by DiAnn Mills
CHAPTER 12
The Hummer’s headlights shone a pinpoint of light from far off and inched closer through the slow shadows of night. At first Paul thought he was seeing a mirage, but the sound of the approaching vehicle was no delusion. He raced to Chuck’s tent and summoned him before hurrying to meet his wife.
As the vehicle drew closer, he stood in its path and pointed to the clinic, where Chuck awaited them.
He’d seen plenty of blood in his day, but not his wife’s. When Okuk opened the Hummer’s rear door, Paul sickened. All of this could have been prevented if he’d told Larson the reasons why he’d wanted her to stay behind in Warkou.
“I’m all right.” Larson’s words slurred. “I’m fine. Oh, I’m so sorry, Paul, to cause this much trouble.”
He scooped her up into his arms and cautiously lifted her from the seat into the evening air, thankful that the sweltering heat had cooled. His lips brushed across hers. “Hush. I won’t hear any of that nonsense. This whole thing is my fault. Chuck is right here, and he’ll fix you up just fine.”
She laid her head against his chest, and he swallowed a lump the size of Sudan. He felt certain that her emotions, along with her body, had taken a beating in the last twenty-four hours.
Inside the tent, a diesel-fueled generator powered light for Chuck to treat her bloody shoulder.
“Paul says you haven’t been feeling well.” Chuck unwound the bloody gauze wrapped around the top of her arm.
“Nothing important.”
“Why don’t you let me be the judge of that? He says you’ve been tired and vomiting.”
Paul studied her pale face. She glanced up at him. She’s afraid. Had he done something to lose her trust? Or had she contracted a disease? “Talk to him, habibti.” He held her other hand and kissed it.
“I . . . I know what’s wrong with me.”
“Tell me so I have an idea what I’m dealing with here.” Chuck pulled out a sterile needle for an IV.
“I’m pregnant.” She turned her attention to her upper arm, then back to Paul.
“Congratulations,” Chuck said. “Any spotting or complications?”
“No.” She continued to stare into Paul’s face. “Only the typical morning sickness.”
Paul gave her a smile, one he truly felt. Contrary to what he’d always expected, the prospect of being a father brought a surge of pride and excitement. In the next breath, fear for Larson and his child alerted him to what must be done. But he refused to show his trepidation. “Why didn’t you tell me? We could have celebrated.”
“I was afraid you’d send me to Nairobi or the States. I couldn’t bear leaving you or Sudan.”
“I love you, and I’m happy about our baby. We’ll talk through all of this when you’re feeling better.”
“Are you, Paul? You’re not angry with me?” She attempted a light laugh. “How many women do you think get pregnant on the pill in the heart of Sudan?”
“Just my wife.” He bent and kissed her. “Now let Chuck patch up that arm.”
An hour later, while Larson slept, Paul stepped out into the night with Okuk. “I can’t thank you enough for what you’ve done for Larson and me. I don’t want to think of what might have happened.”
“Neither do I,” Okuk said. “If it hadn’t been for her good aim and that truck of yours, we wouldn’t have made it. The soldiers who came were a help too.”
Paul nodded. “I agree.” The weight of fatherhood hit him again. “I’m going to be a father.”
Okuk laughed. “Are you trying to convince yourself or me?”
“I’m not sure.” He laughed. “I never thought I wanted children with my family after my hide, but I feel good. It’s going to take some time to get used to the idea. I feel so stupid that I didn’t put it all together.”
“Enjoy the moment. I remember . . .” Okuk took a breath. “I remember my children.”
“Are they gone?”
“Yes. About five years ago.”
Paul stared into the man’s face. Although darkness separated them, he prayed Okuk heard compassion in his voice. “I’m sorry.”
“Thank you.”
“So many innocent lives have been lost in all of this turmoil. I’m worried about the danger for Larson. But Warkou has been fairly safe recently with soldiers nearby. I must believe God will guard and protect her.”
