by Rachel Hanna
She also spent time looking on social media, spying on every Victoria in the Boston area. She looked for hours one night, buoyed by strong coffee and the occasional glass of wine. After looking at herself in the mirror, she realized that it was a bad road she was on and closed the computer.
And then the day came where Meg called from overseas, her voice shaky and her nose stuffed up. Julie prayed it was a cold, but she knew better.
“Daddy called me,” was all she said before bursting into tears again.
“I’m so sorry, sweetie.”
“How could he do this to us?”
“I don’t know. I had no idea.”
“I’m coming home.”
“No, Meggy. You can’t.”
“Mom, you need at least one of us to come home. And Colleen has her big internship now. I can miss a semester and…”
“No! And that’s final. Look, it’s going to be hard, but I’ll make it through. I promise.”
“Are you sure? You’ve never been alone.”
She wasn’t sure at all. Not even a little bit. But she was a mother, and mothers have to fake being sure most of the time.
“I’m sure. I’m going to keep working, find myself a new place to live and get used to being a single woman. We’ll get through this, Meg.”
Meg sniffled. “I know. I love you.”
“I love you too.”
If the call with Meg had been hard, the one with Colleen had been almost impossible. At first, it went much the same, but Colleen was blunt and stubborn. She wasn’t crying. She was livid, and Julie could practically hear the smoke shooting out of her ears from the other side of the country.
“I don’t know what’s gotten into Dad! Ya’ll have always been the epitome of a perfect marriage.”
“Nobody’s marriage is perfect, Colleen.”
“Well, I’m not talking to him. I don’t want to see him. And I sure don’t want to see his home wrecking fiancee!”
“Wait. Fiancee?”
Colleen was silent for a moment. “You didn’t know?”
“No. I didn’t.” Julie’s face felt like it was beet red as anger rose up once again. “We’re not even divorced.”
“That’s what I said, but apparently the papers are almost ready. I guess you should prepare yourself.”
“I know he’s your father, so I’m not going to say what I want to say right now.”
“Mom, I can come home. I’ll get an internship near Atlanta, so at least I’ll be closer to you instead of across the country.”
“No. As I told your sister, I need this time to myself. I’ll be fine. I just want to get the divorce over with, get settled in a new house and start making new memories.”
“What about Aunt Janine? I’m sure she’d love to hear from you…”
“Colleen, enough. You know how broken my relationship is with my sister. I haven’t spoken to her since you were in high school, and I don’t plan to start now.”
Just the mention of her older sister’s name made Julie nauseous. The two of them had grown up pretty close, much like Meg and Colleen had. But as they got older, their personality differences seemed to grow as wide as the Grand Canyon. Janine, ever the world traveler and wanna-be flower child, didn't understand when Julie decided to settle down right out of college with Michael. She thought he was a stick in the mud, and maybe she was right. But, even now, Julie found herself wanting to defend his honor.
Finally, when the kids were in high school, she and Janine had had such a blowout that their relationship was irretrievably broken. Sometimes, family isn't just about blood. And the last thing she needed right now was her flighty, all too strange sister showing up and wrecking her life.
Her sister had tried, at times, to reach out to her over the years. There was a time when she was at a yoga training retreat in some part of Indonesia that Julie couldn't pronounce. She had received postcards and letters from just about every corner of the globe, always with Janine rambling on about the crazy paths that her life had taken her on. All the while, Julie was at home, being the good wife, mother and responsible citizen she had always been.
If she was being honest with herself, there might of been a little jealousy at play. Everyone liked Janine growing up. She was loud, fun loving and said all the things that people were thinking but afraid to say out loud. But she was also irresponsible and constantly on the move, making it difficult to rely on her as a sister.
She had missed so many Easters and Christmases and birthdays for the girls because she was too busy gallivanting all over the place. Not to mention all of the different men she went through. It was like she considered them to be recyclable.
Julie didn't understand her and never would. She decided she'd rather be alone than be involved with her sister again. It just wasn't worth the turmoil as she definitely had plenty of that in her life right now.
“Okay. I was just trying to help, Mom. I hate to see you lonely.”
“Sweetie, there’s a difference between being lonely and being alone. I don’t think being alone is necessarily a bad thing.”
Even as she said it, she knew it wasn’t true. She still wanted her old memories. She wanted the husband she thought she had. She wanted to rewind and beg Michael to never go to Boston in the first place. She wanted a do-over.
As the days wore on, she went from feeling loss and pity for herself to feeling anger toward Michael and finally to feeling anger at herself for caring about him. She wanted to not care about him at all, to wipe his face from her memory.
But every moment in the house they shared together for all those years felt like an eternity now. She just wanted to get to the closing table, sign the papers and be done with it all.
“Mrs. Pike? Please come this way. The closing is in our conference room.” The woman led her down the hallway, lined with thick mahogany furniture and overly ornate paintings. No one was in the room yet as Julie was always early. “Would you like some coffee or tea?”
“No thanks.”
