by Karen Klyne
When she got back to the house, she went up to her office, turned the PC on, and brought up her list of houses and renters. Yes, just as Laurel said, the “big house” was occupied by the Little Tots Nursery School. Christ. It was bringing in a substantial sum too. Still, she had a few months to think about it. She wasn’t sure why, but the house preyed on her mind throughout the day. Perhaps it was a good time to put something back into the community? She couldn’t think what, though. Could she afford to lose that income? Given Alex’s strict accounting practices, she had a good idea where things stood, and she had a feeling the loss of income wouldn’t hurt. Laurel worked in the community. Who better to ask? She’d do that over coffee some time. She’d had enough wine to bathe in last night and couldn’t contemplate another session. Maybe she could assuage some of the guilt she felt by giving something back.
***
The following week, Dez phoned to say the renovations on her latest house were almost complete. She said she’d meet him later and give it the once over.
When she got there, she couldn’t believe her eyes. It was transformed. Anyone could move in tomorrow. She took the tour of the house and was particularly impressed with the loft conversion. “You’ve done a great job, boys.”
They looked at each other and laughed. Yes, she remembered, she was supposed to refer to them as lads. And by all accounts, she used to give them a hard time. She wiped her middle finger over the windowsill and held it up. “Fucking dust. When will you shitheads learn?” She inwardly cringed. That sort of language was so alien, and yet it was somewhat freeing too.
They moaned good naturedly and followed her downstairs. “Sorry, boss.” Dez playfully slapped Al across the head. “Can’t trust anyone. Anyway, what now?”
Gemma looked down at the bare floorboards, trying to work out what the logical thing would be to do next. “Carpets or tiles?”
Dez shrugged. “Have you decided if you’re selling or renting?”
She hadn’t got a clue. If she sold, she’d either have to buy another one or invest the money. Investments weren’t bringing in decent interest rates. Also, she was only thirty-one years old. What she really needed was to continue bringing in a good income and plough it into her pension. She knew she had one. “Renting.”
“Mid-range vinyl downstairs and carpet the rest, as usual?”
Having a track record of things to follow made this a lot easier. “Sounds good. Will it be finished by the end of the week?”
Dez jumped backwards. “You’re joking. Aren’t you?”
Gemma walked toward the door, inwardly cursing the slip. There was still a lot to learn. “Let me know when you’re done. And don’t drag the bloody thing on. I may not be here on the job, but I am watching you.”
Dez saluted. “On it.”
She’d made a decision. Eventually, when there was enough income coming in to keep her happy, she’d like to retire from this property business. After all, she could always pick it up and go back to it. Maybe she’d like to do something more worthwhile, though she hadn’t got a clue what that might be. She didn’t know if she had an accountant, a financial adviser, or a bank manager, but she did know she had a solicitor. She needed someone to do some sums for her. She was sure the old Alex would have that in place. Unlike her, she was organised. There wasn’t a lot to worry about. Everything would be on her PC or filed away somewhere. The witch said there was no going back, not that she couldn’t change anything in the new life. For the first time, she could think about what she wanted to do, and who she wanted to be. It was both daunting and exciting.
Chapter Fourteen
Reece tensed her neck and gripped the steering wheel as though it might fly off and escape through the window. Everything had gone so well. The beach walk, the afternoon tea, the easy conversation. Until Gemma had asked, “What now?” She’d convinced herself that she was sticking by Gemma for all the right reasons. But now she had to face the outcome, and it wasn’t as easy as she’d thought. Why? She couldn’t put her finger on it. Maybe it was because Gemma seemed vulnerable. She was a victim. She was ill. But there was something else. She was drawn to her in a way she hadn’t been in years. She had to admit that she liked some of the personality changes she’d seen. Now she felt shitty. The whole proposition had sounded so calculated, like an ultimatum: take the money and disappear out of our lives forever or stay. But what other choice did she have? She had to be honest. Poor Gemma looked as if she’d been struck by a bolt of lightning. Still, it had to be done.
