She pushes open her door and unsnaps her vest, throwing it on the recliner before bringing her hands up to her bun, taking her hair down, her fingers rubbing her scalp.
Damn.
She turns around to look at me, her eyes widening like she forgot I was there. “I’m exhausted,” she breathes, rubbing her eyes. “I’m going to go take a shower. Make yourself at home.”
She practically runs off to the bathroom. I pull off my vest and plop it down next to hers.
* * *
Etta
I am scared, terrified of this man. Not in a way where I am scared for my life, but I’m scared because he’s making me feel things I’ve never felt before.
The way he was looking at me before I ran into the shower, it was a lot. I couldn’t miss his desire for me, but he had so much more in his gaze than that.
I am scared of that.
I want to be a normal twenty-four-year-old having sex, meeting guys, and living the best life.
I’m scared. Sex has always had negative associations for me, and I still have that in my head sometimes, no matter how much therapy I undergo.
People claim that it’s the best thing ever, but I can’t help but feel that fear and doubt.
I know that’s not happening tonight, but that is a fear of mine. It can’t be helped. I can’t help the thoughts I think or the feelings I feel.
Then it hits me that I didn’t bring any clothes to change into. “Hey Konrad, can you bring me something to wear? Just open the door and drop it in?” I ask loudly so he can hear me.
A few minutes later the door opens just enough to slip something in. I can’t help but smile at him being respectful and not taking a peek.
I knew he was gentleman, but this just made him ten times more attractive to me.
I turn off the shower, dry and lotion my body, brush my teeth and I gather the clothes he gave me.
I stare in shock at the shirt he gave me. It’s his. I laugh and hesitate to put on his shirt. I take a deep breath, breathing in his smell before I slip it over my body and put on the boy short panties he dropped in too.
I won’t be scared, not anymore. My abusers don’t deserve to make me feel that way anymore. I am my own woman now.
I turn off the light and push open the door. Konrad is sitting on the edge of the bed looking through the TV channels.
He is shirtless and wearing a pair of jeans. My eyes go to his abs—he has an eight-pack at least. He has chest hair and it speckles all the way down to his happy trail.
He is the most beautiful man I have ever seen, hands down. I start to shake at the intensity of his gaze.
“Do you want some sweatpants or something?” I stammer out. He nods, his eyes not leaving me for a second, like he’s trying to memorize everything.
He stands and I walk to my closet, getting the biggest pair of sweatpants I can find. He takes them from me, his hands settling on mine for a second, our eyes connected.
I slide onto the bed and pull the covers over my legs. He steps out of the closet and I almost fall over from laughing so hard.
The sweatpants are literal leggings on him. I snort and hold my stomach. He turns around, and I cover my mouth because his butt is absolutely huge. “I never knew men could have big butts like that,” I tease.
He laughs with me. “I think I’ll have to just sleep in my boxers.”
I nod in agreement, tears rolling down my face, but that soon stops when I see him standing in front of me in just his boxers.
He walks over and turns off the lights and moves in the direction of the living room, sitting on the couch.
Instantly I’m disappointed. “The couch is very small. I have plenty of room here. If you wanted, just to sleep.” I had to elaborate the last part, my face burning. He probably didn’t even know that, Etta! I scold myself.
He hesitates before walking to me. “Darlin’, the last thing I want to do is to make you uncomfortable or feel unsafe in your own home. I can sleep here just fine.”
I don't think I could feel safer than I did earlier in his arms. “Come on, I feel safe with you.”
I know what my words have done to him. His expression changes to one that has my heart skipping a little beat. He walks to me slowly, pulling back the blanket and lying next to me.
“Plus it’s a little cold in here,” I say nonchalantly.
“Yes, that’s definitely it, darlin’.” His eyes twinkle, showing his amusement. I turn on my side to face him, and I smile, studying his face.
