When the First walked back to where Ayla was standing, the Seventh soon joined them. He said very softly, “It was remarkable the way your singing settled everyone down.” Then he added, indicating the ones who were seated, “I think they took more than a sip. Some may be here awhile. I think I should stay until everyone is ready to go back, but you don’t have to.”
“We’ll stay awhile longer,” the One Who Was First said, noticing that several more people were sitting.
“I’ll get some of those pads,” the Seventh said.
When he returned, Ayla was ready to sit. “I think that tea keeps getting stronger,” she said.
“I think you are right,” the First said. “Do you have any more?” she asked the Seventh. “I would like to test it further when we get back home.”
“I can give you some to take with you,” he said.
As Ayla sat down on the pad, she looked at the painted wall again. It seemed almost transparent, as though she could see through it to the other side. She had the feeling there were more animals wanting to come out, getting ready to live in this world. As she continued to watch, she felt more and more drawn into the world behind the wall, and then it seemed she was in it, or rather high above it.
It seemed not much different from her world, at first. There were rivers flowing across grassy steppes and prairies, and cutting between high cliffs, trees in protected areas and gallery forests along riverbanks. Many animals of all kinds roamed the land. Mammoths, rhinoceroses, megaceros, bison, aurochs, horses, and saiga antelope preferred the open grasslands; red deer and other varieties of smaller deer liked the cover of a few trees; reindeer and musk-oxen were well adapted to cold. There were all the varieties of other animals and birds, and predators from the huge cave lion to the smallest weasel. It wasn’t so much that she saw them as that she knew they were there, but there were differences. Things seemed strangely reversed. Bison and horses and deer were not avoiding the lions, but ignoring them. The landscape was clear, but when she looked in the sky she saw the moon and the sun, and then the moon moved in front of the sun and turned it black. Suddenly she felt herself being shaken by the shoulder.
“I think you may have fallen asleep,” the First said.
“Perhaps, but it feels as though I was in another place,” Ayla said. “I saw the sun turn black.”
“You may have been, but it’s time for us to leave. It’s getting light out.”
When they walked out of the cave, several people were standing around the fire, warming themselves. A Zelandoni handed each of them a cup of hot liquid.
“This is just a morning drink,” he said, smiling. “It was a new experience for me,” he added, “very powerful.”
“For me, as well,” Ayla said. “How is the acolyte who drank a whole cup?”
“She’s still feeling the effects. They are very long lasting, but she is being carefully watched.”
The two women walked back to the camp. Although it was very early in the morning, Jondalar was awake. Ayla wondered if he had gone to bed at all. He smiled and looked relieved when he saw Ayla and the First returning.
“I didn’t think you’d be there all night,” Jondalar said.
“I didn’t think we would, either,” Ayla said.
“I’m going to the zelandonia lodge. You may want to rest today, Ayla,” the First said.
“Yes, I may, but right now, I want something to eat. I’m hungry.”
It was another three days before the travelers with Ayla’s Donier Tour left the Summer Meeting of the South Land Zelandonii, during which time Amelana had a small crisis. A very charming, somewhat older and apparently high-status man had been pressing her to stay and become his mate, and she was tempted. She told the First that she needed to talk to her, and maybe Ayla, too. When they met, she began by presenting reasons why she should stay and mate the man who obviously wanted her so much, cajoling and smiling as though she felt she needed permission and was trying to get their agreement. The First had been more than aware of what was going on, and had made a few inquiries.
“Amelana, you are a grown woman who has been mated and unfortunately widowed, and will soon be a mother who will have the responsibility of taking care of the new life that is growing inside you. The choice is entirely yours. You don’t need my permission or anyone else’s,” the First began. “But since you asked to speak with me, I presume it is because you want some advice.”
“Well, yes, I guess so,” Amelana said. She seemed surprised that it had been so easy. She thought she would have to wheedle and coax the Zelandoni to agree to the proposed new mating.
“First of all, have you met the people of his Cave, or any of his relatives?” the woman asked.
“Sort of. I’ve shared a few meals with some cousins, but mostly there have been so many feasts and celebrations, we haven’t needed to eat with his Cave,” Amelana said.
“Do you remember what you said when you asked to come along on this Journey? You said that you wanted to go home so you could be with your mother and family to have your baby. More than that, you weren’t happy when Jacharal moved with friends and relatives to start a new Cave—at least in part, I’m sure, because you didn’t know them very well. They were all excited about starting in someplace new, but you had already left the familiar behind and were in a new place. You wanted to be settled and wanted people to be excited about your new baby. Isn’t that right?” the First said.
