Woof. Rocket reminded me that I couldn’t spend all day in Kira’s parking space. I made my way to the dog park on autopilot, put Rocket on his leash, and headed into the November chill, mood as gray as the skies. Rocket got all excited as we approached the off-leash area, but even seeing him trying to get a large sheep dog to play chase wasn’t enough to make me smile. I pulled my coat closer.
But not everyone at the park was acting bleak. Ahead of me, two teen girls, probably ditching class from the nearby high school, sat on a picnic table, laughing and joking. They had on sweatshirts, not coats, but they seemed to not have a care for the weather. Kira’s face flashed in my head. How different might our lives have been if we’d been friends—really friends—in school? If she’d been less of an untouchable princess to me, a fantasy girl, and more of a real person? If we’d had adventures together, kept in touch through the years?
If we had that sort of history, I wouldn’t hesitate to go to her if we’d had an argument, to try to make up for my awful tendency to put my foot in it. But we hadn’t been friends in the past, and I didn’t know what to say to her, what might make things right. The girls on the table leaned into each other, looking at something on a phone. Rocket ran back to me, looking for attention before he was gone again, romping with a big Lab. He always saw big dogs as this sort of personal challenge—he’d never met a dog he wouldn’t try to befriend, and he’d keep at it until they finally gave in and played with him. I envied him both his tenacity and the ease with which he made connections.
Why did this have to be so hard? Why was I always so damn unlucky—
Wait.
Maybe it wasn’t all bad luck when it came to relationships. I had this tendency to let my girlfriends run away, not chase after them. I supposed I was the opposite of Rocket. I tended to only approach sure things romantically, and then run away when things got challenging. All my breakups had been mutual, but I also couldn’t say that I’d fought particularly hard to keep any of my exes either. I didn’t like rejection.
Maybe that was why I’d let Kira go without much fight after she asked to be taken home. It was easier than chasing her. Easier than apologizing—like really apologizing. That sort of vulnerability didn’t come easy to me. And maybe chasing after Kira was more than I was capable of—Rocket, I was not. But as I loaded him back up into the car, I saw the knitting bag I’d packed for Kira—the basic yarn and pattern. And I didn’t want to head straight home, go lick my wounds, tell myself again that I was simply unlucky when it came to love. I didn’t want to do the same thing I’d done the last decade. Longer, really.
I stared out my windshield at the park. The teen girls were still sitting on the picnic table. What if I’d tried to make friends back then? Made the first move? Tried something other than longing for her from a distance? Did I really want to spend the next ten years wondering how things could have gone differently between us?
Maybe we’d had last night’s chance meeting for a reason.
And maybe it was time I took a lesson from Rocket and got brave. Resolved, I headed back to Kira’s building and parked in her space. I got lucky and caught the door to the building right as someone else was coming out and didn’t have to buzz Kira’s apartment. I wrangled Rocket and the knitting bag into the elevator, and when we arrived on her floor, I went right to her door, knocked awkwardly with Rocket still in my arms.
“Beatrice?” Kira frowned as she opened the door. She’d lost her shoes at some point, her bare feet and shiny red toenails making her look more approachable. “What are you doing here?”
“I forgot to give you something. And I came to apologize.” My heart sped up, but I got the words out.
“You don’t need to.” Even as she said that, she ushered me and Rocket into the apartment, let the door shut behind us. “You were right. I’m on the rebound. Starting something would be foolish—”
“Then let’s be foolish together.” I couldn’t reach for her with Rocket in my arms, so I set him down along with the knitting gift bag, keeping hold of his leash. Taking her hand, I squeezed as I looked her right in the eyes.
“I don’t usually do things like that, but maybe we can be friends,” she allowed.
“Maybe it’s time you started,” I countered. “And I don’t want to be friends.”
“You don’t?” She blinked at me.
“I didn’t want to be friends with you back in high school, either—that was the whole problem. I had this giant crush on you. My mom says you never forget your first crush, and she’s right. I think I was scared to pursue a friendship with you, scared to be friends and never get what I really wanted, so I never tried.”
“We’re not in high school anymore.” She bit her full lower lip.
“I know. And you were right when you said that I was making assumptions again about you. And that I made them back then—I’d always just assumed that there was no way you’d ever be into me like that. Maybe I was protecting myself from hurt, but I also never really took the time to get to know you—all of you. And I want that now.”
“But not as friends?” Her head tilted, and she leaned back against the sofa, dropping my hand.
“I am here to formally apply for the position of being your rebound…whatever.” All my muscles shaking, I tried to give her a grin. “And to not assume what you need or want. But I’m not going to let my own fears hold me back anymore. If a fling is what you need, then I want to be that. And if it’s something more, then I want that too. And yeah, I want to be friends, but not only friends. I want a chance, Kira.”
“And if I don’t know which it is? Fling or something more?” Studying her nails, she dropped her voice to a bare whisper. “I wasn’t lying—I did feel a spark between us. Something worth pursuing maybe. Being around you last night made me happy, made me forget Gwen, made me feel hopeful. But I can’t say as I know exactly what I need right now. And that scares me. I’m used to having a plan.”