He catches me looking and turns to face me just as I am here. “But for what it’s worth, sweetheart, there’s nowhere else I’d rather be than here.” He lifts his hand, pushing my hair off of my face and over my shoulders, his hand coming around to cup the side of my neck.
“I want to kiss you,” he states.
Butterflies take over my stomach. I shakily lift my hand to his on my neck. “What’s stopping you?” I whisper, shocked I even said that but proud of myself.
He doesn’t waste a second. He presses his lips to mine, completely taking over and kissing me until my toes curl.
Every single part of my body is tingling, desire pooling between my legs on top of shaking so hard I’m sure he is feeling it.
His finger strokes my cheekbone. He kisses me gently, tenderly, and it has so much feeling behind it.
This means something.
This is also my first true kiss, the one I wanted and not one where my ex just smashed his mouth to mine before he did what he wanted.
I move closer, putting my hand on his shoulder to anchor myself. His fingers drift from my face, burying in my hair, pulling me closer, controlling my movements.
He slowly pulls away, his eyes opening, looking into mine. He leans forward, kissing me gently on the forehead, placing a sweet, caring kiss there. “Goodnight, baby,” he whispers.
My eyes fill with tears. That small kiss on my forehead was one of respect and tenderness.
I have never felt that before.
I scoot closer, throwing my leg over his, cuddling into his side, feeling so safe and warm. “Goodnight, Konrad.”
5
Etta
I wake up on my stomach with Konrad practically lying on top of me. I smile and pull the pillow under my neck, loving waking up like this.
His hand is rubbing my back, hip, and legs. “Good morning,” he whispers in my ear, pushing my hair over my shoulder and kissing my cheek.
“Good morning.” I look over and smile. His hair is mussed up on one side.
“I want to take you out for some late breakfast.” He wraps his arm around me, hugging me further into his front.
I could lie here forever.
“Okay,” I mumble, closing my eyes again for a second. He slides out of bed, taking all of the heat with him.
“It’s cold.” My teeth chatter.
He walks into my closet. I sit up and pull my legs to the side of the bed. He comes back a second later with a sweatshirt of mine and a pair of leggings.
Is he really going to dress me?
He stops in front of me. “Arms up,” he tells me, and I lift my arms. He lifts his shirt over my head, and all I’m wearing is a sports bra.
What shocks me is he doesn’t look down at me. He keeps his eyes on my face the whole time.
He truly respects me.
I put my arms through the holes, warming me instantly. “Is that better?” He takes a hold of my hand.
“Much.” My voice is thick from emotions, ones I’m not used to feeling.
He bends over, putting my legs through the leggings and I stand up, his eyes on me once more as he lifts them up and over my butt, not once touching me in a sexual way.
It’s like this is his way of letting me know that I can trust him.
My heart is heavy. “Sit back down, honey.” I do as he asks. He grabs my hairbrush and a ponytail holder.
He moves behind me, his legs on either side of me. I close my eyes at the first feel of the brush br
istles moving along my scalp and hair.
I sit here and let him brush my hair over and over, then he gathers my hair in the back, his fingers moving through the strands, then I hear the snap of the hair tie. I look over and see he has braided my hair down my back.
“Konrad, you make me feel cherished.” My heart hurts from all of the emotions I’m feeling at once.
His face softens and his hand wraps around the bottom of my chin. “That’s all I ever want from you, darlin’.”
I can’t resist the urge. I turn around and crawl up to him, wrapping my arms around his neck, needing to feel close to him.
He lifts me so my legs are on either side of him. His hands snake their way under my sweatshirt, running down my back.
There is a loud knock at the door and I jump completely off his lap, holding my heart. I’m not used to others coming up here.
Konrad doesn’t let me go far. “Hey, it’s just a prospect bringing me clothes. Are you okay?” he asks.
I nod, laughing it off. “Yes, I’m fine, I just got startled.”
He studies me a few seconds before he goes to the door. “Knock quieter next time, fucker.” Konrad grabs his stuff and slams the door shut.