“Yes, but he’s older. He’s settled. He’s not going to start a new Cave. I asked him,” Amelana said.
The First smiled. “At least you asked that. He is a charming, attractive man, but he is older. Did you wonder why he wants a new mate now? Did you ask if he already has a mate? Or if he ever had one?”
“Not exactly. He said he had been waiting for just the right woman,” Amelana said, frowning.
“Just the right woman to help his first woman take care of her five children?”
“His first woman? Five children?” Amelana’s frown deepened. “He didn’t say anything about five children.”
“Did you ask him?”
“No, but why didn’t he tell me?�
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“Because he didn’t have to, Amelana. You didn’t ask him. His mate told him to find another woman to help her, but everyone here knows he already has one woman and her children at his hearth. Since she’s his first, she would have the status and the say. She’s the one who brings the status to that arrangement, in any case. He doesn’t have much besides good looks and a charming way. We’re leaving tomorrow. If you decide to mate him, no one here will bring you back home to your mother’s Cave.”
“I am not staying here,” Amelana said, angrily. “But why would he trick me like that? Why didn’t he tell me?”
“You’re an attractive woman, Amelana, but very young, and you like attention. He will no doubt find a second woman, but she won’t be young and pretty, with no one to stand up for her once we’re gone. That is what he’d rather have. That’s why you are so right for him. The woman he’ll find will likely be older, maybe not very attractive. She may have a couple of children of her own, or if he’s lucky she’ll be a woman who couldn’t have children, and will be happy to find a charming man with a family, willing to take her in and make her part of his family. I’m sure that’s what his first woman is hoping for, not a pretty young woman who will leave with the first man who makes her a better offer. I’m sure that’s what you would do, even if it means you would lose status.”
Amelana looked shocked at the First’s straightforward remarks; then she started to cry. “Am I really that bad?”
“I didn’t say you were bad, Amelana. I said you were young, and like most attractive young women, especially those with high status, you are used to getting your own way. But you have a child on the way. You are going to have to learn to put your child’s needs ahead of your own wants.”
“I don’t want to be a bad mother,” Amelana wailed. “But what if I don’t know how to be a good mother?”
“You will be,” Ayla said, speaking for the first time, “especially once you are home with your mother. She will help you. And even if you didn’t have a mother, you would fall in love with your baby just like most mothers do. It’s the way the Great Mother made women, at least most women, and many men, too. You are a loving person, Amelana. You will be a fine mother.”
The First smiled. “Why don’t you go and get your things ready, Amelana,” she said, more kindly. “We’ll be leaving early tomorrow.”
The company of travelers set out the next day, following one of the three rivers that came together near the Seventh Cave of South Land Zelandonii. They used the shallow Crossing Place at the Campsite to reach the other side, and kept to the river’s meandering course in the beginning. Then, rather than following the twists and turns of the waterway, they decided to strike out across country heading more east than south.
This was all new country to Ayla and to Jonayla, of course, but she was so young, it was unlikely that she would remember when she got older that she had been this way before. It was unfamiliar to Jondalar as well, though he knew he had been here with Willamar and his mother, and Marthona’s other children. Jonokol hadn’t traveled much, so it was new to him as well, and Amelana didn’t recall anything about the region, though she had come through it from her Southern Cave. It just wasn’t anything she paid attention to at the time. Her mind had been filled with her exciting new mate, who couldn’t seem to stay away from her, and daydreams about her new home. The First had been in the general vicinity several times, but not for quite a while, and she didn’t recall it except in a general way. It was the Trade Master who knew it well. He had brought his two assistants before, but they would need to know it equally well. Willamar was looking for certain landmarks to help him guide the way.
As they traveled, the landscape was changing in subtle ways every day. They were gaining elevation and the country was becoming more rugged. There were more limestone outcrops, often accompanied by brush and even small woods growing around them, and less open grassland. Though they were increasing altitude, it was also gradually warming as the summer wore on, and the vegetation was changing as they journeyed south. They saw fewer coniferous trees, like spruces, firs, and junipers, and more deciduous types like larches, and the small-leaf variety such as willows and birches, also fruit and nut trees and occasionally big-leaf maples and oaks. Even the grasses changed, less rye grass and more of the wheat types such as emmer and spelt, although mixed fields were common that included triticale and many herbaceous plants.