When she got back home, her mum was standing over the sink peeling potatoes. She turned around, wiped her hands on the towel, and walked to the fridge.
“I bet you could do with a glass of wine, eh?”
“Please, Mum. Where’s Dad?”
“Playing pirates upstairs.” Her mum poured the wine and handed a glass to Reece. “Sit down, love. Take the weight off your feet…and mind.”
Reece pulled a chair out, and her mum sat down beside her. She didn’t bother with the niceties and took a mouthful of wine. Then she leaned back in her chair.
“Did you tell her, then?”
Reece stared at her mum. “Tell her what?”
Her mum folded her arms across her chest. “That you want a divorce.”
Reece’s nostrils flared, and her frustration rose once again. “No, I didn’t.”
Her dad came into the kitchen. “Didn’t what?”
Reece glanced over her shoulder. “Didn’t tell her I wanted a divorce.”
Her dad rubbed his neck. “I thought that’s what you wanted?”
“Listen, you two. At this precise time, Gemma doesn’t remember anything about her past. I’ve told her exactly what I’ve done as regards the valuation. And I’ve said the money is there if she wants to begin a new life.”
Her dad laughed. “I bet she snapped your hand off.”
Her mum raised her eyebrows and tutted. “There’s obviously an or?”
“Yes. She can come back and see how things go.”
Her mum shook her head. “Oh, Reece. Can’t you see? She’s twisting you around her little finger again.”
Reece stood, tired of having to defend trying to save her marriage. “I’m not throwing her out of her own home. If she does come back, I hope you can accept it. I want us all to work together, but if you feel you can’t…then I’m really sorry. And I know it might be hard to accept, but there’s really something different about her. Something has changed, even if I can’t really understand what it is.” She didn’t wait for their reply. She strolled out of the kitchen and up the stairs. They were treating her like some little kid. Well, she wasn’t, and the choice was between she and Gemma and no one else.
She knew they didn’t like Gemma, and she dared say they felt hard done by. After all, they’d taken the brunt of things and stepped in at the helm. She didn’t know what she’d have done without them and thought she’d made that plain. But, if they didn’t want to give Gemma a last chance, then she’d hire a nanny for a while to help out. She’d give it a month. That should be long enough. Though she hoped her parents would see things from her perspective.
Of course, she’d never have suggested Gemma come home if it wasn’t for her illness. Although these new feelings she had for her certainly tipped the scales. She dared say, as soon as Gemma started to regain her memory and went back to her old behaviour, she’d have second thoughts. That was fine. Okay, so it might upset the children again, but at least she could say she’d tried. Decision made.
***
It was officially autumn. Reece hadn’t got a clue what the future held but as far as she was concerned, she’d carry on with her usual nightly visits. They’d taken to sitting at a small table by the window that overlooked the gardens. It was peaceful and nobody bothered them.
“Everything okay at home?” Gemma asked.
“Yes, everything’s fine.”
There was a long silence.
“I’ve been––”
> “Have you––” They both spoke at the same time. Reece laughed. “You go first.”
Gemma pursed her lips. “I’ve been thinking about what you said.”
Reece held her breath. She wanted Gemma to say she’d come home, but she was also scared of the consequences. “And?”
Gemma coughed. “I’d like to come home. I’d like to give it a try. But only on the condition that if you’re miserable with me there, if I make you unhappy, then we make changes. I don’t want to hurt you or the children.”
It was like a wall came crumbling down, and Reece could breathe again. Granted, it might not work, but at least it was a step forward, and Gemma’s concern about upsetting her or the children made it even better. Relief and wariness warred for her attention.
“You haven’t said anything. Have you changed your mind?”
Reece grinned. “No. I’m delighted, believe me.”
Gemma pulled at her earlobe. “I doubt if Bollard will let me go.”
Reece jolted upright. “Of course he will. I’ll talk to him tomorrow. By the end of next week, you’ll be back home.”