“Would you like to review the paperwork prior to the closing? I can bring the file…”
“No, thank you.”
“Alright then. The other parties should be here shortly.”
Julie nodded.
A large bowl of chocolate candy sat in the middle of the long, mahogany table. In her current stressed out state of mind, she thought about dumping as much of it into her purse as she could fit, but the attorney walked in before she could do it.
“Mrs. Pike?” he said, reaching out his hand.
“Yes, that’s me,” she said, rising from her chair slightly as she shook his hand. For a moment, she thought about her name. Mrs. She was about to be a Ms. Or could she go back to Miss? Maybe those days were over. What was the protocol? She’d never really thought about it.
“The buyer’s are coming in just a moment. Would you like any coffee? I can get my secretary to…”
“No thank you. Just ready to get the papers signed as soon as poss…”
Julie looked up to see Michael walking into the room. He was alone, thank goodness. She had no interest in seeing his new fiancee.
“Hey,” he said under his breath as he sat down beside her.
“Hello.” She thought about how this would be the last time they signed anything together as a couple. Well, except divorce papers, but they wouldn’t have to sit beside each other to do it.
“How are you?” he asked softly as the buyers made their way into the room and started chatting with the attorney.
“Please don’t act as if you care, Michael.”
“Of course I care, Jules… Julie, I mean.”
She couldn’t look at him. Here was the man she’d loved her whole life, yet the thought of sitting next to him made her sick. He’d not only been lying to her, but he’d been lying in the bed with another woman for almost two years. How hadn’t she seen the signs?
“Okay, folks, I guess we can get started. This big stack of papers might look time consuming, but
a lot of it is disclosures and so forth. We should be able to get through it all in about twenty minutes or so. Most of this is for the buyers, so let’s begin on this side of the table…”
Julie stared off into space for most of the process, only perking up when the attorney turned to their side of the table. She felt so alone, so lonely, even though her husband was sitting there. The man whose hand she’d held for over twenty years was within reach, but also not within reach. Her heart was still attached to his, but his was already with someone else. It all felt so cold and strange and sad.
“Mrs. Pike, I wanted to ask you about the front flower bed. How did you keep it so manicured?” the woman across from her asked. She and her husband, obviously excited about their new home and totally in love, looked giddy as they signed the papers for their first home. Young and in love. She felt that way once. A long time ago. Now, she just felt rage and a few occasional homicidal feelings.
She wanted to grab the woman’s hands and warn her that men changed. That she’d better be on guard and watch him because he could leave her in the lurch in an instant. She wanted to urge her to keep things in her name, and to always have a good attorney on speed dial. Romance, shmomance.
“Oh, I… we hired a service.” She wrote down the name of the company and slid it across the table, doing her best to be cordial when she really just wanted to get out of there.
“I love the adorable archway you built in the back!”
“We renewed our vows there a few years ago,” she said without thinking. Her eyes welled with tears as she remembered that day. Both of her girls served as honorary bridesmaids while their friends and family watched them renew their love at the fifteen year mark.
“Julie, you’re my world. You always have been. There will never be a day that I don’t love you. I promise to always put you first and to spend the rest of my life thanking God for you.”
What had gone wrong since then?
“I bet we’ll do the same one day, right, babe?” the woman said as she turned to her husband and gave him a quick kiss. Julie wanted to flee the scene. Babe. She’d always hated that term of endearment. Today, especially.
“Maybe we should get back to signing the papers,” Michael said, sensing Julie’s discomfort. Was he trying to protect her? Probably not. More than likely, he was trying to get back to his hussy and love child.
“Okay, here’s the closing statement. If everyone can take a look at their side, we’ll start here at the top…”
For the next few minutes, they stared at a long, legal sheet of paper with more numbers than Julie had ever seen. Normally, Michael handled this type of thing. Numbers were never her forte. She was a brilliant writer, decorator and cook, but numbers made her eyes cross.
Julie looked at the last number which was their profit on the sale. Of course, it would be split down the middle when they each walked away. Twenty-one years of marriage would be done soon, and she’d get her cut of the money to start over as a single woman. Never had she thought she would have that title again.
Although her online business had given them some fun money over the years, it likely wouldn’t support her once the house money ran out. No matter what, she’d have to get a job, and that thought terrified her. She hadn’t worked since before Colleen was born, and she’d never intended to go back. Who’d want to hire a forty-three year old woman who hadn’t worked in over twenty years?
Sure, she could ask for alimony in the divorce, but there was a large part of her that was too prideful to do it. She didn’t want a long fight in court, and she didn’t want his tainted money flowing into her bank account each month. It didn’t make logical sense, but it was the way she felt.
She felt pretty sure Michael was hiding money somewhere that he was using to support his skank and kid. Thinking of ways to describe the woman was her new hobby, although it probably wasn’t the right thing to do.
As they wrapped up the closing, the buyers hugged her without warning. She tried to be nice, but she just wanted to get to her car as quickly as possible without talking to Michael again. Any future communication would be through their attorneys.