“Maybe we don’t need one.” I took her hand again. “Maybe we can just see what happens. Maybe we ran into each other last night for a reason.”
“A do-over from school? I’m not sure I want to be some…wish fulfillment for you. I mean, I won’t deny that I was attracted to you back then and never acted on it. I wanted to be brave like you, wanted to go to your LGBTQ club meetings, but it was…easier, safer to keep my distance from that part of myself. But we’re not teenagers now. I don’t want to be a…checkmark on some list.”
“You’re not. I want to find out what we can be—who we can be if we drop the assumptions and the fears and simply explore whatever this is. As adults. Two people who felt something last night and are brave enough to admit that, timing and past history be damned. I don’t want to let this chance pass us by.”
She kept me waiting for several long moments, my heart racing more with each passing second, until finally she spoke. “Me either. I’ve let too many chances go for practical reasons. You make me want to be impractical and, yes, foolish. But…” She sucked in a deep breath, and I braced myself for whatever was coming next. “Beatrice, I’m serious. I don’t like when people make assumptions, tell me what I feel or what I need. I want to be listened to. Whether we’re friends or a fling or something more, I need that.”
“I was wrong to do that. I promise to do better at listening to you. Asking questions. Not just making assumptions. Not letting my fears and insecurities lead me. Can you be patient with me while I figure that out? I might screw it up while I practice how to be a better human. But I want to do better.”
“I want to do better too.” Pushing away from the couch, she closed the distance between us, torsos brushing, face inches from mine. “I want to take more risks. Starting with this.”
I saw the kiss coming, and she gave me plenty of time to move away, but hell if I was doing anything other than meeting her mouth eagerly. Rocket wrapped the leash around our feet, but I wasn’t going to pull away, wasn’t going to let this moment get away from us. As we kis
sed, I honestly didn’t know what we were starting—rebound fling or the thing I’d always wanted and never had. Maybe this would be a story we told the grandkids, but maybe it wouldn’t. And that was okay. That was a risk I was willing to take, just like her. It was okay to not know, okay to be a little foolish and impetuous. And beyond all that giddiness, for the first time I knew that I’d do the hard work to give us every chance of success. No more giving up too soon, not chasing what I most wanted. I wanted this, wanted this kiss, wanted her, and that was more than enough worth fighting for.
9
Six months later
“Do you think she’ll like it?” Kira looked down at the wrapped box in her lap as I turned down the tree-lined drive for my parents’ house.
“This is Alice we’re talking about. She’s easy to please. A designer day-planner and matching purse? She’s gonna love you. What are you really worried about? Your parents being here? Our universes colliding?”
“Something like that.” Her mouth twisted. “You know me too well.”
“I do.” The idea made my chest warm as I parked down the street from the house, driveway already full. I liked that I knew what made Kira worried, what made her nervous. And Alice’s party for her graduation from nursing school definitely had her rattled. “And your mom loves Alice. Maybe not me, but she loves Alice. It’ll be fine.”
Kira’s parents were invited to the party because Kira’s mother had helped Alice land her dream job on a surgical floor of a teaching hospital. That, and we kept trying to make an effort to get our families together. I wouldn’t say that Kira’s parents exactly liked me or the idea of us together, but we’d moved beyond outright skepticism and lots of uncomfortable silences to awkward visits and something approaching support, like when they’d sent a birthday card for me last month with a spa gift certificate.
“I just hope they know this is the real deal for me.” Kira twisted her hands over the present.
“We know that, right? That’s all that really matters.”
“It is.” She gave me a tender smile. “Are we going to steal Alice’s thunder if we tell them tonight about us moving in together? I guess that’s what I’m really worried about. Telling them and them reacting badly.”
“Telling our parents together makes sense. But we can wait. Rocket and I can just move in on stealth mode, wait for people to notice that we’re there all the time—”
“You already are.” She laughed. “Yeah, this probably isn’t going to shock anyone. And it just makes sense. This way we can see each other even more with our crazy schedules. And Rocket deserves a stable home.”
That made me chuckle too and reach into the back seat to pat him. “All the going between both apartments has been hard on him, true. But you know this is more than practicality, right? I want to live with you—not because it’s convenient but because I love you.”
“Awww. I love you too.” Her face softened, and she leaned in for a fast kiss. The words were still new to us, issued in fluttery bursts that made my stomach jump every time. “And you’re right. I don’t care what our families think about it being too soon. I want to live together because I want to wake up with you every day. And I need equal access to the yarn stash.”
“Oh, that’s how it is, is it?” I shook my head before stealing another kiss. Because, of course, Kira had taken to knitting like it was an exam she needed to ace, moving quickly beyond the basic hats and scarfs I started her on to working on intricate lace shawls and cabled socks on her commute. She was the toast of my knitting group on the nights her schedule allowed her to be there, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.
“Speaking of, I promised two nurses in our clinic hats for the D.C. protest coming up. Think you can do one, and I’ll do the other?”
“Absolutely. And how about we tell our parents only about the moving in tonight? We can save the fretting about us going to the protest until closer to it.”