“Wow. Are you serious?”
Reece could feel the warmth radiating through her body. “Deadly serious.”
She left Gemma in high spirits. Tomorrow she’d see the doctor. Gemma was ready, and so was she. She’d had enough of this visiting lark. It was time to move on with their lives, and time to see what the future held.
***
It hadn’t taken much persuading. Dr Bollard agreed that the timing was right. He thought Gemma was acknowledging her old life. She hadn’t spoken about her other life for quite a while, and he thought the odds of her gaining her memory back was probable.
It was an emotional few days. She’d prepared the children. They agreed to give their mummy all the support she needed. Perhaps by doing so it would bring them closer together. It had been a gradual process with the aid of her parents. No, they’d never be happy with this scenario, but they seemed to accept that their daughter was giving Gemma one more chance. She guessed they were praying for failure. She wasn’t.
For a few nights prior to Gemma leaving, Reece had taken in a suitcase and taken most of her clothes back home. By Thursday everything had gone apart from a set of clothes for the morning and a few toiletries. Reece tapped the table several times, satisfied that all was going according to her moving plan. “That’s it then.”
Gemma fell back onto her bed. She covered her face with her hands and began to sob.
Reece sat at the side of her and put an arm around her shoulder. She was just about to say darling but managed to stop herself. She hadn’t called her that for at least four years. “Gemma, what on earth’s wrong?”
Gemma couldn’t speak through the tears that cascaded down her cheeks. She wiped the tears away with the back of her hand. She sniffed. “You don’t understand.” She stared around her room and waved her hand around. “I’ve been here for so long. This is all I know. It’s my home.”
Reece winced. She’d been so insensitive. All she’d been thinking about were the children and herself, and how things were going to pan out at home. She’d not considered Gemma’s plight and the difficulty she might have in adjusting to life on the outside. Of course, she’d have fears, given that she couldn’t remember her life before this place. She took Gemma in her arms, held her close, and rubbed her back. “It’s all right, Gemma. You’ll be safe with me. I’ll take care of you.” It was a stupid thing to say, because she hadn’t taken care of her in the past, otherwise she wouldn’t be in this place. She found some tissues in her pocket and handed them to Gemma. She mopped up the tears, blew her nose, and eventually she calmed.
She wanted to stay longer, but she could hear the visitors leaving. She stood and kissed Gemma on the forehead. “I’ll collect you tomorrow, first thing. Everything will be fine. Trust me.”
Gemma nodded and gave a half smile.
Reece opened the door, then turned around and blew her a kiss. She walked down the corridor and laughed to herself. If her mum could see her, she’d say, “There. You see. She’s casting a spell on you.” If Gemma did hold magical powers, she wouldn’t complain if they brought some happiness. She’d had far too many years of melancholy.
***
Alex closed her eyes. So much had happened in such a short time. She couldn’t believe she’d be leaving this place tomorrow. It had been her prison but also her sanctuary. Of course, she had trepidations, but she couldn’t stay here for the rest of her life. Only positive could come from this, one way or another. It felt disingenuous, to go home with Reece when Reece was expecting her wife, not a stranger, but there didn’t seem to be a way around that, at least not yet.
Right now, she wanted to find Faz to say good-bye. The word sounded so final. No, it was the beginning, and she hoped that soon Faz would be doing the same.
She found her in their usual spot. Faz jumped up and threw her arms around Alex. She had a plastered smile on her face that looked forced.
“Are you ready?”
Alex sighed. “As ready as I’ll ever be. To be honest, I’m scared shitless.”
“That’s only natural. Come and sit down, I have a surprise for you.”
Alex sat, and Faz pushed a plastic cup over to her. She peered into the cup. “What’s this?”
Faz put her finger over her lip. “Shush. I wish it were champagne, but I’m afraid it is only cider.”
“Hey, that’s fantastic. Where did you get it?”