Commander Okuk coughed.
“I’ll be forever indebted to you, Commander,” Paul said. “If not for your bravery and quick thinking . . . Well, I don’t want to discuss that possibility. Do not ever hesitate to ask anything of me.” He reached out to shake the man’s only hand.
Okuk grasped Paul’s hand. “Your wife has kept many of us alive. And you have brought food and supplies to our people. It was an honor.”
“Thank you.” Paul yawned. “Guess we could use some sleep. I’m staying right by Larson’s side in case she needs something.”
“One of us should call Colonel Alier.”
“I will.” He needs to hear about the pregnancy from me. “In fact, I’ll call now. Good night, Commander.”
Paul headed back to the clinic. He thought he heard Okuk mumble something, but he was too tired to inquire what.
* * *
Ben had dozed only sporadically since returning to his battalion. Between the pain and his concern for Larson, every nerve seemed fixed on hearing his phone. If she needed additional care, Paul wouldn’t hesitate to fly her to Nairobi. Maybe he should do that anyway.
Why didn’t Paul or Okuk call? Ben drifted off into a light sleep . . . dreaming of Larson . . . despising himself for still loving her . . . and dreading what lay ahead.
He was startled at the sound of his phone and reached for it.
“She’s going to be all right,” Paul said. “The doctor here said the wound would heal just fine.”
“That’s good to hear.” Ben dared not give away his heart. “Don’t you think you should take her to the hospital in Nairobi?”
“I’m waiting to make that call in the morning. The doctor here didn’t think it was necessary, but things could change.”
“A little communication between you two might help.”
“I agree. It started tonight when she told me something. I’m going to be a father.”
The news scraped across Ben’s heart. “How do you feel about that?”
“Very good. Not sure how we’ll make the transition and what we need to do in preparation for a baby, but I’m very happy.”
“Congratulations.” Ben needed to say more, but what?
“Thanks. I’m sure you want some sleep, so I’ll call you in the morning and let you know how Larson’s doing.”
After the call disconnected, Ben couldn’t sleep. Larson pregnant with Paul’s baby. The news disturbed him. He should be happy for them. Instead, he felt miserable. Without delay, he had to find David and establish the relationship that should have begun twelve years ago. If he couldn’t be part of Larson’s life, at least he could be part of his son’s.
* * *
Paul took Larson’s hand and brought it to his lips. The sun had risen hours ago, but Chuck had made sure she slept on. Larson opened her eyes, those fathomless sky-blue eyes.
“I’ll make this up to you once we’re home.” He brushed a wayward strand of hair from her face. “No more secrets between us. From now on, we’re open and honest about everything.”
“I hope so. I’ve had a few scares in my day, but this one was a nightmare. Thank God for His deliverance.”
“If you’re feeling better this afternoon, we’ll go home. Do you think we should fly on to Nairobi?”
She shook her head. “Chuck said I didn’t need additional care, and I’ll watch for any signs of infection.”
“All right. Just close your eyes and rest. Oh, Ben said congratulations.”
She smiled. “I wondered how he’d take the news.”
“Like the strong man he is.” Paul kissed her forehead. “Back to sleep
.”
“But I’d like to go home now.”
“I want to make sure you’re okay before we do that.” He squeezed her hand lightly and laid it across her stomach. “When will she move?”
“She?” Larson lifted her chin. “I’m thinking he.”
“No, my sweet princess. It will be a girl with blue eyes and lips the shape of an angel’s kiss.”
“Oh, I could listen to you for hours.” Her gaze met his, and he caught his own reflection. “I didn’t answer your question. Your son will need to be four or five months into development before we can feel him moving.”
Yes, they were a stubborn pair. “‘A Book of Verses underneath the Bough, A Jug of Wine, a Loaf of Bread—and Thou Beside me singing in the Wilderness—Oh, Wilderness were Paradise enow!’”