While traveling, they hunted a variety of large and small game as they came upon it and gathered the vegetable produce that grew so abundantly at this time of year, but they weren’t thinking about storing for future use, so their needs were not great. Except for Jonayla, they were healthy adults who were capable of foraging for food and taking care of themselves. The large woman did not hunt or gather, but as the First, she contributed in her own way. She walked some of the time, and the more she did, the more she was able to, but when she got tired, she rode the travois and did not slow them down. It was primarily Whinney who pulled her on her special pole-drag, but Ayla and Jondalar were training the other horses to pull the large travois as well. Though they moved slowly enough that the horses could graze along the way, especially in the morning and evening, they made good time, and with the weather remaining pleasant, their trek felt like an agreeable excursion.
They had been traveling for several days, heading generally southeast; then one morning Willamar started out due east, at times even a little north, almost as though he were following a trail. They climbed up around a jutting ridge and behind it there was a trail, but barely wide enough for the extended legs of the First’s pole-drag.
“Perhaps you should walk, Zelandoni,” Willamar said. “It’s not much farther.”
“Yes, I think I will,” she said. “If I recall right, the trail narrows more up ahead.”
“There is a wide spot around the next bend. You might want to leave the pole-drag there, Ayla,” Willamar suggested. “I don’t think the trail will accommodate it.”
“Pole-drags don’t do well on steep trails. We found that out before,” she said, including Jondalar with a glance.
When they reached the wide place, they helped the Donier down, and proceeded to unhitch the conveyance. Then they continued walking up the trail, with Willamar in the lead and the rest of the travelers behind him. Ayla, Jondalar, and Jonayla with the animals brought up the rear.
They traversed a few more legs of the zigzag path and one steep climb up the trail and suddenly found themselves on a relatively broad, grassy shelf at the back of which, amid the smoke of a few fires, was a collection of rather substantial shelters made of wood and hides, with grass thatch roofs. A crowd of people was standing in front of the dwellings facing the approaching visitors, but Ayla could not tell if they were especially glad to see them. They seemed defensive; no one was smiling and some held spears, though they were not aimed at anyone.
Ayla had seen that kind of reception before and subtly signaled the wolf to stay close. She could hear the slight rumble in his throat as he moved in front of her in a protective stance. She looked at Jondalar, who had put himself in front of Jonayla and held her there, though she struggled to see around him. The horses were prancing lightly with nervousness, and their ears were pricked forward. Jondalar took a better grip on the lead ropes of Racer and Gray and looked toward Ayla as she put a hand on Whinney’s neck.
“Willamar!” a voice called out. “Is that you?”
“Farnadal! Of course it’s me, and a few others, mostly from the Ninth Cave. I thought you’d be expecting us. Aren’t Kimeran and Jondecam here yet?” Willamar said.
“No, they aren’t,” Farnadal said. “Should they be?”
“Are they coming?” a female voice said, with a happy touch of excitement.
“We expected them to be here already. No wonder you look so surprised to see us,” Willamar said.
“You are not the one who surprises me,” Farnadal said, with a sardonic look.
“I think some intr
oductions are in order,” Willamar said. “I’ll begin with the First Among Those Who Serve The Great Earth Mother.”
Farnadal gasped, then caught himself and stepped forward. Once he looked more closely he recognized her both from her general description and from her tattoos. He had met her before but it had been some time and they had both changed since then.
“In the name of Doni you are welcome, Zelandoni the First,” he said, then held out both hands and continued with the formal greeting. The rest of the travelers were introduced, with Jondalar and Ayla last.
“This is Jondalar of the Ninth Cave of the Zelandonii, Master Flint-Knapper …,” the Master Trader began, then continued with Ayla’s introduction.
“This is Ayla of the Ninth Cave of the Zelandonii, formerly of the Lion Camp of the Mamutoi …,” Willamar said. He noticed Farnadal’s expression change as he gave her names and ties, and especially when she greeted him and he heard her speak.
The introductions, by inference, had told him quite a lot about the woman. First that she was a foreigner, which was obvious when she spoke, who had been adopted as a full Zelandonii, in her own right, not just mated to someone who was a Zelandonii, which was unusual in itself. Then that she belonged to the zelandonia, and had become an acolyte of the First. And although the man was holding ropes that had been tied around two horses and was controlling them, she was given the credit for all the animals. It was obvious that she had power over the other horse, and the wolf even without ropes. It seemed to him that she must already be a Zelandoni, not just an acolyte, even of the First.