by A. R. Case
Silence, then the light of the screen went dark. That was weird. I double-checked to make certain it wasn’t something I’d done.
Unsatisfied, I set it down carefully. It lit up again. I wrote down the phone number this time. I cross checked the phone number by reverse look up. It was Eddie’s region.
I took a screenshot of the phone call list, including the last four calls. Then, I sent it to Indy. Is there any way to find out who is making these calls? I typed.
The phone lit up again. I wrote this number down. It was a different one.
Indy’s text came in. Spoof ID. Probably Burner app. Multiple owners.
Wow. He found that out in minutes. I sat down on the stool at my drafting table. A giggle bubbled up inside. Having a criminal boyfriend comes in very handy. How would someone get my phone number?
You sign up for giveaways?
No.
Websites that need phone #?
Probably. I let him know that.
You still having problems with Eddie?
Now that I really didn’t want to tell Indy. Letting the attorney know was bad enough. But if I lied, he’d know. Heck, he probably already knew because I hadn’t texted back immediately.
Sure enough, the phone lit up with Indy’s number.
“I’m sure it’s nothing.” I answered.
“Baby. And hello to you, too.”
“Sorry, Indy, hi.”
“What did he do now?”
“If I tell you, it won’t change it.”
“Anything can be changed, with the right incentive.”
“Indy!”
“Kidding, babe. ‘Just need to know what to tell the lawyer.”
“I already talked to him. Well, left a message.”
“Wait, it’s bad enough to need a lawyer?”
“He threatened to take me to court to get half of my business.”
“How the fuck can he do that?”
“I started it before the divorce was finalized.”
“So?”
“So, he says he is going to sue because his name is on it.”
“You lost me there.”
“I never changed my name back in the divorce.”
“Yeah, I figured that. Which means it is your name, not his. No case, babe.”
“But if I didn’t declare it …”
“You make much money before the ink dried?”
“Ink dried?”
“On the divorce papers. Did you make money before they finalized?”
“Not much.”
“Was it under six hundred? I think that’s the threshold for hobbyists, which he can’t touch. Once those papers are done, it doesn’t make a difference what you make after. Just during. Walt’s got this ex who tried to get his parts warehouse. Since he had it in an LLC under the club, not his name, she couldn’t do jack shit. But she was a bitch about it for a long time. He paid on what he reported as income. That’s it.”
“Oh.”
“He do that shit while you were married? Yank your chain like that?”
I was embarrassed to admit it.
“He did, didn’t he.” There was a muffled “mother-fucker” in the background. “Can you change your number?”
“I’ve blocked him. That should be enough.”
“Sweetheart. He’s that kind of crazy. Change your number. Make sure it is from a new exchange so you’re not getting someone else’s crazy ex, and when you give the number to your Mom. Let her know that you are getting prank calls from Eddie.”
“I don’t know it is Eddie.”
“Lady, no one in the world is mad at you, except that numbnuts. If it isn’t him, I’ll eat my patch. Well, maybe not my patch, but maybe my old glove or something like that.”
“Silly man.”
“Ah, but you love me anyways, right?”
“I do.”
“Good. Someone’s gotta put in a few points for me on the other side so the Devil doesn’t think I’m competition.”
“I’m sure he already has you in his radar sights.”
“Don’t say that, baby. You’ll jinx me.”
“Maybe he’ll let you live forever so he doesn’t have to deal with it.” We were being silly now. I liked this. He seemed to enjoy it too.
“Immortality is overrated. Ask Dracula.”
“You did not just say that.” My sides hurt from holding the giggles in.
“You know it is free to change your name up to three time, right?”
I didn’t. Why don’t they teach you these things in school?
Later, I ran into town. After stopping at my post office box, I went past the courthouse. It was closed. Maybe someday I’d get into town before normal people roll up the sidewalks. While I was in the area, I drove by Mary’s. Her car was there. It was a cute little black sports car. I circled the subdivision loop once to see if there was a motorcycle nearby. If there was, Walt would be there, and I wouldn’t want to interrupt them.
This day the rows of townhouses were safe from Walt’s presence. Her townhouse was a clone of the one four units down. The two flanking hers had copies down the line. Each one alternated position, like staggered Jenga blocks. Some were white, others golden tan, and some were a cheery Wedgewood blue. Mary’s was white with a red door. She didn’t have a front porch, instead opting for the larger deck in back. Sometimes I wondered how she lived in such a normal house.
“Edie!”
“Hi, I was in the area. Is it okay if I stop for a bit?”
“You know you can stop by any time. I’m glad you didn’t call this time. You’re learning.” She laughed and let me in. On the inside, her house was a mix of white carpet, glass and black lacquer. She accented every room with green plants and colorful floral patterns or paintings. There was even the one I gave her for her last birthday. I’d seen the way she decorated, and created a painting of magnolias, but added a bright pink and purple winged fairy half hidden by the petals. She loved it so much, it got center placement over the fireplace.
“Want a beer or wine?”
“Just water, I’ve got to get home eventually.”