“Someone I know sneaked it in.” She raised the cup and squashed it against Alex’s. “To your future.”
“No, to our future. I’m sure everything will go well for you. If it doesn’t, we’ll hire a damned good lawyer.”
“Thanks. I’m feeling optimistic.”
They both drank. “I promise, when you get out of here, we’ll be drinking champagne.”
“That’s a deal.”
Alex’s hands trembled. “Faz, I’m so scared.”
“Of course you are. Remember, if things get too tough, the tough can pack their bags and leave.”
Alex laughed. “I guess you’re right.”
“I am.” Faz leaned back in her chair. “You will visit me when you’ve settled in, won’t you? The sooner the better. I have a feeling they are processing my case quickly.”
Alex jolted. “Really? That’s wonderful, isn’t it?”
“Yes, it is all positive. They say I have a good chance of remaining in the country.”
“I promise I’ll come.” She took Faz’s hand. “I wouldn’t have got through this if it weren’t for you.”
“I think you would have, but I will take the credit if it makes you happy.”
“It does.”
They finished their drink and Faz stood. “I do not want to prolong this any further.”
Alex stood and put her arms around Faz. They held onto each other as if their lives depended on the hug. They both cried but tried their damnedest not to let on. Alex smiled. “I’ll see you tomorrow at breakfast?”
“No. This is it…until you become my visitor.”
“I won’t be just a visitor. I’m your blood sister, and don’t forget it.”
“How could I? Your Caucasian blood is running through my veins.” Faz pushed her away. “Talking of running, I am going now.” She turned and walked away. Her walking turned into a run as she pushed through the double doors.
Alex sat down and took lots of deep breaths. Eventually, she went to say good-bye to few of the nurses and a couple of patients she’d briefly shared some conversations with. Then she went to her room. She didn’t have the best night’s sleep, but in the morning, she felt quite refreshed and ready to start her new life.
After breakfast, she packed her few things in the bag Reece had left and closed the door to her room. She refused to look back, because now the only way was forward. She sat in the lounge and waited.
Reece arrived just after ten. She was all smiles though she�
�d hazard a guess that she was as terrified as she was.
“Ready?”
Alex nodded and gave a laugh. “As ready as I’ll ever be.”
Reece looked around. “Aren’t you going to say good-bye to your friend?”
She blinked back the tears she felt well up. “We said our good-byes last night. Anyway, I’ll see her soon. It’ll be strange, you know, visiting.”
“Of course it will be. I’ll come with you if you like.”
“Thanks.”
Reece touched her arm. “Come on, then.”
When they got to reception, Reece had to sign a few forms and then it was done.
They got into the car and set off. She wiped her hands on her jeans. Her leg began to bounce. She steadied it and held it still with her hands.
Reece turned her head and laughed. “Don’t worry, you’re not on your own. Can’t you feel the car jerking back and forth?”
Alex laughed. It made her feel better. “Are the children at school?”
“Yes. I thought it was better to carry on as normal.” She briefly looked out of the window. “Mum and Dad will be at home. They want to say hi.”
“Of course.” Somehow, she didn’t think she’d be getting hugs and well wishes. They’d been doing her job all this time, and by the sound of things they’d be reluctant to hand it over.
Reece pulled up in the drive. “Here we are then.”
Alex would have preferred to get into the boot of the car and curl up into a ball, but it was time to face the music. She got out, pulled her shoulders back, and followed Reece to the front door.
Reece opened it. “Hi, we’re back.”
She walked into the kitchen, and Alex followed. It was strange being back in this kitchen. The house that was hers, but not hers, at the address she lived at, but didn’t. The memory overlap began, but she managed to breathe deeply and make it stop. One step at a time.
Reece’s parents stood behind the kitchen table with their hands placed firmly on the back of the chairs. Alex walked confidently toward them and caught them unawares. “Hi, Val.” Alex kissed her on the cheek, then she moved to her husband. “Hi, Keith.” She did the same peck on the cheek.