The paralegal handed her a check which was her half of the money from the sale. Julie slipped it into her purse and walked quickly out of the office into the parking lot. As if life hadn’t been hard enough in the last couple of weeks, she was met by a woman who was holding an adorable little boy. The woman’s eyes popped open as she tried to turn back toward her car.
“Victoria, I thought you were waiting in the car…” Michael said from behind.
“I’m sorry, honey. Charlie had a little accident, so I was trying to make it to the bathroom.”
Julie stared at her, unable to move her legs. She was gorgeous, and she sure as heck didn’t look just a year younger. Her picture was probably next to “voluptuous” in the dictionary, and her hair was black as midnight and hung almost to her waist. The little boy was adorable and would probably grow up to be a model himself.
“You’re Victoria.” That was all she could say. No other words were coming out.
“Yes,” she said quietly. Michael reached over and took the boy, standing back a bit as if he wasn’t sure what was about to go down. Julie continued staring at her. “I’m not sure what to say.”
“You knew he was married?”
Victoria looked at Michael and then back at Julie. “Not at first. But yes, for most of the time we’ve…”
“Been sleeping together,” Julie said, finishing her sentence.
“Okay.” Why didn’t this woman seem apologetic?
Julie took in a deep breath, determined to take the high road. “Just remember this. What they’ll do with you, they’ll do to you. Good luck because you’re going to need it.”
Without looking back, Julie walked to her car. She cranked it, drove out of sight into another office park, turned it off and sobbed for half an hour before driving home to meet the movers.
Chapter 3
Julie sat in her car, outside of the little bistro, and procrastinated. Why had she agreed to this? All she really wanted to do was get back to her extended stay suite, pop some macaroni and cheese into the mini microwave and watch a marathon of court TV shows. Maybe that would prepare her for the divorce proceedings that were coming up soon.
Instead, she’d stupidly agreed to lunch with her well-to-do friends from the country club. Mallory, Tiffany and Heidi were well meaning, most of the time. But they were just about as stuck-up and stereotypical rich housewives as any of the women she’d seen on reality TV. And they were literally carbon copies of each other, complete with seemingly perfect husbands and children.
Truth be told, she’d fallen into that stereotype herself a few times, but she’d always tried to come back to who she really was at her core. She was the daughter of Richard, an accountant, who had passed away when she was a junior in high school, and SuAnn, a stay-at-home mom for her and her sister’s entire upbringing. SuAnn had never worked outside of the home, didn’t have a degree and was content baking and sewing and ringing the dinner bell that hung on their front porch every night when the street lights came on.
They’d lived a perfectly middle class life in their one-story brick ranch house on the outskirts of Atlanta. There’d been no country clubs or housekeepers or vacations when she was a kid. There were lots of homemade biscuits, pops on the legs with switches when they misbehaved and early morning Sunday school classes.
But her friends, as she loosely thought of them, hadn’t experienced the same upbringing. They were all “from money”, and marrying wealthy men had only intensified their status.
Mallory’s father had invented something that had to do with cell phones back in the day, and her family had been rolling in dough ever since. When she married Devin, a software developer with a genius IQ, her life was set. They had three kids together, all of whom had white blond hair and looked like they belonged on a beach vacation brochure.
Tiffany had been raised with
a silver spoon in her mouth too, but Julie had no idea where the money came from. Tiff didn’t talk about it too much, and Julie had often wondered if there was some criminal activity in her family’s past. Either way, when Tiff met Allesandro ten years ago, she was set for life too. The man was a freaking Italian race car driver and looked like he’d been chiseled from stone.
And then there was Heidi. She was a nice woman, but her level of intellect was right about the same as the Basset Hound Julie had loved growing up. Heidi just didn’t drool… that she knew of, anyway. Heidi’s mother had been a fashion designer back in France, where she was born, and Heidi had spent her early years on the runway. Her parents had moved to the US when Heidi was in high school, and she’d met Pierre, a French exchange student in the US at the time, and sparks flew. Their marriage was probably the most normal looking from the outside, but Pierre also traveled a lot like Michael, and that made Julie wonder.
“Are you coming or what?” Mallory asked, knocking on her window. She’d been so lost in thought that she hadn’t noticed her friends looking at her from a table outside.
Julie forced a smile and opened her door. “Sorry. I was off in la la land for a minute.”
Mallory poked out her lower lip and glanced at the table where Tiffany and Heidi sat, also with sad looks on their faces.
“I know, sweetie. We all heard what happened with Michael. Terrible! Just terrible! Come with me. We already have a bottle of wine and big basket of bread,” she said, sliding her arm around Julie’s waist like she was going to have to hold her up.
“Wine? It’s not even noon yet…”
“Desperate times call for desperate measures!” Mallory said breathlessly as she ushered Julie to the table.
“I’m not really desperate, Mal…” she tried to say as they approached Heidi and Tiffany. Both women stood up and hugged her from opposite sides, Heidi taking the added measure to nuzzle her head against Julie’s neck. The whole thing was a little much, and Julie noticed people staring.