“Do you have all of The Rubaiyat memorized?”
“Only the portions that remind me of my beautiful wife.”
She closed her eyes. “I’m so very lucky and so very tired.”
“Chuck said the injection would make you sleep. When you wake, I’ll be right here, and we’ll talk about our flight home.”
“I love you.”
He watched her body relax and the lines around her eyes disappear as the medication eased the pain. If his life ended today, he hoped his last image on earth would be of his beloved wife. Not a lovelier, more courageous, more fiercely devoted woman in all the earth. And she was his.
His satellite phone rang, breaking into his thoughts.
“Nizam is ready to meet with you.”
Paul stood and stepped outside the tent. He recognized Muti’s voice. “How did you get this number? And I’ve changed my mind.”
“You no longer want to talk to your brother? He is eager to speak of old times and to learn about Christianity.”
How had he fallen for these lies before? “Why didn’t Nizam call me himself?”
“He is a busy man.”
“And so am I.”
“Oh yes. Sorry to hear about your wife. I’ve been told she will survive.”
A tremor passed through Paul as fury assaulted him like a sandstorm. He prayed for God to take away his murderous thoughts. Did his brother have something to do with the Janjaweed’s interception of Larson and Okuk? “If Nizam were really interested in seeing me as a brother, he would not have sent you with a rifle. Tell him to contact me.” He disconnected the call and slipped the phone back into his pant pocket. A few deep breaths helped calm the torrent of anger racing through his veins.
His family had no intentions of giving up on finding him. He’d disgraced them, and they’d offered $500,000 to whoever killed him. That was not a small sum in Sudan—the reward would catch the eye of any man. He gasped. If his family was watching them closely enough to know about Larson’s injury, they might be planning an attack on Kibum. He needed to get her out of there within the hour.
Paul dared not trust anyone but his wife and Ben—and most of all, God.
* * *
Ben drove his truck toward the village of Yar, where Daruka and David lived. He’d avoided it in the past, sending Okuk and Santino there when he’d suspected information about his whereabouts was being leaked to Khartoum. So far nothing had been confirmed, but his men were watching the villagers from a distance. Ben believed the mole would become bolder if left to carry on without the obvious threat of the SPLA.
His usual confidence eluded him. Must be the medication. He remembered in years gone by how he’d looked for reasons to stop here, much as he once did at Warkou. Now he avoided both villages. Women. He should have stuck to fighting and left them alone. But what mattered at this stage of his fading life was his son. Children were the seeds of hope for Sudan. From them would grow a generation of strong, courageous leaders—people who refused to bow down to the tyranny of militant Islam and all that religion represented.
Ben inwardly chuckled at himself. His impending death had brought a sense of purpose and even nobility to him. All the ideals he had once discarded for the life of a soldier now sped to the top of a self-imposed priority list. Today he began with the most urgent one.
He swung his attention to Okuk. One of the critical issues facing Ben was how Okuk felt about Paul. He’d handle that later. “I’m not sure how long I will be here. Can you wait by the truck while I handle a matter?”
“Yes, sir.” Villagers gathered close to the two men.
“Keep alert, Commander. See to it that no one diverts your attention. When I return, I’ll ask what you’ve seen.” Ben whirled around, despite the torment in his back.
Since the cancer news, Ben had carved out time to mold the commander into a champion, instead of a soldier who let others do his thinking for him. Okuk had to present himself as quick and alert. Perhaps the commander realized the assigned vigil was part of his training. If not, he soon would. The mole was no doubt watching Ben’s and Okuk’s every move.
Making his way past curious adults and gawking children, Ben walked toward the tukul where Daruka had once lived with her parents. She’d been a beautiful girl—high cheekbones, smooth ebony skin, and a wide smile. He assumed she’d married and had borne more children. But dealing with a jealous husband would not deter him when it came to his son.