“Smart woman. But I am looking forward to the trip. Seeing Simone and her staff again will be great, and I can’t wait to hear her speech to the crowd. Everyone says it’s a lock that she hires you for the re-election campaign. I can’t wait to watch you make history.”
“I can’t wait to make history together,” I countered.
“The couple that resists together, stays together.” She laughed as we finally got out of the car and freed Rocket from the backseat.
“We are definitely staying together.” I could say that with certainty now. We’d made it through a frigid winter, through the first set of holidays, both our birthdays, a Valentine’s dinner that almost wasn’t, any number of little arguments and big discussions, until here we were, giving joint presents and buying moving boxes. “You’re not getting rid of me.”
“Hope not.” She grabbed my free hand, swinging it like we were fifteen again. And in that moment, maybe we were. Here I was, walking into my parents’ house with my dream girl beside me. Except this was better than any fantasy I could have cooked up. My fantasies never featured heated conversations and hard work communicating, but they also never showed how amazing it could be to connect on this deep, uniquely adult level where we put in the effort to make things between us succeed. She was my best friend, the love of my life, and the first, best crush I’d ever had, all rolled into one.
“Kira?” I stopped short of the front door, feet still unsteady in the sandals she’d talked me into on our last shopping trip.
“Yeah?”
“Have I thanked you lately for voting?” I pulled her in for another kiss, not caring who we might shock, simply needing her, needing to show my gratitude to fate for giving us this chance. So many random factors coming together—running late, her breakup, not watching where I was going—all of it that meant here we were, kissing on my parents’ front lawn, wide-open future spread before us.
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~The End~
Dear Reader,
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I so hope you enjoyed Dropped Stitches. This is my first female/female romance, and it’s very close to my heart. In the years since my first LGBTQ romance published, I’ve become more open about being bisexual, and it was a true privilege to get to write Bea and Kira and their journey. With each book, I grow both as a person and as a writer, and I’m so grateful for this chance to explore this pairing. Want more from Bea and Kira? Let me know! Maybe a follow-up can be arranged…
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Enjoy interracial relationships like this one? My Winning Bracket, Served Hot, and Squared Away all feature diverse pairings. Want more bisexual rep? My Resilient Heart, Knit Tight, Wheels Up, Tight Quarters, and Rough Terrain among others feature bisexual and pansexual characters. Want more knitting in your romance? Check out Knit Tight! Like your books longer and your scenes smoking hot? No problem! My #Gaymers, Out of Uniform and Rainbow Cove series all have you covered. Many titles are also available in audio! I hope you’ll give them a try!
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Want more ficlets and updates on favorite characters? Make sure you’re in my Facebook fan group, Annabeth’s Angels for all the latest news, contests, and freebies. I’ll be sharing my tips for doing a scarf like the one Bea is knitting in line in my group! And newsletter subscribers always get the latest news on releases, freebies, and more! Subscribe here.
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Many thanks,
* * *
~Annabeth
Also By Annabeth Albert
Winning Bracket
Resilient Heart
Waiting for Clark
Save the Date (with Wendy Qualls)
Level Up
Better Not Pout (November 2018)
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The Portland Heat Series
Served Hot
Baked Fresh
Delivered Fast
Knit Tight
Wrapped Together
Danced Close
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The Perfect Harmony Series
Treble Maker
Love Me Tenor
All Note Long
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The #Gaymers Series
Status Update
Beta Test
Connection Error
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The Out of Uniform Series
Off Base
At Attention
On Point
Wheels Up
Squared Away
Tight Quarters
Rough Terrain (January 2019)
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The Rainbow Cove Series
Trust with a Chaser
Tender with a Twist
Plus more coming!
About the Author
Annabeth Albert grew up sneaking romance novels under the bed covers. Now, she devours all subgenres of romance out in the open— no flashlights required! When she’s not adding to her keeper shelf, she’s a multi-published Pacific Northwest romance writer.
Emotionally complex, sexy, and funny stories are her favorites both to read and to write. Annabeth loves finding happy endings for a variety of pairings. In between searching out dark heroes to redeem, she works a rewarding day job and wrangles two children.
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Contact & Media Info:
Email | Website | Fan group
Acknowledgments
No writer grows on their own. I’m so grateful for those around me who cheered me on for trying something new with this story. You gave me the courage to spread my wings. A big shout out to the many, many amazing writers doing incredible things with female/female pairings—you inspire me and your stories uplift me. A huge thank you to Edie Danford for her astute editorial assistance, and to Hudson Lin, Talia Hibbert, and Robin Covington for beta reading. Your careful comments helped me to go deeper with Bea and Kira. I’m honored to be included in this volume with so many of my autobuy authors. I’ve loved this series since volume one, and I was thrilled to be chosen for inclusion. Huge thank you to Tamsen Parker, Amy Jo Cousins, and Zoe York for their time and passion for this project. As a brief aside, while I set the story in St. Louis, this is a work of fiction and no resemblance to actual St. Louis politicians, groups, or current political races is implied or intended.
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