I laugh loudly. “You didn’t have to do that.”
He gives me a look. “I don’t give a fuck. He scared you. I don’t like that shit, ever.”
There go those damn butterflies. He slips into the bathroom to get changed and I take my phone off of the nightstand, noticing I have a missed call from Techy.
I call him back. “Hey, what do you have for me?” I ask.
“Good news. I found Robert’s mother. They have her in a house for the women they deem bad and need exorcized.”
I jolt at the last part. Fear fills my stomach. That was what was about to happen to me. My family was the last resort before I was sent away there.
This is where they send the women who don’t mind their husband. They claim the devil is inside of them and that they must exorcize the demon out.
It’s hell. They starve you, hurt you, beat you, rape you, on top of the exorcism that you get daily.
Not many things scare me, but that absolutely terrifies me. “Oh God, Techy, this is really bad. We need to go tonight to get her out. This is extremely important. I hope she’s still alive,” I rush out and pace the room, my anxiety through the roof.
“We have to get all of the women out of there. This is going to be a big mission. I need to contact Kyle and Lane. These girls are being tortured.”
He hangs up and I drop the phone onto the bed. I gather my vest and gun off of the chair. We have a meeting room here, so we can formulate a plan when the guys arrive.
This is so, so bad.
Konrad has to come. I know without a doubt that these girls are going to need medical attention.
Konrad walks out of the bathroom. I’m borderline having a panic attack and I know once Lynn hears this, it’s going to freak her out just as bad.
You think fearing your husband, your abusers is bad, but this? This is literal hell on earth. These women are not women in the cult’s eyes, they are meant to be broken.
“Etta, what’s wrong?” Konrad rushes to me and takes my face in his hands. “We found Robert’s mom. It’s so bad.” I sob the last part.
His body stiffens before he pulls me to his chest, comforting me. “What’s so bad, Etta?” he asks, his voice void of emotion.
I let out a deep breath, my voice cracking. I sit down onto the side of the bed and he sits next to me. I tell him exactly what happens there, what she is going through.
“I was almost sent there. They were coming in a matter of days before my brother took me out of that life.”
Konrad looks at me in shock. “That almost happened to you?”
I nod. “I was forced to marry when I was fourteen years old. My husband, Kenneth, was a very horrible man and he was around thirty years old when I married him. Lynn was forced to marry at thirteen. She had a two-year-old by the time she was sixteen.”
Konrad gives me the most heartbreaking look. “Baby,” he whispers. He reaches to touch me but fists his hands together in anger. “Is he still alive?”
I look at him in confusion. “Who?”
“The fucking pedophile? Your husband.” He spits out the last word.
I nod. “Yeah, he is. Vinny never found him.”
Konrad smiles. It’s scary. “He won’t be for much longer.”
Oh fuck.
“Almost everyone in the cult is abused, but they don’t break the cycle. It’s hell but it’s nothing compared to what Robert’s mom is going through.” My hands are shaking at the thought.
Konrad pulls me into his arms, setting me on his lap. “Darlin’, it fucking breaks my heart the shit you went through.” He grips my face gently, looking me dead in the eye. “I will make a promise to you. I will fucking make him suffer and whoever dared to hurt you.”
Oh fuck, I can see the sincerity behind his eyes. “You don’t have to do that,” I whisper.
He shakes his head. He is trembling with anger. “Darlin’, it fucking kills me that someone even touched you in any way that hurt you. When I see you, I see someone who deserves to be fucking cherished, cared for.”
My bottom lip trembles as I try to hold back the tears. I am overwhelmed with so much right now.
He pulls me into him and holds me so tight, like he’s afraid I’m going to be taken away from him.
I feel so safe and vulnerable at the same time, my story is known, but speaking it to a guy that I like? It’s so different and it’s scary because you don’t know how anyone is going to react.