As though tribal drums had announced Ben’s arrival, Daruka’s father stepped from the tukul. Deep lines aged the face of the once-spry man. Ben hid his surprise. The man wasn’t much older than Ben.
“Colonel Alier, it has been a long time.”
Ben nodded. He knows of my promotions. “Yes, it has. How have the years been to you?” Birds called to each other, as though mocking Ben’s attempt at polite conversation.
“Always full of hope for tomorrow.”
Still a Christian. “Yes, sir. And your wife?”
“She died during the year of the heavy rains that chased us from our homes.”
“I’m sorry. She was a fine woman.”
“I miss her, but she is in a better place. What can I do for you?”
“I’d like to speak with Daruka or speak to her husband to ask his permission.”
The man studied Ben for several moments before responding. “She lives with me as before.”
“Is she married?”
“No.”
Strange, when Daruka possessed such rare loveliness. Perhaps she was a widow. “And her son?”
Again the man studied Ben. “Why?”
“It’s time.”
“She’s inside.” He turned to the hut’s opening. “Daruka, Colonel Alier would like to talk to you.”
Ben’s heart knocked against his chest like that of a new recruit facing a firefight. He must do this.
Daruka stepped into the sunlight, her head held high. He remembered the girl who had cowered in his sight, only wanting to please him. Today her large, dark eyes defied him with a hint of anger . . . and something else. Did he see pity? Her beauty nearly took his breath away. He almost felt like he was being unfaithful to Larson.
“Hello, Daruka.”
She crossed her arms over her chest, but her lips quivered. Good. His presence had affected her.
“Colonel Alier. What do you wish to discuss with me?”
“I’d rather talk in private.”
She moistened her lips. The years had been excellent to her. Why wasn’t she married?
“We could walk to the river.”
The two wound their way through the village. A plethora of memories rushed through his mind, so many that he struggled to push them aside. Had he truly loved her at one time, or had he simply used her?
“How is David?” he said.
“Why should you ask after all these years?”
A child ran up beside him, obviously intrigued with Ben’s camouflage clothing. “Go to your mother,” Ben said, and the child hurried away.
“You frightened him,” she said.
“I intended to.”
“What kind of father would you have been?”
“Does it matte
r?”
“It should. David is twelve years old and taller than I am. He’s a fine boy, strong and smart—all without you.” She glanced away. “His grandfather and his uncle took your place.” Her response did not resemble the compliant girl he’d once known.
“I was told you had done a fine job.”
“Why didn’t you see for yourself instead of asking others?”
His stomach burned. “I was fighting a war to keep you and my son safe.”
“And I wonder why you are here after all this time. You must believe in the peace treaty and have nothing to occupy your days.”
“I’m here to see my son.”
“He believes his father’s dead—a soldier for the SPLA who died a hero’s death.”
“I plan to change that image.”
Daruka stopped in the path and faced him. “If you do this, he will know I lied to him. He will want to know why, and I will tell him the truth.”
“What is your version of the truth?”
“You deserted us. I accepted the fact the only feeling you ever had for me was lust, but to abandon your child was cruel. I’m asking you to leave the village and never return. David doesn’t need you.”
“I want to see my son.”
“The answer is no. He’s better off without you.”
Ben glared at Daruka. He hadn’t expected her to stand up to him. Perhaps display resentment, but not open hostility. “Please.”
She was startled. “Colonel Alier actually says please. I find this hard to believe.”
“I have my reasons.” He thought of touching her but hesitated.
“Don’t try to soften me with your manipulation. My son comes before life. So if I did allow you to see him, would it be twelve years before you showed your face again?”
“I plan to become active in his life. Please think about it.” He found no reason to threaten her. But he’d rather she supported him instead of his searching out the boy among the villagers on his own.
“I will not.” She whirled around, and he grabbed her arm.
“I have a right to know my son.”
“You had a right twelve years ago but not today.” She peeled his fingers off her arm. “Take your charms and your claims to my son somewhere else.”