“This music reminds me of Thanksgiving,” Clover said, now six years old.
“Really?” I wondered what she meant. “In a good way?”
“Yes. It makes me think of Grandma Natalie. I miss her.”
“What do you miss, honey?” I asked her gently.
“I just see so many pictures of her, but I don’t know her.”
Her eyes searched my face for clues.
“What’s her last name?”
“Wood. Her last name is Wood,” I say.
My grandparents Maria and Nicholas Gurdin with baby Natasha, as my mother was originally known, San Francisco, December 15, 1940.
My grandmother Maria Gurdin.
A young Natalie sitting in her director’s chair on the set of Driftwood, 1947.
Orson Welles with Natalie during the filming of Tomorrow Is Forever, 1946.
Maria, Nick, and baby Lana watching Natalie practice ballet at home, 1948.
Natalie and James Dean in a scene from Rebel Without a Cause, 1955.
Natalie and R.J. on their wedding day at the Scottsdale United Methodist Church, Arizona, December 28, 1957.
Maria and Natalie at home, circa 1955.
Natalie as Maria in West Side Story (1961), about to perform her rooftop ballet.
Robert Redford and Natalie on the set of Inside Daisy Clover, 1965.
Natalie and my father, Richard Gregson, on their wedding day at the Holy Virgin Mary Russian Orthodox Cathedral in Los Angeles, May 30, 1969.
Richard and Natalie, heavily pregnant with me, in Los Angeles, late summer 1970.
Daddy Gregson holding me at our house on North Bentley Avenue, Los Angeles.
Natalie and R.J. on board the Ramblin’ Rose on their second wedding day, July 16, 1972.
Daddy Wagner and me at the house on Canon Drive.
Family portrait, clockwise from top left: Natalie, R.J., me, and my sister Courtney, 1977.
My mother with her signature Elsa Peretti cuff, Hawaii, 1978.
Sean Connery about to take flight with Courtney at the house on Canon Drive, New Year’s Eve, 1977.
Me and my mother in the backyard.
From left, me, Katie, and Courtney in an unfortunate phase of eighties hair and makeup.
Courtney and me playing dress-up, 1981.
Daddy Wagner and Daddy Gregson with me and my niece Emma Webster at my first wedding at the house on Old Oak Road, 2003.
Me with my stepmother Julia (above) and with my sisters Sarah Gregson and Poppy Gregson Wall on a family vacation in the South of France, 2008.
Willie Mae Worthen, aka Kilky, and me at Daddy Wagner’s in Westwood, California.
Happy as can be and very pregnant with Clover at 3 Square in Venice, California, 2012.
My mother aboard the Splendour, looking radiant, circa 1971.
Clover and me in Malibu, 2012.
Acknowledgments
Thank you to my alphabet soup of a family.
My sisters, Sarah and Charlotte Gregson, Katie Wagner, Courtney Wagner, and Poppy Wall. My fearless protectors, thank you for your support while I wrote this book and for always picking up the phone when I needed to go over “one more detail…”
For your friendship and love: Leif Lewis and Riley Wagner Lewis; Jake Gregson and Emma Webster; Joshua Donen and Nikki Donen; Aunt Mary Scott and Lesley Scott Carr.
My two belle-mères, Julia Gregson and Jill Wagner, both of whom read early drafts and offered guidance and remembrances. I am grateful for your love.
My sister-in-law, Christi Watson. My sweet boys Oliver and Felix Watson. My mother-in-law, Karen Watson.
Unending love and thank-yous to my Daddy Gregson and my Daddy Wagner. I lost Daddy Gregson in the course of writing this book; however, Julia was able to read an early draft of the book to him and he liked what he heard.
I would also like to thank Bernie, Dimitri, and Cara Viripaeff for graciously sharing their memories of my grandmother Baba and my aunt Olga.
Susan Crespo and Blanca Caceres.
Friends who are family: Mart Crowley, Peggy Griffen, Stephana Stander Kamer, Delphine Mann, Alan Nierob, Liz Applegate.
To the dear ones we’ve lost: Hugo Gregson, Peter Donen, Howard Jeffrey, Ruth Gordon, Norma Crane, George Kirvay, Roddy McDowell, and Willie Mae Worthen (aka Kilky).
My constellation of girlfriends. You are my sisters, my mothers, my confidantes, and I cherish you: Amanda Anka, Nancy Banks, Leah Bernthal, Nevena Borrisova, Stephanie Danan, Dana Delany, Naomi Despres, Heather Heraeus, Tory Johnson, Jessica Kruse, Alexia Landeau, Jane Mass, Michelle McGrath, Maya McLaughlin, Yifat Oren, Jennifer Parsons, Whitney Rosenson, Eve Somer, Molly Stern Schlussel, Lena Wald, Maggie Ward, and Susan Woods.
Lea Journo: thank you, cupid.
Jesse Peretz for taking the time to find “the photo!”
Russell Francis and Elisabeth Wegman for keeping four eyes out for me.
Merritt Loughran, Robin LeMesurier, Michael Cutler, Marc Rona, PDR fulfillment house, and everyone at Natalie Fragrance.