“Your loss.” She poured herself a large glass of red, and fixed a tall glass for me with a lemon wedge. Even at home, or I should say, especially at home, Mary liked a finer lifestyle.
“Do you have to …” I was going to say “work” and stopped myself just in time. “... go anywhere later?”
Somehow, she managed to plop down on her couch without spilling any wine. “Walt is off in PA somewhere, and you know I haven’t worked since the …” she made a stabbing motion toward her chest.
“How is it healing?”
There was a frown she couldn’t stop. “Everything is closed up. Red as hell, and going to scar something fierce.” She leaned forward and took a long sip before setting down her glass. “How long before yours stopped being red? I’m sick of wearing long sleeves.”
“I don’t remember.” I really didn’t. “It was red for at least two years. Hurt at odd times for longer than that. You’d think that would be the first thing to get better, but you move wrong or get upset and it just comes back.”
“Wait, your shoulder still hurts?”
Every night at three a.m. I should probably see a psychiatrist about that, because there’s no way it actually hurts on such a regular basis. “The first few years were bad. I lost use of that arm for a bit. They wanted to start me on a P.E.N.S. That’s pulsed radio waves treatment, to break up some of the scars. They use Botox too.”
“Botox …” Mary was nodding her head. “Like the stuff for forehead wrinkles, right?”
“Yep.”
She took another sip of wine. “I could do that.” Then she looked at me. “I mean eventually I am going to get it for my face, so I’ll just start a bit early puttying in the cracks, right?”
Her laugh wasn’t very long. I jumped in to fill the silence. “There’s compression therapy too. I had a sleeve for a while. It didn’t seem to do much good th
ough.” I took a deep breath. “Other subject. Please?”
Her sharp look wasn’t lost on me. “It still bothers you.”
“Just the parts I lost. The skin, scars, are nothing.”
“I wish …” she stopped herself. “I wish you still had your kid. You’re right, scars are nothing.” She raised her glass. I raised mine in solidarity.
We toasted to the fuckery of life and the masterful power of womanhood which can overcome any pain. “Fuck ‘em.” Mary added, before drinking the remaining half or her glass.
“Fuck ‘em.” I echoed, and took a good drink to solidify the toast.
“What brings you to my door?”
“Oh, I had to get away for a bit. My phone has been getting calls all day.”
“Your contract?”
I shook my head. “No. I think it is my ex. He was in Vegas, and saw me with Indy.”
“Let me guess, polo shirt wearer?”
“Yeah.”
“Little penis, big bank account? Even bigger credit debt?”
“Mary!”
“Come on, spill. Compared to Indy, he’s got to be tiny.”
I zippered up my lips on that one. Then broke the seal. “How do you know how big Indy is?”
“He walked out of the shower naked in front of me. Like a nasty older brother.” She was still laughing as she grabbed the bottle from the fridge. “You sure you don’t want some of this? I feel like a lush.”
“You drink often?”
“Do fish walk?”
Uh …
“Kidding. I drink when I’m out with the crew. But lately, well, it’s been less with them. So, I have a glass or five at home. Then I go on job interviews the next day, and get hired on the spot.”
“What? Where?”
“Law office downtown. Six partners. They needed an admin.” She gave a double thumbs up. “The pay sucks, but it is enough to pay the bills. Thank God I paid down my mortgage in the last two years, I don’t have as much debt.”
“That’s great! I guess. Sucks about the pay though.”
She shrugged. “I can’t pull six figures anymore. But this one has a retirement plan. Gotta bite the normie bullet I guess.”
I shuddered. If I had to work a nine to five job, I’d go fully insane. Maybe I was already insane, which meant that my artwork was just a coping mechanism to make me functional.
“Lost you, huh? Eddie bothering you that bad?”
“Oh, uh no, I think.” I was still trying to catch up.
“Maybe you need to get a gun. Walt’s getting me another one.”
“You own a gun?”
“Fat lot of good it did me, huh? This one I’m getting is smaller, and I’m getting my concealed carry so it won’t be stuck in a fucking box when I need it.”
She rambled for a minute about the features of her new gun on order.
“How long does it take?”
“Depends. First there’s fingerprint and background check. Then for newbies, firearm training. Had that. But I needed more for the wear and carry.”
“So, it’s hard.”
“Pffttt. Not hard at all, unless you’re an idiot. I’ll take you with me. What are you doing Friday? I’ve a class and you can apply right there at the shop.”
A gun. “I think I need to think about this.”
“If I were you, I’d get one. You’re alone a lot. Besides, it will keep away the critters you get up in that cabin of yours.”
“I like the critters at the cabin.”
“Okay Snow White.” She laughed, which cued me in that she was just teasing me. I laughed too.
Mary sobered up. “It’s the people critters who are the shits.”
I lifted my glass to that one.
Indy
I made it up to TomTom and Vega. In the meantime, I also made nice with the Henderson chapter so TomTom wasn’t in their sights. With me front and center, they let him deal with Vega. She did go on an audition, but it wasn’t right for her. On that, I agreed.