“I feel safe with you,” I whisper, lifting my head to look at him. His face shows his appreciation at my words.
“Darlin’, you’re safe with me, always.” He kisses my forehead and lets out a deep breath, the silence surrounding us.
My stomach growls loudly, breaking the quiet. He laughs. “Come on, let me feed you.” He lifts me onto the ground, taking my hand, and we walk down to where his motorcycle is parked.
He hands me a helmet. “Ready to ride?” he asks, his eyes firmly on me, watching my every move.
Why do I feel like he’s asking me for more than that? I take the helmet, buckling it in. “More than ready.”
He grins widely, sliding on first. I take his hand and slide in behind him. He brings his hands behind my calves, pulling me flush against his back, and my hands rest on his abs.
He takes off and I close my eyes. The air is slightly chilly. This is amazing and what I needed. I needed to get out of my head.
He drives through town to a new little restaurant. It’s two o’ clock in the afternoon but they serve breakfast all day long.
We are seated, and much to my surprise, Konrad sits next to me. “Are you coming on the mission tonight? Lane and Kyle will be at the compound later. We need to plan.”
He flips the menu over. “Where you go, I go.” He gives me a cheesy wink and I giggle.
“We need to bring the medical van—you’re a doctor and all.” I bump my shoulder into his arm.
He grips the menu hard. I wince internally because I brought up the bad shit again.
“Darlin’, drop that fucking look. I was thinking of those women. It’s not you,” he reassures me, seeing my look.
I nod. “Bossy,” I mutter under my breath loud enough for him to hear. He laughs and kisses my temple.
It takes me by surprise for a second. I’m not used to so much physical contact but I like it—and I like it a lot coming from Konrad.
The waiter takes our order. “For our second date I’ll take you to a fancy restaurant.”
This is a date? I can’t stop the smile at the knowledge. “Okay.” I smile at him, his eyes going to my dimples.
“Darlin’, have I told you how fucking heartbreakingly beautiful you are?” he tells me bluntly, causing my poor heart to race once more.
“Konrad,” I whisper and lay my head on his sh
oulder. “You’re so kind to me.”
He wraps his arm around me, cuddling me close right in the middle of the restaurant. “I want to do a lot of things to you.”
Blink, blink. It takes me a few seconds to wrap my head around what he’s saying and I bust out laughing.
He chuckles with me, tucking a strand of hair that’s fallen from my braid behind my ear. He watches me laugh. I try to cover my mouth, but he tears my hand away. “Don’t hide it.”
“What?” I ask, wiping under my eyes from laughing so hard.
“Your smile, baby.” I internally sigh. I’m not sure how to even react around him. I smile and look down at the menu, feeling lightweight and just so happy. This is all so new for me.
“I need to check on my sister and Michaela. Do you mind stopping off there before we head back to the compound?” I ask.
“Yeah, sure thing.”
When I get to my sister’s I knock on the door. Usually I just walk straight in but I don't want to scare Michaela.
I can see Lynn peering from the kitchen to see who it is. She smiles and walks to the door. She has her finger to her mouth to make sure I’m quiet.
I step inside of the house. I look into the living room to see Tristan holding Michaela, who is fast asleep. Tristan is out too.
Lynn waves me into the kitchen. I follow her, with Konrad right behind me. “How is she?’ I ask.
Lynn sits down, holding her face. “She has a therapy session later with one of my good friends. She didn’t sleep all night until she crawled into Tristan’s lap.” She stops, tears filling her eyes. “She’s hurting. There’s nothing I can do to help her. They almost got my baby. I’m not sure I can recover from that.” Her voice cracks into a sob. I walk over and pull her to me, hugging her tight and letting her cry all of the tears she wants.
I look over at Konrad, who looks unsure of what to do, but the worst part of this is…there’s nothing you can do.
Me and Lynn have suffered a lot in our lives, but we have protected Michaela from all of that. Our past life hasn’t touched her.
Konrad Page 5