To my teachers and guides: The Sunshine School, Curtis School, Hedgerow School, Crossroads School for the Arts & Sciences, Larry Moss, Tanda Tashjian, Laurie Turner, Mitra Rahbar, Naomi Malin, Mason Sommers, Rami Aizic, Gayle Spitz, Chad Hamrim. Thank you for lighting the way.
Janis Hansen and Tracey Mikolas. Your home was my home. Thank you for holding me close on that awful Sunday and in all the days that followed.
To Sloan DeForest, thank you for your insight and early research.
Thank you to Manoah Bowman for your devotion to my mother and your guidance in rediscovering her. For your stunning archives and your time and generosity in letting me access them.
And to Matt Tunia for transcribing those dusty Super 8s and 16 mms into a veritable wonderland of memories.
To Ali MacGraw, my friend. I love you.
And to Josh Evans for teaching me so much when I was sometimes too young to understand.
To Jeff Briggs for being wise, calm, steady.
To Oscar, Manny, FouFou, Buster, John Wayne, and Willy.
And gratitude to Alexander Friedman for translating my mother’s baby book into English.
To Laurent Bouzereau and Markus Keith for the journey of our documentary, Natalie Wood: What Remains Behind, and the friendship we made along the way.
To Hope Edelman and Motherless Daughters for naming the thing that I am.
To Pema Chodron, who taught me how to make friends with my suffering.
To Andy Young, excavator extraordinaire.
Lynn Nesbit, extraordinary agent. Grand person. Thank you for your steely guidance and brilliant clarity.
Eve Claxton. Queen of the written word. My friend. Thank you for your invaluable help shaping this story.
Valerie Steiker, my editor, for your tenacity, sensitivity, and insight.
Nan Graham, publisher extraordinaire, and the entire team at Scribner: Colin Harrison, Roz Lippel, Brian Belfiglio, Kate Lloyd, Ashley Gilliam, Sally Howe, Jaya Miceli, Kristen Haff, Erich Hobbing, Kathleen Rizzo, and Stephanie Evans.
Clover, my dearest darling, I love you beyond the beyond.
To Barry, thank you for showing me the good, golden love. Without it this book could not have been written.
Thank you to my mama. Your love made me and saved me.
More in Personal Memoirs
The Glass Castle
Shoe Dog
The Girl with the Lower Back Tattoo
Year of Yes
An Invisible Thread
Primates of Park Avenue
About the Author
© BRIGITTE JOUXTEL
Natasha Gregson Wagner has acted in such films as Another Day in Paradise, High Fidelity, Two Girls and a Guy, and David Lynch’s Lost Highway, and in the television shows Ally McBeal, House M.D., and Chicago Hope. In 2016, she coauthored a coffee-table book titled Natalie Wood: Reflections on a Legendary Life. She is one of the producers of the HBO documentary about her mother’s life: Natalie Woo
d: What Remains Behind. Wagner lives in Los Angeles with her family.
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Photograph Credits
Interior
Pages 13, 27, 47, 67, 95, 105, 117, 131, 143, 157, 171, 223, 235, 257: Wood-Wagner Private Collection
Page 79: Photo courtesy of Michael Childers
Page 183: October Films, 1997. Courtesy of MPTV
Page 197: Strand releasing, 1998. Photo courtesy of Jesse Peretz
Page 211: Photo by Lara Porzak. Wood-Wagner Private Collection
Page 245: Photo by John Engstead. Courtesy of MPTV
Page 267: Photo by David Schlussel. Wood-Wagner Private Collection
Insert
Page 1: top, Wood-Wagner Private Collection; bottom, courtesy of MPTV
Page 2: top left and bottom, courtesy of MPTV; top right, Wood-Wagner Private Collection
Page 3: top left and right, Wood-Wagner Private Collection; middle and bottom, courtesy of MPTV
Page 4: Wood-Wagner Private Collection
Page 5: Wood-Wagner Private Collection
Page 6: Wood-Wagner Private Collection
Page 7: Wood-Wagner Private Collection, except bottom right, photograph by Jane Mass
Page 8: top, Wood-Wagner Private Collection; bottom, photograph by Clover’s father and my husband, Barry Watson
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Copyright © 2020 by Natasha Gregson Wagner
Certain names and other details have been changed. Events portrayed have been reconstructed based on diaries, interviews, personal papers, and memories.
All rights reserved, including the right to reproduce this book or portions thereof in any form whatsoever. For information, address Scribner Subsidiary Rights Department, 1230 Avenue of the Americas, New York, NY 10020.
First Scribner hardcover edition May 2020
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Jacket design by Kristen Haff
Front jacket photograph courtesy of Robert Wagner
Back cover images: Top Left and Right: Michael Ochs Archives / Handout / Getty Images; Bottom Left: Silver Screen Collection / Contributor / Getty Images; Bottom Right: Sunset Boulevard / Contributor / Getty Images
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data has been applied for.
ISBN 978-1-9821-1118-2
ISBN 978-1-9821-1120-5 (ebook)
Table of Contents
Title Page
Dedication
Epigraph
Prologue
Part 1: With
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Part 2: Without
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Part 3: Within
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Epilogue
Photographs
Acknowledgments
About the Author
Photograph Credits
Copyright
More Than Love: An Intimate Portrait of My Mother, Natalie Wood Page 28