And I tried a lot harder to teach TomTom everything I knew about managing a dancer’s career. It was something I’d stumbled into because I’m one of those really fucked up souls who can’t leave a problem be. It would churn in my gut until it was fixed. That’s what kept me sane, and moving, and not thinking about the weight on my chest. Legal money was flowing in.
It kept me busy.
So busy I began to forget about riding east. At least until I’d get a call. Sometimes it was the middle of the day, other times, it was three a.m. There were a lot of those. I took every single one.
Tonight’s was late. I’d just checked the clock. Three-fifteen Maryland time. I fluffed the pillow, and tucked in to get some sleep. The house was quiet. TomTom was out of the house, backstage somewhere, waiting for Vega’s show to wrap up for the evening. There was a night bird in the backyard making odd peaceful noises to the dark. My eyes got heavy. The phone lit up. It was a struggle to answer, so it rang at least four times. The Devil whispered in my ear that I could just let it go to voicemail. It would be better for her that way. That part of me that never listens fought back and picked up the phone.
“Baby?” My voice was mostly gravel and not much sound.
“You sound tired. I shouldn’t have called.” Her voice was rough, but different than tired. I could hear the tears in it. She was trying to tough it out, and not let me in. But screw that, I wasn’t going to let her go through this alone. If I could give her that much, it might help make up for at least one of my sins.
“It’s okay, wasn’t asleep yet.” I’m pretty certain that wasn’t a lie.
“You sure it’s okay?”
“Positive.” I was. If there was one pure and true thing left, it was the change she’d made on my soul. For that, it didn’t matter if I was dead. I’d find a way back to help her. “Wish I was there to hold you.”
It was quiet on her end.
“Baby? You still with me?”
Her sob was quiet. “Indy.”
“Bad one tonight, huh?”
No answer. I think she was covering the microphone on the phone because I couldn’t hear the night noises that came through the cabin walls.
I had to fix this. “You know, if you ever feel like telling me about those nightmares, you can.”
“I don’t know if I can.” It was a whisper.
“Why is that, baby?”
Her voice went even quieter. “If I say it out loud, maybe it will get better.”
A psychiatrist, I’m not. She had me confused. “Wouldn’t that be a good thing?”
There was a long quiet on her end. “I see her in my dreams.”
“Yeah?” I knew which her she was talking about. Her baby. She didn’t even have a picture of her in her house. I checked.
This time, it took her a very long time to answer me. When she did, she started and stopped several times. I waited as she worked to speak. Finally, she was able to get it all out. “If I don’t see her anymore, she’ll be gone. Really gone, Indy.”
There was no answer for that. I’d tried to hang on to memories, too. But I wasn’t good enough to be haunted like that. Everyone I’d loved who had died was long gone. The cold that seeps in when you lose someone numbs your heart. To combat it, I stayed moving. My girl, my father, both gone with no proper way to say goodbye. I visited both graves when I got out. It didn’t do any good. They had disappeared out of my life and I felt like I’d lost something. Trouble was, I couldn’t remember what it was that I had lost. I only knew that it felt empty. Edie wasn’t empty.
She was full. The love she held, moved through her to everyone in her circle. Even me. It wrapped around you and filled you up. It never ended. It never gave up.
As much as it hurt, I could see why a woman like Edie, with so much love in her, would always wake up at three a.m.
Chapter 12: Independence
Edie
Mary talked me into going to the gun shop with her. I felt lost, and if I have to admit it, c
ompletely scared. There were rows and rows of cold iron. I was afraid I’d knock something over, and set off the whole store.
The owner was teaching the class. I watched. The ear muffs didn’t block what he was telling Mary, so I got a little less scared. Then he took a minute to show me a few basics.
By the time her lesson was over, I realized that none of the guns in the shop were loaded. That would be against the law. Then Mary talked me into getting fitted for grip. My hands weren’t as large as hers, but the years of chemicals and ink stains made my hands look a lot more normal touching a gun than Mary’s manicured ones. Of course, she could be one of those gun models with her hands and figure and face. I told her as much.
“In fact, I’m going to need a model for the season. What do you think?”
“Manicures and Medieval clothes?” She asked.
I shrugged. “Why not?”
My mood was so good, she consented to being my new model, and I consented to starting the paperwork to get my permit.
“You’re coming with me next week, too.” Mary declared as we left the shop. “I feel better with you there.”
“Why?” I couldn’t protect her if I wanted to.
“I don’t feel like such a newbie.” Then she knocked my good shoulder with a fist. It felt good to have this. Betty Jo was mostly business. And when she wasn’t, it was all about the party. Mary and I were bonding over scars and guns, and it felt real. I stopped by the phone store before heading home. Changing the number didn’t take as much effort as I thought it would. That was another positive thing.
What was even better, was getting home to the quiet. Rain was falling again. The patter on the roof hushed the outside world. I worked for a bit, then called Mom to stay somewhat tethered to the real world, and give her my new phone number.
I steered the conversation to what my lawyer was helping me with. “You can see, Mom, Eddie’s not being reasonable about this.”
“Are you sure he’s not just kidding?”
“Whether he is or not, it is my business. He’s got no right to it. And, I don’t want you dragged into it. Just block his number, please?”